NOTESTUCK Part 1
WELP.
A young man stands in his bedroom. Although he is not yet aware of it, today just so happens to be the day that his life will change forever, quite suddenly and drastically. In fact, it would not be inaccurate to say that his whole world is about to be turned upside down, although it would be more accurate to say his whole world is about to be destroyed.
So what exactly do you suppose this young man could be named?
-> Enter Name.
You cannot! A name is already engraved on this young man's HONORARY PLACRONYM, as it has been since his 13th birthday roughly four years ago. The aforementioned HONORARY PLACRONYM currently lies hidden in a carefully chosen location that shall remain undisclosed as per this young man's wishes. This means, unfortunately, that you aren't going to be able to get a look at it anytime soon. That's rough, you suppose you'll just have to wait and see if his name is revealed in some other way.
-> Examine room.
Your name is ? ???????. Of course your name is not actually a series of question marks, however you enjoy keeping yourself shrouded in MYSTERY and are viewed as an ENIGMA by most of your friends. As is evident from the mess of plates and wrappers on your desk, other things you enjoy include CAKE, COOKIES, PIE, HEAVILY SWEETENED TEA, and BASICALLY ANYTHING SUGARY. Logically your CONFECTIONARY ADDICTION should cause you no end of health problems, however you are also REALLY DISGUSTINGLY INTELLIGENT and have utilized your exorbitant intellect to moderate your food intake and implement a healthy exercise program that consists mostly of TENNIS and the Brazilian martial arts known as CAPOEIRA. With all this going on in addition to your deep interest in SOLVING CRIMES (holy shit do you love solving crimes, you are so going to be the BEST DETECTIVE EVER someday) it's amazing you still find time to spend on your LAPTOP or standing around your room, like you are now.
Actually, why are you doing that, anyway? Seriously you have so many irons in the fire, you should probably be doing something productive.
-> ?: Retrieve arms from bookshelf!
That doesn't even make any sense. There are obviously nothing but books on the bookshelf. The only arms you have are attached to your body. This is stupid.
-> ?: Slog through a slew of running gags.
You'd love to but the chat client on your laptop is beeping at you, urgently alerting you to the fact that someone is pestering you and that the story should really be moving along. You admit you're a little relieved for the excuse. You mean distraction.
-> ?: Check the excuse.
Oh dammit not this douchebag again.
-> ?: Answer douchebag.
aspiringDivinity [AD] began trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
AD: As I am distinctly aware that your status as a self-styled reclusive genius indicates the chances of you having the initiative to leave your respiteblock of your own volition are virtually non-existent, I have taken it upon myself to motivate you.
AD: Go check your mailbox.
SS: I'm 100% certain that I blocked you.
AD: Your planets chat client technology is not currently advanced enough to provide an obstacle for me. Or anyone, for that matter. It's kind of incredibly pathetic.
SS: You present a rather fascinating dichotomy. If I did not find your antics tiresome and your attitude repellent I might wish to analyze the juxtaposition of an above average intelligence and an insensate need to not only make unfunny and childish gestures of antagonism, but apparent inability to know when to give up.
AD: I never give up. And, as I've said before, none of my interactions with you have been intended as humorous.
AD: Alright, perhaps a few.
AD: But none of them have been untrue.
SS: Your persistence almost inclines me to give your claims a little credit, but I suspect that is exactly what you want.
AD: Of course I want you to believe me. It would make our discussions far more productive.
AD: Also, I am actually telling the truth.
SS: And yet, I'm still not buying what you're selling.
AD: Go check your mailbox.
SS: I will of course eventually succumb to the necessity that is retrieving my mail.
SS: But I don't see any rush, and I'm particularly disinterested in listening to you.
AD: Think about this for a moment. All I am asking is that you walk out your door, something you are fully capable of doing with minimal effort, cross the paltry five meters to your mailbox, and collect its contents.
AD: Seeing as how you disbelieve that I am who I say I am and instead believe me to be some random stranger playing an elaborate if ridiculous prank on you, I really don't understand what exactly the harm is in humoring me for the brief space of time required to complete the simple task I am requesting of you.
SS: I don't want to.
SS: Unrelated, but you do tend to talk a lot, don't you?
AD: Oh my god just go check your FUCKING mailbox.
aspiringDivinity [AD] ceased trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
aspiringDivinity [AD] began trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
AD: Apologies, I am not always able to suppress my temper.
SS: Interesting.
AD: Really though, do go check your mail.
aspiringDivinity [AD] ceased trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
->
Man but you really hate that guy. He's been bothering you for months now and he's the most annoying pretentious asshole ever. He's always raving about being some kind of alien or god or both. You're not totally sure, he never makes much sense.
And yet, somehow he still manages to be interesting enough that you can't quite bring yourself to just ignore him.
-> Go check the fucking mailbox.
Oh no, he's not that interesting.
