a speculation on hairy armpits
A/N: This was originally written for jaeho_detox's (june 10th) 2012 YunJae anniversary. I posted anonymously in the entry, and now, I can't seem to find the link to the community's entry, lol.
prompt: armpit hair - jaejoong and yunho discuss whether or not yunho should shave his armpits
"Boojae?"
"Yeah?" Jaejoong glances out the bathroom door intersecting his bedroom to check on his currently semi-wet and oh-so-sexy boyfriend lying in bed post-shower. Yunho's strong arms are crossed behind his head of damp hair, his eyes closed and contemplating.
"Do you..." the younger man's eyelids open in a lazy, half-closed state; he shifts into a position facing Jaejoong. "Do you think I should shave?"
"What?" Jaejoong's bottom lip juts out in confusion. "Didn't you just shave?"
He crosses the bedroom with gently padding feet to touch Yunho's smooth jaw and clucks his tongue upon feeling soft skin.
"Smooth as a baby's ass, Yunnie-bear," chuckles Jaejoong, rubbing his thumb along the curve of the brunette's chin.
"That's not what I meant," says Yunho. He seems flustered now, a red blush rises up and along his neck. Jaejoong can only gaze down at the fidgeting man with mixed feelings of adoration and amusement.
"Exactly what did you mean?"
"Er..."
"Is it your pubes?"
Yunho sputters. "N-no!"
"It's alright, baby. I get self-conscious sometimes, too - which is why I trim, you know?"
Jaejoong is almost certain Yunho does a face-palm.
"I'm talking about underarm hair," mutters Yunho in embarrassment, hiding his warm face beneath long fingers.
"Underarm hair? As in armpit hair?"
"Yes, as in armpit hair, Jaejoong!"
The blonde laughs. "Why armpit hair?"
"They're like black voids."
Jaejoong stares. Yunho elaborates.
"Voids - as in a dark abyss. Compared to yours, mine are..." Yunho sighs when he realizes that he's not making any sense. "I saw you circle my armpit hair in a picture at a fansign event, and I don't know what to think. Is this something you don't like?"
Jaejoong keeps up the pretense of a serious expression before climbing onto Yunho's lap in a kitten-ish fashion.
"You are the most ridiculous person I've ever met, Jung Yunho," replies Jaejoong, tweaking the other man's nose.
"...so does that mean I shave or no?"
Jaejoong presses a quick kiss on Yunho's lips and shakes his head, instantly relaxing the tense dancer. "Keep it. Hairy armpits exude manliness.”
Yunho laughs against the older man's lips. "Exuding, huh?"
"Yes, very much so. So much that my libido's calling out for more Yunho-manliness."
"Mmm, is that a good thing?"
"Unn, yeah, it's a very good thing."
And the discussion comes to an abrupt end as the two love doves go for a very nice morning romp, hairy armpits and all.
(end.)
alternative (unposted) armpit story
summary: yunho and jaejoong get into a heated argument about sexuality and armpit hair.
Jaejoong: Shave it.
Yunho: No.
Jaejoong: For god's sake, you're a gay man! You need that armpit hair gone!
Yunho: I'm not exactly gay per se...
Jaejoong: Then what do you call our relationship, idiot?!
Yunho: I'm not gay, Boojae. I just love you.
Jaejoong: Corny talk won't get you out of shaving that dark bush under your arm, Yunnie.
Yunho: (sigh) What's wrong with a little masculine hair under the pits? Girls like it.
Jaejoong: Girls like it?
Yunho: Yes, and it'd be nice if you could be more agreeable like them, too.
Jaejoong: (gasp) Ooohh! You did not just go there! Jung Yunho, we are so over! Over, you hear?! Get your flat ass out of my apartment, you hetero donkey piece of hippo shit!
Yunho: Boo, you're overreacting. Calm down; we can talk this out.
Jaejoong: We have nothing to talk about! Why don't you just get yourself a girlfriend with an armpit hair fetish?! Talk to her instead! See if I care!
Yunho: I didn't mean it like that. You know this whole 'gay' thing is new to me.
Jaejoong: And you don't think dating a 'straight' guy is also new to me? You're the one who wanted this!
Yunho: I know, I know. I was just hoping we could take it slow...
Jaejoong: And by taking it slow, you mean you want to have the privilege of being able to talk about girls in front of me? As if you're normal by your definition of straight, and I'm the one in the wrong because I'm gay? Well, forget you. If you're not leaving, then I'm going, and when I come back, I expect you gone. I've had enough.
Yunho: Jaejoongie.
Jaejoong: Don't fucking call me that! You have no right, Yunho-sshi! Good luck on finding yourself a hairy-armpit loving girl. and while you're at that, I hope you contract armpit crabs and herpes!"
Yunho: Jaejoong, wait!
Jaejoong: Fuck. You.
(exit.)
Epilogue:
Needless to say, Yunho ends up camping at Jaejoong's apartment for three consecutive days until the older man returns; on which, upon his arrival, leads to numerous apologies, bouts of angry make-up sex, and ultimately, concludes with the extermination of Yunho's armpit hair.