But see how deep the bullet lies [Open]

[boundbynaught]

Characters: boundbynaught/Caden, wayward_faith, and kingofsweets; also testosteroned and argent_crinis
Time: Monday May 23rd (forward-dated ever so slightly)
Style: Action, to keep the pace up
Status: Open

Sub-Threads
[ Morning: Camp Out At The Coral] for Ventus, Tsuzuki, etc. - starting just seconds before Rep returns
[ Afternoon: Gym Workout?] (Kanji?)
[ Evening: Street Wandering] for Zexion, etc.

Comments

[Afternoon]

[boundbynaught]

[testosteroned]

[ Kanji took the hit in all of its full impact, but he stood strong and instead of fumbling backwards, he dug his heels into the ground instead. He moved a few spaces away from Caden, but he didn't look all that fazed. Kanji knew that he needed this - he needed to let it all out. ]

[ How do you change what you were created from? How do you become somebody else? Somebody ideal? Kanji shakes his head briefly, and assaults Caden just as quickly as he did to Kanji; he ran towards him and slammed his fist into his face, quite possible hurting his nose. Then, he aims another punch to his gut - an upwards strike, before kicking him in the stomach for good measure. ]

[ And just before Caden retaliates, Kanji finally speaks. ]

You don't. You accept it.

[ He prepares himself for another world of pain. Kid hits hard dammit. ]

[boundbynaught]

[ Rep takes the hits with little more than a groan, even with the punch to his face. He remains hunched over as Kanji goes for his gut, then grabs ahold of his arm with both hands. ]

I WON'T. [ He glared up from his bangs. ] I REFUSE TO BE--

[ A bright white dot flashed on his forehead, and Rep cried out as his knees buckled. His head bowed forward like he'd been dazed, then hung limp as a ragdoll. He fell onto his hands and knees without another word, but didn't collapse completely. ]

[testosteroned]

[ Kanji watches him fall and a look of concern briefly passes on his face. But he remains firm and as soon as Caden was silenced, Kanji knelt down and touched his shoulder. ]

You gotta accept who you are, because if you don't, you can't be the person you wanna be.

[ He grips Caden's shoulder for a moment before he stands up and watches him. ]

It's not easy, lemme tell you. Hell, I know it's damn hard. But you gotta do it if you wanna change. If you really wanna become "Caden".

[boundbynaught]

[ He shook his head furiously. ] No. No.

[ He started breathing heavily, then licked his lips before trying to speak again. ] Replica, shadow, fake, toy, creation, puppet-

That's what they made me to become. Just the body to hold a keyblade for them. To wield the darkness for them. To hurt Sora for them.

[ He shuddered a little in anger, frustration, and a host of other emotions. ] If they hadn't made- it would be better if they hadn't made me at all. Neither of them would've been hurt.

[testosteroned]

[ Kanji doesn't really get the core issue Caden has - heck he doesn't know who Sora is or who Riku is besides being his original - but he's not that dense not to get the surface. He grips his shoulder again and speaks in a firm tone. He's getting this kid through this, honest to god he will. ]

Hey. Quit that kind of talk.

[ Kanji tries to crane his head to look at him in the eyes. ]

Yeah? Replica, shadow, fake, toy, creation, puppet...all of that? It's still you. It's what you were born as, but dammit. That's not what you were born to be. That's your damn decision to make. You gotta accept who you are, because if you don't, you'll be a Shadow for the rest of your life.

[ He looks away, and images of the past flooded his mind. Facing himself, seeing how bad he was and how much trouble he was making because he didn't want to be rejected...Kanji shook his head and looked back at Caden on the floor. ]

The fact is, you may be some clone or whatever, but you got a mind of your own. A regular ol' puppet wouldn't want a life. But

[boundbynaught]

[ The basic problem that Rep is suffering from, when it came to understanding Kanji's point, is that he had no real distinction between past, present, and especially future. He's been up and moving around for a little less than 2 months, not all of which he can remember. His 'past' is all a lie, handed down from Riku. His present is in such shambles he doesn't want to look at it head-on. And so he can't imagine a future for himself. ]

Be, are, what difference does it make? If I'm a shadow now, I'll always be a shadow - doesn't matter if I have a mind. So do the Nobodies. Only difference is I have a heart and even that's not mine to begin with.

