Retail Therapy // Part Four
“That is so ugly that it is actually painful for me to look at,” Jack said screwing his nose up at a chrome statue.
“It’s not ugly, it’s... art,” Flyzik said unconvincingly.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s ugly.”
Flyzik shook his head before slapping Jack’s hand away as he reached out to touch the oddly shaped lump of metal.
“Remember what I told you?”
“No touching because this store is fucking expensive and we’re saving up for Disneyland Paris in the Fall?”
“Exactly.”
The couple continued wandering through the overpriced department store.
“I think they’d like that,” Jack said, pointing to a set of metallic pink champagne flutes.
“I think Evan would throw those at us.”
“Dan would like them.”
“Dan probably would,” Flyzik agreed.
“Why are we buying them a present, anyway?”
“Because they just got a new house.”
“Isn’t that enough of a present?”
Flyzik sighed and shook his head. “No, Jack. It’s nice to buy someone a housewarming present when they move. It’s meant to help bring luck and shit, I think.”
“Oh. What do they need?”
“I have no idea.”
The store they were in was filled with displays of glassware and manchester and appliances but nothing was jumping out to Flyzik. Expecting Jack to seriously pick something out was a ridiculous idea and Flyzik had pretty much expected to be doing the shopping on his own.
“I’m thinking maybe some wine glasses and a nice bottle of red to go with them.”
“Isn’t that what we got Alex and Ri when they moved?”
“It’s a classic gift and I’m bad at this sort of thing, okay.”
Flyzik picked up a red wine glass and examined it closely. “These are nice.”
“They’re boring,” Jack said, picking up a glass that was decorated with crystal bling.
“No, they’re awful. These are nice and plain.”
“Hi, gentlemen. Can I help you today?” a redheaded shop assistant smiled pleasantly at them as she walked over.
“Hey. Uh, we just wanted to grab some of those,” Flyzik said, pointing at the set he’d picked out.
His comment was followed by a loud shattering noise and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply and trying to keep his cool.
“And whatever he just broke.”
“Sorry,” Jack said sheepishly, holding the stem of the blinged-out wine glass.
They walked out into the mall after paying for their purchases, Flyzik carrying them because he knew Jack couldn’t be trusted.
“You could have at least broken something nice,” he said crabbily “Now we’re stuck with five ugly wine glasses.”
“We’ll give them to your mother. She’ll love them.”
“No she won’t, Jack. Nobody is going to love those.”
“I like them.”
“Well, you can have them then.”
“Good, I will.”
“You don’t even drink wine,” Flyzik pointed out, pulling Jack into a menswear store.
“Maybe I’ll start.”
“Do you like this?” Flyzik asked, holding up a dark blue sweater.
Jack nodded. “For me or for you?”
“Me,” Flyzik said “But we both know you’ll just steal it when it smells like me, anyway.”
Jack nodded happily. “I like the way you smell.”
Flyzik couldn’t help but smile. “I’m gonna try it on. These jeans too.”
He walked into the fitting rooms, leaving Jack standing outside with the wine glasses. He was sort of waiting to hear a shattering noise, but he tried to ignore that dread. He pulled the sweater on over his head and looked in the mirror. It fit and it looked damn good on him.
He opened up the curtain. “What do you think, baby?”
Jack raised an eyebrow and looked his boyfriend up and down. “How do you manage to make a sweater look so damn good?”
Flyzik blushed. “Shut up. What about the jeans?”
“They make your ass look even better than normal.”
Fkyzik shut the curtain again, still blushing furiously. He took the sweater off and folded it neatly and was just unbuttoning the jeans when he felt hands grab his hips from behind. He looked up to see Jack in the mirror, a cheeky smirk on his face.
“Thought you might need a hand getting changed.”
“I’m okay, actually.”
“Liar,” Jack said, snaking his arms right around Flyzik’s waist and unzipping the jeans.
Flyzik inhaled sharply. “Jack, stop it. Not here. People will hear.”
