Q: How does Vel write while drunk
A: Very much the way she does when sober -- only much much much slower, and with terrible grammar and spelling.
I wrote this ... er... "Fic" for Iron Drunk -- the rules: 1) Get drunk (I was only tispy for the first 200 words, after that, yeah, I'd call myself drunk) 2) Write porn. 3) No editing, no deletion.
So true to that, with no deletion or editing, and including the precious prose where my 4 year old daughter climbed on my lap and painstakingly tapped out her contribution to the story.
TITLE: Conversations with Muses.
RATING: NC-17
GENRE: Humor/smut/tardness
WARNING: Rape, toys, OOCness. Wishfulfillment. Self-insert.
I tapped my glass to call the meeting to order - actually, not so much a glass as it was a bottle, which was made out of glass, and therefore made the same tone. "Ahem. I realize that things have been a bit slow around here, but the problem remains, I gotta produce something. Or I'll lose my credentials, you see, and they'll boot me from the internets."
"And this would be a bad thing…" murmured Ed from the couch, where he lay looking exhausted and underfed despite the fact that I had both been easy on him and explicitly gave him a meal in the last fic.
Ok. Cookies. Cookies have calories. And carbohydrates. Probably some protien in there somewhere too. In the egg. Yeah. Anyway, it's a meal if I say so. >:EEEEE
"And that's exactly why we don't like being ficced," said Ed. "Do you always have to have that attitude with us? You want someone to be nice to you, you gotta be nice to them."
This is sooooo not true. At least it's ot true of Muses. So I ducttaped Ed's mouth so we could continue the meeting because obviously no one else was going to object to me. Ever. Right.
"Yes Ma'am" came the chorus back.
Damn straight.
phoenixzoomerlin
After the daughter was chased from my lap, the meeting continued.
"Okay, folks, I'm going to do what I've never let you do before. Pitch me some ideas. I'm going to let you decide what I'm going to write." I smiled indulgently at my assembled audience.
"You know," said Al in his slightly echoing, childish yet still highly pornable, armored voice. "Isn't this the normal job of muses? We tell you what to write, rather than you telling us what to do and then beating us when we complain?"
Two feet of duct tape later the meeting continued.
"Greed," I called out, because he's my pet. Playing favorites is normal in the ficcing department. "Give me a story line. Porn please."
The lean humunculus leaned forward, legs slightly spred, his fingers laced together bridging the gap between his knees. A slow smile unzipped his mouth, and he glanced at me conspiritorily over his small wire rimmed sunglasses. "It should start something like this I believe..."
~~~~~~~wavey lines of scene change ~~~~~~~~~~
Roy grunted around the thick rubber ball in his mouth. The dungeon was hellishly hot -- a wet steamy heat that made the air seem almost unbreatheably thick. His nostrils flared with every harsh breath and sweat dripped from his chin. As hard as he tried he could not free himself from the elaborate metal structure the humunculus had belted him to.
His breath was controlled not so much by the heat, or the ball in his mouth but a rhythmic and inescapable thrusting. Not the humunculus this time, but some machine he'd concocted, arranged to penetrate his well used asshole with the tireless efficiancy of a metronome.
Greed slowly drew a pattern across Roy's bare back with the clawed tip of his blackened hand. Then reached down to adjust the machine's pace. Roy grunted quicker.
"Do you love me," he whispered.
Roy nodded. He did. How could he not.
~~~~~~~~~~ wheee~~~~~~~~
"WHAT?" yelled Roy, glowering from the couch. "That's utterly rediculous. Completely OOC. And not even for me -- I don't think any man in that position would love someone who did that to them."
Greed blew gently across his fingernails. "What can I say, I'm the master of porn. Even you would swoon at me."
"That is utterly untrue," argued Roy. "Completely. Look I'm heterosexual, and deep in Velvet's mind she knows that, that's why she always has me justifying why the hell I'm sleeping with the male cast of this universe. I'm not going to swoon for some guy whose strapped me to a goddamn FUCKING MACHINE."
"Mmmm," I said. "You know Greed, that's an AWFULLY tempting scenerio, but I gotta go with Roy on this, I don't see him falling in love with you bacause you plow him so very well -- tell you what, why don't you work on that scenerio for a bit and get back to me."
