random TV musings

[velena]

Big Love

I recently signed up for Netflix, which is awesome, by the way, and one of the first things I rented was Big Love. And I just couldn't get into it. The acting is great (I particularly love Jean Tripplehorn and Ginnifer Goodwin), I love the wardrobes and the writing is really good, but it's so far from the familiar that it feels actively

Comments

[stungunbilly]

I totally relate to what you're saying about Big Love (engaging characters, well acted/scripted etc.), except. I don't mind the unfamiliarity as much, and I have no problem with consensual polyamory, but I *do* have a serious moral objection to Mormon polygamy. It is far too power-imbalanced to be acceptable, IMHO. You don't see multiple marriage with several husbands and one wife, and the women are raised in a way that makes them easily pressured into polygamy without full awareness of all the other options they have.

That said, I think the show basically states that Barb wasn't really into the whole thing, but was pressured by her husband WHILE SHE HAD CANCER. WTF, how is that even at all acceptable?

[velena]

Barb wasn't really into the whole thing, but was pressured by her husband WHILE SHE HAD CANCER. WTF

I know! That's what kills me. It's like her daughter explains to that friend, "I think my Mom loves my Dad too much and was afraid of losing him." And I'm just like, Ugh, that is so horrible. Not only did she have to go through cancer, but Bill basically punished her for it.

And the power imbalance thing really bugs me as well. Bill seems like a pretty good husband to all three of them, but the idea of having to ask my husband permission for everything just boggles my mind.

[stungunbilly]

Exactly. It's like Bill is the patriarch, and in a sense the women are all like slighly elevated children.

In a truly polyamorous version, wouldn't all partners be potentially sexual with each other, wouldn't power be more evenly shared, and wouldn't each member be equally able to introduce a new candidate? But that isn't what we see at all.

[velena]

Yes, I totally agree. And as cute as some of the wives can be, and as loving as Bill can be towards each of them individually, it's hard to see anything redeeming about their marriage.

I mean, I know the writing is subtle and they're not going to come out and say, well this is what's so great about polygamy or polyamorous relationships, and so this is how it's justified. But I had a hard time finding any truly positive aspect to the sitauation. Like, I couldn't find the good in the show, as hard as I tried to.

And so much of the bad comes from the inequalities, as you pointed out.