let me see if i remember how to do this
I WROTE THIS THING, AND I REALLY LIKE IT AND EVEN THOUGH APPROXIMATLY NO ONE READS THIS, I FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE IT. I HOPE I lj CUTED CORRECTLY. FINGERS CROSSED
From the doorway of the supermarket which has sadly become your second home, you watch him kiss his gorgeous, blonde, tall, perfect girlfriend before getting in his car. You wish you could be in that car. Feel the fury seats; touch the fire extinguisher with your short, fat, ugly fingers. You wish he would look at you, just once, the way he looks at her, smile, just once, that he smiles at her. You wish to see those perfect, straight, white teeth outside of work, and Friendly’s doesn’t count as outside work. You watch for his car whenever you are in Newmarket, its easy enough to spot. You hang out with his mom to learn new things about him. You drive twenty minutes out of you way to buy milk, because you know he’ll be there, even though the West Epping in a whole hell of a lot closer and cheaper. You sit in the parking lot on Thursdays; after you get you check at 1:15 every week to watch him eat his lunch on the back of his car. You do crosswords at 4:53 every Tuesday at the picnic tables out front because you know he’ll help you with the hard ones while he’s on break. You lob your hover disk into the dune buggy lights on the top of his car so you’ll have a reason to touch it. You make him hold your book so you have a reason to take a picture of him. You freak out a little because he picks a piece of hair off you back, or puts a bug in you cash drawer to hear you scream then laughs at you. You keep that odd smelling Snapple bottle he left on you car that Christmas Eve, you put that stupid half knife he cut inside the bottle, because it was once his. You smile when he tells a coworker that you just need a little bit of getting use to before you can be liked, but once you do it’s impossible not to like you. He likes you. You get a free cookie in the bakery, as you go to take a bite, he bites the other end. You don’t know what this means, but your best friend is in French camp in Canada so you can’t ask her. You meet much cuter boys in college, but their not the same as him. You long for Thanksgiving when you can see him again. Your sure he knows about your feeling, everybody does, but you still try to hide it with sarcasm and awkward laughter. Zach tells you her broke up with the girlfriend, your heart races. Two days later you learn from his mom that he has a new girlfriend at school. You’re crushed. Again. He tells your boss that you’re the best cashier they have. He backs you up when they stupid store tries to tell you that you quit when you left for you second year of college, he tells the store manager he’s full of shit. Your heart jumps into your throat. He cares. He changes your flat tire in the Friendly’s parking lot. Will makes you hug him. He smells so good. He hugs you back. He hugs you back. That moment lasts forever. You want to tell him you love him, but you can’t. You wish you could tell him, but you can barely talk to him anyway, plus the whole girlfriend thing. His car breaks down in the parking lot. You get to drive him home! He touches you Gryffindor tie, he messes with you Fred Weasley wand; he eats your Harry Potter jelly beans. He laughs at you because you’re a crazed Harry Potter Fan girl. You make small talk. About work, the stupid job you both hate, the stupid job both of you will never leave. This is the last four and half years of you life. Every moment devoted to a person that will never love you back. He will never feel the way you want him too.
From the doorway of the supermarket which has sadly become your second home, you watch him kiss his gorgeous, blonde, tall, perfect girlfriend before getting in his car. You wish you could be in that car. Feel the fury seats; touch the fire extinguisher with your short, fat, ugly fingers. You wish he would look at you, just once, the way he looks at her, smile, just once, that he smiles at her. You wish to see those perfect, straight, white teeth outside of work, and Friendly’s doesn’t count as outside work. You watch for his car whenever you are in Newmarket, its easy enough to spot. You hang out with his mom to learn new things about him. You drive twenty minutes out of you way to buy milk, because you know he’ll be there, even though the West Epping in a whole hell of a lot closer and cheaper. You sit in the parking lot on Thursdays; after you get you check at 1:15 every week to watch him eat his lunch on the back of his car. You do crosswords at 4:53 every Tuesday at the picnic tables out front because you know he’ll help you with the hard ones while he’s on break. You lob your hover disk into the dune buggy lights on the top of his car so you’ll have a reason to touch it. You make him hold your book so you have a reason to take a picture of him. You freak out a little because he picks a piece of hair off you back, or puts a bug in you cash drawer to hear you scream then laughs at you. You keep that odd smelling Snapple bottle he left on you car that Christmas Eve, you put that stupid half knife he cut inside the bottle, because it was once his. You smile when he tells a coworker that you just need a little bit of getting use to before you can be liked, but once you do it’s impossible not to like you. He likes you. You get a free cookie in the bakery, as you go to take a bite, he bites the other end. You don’t know what this means, but your best friend is in French camp in Canada so you can’t ask her. You meet much cuter boys in college, but their not the same as him. You long for Thanksgiving when you can see him again. Your sure he knows about your feeling, everybody does, but you still try to hide it with sarcasm and awkward laughter. Zach tells you her broke up with the girlfriend, your heart races. Two days later you learn from his mom that he has a new girlfriend at school. You’re crushed. Again. He tells your boss that you’re the best cashier they have. He backs you up when they stupid store tries to tell you that you quit when you left for you second year of college, he tells the store manager he’s full of shit. Your heart jumps into your throat. He cares. He changes your flat tire in the Friendly’s parking lot. Will makes you hug him. He smells so good. He hugs you back. He hugs you back. That moment lasts forever. You want to tell him you love him, but you can’t. You wish you could tell him, but you can barely talk to him anyway, plus the whole girlfriend thing. His car breaks down in the parking lot. You get to drive him home! He touches you Gryffindor tie, he messes with you Fred Weasley wand; he eats your Harry Potter jelly beans. He laughs at you because you’re a crazed Harry Potter Fan girl. You make small talk. About work, the stupid job you both hate, the stupid job both of you will never leave. This is the last four and half years of you life. Every moment devoted to a person that will never love you back. He will never feel the way you want him too.