I turned to Roy. "Okay, care to give me your version? I gotta say, you've got stiff competition."
Roy straightened up and began to speak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy sat in his office admiring his new digs. The leather chair was quite comfy, and the tapestries were very patriotic. Around him were several couches which could be put to good use. Would he be considered a cad if he had a woman waiting on each?
In any regard, the paperwork was done for the day, the war with Drachma was winding up. There was reason for celebration with each report his many generals sent across his desk. They were even considering erecting a monument to him in Central's largest park to commenmorate his almost clairvoyant accumen. A war won with almost no casualties -- it was almost unheard of.
Women found the idea of such a savvy leader indescribably attractive, and so he was not surprised at all to see the large double doors to his office gliding open and Riza stand, blushing on the threshold. Roy regarded her feminine curves, her large dewy eyes, the way her generous mounds of her breasts made the fabric of her shirt gape between the straining buttons.
"Hawkeye," said Roy gently. "This is unexpected. It's been almost three months since you quit the military. What has brought you back?"
Her eyes flash upward, meeting his for a second, before falling demurely to his rare imported Xingan rug. She turned around to close the doors behind her. Then looked over her shoulder as if seeking his approval.
"Roy," she said, her breasts heaving as if she had difficulty catching her breath. "I have realized that after all these years, I've been a fool."
"Never," Roy demurred, standing up and skirting his desk.
"I have always wanted to wait, until you were ready to pick just one woman to spend your life with. Then I planned to be that woman." Her eyes met his again, this time radiant with passion. 'Now I realize I was merely denying my self the pleasures you could have given me."
"Now you know better," Roy said. He close with her and held her. Her clothes seemed to dissolve under his fingers and his hands cupped her breasts, feeling their weight and warmth fill the palms of his hands. He breathed against her ear and nuzzled her neck, drawing small bits of her skin up into his mouth and sucking them sweetly. He heard her gasp in excitement, and felt her wanton hands runing up and down his powerful back and...
~~~~~~~~~~~ er ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Roy, Roy, Roy," I interupted. "You've been my muse how long?"
"Almost two years."
"And what have you learned?"
"I don't wnat to answer that question," said Roy suddenly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Roy. I don't do Royai."
"You can always start," he said. "Listen you've done just about every other pairing in the universe, why not Royai. She adores me. I ignore her. It's great. It's almost canon! What more could you want?" He raised his eyebrow at me in that condescending way that just demands duct tape.
"Well, more cocks," I said. "Specifically in you."
Ed was making muffled noises. It wasn't his usual screaming which I've learned to tune out. So, against my better judgement i removed the tape from his mouth. His eyes were firey -- I'd say molten but melting eyes is really Ambre's deparment and I don't want to trample on her territory. "My turn you, bitch. This time I get to say what you want."
"What I want," I replied amused. "This was supposed to be about what you want."
"You have no interest in writing what I want, but I can spin a story that you'll accept."
"I'm intrigued. Go for it."
Edward opened his mouth (no this isn't anything new.).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment smelled delicious. Ed lifted his chin and closed his eyes and set about catagorizing the various flavors of wonderful that were wafting about. That was steak, just a bit seared on the outside, but under the char was juicy, fresh meaty goodness, nearly red, and dripping with juice. That other smell, that would be garlic mashed potatoes, made with real butter. And there was the scent of apple pie, cooling in the window waiting for after the lull between satiating dinner, and the need for a bedtime snack.
Hei emerged from the kitchen a moment later, wearing nothing but an apron. His cheeks were flushed and healthy thanks to Edwards recent medical discoveries. Ed ran his eyes up and down his roommates form, admiring how strong and supple his muscles were, and how little the apron actually covered of his backside.
"Was work hard?" Heidrich asked, his voice quiet and respectful, yet with just a hint of eagerness that suggested that he would listen to every word Ed utted with rapt attention.
Ed smiled. "Yes, but it was worth it. I've discovered a way of activating alchemy circles without the use of copious amounts of blood. Now there is nothing standing in the way of me inventing sustainable and clean steam powered vehicles. Soon smog will be a thing of the past and no one will ever have to suffer the way you have."
