Fics spam 3
TITLE: The Fanfic Complaints Dept.
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Warnings: Naively meta
A/N: I really debated putting this up on my LJ because this was written when I was just starting writing Fanfic. I was at this point still very, very new to the idea of Yaoi, and still reading all my fic off of the Pit. Tsu convinced me it had some worth still -- and maybe it is good for a guilty chuckle.
Lust took a seat in the waiting room at the Fanfic complaints department. For a few minutes she twiddled her number, flipping it over, but that quickly grew boring. She tried reading the magazines, but found that neither Homes and Gardens nor Parents really appealed to her. Living Simple amused her for only moments.
A few minutes later who should walk in but the Fullmetal Pipsqueak himself, looking like he was either going to throw a tantrum or murder someone. He carried a long handwritten list in his hands. He spared her a brief glance then sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the waiting room and glowered at the floor.
Lust stretched seductively in her seat, running her hands through her lustrous hair, and regarded the young Alchemist through half lidded eyes. "So what are you in here for?" she purred. "Bad characterization? Embarrassing crossover? No paragraphs?"
"Pairings."
"How odd, that's what I'm in here for, too." Lust leaned forward. "What a coincidence."
"So what is wrong with the way you are paired?"
"The problem is I'm not!" Lust puffed up angrily. "When I signed on for this gig, my agent said I'd be kick ass bad and beautiful and everyone would drool over me. And look at it, not only do I NOT get any action during the actual show, but I'm hardly ever given any action in the fanfics, either. That little blond trollop friend of yours, Winry sees more action than I do. Hell even your BROTHER gets more fanfic action than me and he's an underage piece of armor for most of the series. It honestly isn't fair."
Lust stood up and cross the space between them in a couple of steps and lifted him up by his collar. "So what is wrong with me????"
"I wish I knew - I'm an underage character who shows no sexual interest whatsoever during the show, and hell I'm paired with EVERYONE. And despite the fact that I'm tough, I got this nifty automail, and I fight more than any other character in the series, I seem to usually end up on the… er… receiving end of things."
Lust put him down.
"What's the list?"
"Authors I plan to grievously harm as soon as I can figure the alchemy to do it. And yes, they know who they are."
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Warnings: Naively meta
A/N: I really debated putting this up on my LJ because this was written when I was just starting writing Fanfic. I was at this point still very, very new to the idea of Yaoi, and still reading all my fic off of the Pit. Tsu convinced me it had some worth still -- and maybe it is good for a guilty chuckle.
Lust took a seat in the waiting room at the Fanfic complaints department. For a few minutes she twiddled her number, flipping it over, but that quickly grew boring. She tried reading the magazines, but found that neither Homes and Gardens nor Parents really appealed to her. Living Simple amused her for only moments.
A few minutes later who should walk in but the Fullmetal Pipsqueak himself, looking like he was either going to throw a tantrum or murder someone. He carried a long handwritten list in his hands. He spared her a brief glance then sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the waiting room and glowered at the floor.
Lust stretched seductively in her seat, running her hands through her lustrous hair, and regarded the young Alchemist through half lidded eyes. "So what are you in here for?" she purred. "Bad characterization? Embarrassing crossover? No paragraphs?"
"Pairings."
"How odd, that's what I'm in here for, too." Lust leaned forward. "What a coincidence."
"So what is wrong with the way you are paired?"
"The problem is I'm not!" Lust puffed up angrily. "When I signed on for this gig, my agent said I'd be kick ass bad and beautiful and everyone would drool over me. And look at it, not only do I NOT get any action during the actual show, but I'm hardly ever given any action in the fanfics, either. That little blond trollop friend of yours, Winry sees more action than I do. Hell even your BROTHER gets more fanfic action than me and he's an underage piece of armor for most of the series. It honestly isn't fair."
Lust stood up and cross the space between them in a couple of steps and lifted him up by his collar. "So what is wrong with me????"
"I wish I knew - I'm an underage character who shows no sexual interest whatsoever during the show, and hell I'm paired with EVERYONE. And despite the fact that I'm tough, I got this nifty automail, and I fight more than any other character in the series, I seem to usually end up on the… er… receiving end of things."
Lust put him down.
"What's the list?"
"Authors I plan to grievously harm as soon as I can figure the alchemy to do it. And yes, they know who they are."