the jokes i know off the top of my head
a kid asks his dad what the difference is between confident and confidential. the dad answers, "you're my son. of that, i'm confident. your friend timmy is also my son. that's confidential."
what did pink floyd and dale earnhardt have in common? their greatest hits were 'the wall'.
how do you know you're being robbed by asians? all your electronics are gone, your math homework's done, and an hour later, they're still trying to get out of your driveway.
a jewish guy calls his mom. he says, "mom, how're you doing?" she says, "horrible, i haven't eaten in 32 days." he goes, "why haven't you eaten in 32 days?" she answers, "i didn't want my mouth to be full in case you called."
how did they know princess di had dandruff? her head and shoulders were all over the place.
a guy walks into a doctor's office with a duck on his head. the doc asks, "what's the matter?" the duck says, "can you get this guy off my ass?"
why do mexicans cross the border two at a time? the sign says 'no trespassing'.
what did pink floyd and dale earnhardt have in common? their greatest hits were 'the wall'.
how do you know you're being robbed by asians? all your electronics are gone, your math homework's done, and an hour later, they're still trying to get out of your driveway.
a jewish guy calls his mom. he says, "mom, how're you doing?" she says, "horrible, i haven't eaten in 32 days." he goes, "why haven't you eaten in 32 days?" she answers, "i didn't want my mouth to be full in case you called."
how did they know princess di had dandruff? her head and shoulders were all over the place.
a guy walks into a doctor's office with a duck on his head. the doc asks, "what's the matter?" the duck says, "can you get this guy off my ass?"
why do mexicans cross the border two at a time? the sign says 'no trespassing'.