"Oh, Ed," gushed Heidrich, rushing forward and throwing his arms around the older man's neck. Ed grabbed his waist and pressed close. He seized Heidrichs mouth, and plied it with sucks and lips until the lips obediantly parted in complete surrender. Heidrich moaned into Ed's kisses.
The sound drew all his blood down into his hardening lengh. Ed groaned and pressed, rubbing his cock into Heidrich's groin. His hand strayed down his partners back to the his buttocks. Grabbing them firmly he pushed Heidrich even closer, driving his cock wantonly until the friction of his own clothes began to chafe.
"But what about dinner," said Heidrich.
"I'll warm it up later," Ed growled into Heidrichs short blond hair. He pulled and Heidrich obediently followed, through the double doors of their elegant apartment and into the masterbed room. The bed dominated the room, thick, soft as clouds, and covered in warm down blankets. Nothing was too good for Heidrich. Now that Edward's discoveries had made them rich, he planned to lavish the young man with everything he'd always wanted but never been able to afford. The glowing appreciation on his face were all the reward Ed needed.
Well that and his ripe body, stretched across said bed. Heidrich flung himself into postion eagerly, looking over his shoulder with large blue eyes filled with desire. He wiggled his pert buttocks enticingly. "I'm so horney," he murmured. "Please, I need you. Right. Now."
Ed's heart melted at the sight, even as his prick rose another notch towards the cieling. It took only a moment to oil himself up. Heidrichs groaned out his need. The moment Ed climbed between his legs, Heidrich was already pressing back, impaling himself before Ed even had a chance to prepare him. Ed bit his lip as the twin sensations of Heidrichs heat around his cock and his pleasured wimper in his ear mixed.
He grabbed Heidrichs hips, and began thrusting, admireing the way Heidrichs back muscles flexed and twitch, and the way his roommate clutched the bedcovers in his fists. "More, Ed, More, I love you Ed," Heidrich called out between breaths.
Who was Ed to deny him --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yeah, well the sex is good, Ed. I'm not so sure about all the wish fulfillment you through into the backstory." I pondered. "You know it's just missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it." I looked around the room at my muses for inspiration.
"Me raping Roy?" suggested Greed after the silence had stretched just a bit too long.
I snapped my fingers. "Yes! Thank you. It's missing the part where Roy get's raped."
"WHAT?" Roy cried out. "Now wait a minute -- how the heck would I get raped in a Ed/Heidrich fic? That's not even in our world."
"That has never stopped me before Roy." I leaned back and considered my options.
"You know what, woman, I think you are entirely too obsessed with me getting raped. Look you've already done it to me at least a dozen times. Once you took two chapters to describe it in detail. You said it yourself you get bored if somethng is done to death. Well, how about WAFF instead. Me. A pretty girl. Consensually. I know you can do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heidrich tightened the straps holding Roy to the machine. Pride swelled in him as he admired the simple structure that both bound the older man in a marvolously accessable position, and also held him entirely helpless. The transformation had not robbed him of all his living engineering skills, and if he lacked some of his earilier empathy, he really didn't miss it.
He heard a soft set of feet approaching him from behind, but he knew the gait well. He turned and smiled his lover. Edward didn't smile back. He rarely did since their deal with the Gate. Heidrich's life, encased and immortal as the embodiment of Pride, for Edwards conscience. Instead he stared at his former boss with a cold golden eyes.
"Please, Fullmetal -- Edward. I don't know why you are so angry at me, but whatever it is for, I appologize." Ed was right, pleading did give Roy's voice a cirtain alluring quality.
Ed wrapped his arms around Heidrich's waist, bending his head to press his forhead between Heidrich's shoulderblades. Heidrich could feel the soft fall of Ed's loose hair against his skin and groaned. He turned to look down at Roy, who had taken the moment to try to squirm out of the armature. It wasn't going to do him any good, but the noise of the chains clanking about was rather distracting, so he gave the man's left buttock a good hard swat.
"Settle down," Edward said. He let Heidrich go and walked over to Roy's face. He caressed the man's stubbly chin with long fingers. "You won't have to wait too much longer."
