Mixed Genres (PG-13) Ficlet
Because mikkeneko dared me to do it.
TITLE: Mixed Genres
RATING: NC-12
PAIRING: Angst/Humor
GENRE: Angst/Humor
WARNING: Angst/Humor ... dubious Con. Puns.
WORD COUNT: 700
Angst was never a happy child. Of all the major genres, he never felt comfortable playing with the others. Of course he did play with them. They insisted on it, even though it made him squirm and cry, because the other genres were bastards that way. Especially Horror. Playing with Horror was sure to send him to his room not only crying but also physically sore.
All Angst wanted to do was sit in his room and compose songs about autumn leaves and people leaving birthday cakes in the rain. He painted his room black to fit his mood, and pondered over why the universe wanted to bumfuck him so badly.
Then on Monday his turtle died.
Humor walked into his room (without knocking of course, because Humor was "all about surprise") while Angst was contemplating whether to bury the poor thing in the earth where it would slowly rot, its nutrients bursting forth into the ground, the final link in the cycle of life. Or maybe he should just flush the thing down the toilet, and let it sail into the vast, dark, and probably unpleasant unknown.
Humor opened the curtains. "Seriously, Angst, you need to lighten up. What's with the blackout curtains anyway, it's not like we are about to be bombed by the Nazis."
Humor always said things like that. Humor simply didn't understand. Humor tended to be, in Angst's opinion, pretty stupid at times, when it wasn't being obtuse, or completely missing the mark entirely.
"Go away and leave me alone," said Angst, sulkily. "I'm not in the mood."
"Not in the mood," repeated Humor. "Dude, you are always in the mood - the problem is the mood is dreary and depressing. Come on, we aren't twelve anymore, laugh it off."
"You are one to call me juvenile," said Angst. "You act barely potty trained half the time. Now excuse me while I go flush away my only real friend in the world." Angst's mind was brought back to his companion, now lying lifeless in his hands - its beautiful green shell mirroring the true peace it's fragile soul had finally achieved. Angst hoped Humor would get the hint and leave him alone. He felt the overwhelming need to cut himself again.
But Humor didn't go away. Humor kept chatting away as if Angst cared and they were having a real conversation. "Okay, I admit I occasionally fart around in the bathroom, but at least I'm having fun. You can't just hang around glum all the time - that's no kind of life. Can't we put aside our childishness for once and act like grown-ups."
Angst felt a growing worry. Adult!Humor was in many ways even more off putting than Stupid!Humor. "I like myself the way I am now."
"What I'm saying," said Humor, "Is that laughter really helps. Let me inject a little fun into your sad pathetic life. You'll thank me."
Angst leapt off the bed, clutching his dead turtle close to his thudding heart. "I don't need you injecting anything into me."
He glanced towards the bathroom. If he could make it there and lock himself in, Humor would go away after a while. If Humor had a failing, it's that he couldn't wait. If anything upset his timing, he was just as likely to get bored and wander off. All Angst had to do was drag things out.
But Humor was turning physical, which meant he was almost as bad as Horror. Angst would be lucky to escape the situation without falling flat on his face or getting a kick to the groin. Humor had been known to send people to the hospital when he got in this mood.
"Listen," he said. "You are really bringing the entire family down with your dark cloud of impending doom. The others asked me to do something about your attitude. If you'd just mix it up with me, I'm sure everyone would be happier. But if I fail here, maybe our sister can help you see the light."
Sister? Oh no, not -
As if on cue Smut opened the door. "Surprise!" she said. "Hey guess what's gonna happen next!" But to Angst, it was no mystery.
Sure enough, once again, the universe handed Angst lemons.
TITLE: Mixed Genres
RATING: NC-12
PAIRING: Angst/Humor
GENRE: Angst/Humor
WARNING: Angst/Humor ... dubious Con. Puns.
WORD COUNT: 700
Angst was never a happy child. Of all the major genres, he never felt comfortable playing with the others. Of course he did play with them. They insisted on it, even though it made him squirm and cry, because the other genres were bastards that way. Especially Horror. Playing with Horror was sure to send him to his room not only crying but also physically sore.
All Angst wanted to do was sit in his room and compose songs about autumn leaves and people leaving birthday cakes in the rain. He painted his room black to fit his mood, and pondered over why the universe wanted to bumfuck him so badly.
Then on Monday his turtle died.
Humor walked into his room (without knocking of course, because Humor was "all about surprise") while Angst was contemplating whether to bury the poor thing in the earth where it would slowly rot, its nutrients bursting forth into the ground, the final link in the cycle of life. Or maybe he should just flush the thing down the toilet, and let it sail into the vast, dark, and probably unpleasant unknown.
Humor opened the curtains. "Seriously, Angst, you need to lighten up. What's with the blackout curtains anyway, it's not like we are about to be bombed by the Nazis."
Humor always said things like that. Humor simply didn't understand. Humor tended to be, in Angst's opinion, pretty stupid at times, when it wasn't being obtuse, or completely missing the mark entirely.
"Go away and leave me alone," said Angst, sulkily. "I'm not in the mood."
"Not in the mood," repeated Humor. "Dude, you are always in the mood - the problem is the mood is dreary and depressing. Come on, we aren't twelve anymore, laugh it off."
"You are one to call me juvenile," said Angst. "You act barely potty trained half the time. Now excuse me while I go flush away my only real friend in the world." Angst's mind was brought back to his companion, now lying lifeless in his hands - its beautiful green shell mirroring the true peace it's fragile soul had finally achieved. Angst hoped Humor would get the hint and leave him alone. He felt the overwhelming need to cut himself again.
But Humor didn't go away. Humor kept chatting away as if Angst cared and they were having a real conversation. "Okay, I admit I occasionally fart around in the bathroom, but at least I'm having fun. You can't just hang around glum all the time - that's no kind of life. Can't we put aside our childishness for once and act like grown-ups."
Angst felt a growing worry. Adult!Humor was in many ways even more off putting than Stupid!Humor. "I like myself the way I am now."
"What I'm saying," said Humor, "Is that laughter really helps. Let me inject a little fun into your sad pathetic life. You'll thank me."
Angst leapt off the bed, clutching his dead turtle close to his thudding heart. "I don't need you injecting anything into me."
He glanced towards the bathroom. If he could make it there and lock himself in, Humor would go away after a while. If Humor had a failing, it's that he couldn't wait. If anything upset his timing, he was just as likely to get bored and wander off. All Angst had to do was drag things out.
But Humor was turning physical, which meant he was almost as bad as Horror. Angst would be lucky to escape the situation without falling flat on his face or getting a kick to the groin. Humor had been known to send people to the hospital when he got in this mood.
"Listen," he said. "You are really bringing the entire family down with your dark cloud of impending doom. The others asked me to do something about your attitude. If you'd just mix it up with me, I'm sure everyone would be happier. But if I fail here, maybe our sister can help you see the light."
Sister? Oh no, not -
As if on cue Smut opened the door. "Surprise!" she said. "Hey guess what's gonna happen next!" But to Angst, it was no mystery.
Sure enough, once again, the universe handed Angst lemons.