[ He tries to curl in on himself tighter, as if that will help in any way, but it does make something snap in him. His spine that Lea had noticed on that first day was always more prominent when he was angry, and he was starting to swing back to that emotion. ]

I don't want a life anyway - I want my life. One where I don't have to explain myself every time I walk up to someone and the first

[testosteroned]

...Idiot.

[ Kanji sighs and turns away from him. This kid thought he had such a huge problem, but at the same time, the answer was right there in front of him too. He needed to realize that. ]

You want your own life, but you're not gonna get that by pickin' fights and tryin' to die. Like I said, when you die, you die. You don't get a goddamn second chance. You don't lose who you are, you just - you lose everythin' else.

[ He looks at his hands and smirks. ]

You're a strong kid, you know that? But if you don't use that power to change what you can, and get it together, then you'll never get what you want. If you're so stuck on bein' a Shadow and somebody else's copy, then fuck. That's all you'll ever be. Unless you do somethin' about it and work with what you got. Y'know, like...like clay. Clay's just mud and water when you think 'bout it, but if you're really good and you really wanna make somethin' out of it, clay can become reaaal pretty. It can be a vase, or or a doll. Somethin' worth lookin' at. [ Kanji glances back at him

[boundbynaught]

[His eyes widened a little as he slowly replies] I'm... Caden to... [He stops, turning that idea over in his head.] I'm Caden?

[Kanji is hardly the first person to call him by the name, but it's never the first or second or tenth time that matters with this replica. It's the time he actually listens that matters most. The fact that Kanji believes he can change is what does it for him. He still can't completely own the name, but for now at least it's dawned on him he might some day be able to. And on that day he'd have a rematch with Riku.]

So I... shouldn't fight anymore? Ever? [He looks a little lost.] Then what else could I do? What would Caden do differently from the me right now, if not fight and get stronger?

[testosteroned]

[ Now this was progress! Finally he was getting through to him. He wasn't sure if he could take another blow, another fight that soon. ]

No, idiot! I'm sayin' don't pick fights when you don't have to. If you're bein' attacked, then duh you gotta fight back. Just use that power you got to protect yourself, and to protect other people.

[ He makes a sound and shrugs. ] Not like I can tell you what to do. That's somethin' you gotta answer yourself. How many times do I gotta tell you? Caden's got his own mind now, his own gut feeling. He can do whatever the hell he wants.

[boundbynaught]

I think...

[He sits up on one knee first.]

I need to think about this some more, rested.

[Fights don't exhaust this kid - trying to sort out his emotions does, though. He sits up on his other knee, then stands.]

I know one person I need to protect... and one other I think I should. [Naminé and Ventus, respectively, were who he was thinking about.]

[He leaves in a bit of a dazed stupor - surprisingly similar to how he came in, but Kanji can tell the difference, plus internally how much changed. The boy's feet don't drag as much, his shoulders aren't quite as stooped, and he even stops at the door. He turns over his shoulder, and raises his hand just high enough for Kanji and Souji to see.]

See you later? [He almost sounds hopeful.]

[testosteroned]

[ He does notice the change in his demeanor, and he's glad it's a positive change. The fights weren't as exhausting as trying to get something across to Caden - Kanji was definitely sure of that. But as he walks away and raises his head to say "see you later", he can't help but smirk. Who knew his words could affect somebody in that way? He hoped Souji was watching the progress with some pride...Kanji would never have cared about this if he never met his Senpai. ]

Yeah, yeah. See ya. Go take a nap or somethin'.