"Is he coming?" asked Hei, eagerly. He'd only met their master three times, but had been impressed each time with both his charm and innate manliness. Although he was a humunculus the same as Heidrich, the Earth born Sin still felt a deep respect for him.
"Any minute." Edward said. "We are to prepare his Concubine, and make him ready and eager. You did a great job strapping him down, now let me take over."
Heidrich smiled. "I love to watch you work."
To Roy's obvious consternation, Edward took his time, relishing every step of his duty. He ran clever, well oiled human hands down Roy's flanks, sweeping under his bowed torso to kneed and molest his chest, then moving southwrard, over the rippled muscles of the mans tense belly to his groin. There he teased the mans flesh with an almost malicious quality until Roy could do no more than whine and attempt to buck his hips. Finally he went for the kill, oiling the channel that would be ment for none but the Master himself.
Heidrich sighed. He would like to take Roy himself, right there and now. The look on Ed's face said that his partner wished to do the same, but the both knew better. In a few days their master would turn his eyes to his other concubines, and they would have free reign to do as they liked with this one. The armature could be reused then.
The door to the room opened up once more, taking all temption away from the two. In walked the Emporer of Xing, draped in silk and jewels. His purple slitted eyes took in the scene, and he smiled with indulgent pleasure.
"Ah, Roy," he said. "It is good to see that your country has ceded to my authorities. You will be happy to know that your sacrifice will keep my armies at bay from it's borders for a while."
"How -- how long," Roy grunted out. Even now the man was more concerned about the country he was protecting than his own future.
"Well," said Greedling. "I think for as long as you continue to amuse me."
Roy closed his eyes as the humunculus fonded his hair. Then he looked up at Heidrich and Ed. "You've done a good job. You may leave."
Heidrich breathed a sigh of dissapointment, but bowed to his master. Edward took his arm and lead them out, to the sound of Roy's pleasured, tortured screams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy looked nonplussed. "Pleasured, tortured screams -- does that even make sense?"
Ed leaned over, "Don't bother, look, she's being distracted by fandom_wank. She probably won't even write the fic."
Roy sighed. "Thank goodness for her short attention span."
THE END!
I wrote this ... er... "Fic" for Iron Drunk -- the rules: 1) Get drunk (I was only tispy for the first 200 words, after that, yeah, I'd call myself drunk) 2) Write porn. 3) No editing, no deletion.
So true to that, with no deletion or editing, and including the precious prose where my 4 year old daughter climbed on my lap and painstakingly tapped out her contribution to the story.
TITLE: Conversations with Muses.
RATING: NC-17
GENRE: Humor/smut/tardness
WARNING: Rape, toys, OOCness. Wishfulfillment. Self-insert.
I tapped my glass to call the meeting to order - actually, not so much a glass as it was a bottle, which was made out of glass, and therefore made the same tone. "Ahem. I realize that things have been a bit slow around here, but the problem remains, I gotta produce something. Or I'll lose my credentials, you see, and they'll boot me from the internets."
"And this would be a bad thing…" murmured Ed from the couch, where he lay looking exhausted and underfed despite the fact that I had both been easy on him and explicitly gave him a meal in the last fic.
Ok. Cookies. Cookies have calories. And carbohydrates. Probably some protien in there somewhere too. In the egg. Yeah. Anyway, it's a meal if I say so. >:EEEEE
"And that's exactly why we don't like being ficced," said Ed. "Do you always have to have that attitude with us? You want someone to be nice to you, you gotta be nice to them."
This is sooooo not true. At least it's ot true of Muses. So I ducttaped Ed's mouth so we could continue the meeting because obviously no one else was going to object to me. Ever. Right.
"Yes Ma'am" came the chorus back.
Damn straight.
phoenixzoomerlin
After the daughter was chased from my lap, the meeting continued.
"Okay, folks, I'm going to do what I've never let you do before. Pitch me some ideas. I'm going to let you decide what I'm going to write." I smiled indulgently at my assembled audience.
"You know," said Al in his slightly echoing, childish yet still highly pornable, armored voice. "Isn't this the normal job of muses? We tell you what to write, rather than you telling us what to do and then beating us when we complain?"
