Step 1.
Get your crockpot out of the closet, dust it off and turn it to high. Throw in a stick of butter/margarine.
Step 2
Let the butter melt while you prep the onions.
Step 3
Slice up a grip of onions. This was about 5. Cook's illustrated recommends slicing them from pole to pole instead of across to keep them from falling apart quite so much.
Step 4
Chuck the onions in the crockpot.
Step 5
Toss to coat with the melted butter.
Step 6
Cover, turn to low. Let it sit 10-14 hours.
Step 7
Seriously. That long.
Step 8
When you walk by, give it a toss with the tongs, otherwise don't screw with it. This is not high maintenance.
Step 9
It'll be fine. Just go to bed.
Step 10
You may want to open a window, though. Cooking onions smell good, but all night gets to be a little much.
Step 11
Check on it in the morning.
Step 12
Drain and store, covered, in the fridge for a while. Put on all kinds of stuff. OMNOMNOM.