(no subject)
I do not know what to do about Kuranosuke's letter. I know I must reply, but it would be a disservice to him and what we once shared to hurriedly reply to something that it took him a great deal of courage to write and deliver. Especially, when I feel like a stranger to myself.
I do not know which of Saeki's words struck so hard and so deep, but the truth is that they did. And now where once zest and fire lived nothing exists. Perhaps, it was the many revelations I had that night, perhaps not. Truthfully, I do not need to rehash every memory between then and now to discover the why of it to know that this absence works well with focusing solely on my master once again.
Either way, I will reply to it before our trip ends and hopefully I do not lose yet another friend when I explain the vow I made that night. But I feel that Kuranosuke will understand more than any other why there must never be another given his loyalty to his own master and the absence of emotions within me.
He deserves much more than the barren wasteland I have become.