Two feet of duct tape later the meeting continued.
"Greed," I called out, because he's my pet. Playing favorites is normal in the ficcing department. "Give me a story line. Porn please."
The lean humunculus leaned forward, legs slightly spred, his fingers laced together bridging the gap between his knees. A slow smile unzipped his mouth, and he glanced at me conspiritorily over his small wire rimmed sunglasses. "It should start something like this I believe..."
~~~~~~~wavey lines of scene change ~~~~~~~~~~
Roy grunted around the thick rubber ball in his mouth. The dungeon was hellishly hot -- a wet steamy heat that made the air seem almost unbreatheably thick. His nostrils flared with every harsh breath and sweat dripped from his chin. As hard as he tried he could not free himself from the elaborate metal structure the humunculus had belted him to.
His breath was controlled not so much by the heat, or the ball in his mouth but a rhythmic and inescapable thrusting. Not the humunculus this time, but some machine he'd concocted, arranged to penetrate his well used asshole with the tireless efficiancy of a metronome.
Greed slowly drew a pattern across Roy's bare back with the clawed tip of his blackened hand. Then reached down to adjust the machine's pace. Roy grunted quicker.
"Do you love me," he whispered.
Roy nodded. He did. How could he not.
~~~~~~~~~~ wheee~~~~~~~~
"WHAT?" yelled Roy, glowering from the couch. "That's utterly rediculous. Completely OOC. And not even for me -- I don't think any man in that position would love someone who did that to them."
Greed blew gently across his fingernails. "What can I say, I'm the master of porn. Even you would swoon at me."
"That is utterly untrue," argued Roy. "Completely. Look I'm heterosexual, and deep in Velvet's mind she knows that, that's why she always has me justifying why the hell I'm sleeping with the male cast of this universe. I'm not going to swoon for some guy whose strapped me to a goddamn FUCKING MACHINE."
"Mmmm," I said. "You know Greed, that's an AWFULLY tempting scenerio, but I gotta go with Roy on this, I don't see him falling in love with you bacause you plow him so very well -- tell you what, why don't you work on that scenerio for a bit and get back to me."
I turned to Roy. "Okay, care to give me your version? I gotta say, you've got stiff competition."
Roy straightened up and began to speak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy sat in his office admiring his new digs. The leather chair was quite comfy, and the tapestries were very patriotic. Around him were several couches which could be put to good use. Would he be considered a cad if he had a woman waiting on each?
In any regard, the paperwork was done for the day, the war with Drachma was winding up. There was reason for celebration with each report his many generals sent across his desk. They were even considering erecting a monument to him in Central's largest park to commenmorate his almost clairvoyant accumen. A war won with almost no casualties -- it was almost unheard of.
Women found the idea of such a savvy leader indescribably attractive, and so he was not surprised at all to see the large double doors to his office gliding open and Riza stand, blushing on the threshold. Roy regarded her feminine curves, her large dewy eyes, the way her generous mounds of her breasts made the fabric of her shirt gape between the straining buttons.
"Hawkeye," said Roy gently. "This is unexpected. It's been almost three months since you quit the military. What has brought you back?"
Her eyes flash upward, meeting his for a second, before falling demurely to his rare imported Xingan rug. She turned around to close the doors behind her. Then looked over her shoulder as if seeking his approval.
"Roy," she said, her breasts heaving as if she had difficulty catching her breath. "I have realized that after all these years, I've been a fool."
"Never," Roy demurred, standing up and skirting his desk.
"I have always wanted to wait, until you were ready to pick just one woman to spend your life with. Then I planned to be that woman." Her eyes met his again, this time radiant with passion. 'Now I realize I was merely denying my self the pleasures you could have given me."
"Now you know better," Roy said. He close with her and held her. Her clothes seemed to dissolve under his fingers and his hands cupped her breasts, feeling their weight and warmth fill the palms of his hands. He breathed against her ear and nuzzled her neck, drawing small bits of her skin up into his mouth and sucking them sweetly. He heard her gasp in excitement, and felt her wanton hands runing up and down his powerful back and...
~~~~~~~~~~~ er ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Roy, Roy, Roy," I interupted. "You've been my muse how long?"