“Not if you’re quiet,” he replied with a grin, slipping a hand into his boyfriend’s underwear.
“It’s not ugly, it’s... art,” Flyzik said unconvincingly.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s ugly.”
Flyzik shook his head before slapping Jack’s hand away as he reached out to touch the oddly shaped lump of metal.
“Remember what I told you?”
“No touching because this store is fucking expensive and we’re saving up for Disneyland Paris in the Fall?”
“Exactly.”
The couple continued wandering through the overpriced department store.
“I think they’d like that,” Jack said, pointing to a set of metallic pink champagne flutes.
“I think Evan would throw those at us.”
“Dan would like them.”
“Dan probably would,” Flyzik agreed.
“Why are we buying them a present, anyway?”
“Because they just got a new house.”
“Isn’t that enough of a present?”
Flyzik sighed and shook his head. “No, Jack. It’s nice to buy someone a housewarming present when they move. It’s meant to help bring luck and shit, I think.”
“Oh. What do they need?”
“I have no idea.”
The store they were in was filled with displays of glassware and manchester and appliances but nothing was jumping out to Flyzik. Expecting Jack to seriously pick something out was a ridiculous idea and Flyzik had pretty much expected to be doing the shopping on his own.
“I’m thinking maybe some wine glasses and a nice bottle of red to go with them.”
“Isn’t that what we got Alex and Ri when they moved?”
“It’s a classic gift and I’m bad at this sort of thing, okay.”
Flyzik picked up a red wine glass and examined it closely. “These are nice.”
“They’re boring,” Jack said, picking up a glass that was decorated with crystal bling.
“No, they’re awful. These are nice and plain.”
“Hi, gentlemen. Can I help you today?” a redheaded shop assistant smiled pleasantly at them as she walked over.
“Hey. Uh, we just wanted to grab some of those,” Flyzik said, pointing at the set he’d picked out.
His comment was followed by a loud shattering noise and he closed his eyes, sighing deeply and trying to keep his cool.
“And whatever he just broke.”
“Sorry,” Jack said sheepishly, holding the stem of the blinged-out wine glass.
They walked out into the mall after paying for their purchases, Flyzik carrying them because he knew Jack couldn’t be trusted.
“You could have at least broken something nice,” he said crabbily “Now we’re stuck with five ugly wine glasses.”
“We’ll give them to your mother. She’ll love them.”
“No she won’t, Jack. Nobody is going to love those.”
“I like them.”
“Well, you can have them then.”
“Good, I will.”
“You don’t even drink wine,” Flyzik pointed out, pulling Jack into a menswear store.
“Maybe I’ll start.”
“Do you like this?” Flyzik asked, holding up a dark blue sweater.
Jack nodded. “For me or for you?”
“Me,” Flyzik said “But we both know you’ll just steal it when it smells like me, anyway.”
Jack nodded happily. “I like the way you smell.”
Flyzik couldn’t help but smile. “I’m gonna try it on. These jeans too.”
He walked into the fitting rooms, leaving Jack standing outside with the wine glasses. He was sort of waiting to hear a shattering noise, but he tried to ignore that dread. He pulled the sweater on over his head and looked in the mirror. It fit and it looked damn good on him.
He opened up the curtain. “What do you think, baby?”
Jack raised an eyebrow and looked his boyfriend up and down. “How do you manage to make a sweater look so damn good?”
Flyzik blushed. “Shut up. What about the jeans?”
“They make your ass look even better than normal.”
Fkyzik shut the curtain again, still blushing furiously. He took the sweater off and folded it neatly and was just unbuttoning the jeans when he felt hands grab his hips from behind. He looked up to see Jack in the mirror, a cheeky smirk on his face.
“Thought you might need a hand getting changed.”
“I’m okay, actually.”
“Liar,” Jack said, snaking his arms right around Flyzik’s waist and unzipping the jeans.
Flyzik inhaled sharply. “Jack, stop it. Not here. People will hear.”
“Not if you’re quiet,” he replied with a grin, slipping a hand into his boyfriend’s underwear.