Lyssa's Rant
Cut for rantiness Okay, I went to see "A Lot Like Heaven" with the sis today, as "The Corpse Bride" isn't out for a week. Before the feature film, which was entertaining enough and mildly thought-provoking if not groundbreaking, we were subjected to what seemed like an even longer than ususal parade of ads, insultinly easy movie trivia questions and this bloody music video to promote ANOTHER remake of Romeo and Juliet and to promote the crappy, kiddie-made clothes from H&M.
It was the most putrid piece of celluloid shit I have seen in a long time, and I have seen an appaling amount of bad cinema in my time (I was raised on "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians). This was vile, for numerous reasons.
There will be spoilers for those of you who have not yet been subjected to this bit of tripe (that had to be at least five minutes long), but I really don't think you'll give a rat's arse.
1) Mary J. Blige is a fur hag
2) It's a song that is forgetable at its highest points
3) The Juliet does much of the singing, or appears to, and she's irritating and shieky as well
4) It's set in the ghet-to, which makes it more like West Side Story with lousy songs, if this one is any indication. Why didn't they just remake that?
5) About ninety seconds in when what little novelty it had wore off, we see Juliet weeping over Romeo's dead body in the middle of the street, you're thinking "bloody hell, just shoot yourself already!" But she doesn't, she has to wail several more minutes and promote more H&M clothing in the cringe-inducing montage of her doomed love affrair.
6) the finally, she raises her bloody (literally) cell phone in a fit of rage, everybody freezes, and we hear gun shots.
What the fuck was that? Was the cell phone really a gun in disguise? This was the dumbest thing ever!
If I didn't already dislike H&M, this would have put me off it forever.
***
Got talked into going over to the cousins to have cake for his eighteenth birthday. The other cousin brought her crackhead boyfriend (he actually is a crackhead, it's not an insult). Blimey, he was a piece of work. He is the redneck of Jennifer's dreams (she's already borne a child with a guy who robbed my aunt and uncle's house), but the rest of us were mortified by him.
Sheesh, she's been clean for a couple of years now. She's not the smartest of people or the best of mothers, but at least she was off drugs. But apparently, she's back, and if she's not careful, she's going to lose her kid (who behaved like a complete beast, I might add).
On the other hand, it's good to know I'm not the most screwed person in the family.
Oh dear, that kinda turned into a rant too.
Time for bed before I get myself worked up again.
It was the most putrid piece of celluloid shit I have seen in a long time, and I have seen an appaling amount of bad cinema in my time (I was raised on "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians). This was vile, for numerous reasons.
There will be spoilers for those of you who have not yet been subjected to this bit of tripe (that had to be at least five minutes long), but I really don't think you'll give a rat's arse.
1) Mary J. Blige is a fur hag
2) It's a song that is forgetable at its highest points
3) The Juliet does much of the singing, or appears to, and she's irritating and shieky as well
4) It's set in the ghet-to, which makes it more like West Side Story with lousy songs, if this one is any indication. Why didn't they just remake that?
5) About ninety seconds in when what little novelty it had wore off, we see Juliet weeping over Romeo's dead body in the middle of the street, you're thinking "bloody hell, just shoot yourself already!" But she doesn't, she has to wail several more minutes and promote more H&M clothing in the cringe-inducing montage of her doomed love affrair.
6) the finally, she raises her bloody (literally) cell phone in a fit of rage, everybody freezes, and we hear gun shots.
What the fuck was that? Was the cell phone really a gun in disguise? This was the dumbest thing ever!
If I didn't already dislike H&M, this would have put me off it forever.
***
Got talked into going over to the cousins to have cake for his eighteenth birthday. The other cousin brought her crackhead boyfriend (he actually is a crackhead, it's not an insult). Blimey, he was a piece of work. He is the redneck of Jennifer's dreams (she's already borne a child with a guy who robbed my aunt and uncle's house), but the rest of us were mortified by him.
Sheesh, she's been clean for a couple of years now. She's not the smartest of people or the best of mothers, but at least she was off drugs. But apparently, she's back, and if she's not careful, she's going to lose her kid (who behaved like a complete beast, I might add).
On the other hand, it's good to know I'm not the most screwed person in the family.
Oh dear, that kinda turned into a rant too.
Time for bed before I get myself worked up again.