我想要愛您 ...
Yesterday caused me quite an embarrassment. I admit, i was quite upset when you weren't so playful around me, but towards the end, I didn't mind so much. You kissed me on the cheek, and I felt so giddy. You did it to the others as well, but I didn't mind.
But I was so shocked, and even moreso disappointed, when you snuck up behind me and playfully tried to give me another kiss on the cheek. Only, I didn't realise you were there and turned. I almost kissed you... or, you almost kissed me. I pulled away so quickly that I now regret it. It's been playing on my mind ever since, and I so wish that it happened.
I think it sad, almost pathetic that there is such a yearning. I thrive on physical contact, yet when you're around, I only want you to hold me, make me special. I hug you so much, I try to convey what I feel to you in such a simple action. It saddens me when you don't notice. It confuses and frustrates me when I know that I'm trying too hard, that I'm not going to get your affections.
I hate that I'm always thinking of you, and getting hurt and disappointed when I remember, "none of this is real". I try to get over you, but then you do something that lights up my world and I fall all over again.
我想要愛您...
Please let me...