on a pastel ward that's shining
So even when I'm trying to write original fic my fannishness occasionally overwhelms me. Here's a piece of writing from my course this weekend. I'm sure nobody can guess where the characters in this particular snippet come from (it even includes bonus anachronisms!)...
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"What do you mean you don’t even know how to boil an egg?"
"Just that."
"I don’t believe you."
"It’s true. I’ve never done it, have no idea how to do it, and actually, you inappropriately condescending git, I have no wish whatsoever to do it."
"So what would happen if you were all alone on a desert island with only a saucepan, water and an egg? You’re telling me you’d starve?"
"No. I’m telling you I’d go find a coconut then build a raft and sail off into the sunset. To somewhere far, far away from you."
"Prat."
"You know, when you say that I feel like you don’t actually believe in my ability to keep myself alive in any meaningful fashion."
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Interesting."
"Nope."
"Prat."
"So. Are you going to teach me how to boil this egg or not?"
"I think... not."
"But how will you feel when my cold, lifeless body is found on that desert island alone but for an egg?"
"Mostly I’ll be laughing at your incompetence I think."
"All right, I’ll ask nicely. Please, please oh great and wise berk, teach me how to boil an egg."
"Can you boil water?"
"What do you think I am? No. Don’t answer that."
"Okay. So you fill the saucepan half full with water, just enough to cover the egg."
"Cover it lying down or standing up?"
"Well unless you’re intending to hold the egg upright in boiling water with your newly asbestos coated fingers, I’d imagine lying it down would be the better option."
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*covers face with hands and mourns*
***************
"What do you mean you don’t even know how to boil an egg?"
"Just that."
"I don’t believe you."
"It’s true. I’ve never done it, have no idea how to do it, and actually, you inappropriately condescending git, I have no wish whatsoever to do it."
"So what would happen if you were all alone on a desert island with only a saucepan, water and an egg? You’re telling me you’d starve?"
"No. I’m telling you I’d go find a coconut then build a raft and sail off into the sunset. To somewhere far, far away from you."
"Prat."
"You know, when you say that I feel like you don’t actually believe in my ability to keep myself alive in any meaningful fashion."
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Interesting."
"Nope."
"Prat."
"So. Are you going to teach me how to boil this egg or not?"
"I think... not."
"But how will you feel when my cold, lifeless body is found on that desert island alone but for an egg?"
"Mostly I’ll be laughing at your incompetence I think."
"All right, I’ll ask nicely. Please, please oh great and wise berk, teach me how to boil an egg."
"Can you boil water?"
"What do you think I am? No. Don’t answer that."
"Okay. So you fill the saucepan half full with water, just enough to cover the egg."
"Cover it lying down or standing up?"
"Well unless you’re intending to hold the egg upright in boiling water with your newly asbestos coated fingers, I’d imagine lying it down would be the better option."
***************
*covers face with hands and mourns*