"Almost two years."
"And what have you learned?"
"I don't wnat to answer that question," said Roy suddenly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Roy. I don't do Royai."
"You can always start," he said. "Listen you've done just about every other pairing in the universe, why not Royai. She adores me. I ignore her. It's great. It's almost canon! What more could you want?" He raised his eyebrow at me in that condescending way that just demands duct tape.
"Well, more cocks," I said. "Specifically in you."
Ed was making muffled noises. It wasn't his usual screaming which I've learned to tune out. So, against my better judgement i removed the tape from his mouth. His eyes were firey -- I'd say molten but melting eyes is really Ambre's deparment and I don't want to trample on her territory. "My turn you, bitch. This time I get to say what you want."
"What I want," I replied amused. "This was supposed to be about what you want."
"You have no interest in writing what I want, but I can spin a story that you'll accept."
"I'm intrigued. Go for it."
Edward opened his mouth (no this isn't anything new.).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment smelled delicious. Ed lifted his chin and closed his eyes and set about catagorizing the various flavors of wonderful that were wafting about. That was steak, just a bit seared on the outside, but under the char was juicy, fresh meaty goodness, nearly red, and dripping with juice. That other smell, that would be garlic mashed potatoes, made with real butter. And there was the scent of apple pie, cooling in the window waiting for after the lull between satiating dinner, and the need for a bedtime snack.
Hei emerged from the kitchen a moment later, wearing nothing but an apron. His cheeks were flushed and healthy thanks to Edwards recent medical discoveries. Ed ran his eyes up and down his roommates form, admiring how strong and supple his muscles were, and how little the apron actually covered of his backside.
"Was work hard?" Heidrich asked, his voice quiet and respectful, yet with just a hint of eagerness that suggested that he would listen to every word Ed utted with rapt attention.
Ed smiled. "Yes, but it was worth it. I've discovered a way of activating alchemy circles without the use of copious amounts of blood. Now there is nothing standing in the way of me inventing sustainable and clean steam powered vehicles. Soon smog will be a thing of the past and no one will ever have to suffer the way you have."
"Oh, Ed," gushed Heidrich, rushing forward and throwing his arms around the older man's neck. Ed grabbed his waist and pressed close. He seized Heidrichs mouth, and plied it with sucks and lips until the lips obediantly parted in complete surrender. Heidrich moaned into Ed's kisses.
The sound drew all his blood down into his hardening lengh. Ed groaned and pressed, rubbing his cock into Heidrich's groin. His hand strayed down his partners back to the his buttocks. Grabbing them firmly he pushed Heidrich even closer, driving his cock wantonly until the friction of his own clothes began to chafe.
"But what about dinner," said Heidrich.
"I'll warm it up later," Ed growled into Heidrichs short blond hair. He pulled and Heidrich obediently followed, through the double doors of their elegant apartment and into the masterbed room. The bed dominated the room, thick, soft as clouds, and covered in warm down blankets. Nothing was too good for Heidrich. Now that Edward's discoveries had made them rich, he planned to lavish the young man with everything he'd always wanted but never been able to afford. The glowing appreciation on his face were all the reward Ed needed.
Well that and his ripe body, stretched across said bed. Heidrich flung himself into postion eagerly, looking over his shoulder with large blue eyes filled with desire. He wiggled his pert buttocks enticingly. "I'm so horney," he murmured. "Please, I need you. Right. Now."
Ed's heart melted at the sight, even as his prick rose another notch towards the cieling. It took only a moment to oil himself up. Heidrichs groaned out his need. The moment Ed climbed between his legs, Heidrich was already pressing back, impaling himself before Ed even had a chance to prepare him. Ed bit his lip as the twin sensations of Heidrichs heat around his cock and his pleasured wimper in his ear mixed.
He grabbed Heidrichs hips, and began thrusting, admireing the way Heidrichs back muscles flexed and twitch, and the way his roommate clutched the bedcovers in his fists. "More, Ed, More, I love you Ed," Heidrich called out between breaths.
Who was Ed to deny him --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yeah, well the sex is good, Ed. I'm not so sure about all the wish fulfillment you through into the backstory." I pondered. "You know it's just missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it." I looked around the room at my muses for inspiration.