A young man stands in his bedroom. Although he is not yet aware of it, today just so happens to be the day that his life will change forever, quite suddenly and drastically. In fact, it would not be inaccurate to say that his whole world is about to be turned upside down, although it would be more accurate to say his whole world is about to be destroyed.
So what exactly do you suppose this young man could be named?
-> Enter Name.
You cannot! A name is already engraved on this young man's HONORARY PLACRONYM, as it has been since his 13th birthday roughly four years ago. The aforementioned HONORARY PLACRONYM currently lies hidden in a carefully chosen location that shall remain undisclosed as per this young man's wishes. This means, unfortunately, that you aren't going to be able to get a look at it anytime soon. That's rough, you suppose you'll just have to wait and see if his name is revealed in some other way.
-> Examine room.
Your name is ? ???????. Of course your name is not actually a series of question marks, however you enjoy keeping yourself shrouded in MYSTERY and are viewed as an ENIGMA by most of your friends. As is evident from the mess of plates and wrappers on your desk, other things you enjoy include CAKE, COOKIES, PIE, HEAVILY SWEETENED TEA, and BASICALLY ANYTHING SUGARY. Logically your CONFECTIONARY ADDICTION should cause you no end of health problems, however you are also REALLY DISGUSTINGLY INTELLIGENT and have utilized your exorbitant intellect to moderate your food intake and implement a healthy exercise program that consists mostly of TENNIS and the Brazilian martial arts known as CAPOEIRA. With all this going on in addition to your deep interest in SOLVING CRIMES (holy shit do you love solving crimes, you are so going to be the BEST DETECTIVE EVER someday) it's amazing you still find time to spend on your LAPTOP or standing around your room, like you are now.
Actually, why are you doing that, anyway? Seriously you have so many irons in the fire, you should probably be doing something productive.
-> ?: Retrieve arms from bookshelf!
That doesn't even make any sense. There are obviously nothing but books on the bookshelf. The only arms you have are attached to your body. This is stupid.
-> ?: Slog through a slew of running gags.
You'd love to but the chat client on your laptop is beeping at you, urgently alerting you to the fact that someone is pestering you and that the story should really be moving along. You admit you're a little relieved for the excuse. You mean distraction.
-> ?: Check the excuse.
Oh dammit not this douchebag again.
-> ?: Answer douchebag.
aspiringDivinity [AD] began trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
AD: As I am distinctly aware that your status as a self-styled reclusive genius indicates the chances of you having the initiative to leave your respiteblock of your own volition are virtually non-existent, I have taken it upon myself to motivate you.
AD: Go check your mailbox.
SS: I'm 100% certain that I blocked you.
AD: Your planets chat client technology is not currently advanced enough to provide an obstacle for me. Or anyone, for that matter. It's kind of incredibly pathetic.
SS: You present a rather fascinating dichotomy. If I did not find your antics tiresome and your attitude repellent I might wish to analyze the juxtaposition of an above average intelligence and an insensate need to not only make unfunny and childish gestures of antagonism, but apparent inability to know when to give up.
AD: I never give up. And, as I've said before, none of my interactions with you have been intended as humorous.
AD: Alright, perhaps a few.
AD: But none of them have been untrue.
SS: Your persistence almost inclines me to give your claims a little credit, but I suspect that is exactly what you want.
AD: Of course I want you to believe me. It would make our discussions far more productive.
AD: Also, I am actually telling the truth.
SS: And yet, I'm still not buying what you're selling.
AD: Go check your mailbox.
SS: I will of course eventually succumb to the necessity that is retrieving my mail.
SS: But I don't see any rush, and I'm particularly disinterested in listening to you.
AD: Think about this for a moment. All I am asking is that you walk out your door, something you are fully capable of doing with minimal effort, cross the paltry five meters to your mailbox, and collect its contents.
AD: Seeing as how you disbelieve that I am who I say I am and instead believe me to be some random stranger playing an elaborate if ridiculous prank on you, I really don't understand what exactly the harm is in humoring me for the brief space of time required to complete the simple task I am requesting of you.
SS: I don't want to.
SS: Unrelated, but you do tend to talk a lot, don't you?
AD: Oh my god just go check your FUCKING mailbox.
aspiringDivinity [AD] ceased trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
aspiringDivinity [AD] began trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
AD: Apologies, I am not always able to suppress my temper.
SS: Interesting.
AD: Really though, do go check your mail.
aspiringDivinity [AD] ceased trolling saccharineSleuth [SS]
->
Man but you really hate that guy. He's been bothering you for months now and he's the most annoying pretentious asshole ever. He's always raving about being some kind of alien or god or both. You're not totally sure, he never makes much sense.
And yet, somehow he still manages to be interesting enough that you can't quite bring yourself to just ignore him.
-> Go check the fucking mailbox.
Oh no, he's not that interesting.