One Year....
Destiny is something not be to desired and not to be avoided. a mystery not contrary to reason, for it implies that the world, and the course of human history, have meaning.
The rain is causing some mild flooding in the G and F lines, but a few sturdy sandbags have kept it out of the house.
I have been here for over one full year.
In that time, I have learned much about the nature of life, physics, the universe, and the strange and complex ties which hold us as sentient beings together.
I have met beings that I once believed could not exist, did not exist.
I have indulged in my hobbies, and varying pursuits.
I came to a realization that staggered me today, whilst listening to the rain fall with Evey.
For an entire year I have simply.....lived.
I am both pleased, and disquieted by this notion.
Pleased, for it is a thing I never thought possible for me, and disquieted because for all that I have never been happier in my remembered lifetime, I am not alive.
I am not alive. I lived my life, and played my part as fate prescribed for me. I did much, and once that part was played out, I bowed out gracefully from the stage.
I set much in motion, and set Evey, the woman I love, free from her prison of fear. I was satisfied with my time on earth, and death was thought to be my well deserved peace.
But now...now what is the purpose of my continued existence?
I have been content to stay as I am; to neither grow, nor change.
I have been happy, and that is the worst cage of them all. For it is happiness that the human animal clings to. I worked so very hard to shed myself of fear, but I have been caught by fear again. Fear wearing a different face, but the same foe nonetheless.
I have been idle too long. The worlds, mine own included, are not ended, and I further played my part out in this un-place, as it were. There are others, now, and I must trust in the strength of those around me to continue their own stories. Their own parts.
I am no god, and no higher life form, meant to watch over mankind, and I am not a man meant to live my small span and do the most good that I can in that time.
The myths have always condemned those who "looked back." Condemned them, whatever the paradise may have been which they were leaving. Hence this shadow over each departure from your decision.
I must look back, no further....
It is time to fulfill my last promise. My last vow.
It is time to see Evey restored to her proper place, and for me to move on.
I do not know how I may accomplish this, for I do not trust such deals made with deities for passage. It seems far too easy to me to trick unwary citizens into becoming further food for the City, rather than let their prey go with so little fuss.
Still and all, it can be done, for I have seen it.
She will be cross with me, I think....but Evey has a life awaiting her, and I....I have no right to tie her here. As I love her, I must let her go...