"Me raping Roy?" suggested Greed after the silence had stretched just a bit too long.
I snapped my fingers. "Yes! Thank you. It's missing the part where Roy get's raped."
"WHAT?" Roy cried out. "Now wait a minute -- how the heck would I get raped in a Ed/Heidrich fic? That's not even in our world."
"That has never stopped me before Roy." I leaned back and considered my options.
"You know what, woman, I think you are entirely too obsessed with me getting raped. Look you've already done it to me at least a dozen times. Once you took two chapters to describe it in detail. You said it yourself you get bored if somethng is done to death. Well, how about WAFF instead. Me. A pretty girl. Consensually. I know you can do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heidrich tightened the straps holding Roy to the machine. Pride swelled in him as he admired the simple structure that both bound the older man in a marvolously accessable position, and also held him entirely helpless. The transformation had not robbed him of all his living engineering skills, and if he lacked some of his earilier empathy, he really didn't miss it.
He heard a soft set of feet approaching him from behind, but he knew the gait well. He turned and smiled his lover. Edward didn't smile back. He rarely did since their deal with the Gate. Heidrich's life, encased and immortal as the embodiment of Pride, for Edwards conscience. Instead he stared at his former boss with a cold golden eyes.
"Please, Fullmetal -- Edward. I don't know why you are so angry at me, but whatever it is for, I appologize." Ed was right, pleading did give Roy's voice a cirtain alluring quality.
Ed wrapped his arms around Heidrich's waist, bending his head to press his forhead between Heidrich's shoulderblades. Heidrich could feel the soft fall of Ed's loose hair against his skin and groaned. He turned to look down at Roy, who had taken the moment to try to squirm out of the armature. It wasn't going to do him any good, but the noise of the chains clanking about was rather distracting, so he gave the man's left buttock a good hard swat.
"Settle down," Edward said. He let Heidrich go and walked over to Roy's face. He caressed the man's stubbly chin with long fingers. "You won't have to wait too much longer."
"Is he coming?" asked Hei, eagerly. He'd only met their master three times, but had been impressed each time with both his charm and innate manliness. Although he was a humunculus the same as Heidrich, the Earth born Sin still felt a deep respect for him.
"Any minute." Edward said. "We are to prepare his Concubine, and make him ready and eager. You did a great job strapping him down, now let me take over."
Heidrich smiled. "I love to watch you work."
To Roy's obvious consternation, Edward took his time, relishing every step of his duty. He ran clever, well oiled human hands down Roy's flanks, sweeping under his bowed torso to kneed and molest his chest, then moving southwrard, over the rippled muscles of the mans tense belly to his groin. There he teased the mans flesh with an almost malicious quality until Roy could do no more than whine and attempt to buck his hips. Finally he went for the kill, oiling the channel that would be ment for none but the Master himself.
Heidrich sighed. He would like to take Roy himself, right there and now. The look on Ed's face said that his partner wished to do the same, but the both knew better. In a few days their master would turn his eyes to his other concubines, and they would have free reign to do as they liked with this one. The armature could be reused then.
The door to the room opened up once more, taking all temption away from the two. In walked the Emporer of Xing, draped in silk and jewels. His purple slitted eyes took in the scene, and he smiled with indulgent pleasure.
"Ah, Roy," he said. "It is good to see that your country has ceded to my authorities. You will be happy to know that your sacrifice will keep my armies at bay from it's borders for a while."
"How -- how long," Roy grunted out. Even now the man was more concerned about the country he was protecting than his own future.
"Well," said Greedling. "I think for as long as you continue to amuse me."
Roy closed his eyes as the humunculus fonded his hair. Then he looked up at Heidrich and Ed. "You've done a good job. You may leave."
Heidrich breathed a sigh of dissapointment, but bowed to his master. Edward took his arm and lead them out, to the sound of Roy's pleasured, tortured screams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy looked nonplussed. "Pleasured, tortured screams -- does that even make sense?"
Ed leaned over, "Don't bother, look, she's being distracted by fandom_wank. She probably won't even write the fic."
Roy sighed. "Thank goodness for her short attention span."
THE END!