Undesirable: Chapter 17
TITLE: Undesirable (A vampire novel)
RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY: In the process of fleeing the vampires, George and Wally trip their way into another plot twist.
Word Count: 6799
Chapter 17
"Are you okay?" Wally asked. He turned his head towards me for half a second, then returned his eyes to the road. The worry remained etched on his face, drawing the corners of his lips down and furrowing his brow.
That's when I realized I was making a weird, hybrid laugh-sob that was both and neither. It didn't sound like I was happy. Deranged perhaps, but not happy. I could see how that would scare him. Hell, it was kinda scaring me.
I managed to calm down long enough to tell him, "No," which was truthful, but also not actually what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was "I'm so un-fucking-believably happy I don't feel like committing suicide anymore." But in retrospect that probably wouldn't have reassured Wally either. In fact there was pretty much nothing I could honestly say about my condition that would make him any less unhappy.
So I just stared at him and thought, my god, what the hell happened to us. Right now Wally and I should be sitting in the living room playing his Xbox. Then sometime in the mid afternoon we'd start cleaning the house so that when Wally's slovenly nerd friends came over to play GURPS they might actually consider putting their left over Mountain Dew cans in the recycling rather than assuming they belonged on the floor. Trust me this is a problem with that crowd.
I buried my face in my hands for a moment. Christ, the whole last week was completely unreal. It was hard to believe it had even happened. Now I was with Wally again, surrounded by the real world, with the open road ahead of me, it really felt like it should be all over and I aught to feel safe. But that was just an illusion. The nightmare had just taken on a new phase. This was that chase dream that everyone gets, where the monster is just behind you and you don't dare to look back lest you trip.
What I really needed to do was to wake up.
Wally's face was squinched up in a way I really didn't like. Like he was on the verge of panic and he didn't know what the fuck to do about the situation. He was waiting for me to take charge. I know to an outsider that seems to be ass-backwards. I mean, with that husky build Wally looks like he can break me with two fingers, but, thing is, Wally is naturally shy and pessimistic and I'm naturally not. So whenever we got to doing something out of the normal rut, it's always been my job to reassure Wally that it's not going to end in massive failure. This had to be the biggest adventure of his life, it certainly was of mine, and I needed to pull it together for him, because as unfair as this all was to me, at least I had some say in the mess. Wally was a completely unwitting bystander.
"I don't suppose this car has permission to leave the city?" I asked, trying to get us off the subject of how fucked in the head I was and on to something practical. Actually, that was an excellent question. Our options were a bit tough if we ran the checkpoint without having a happy transponder code to give it.
Wally's frown deepened, but he said, "It should. It's in Lady Darlene's name. I'm pretty sure she doesn't need permission to travel."
"Yeah, who patrons the patrons."
We laughed, despite that not being at all witty or clever. The tension between us eased a little, so, stupid me, I had to go and ratchet it back up again.
"I'm so sorry about what happened to Darlene," I said. "If I'd known…"
"Not your fault," said Wally. It was exactly what Claudia had said to me - same inflection and everything. Christ, that was creepy. "Don't worry about that. I'm just sorry that I wasn't able to get a hold of Lord Chauncey for you. Lady Darlene ordered me not to. She didn't want him to know until she had you in hand and could make it up to him."
"Oh, that's totally nothing. I emailed him myself, not that it did any good."
I'm not sure Wally heard me. "You know, we weren't being stupid back there, coming to you. We were tricked. Lady Nadette led us on. Man, Geo, I set up their video conference, and it really seemed like Nadette wanted to help us - she was sympathetic and everything, said it would be all done hush, hush and how she understood how Darlene would need to save face. Then when we got there, there was this huge party and everyone knew and…"
His voice trailed off and for a moment we just stood staring unseeing at the road remembering that awful moment.
"Nadette is a hateful, hateful bitch," I said. That about summed it up.
"I guess we can try contact Lord Chauncey now. I mean, I don't think Darlene's going to object any -" he stopped talking mid word. I winced. Darlene's death was hitting him a lot harder than he wanted to let on. "Maybe he'll take me in, too, we can have the same patron. That would be convenient."
"I don't want any patron," I said firmly. "Been there, done that, never want to do it again."
Wally looked at me like I'd said I didn't want to be subject to gravity. "Good luck with that."
Time to let him in on the Plan.
"Listen Wally, there's got to be some kind of resistance movement out there. I just can't believe that I'm the only one who isn't hunky dory about being enslaved as a species. There are thousands of old military bases out there, I'm sure there are stashes of weapons. Vestelar said that Vampires aren't immortal. And hell we just saw it with our own eyes. Those vampires took Darlene apart with their fucking hands… so … so," I paused and clawed at thoughts. "Maybe Vestalar was wrong. Maybe a human can take down a vampire. It seems to me that maybe all we need to do is to pump enough bullets into one and down they go. "
Wally took his eyes from the road for over a second to give me the most shocked incredulous look he could. "Are you seriously suggesting you and I fight vampires?"
"Hell yes!" I said, pounding my fist against the armrest for emphasis. "Let's go all Van Helsing on their asses."
Wally's mouth dropped. I could see the gold crown on his back tooth. "Geo -- did you sleep through history class or something? Dude, they took over military bases in 1982. Military fucking bases, full of tanks and bazookas. You think you and I can take one down with a fucking rifle?"
I waved that off. "The more I think of it, the more it's seems to me that maybe we lost the Coup due to a fluke. After all, we were trying to use a magical solution- like stakes and sunlight - when what we really needed was a mundane one." My heart sped up. "They had surprise on their side back then. No one knew that vampires existed, no one knew about their mind powers. And we had all these wrong notions about their weaknesses. We know better now."
That earned a skeptical look from Wally.
"And besides," I went on. "They didn't fight their way onto the military base. They simply walked in, took over the general's mind, and ordered their men to surrender their weapons. Those military guys were trained to take orders no questions asked. It took just a bit too long to figure out what was going down. When they caught on and fought back, the vampires simply clouded their minds and had them shooting each other. But the point is, the point is," I repeated, waiting for my brain to catch up to my mouth, "The point is, Wally, that we don't know how close we came to winning back then. If the vampires hadn't been so precisely coordinated in their attack, it might have failed. They could have gotten lucky."
"You want to go to war with the vampires," repeated Wally. "After the vampires freed us from war. Doesn't that strike you as slightly ironic?"
It was my turn to shake my head with skepticism. "Freed us at what price, Wally?" I sat back on the leather seat and stared sightlessly at the back of the semi ahead of us. "They tax the shit out of us, and they treat people like you and me like property. No representation. We said fuck no to that over 200 years ago - and that's what we need to do again. A new fucking Declaration of Independence for the whole world."
To my ears it sounded sweet, but Wally actually slapped his face. "Don't you get it? You and me wouldn't even exist if they hadn't taken over. We were on the brink of a nuclear war. We'd all be dead and this world would be a hot radioactive cider. We take them out we will just go back to destroying ourselves. It's our nature."
"That's what the Vampires say," I countered. "We don't know that. Just because we had the option of destroying the world doesn't mean that we were going to do so. We could have pushed that nuclear Armageddon button many times before the Vamps took over, but we didn't. So who is to say, we might not have ever pressed that button. We might have eventually figured it out on our own that nuclear escalation was not the way to go. "
"Yeah, how likely is that." Wally shook his head, defeated. "We suck when it comes to keeping our excesses in check. As a species, we have no self-control. We need them."
I frowned. "That's total crap, Wally. As a species, we had a bad moment, but we don't need Vampires to keep us in line anymore. Maybe our parents' generation owed them their lives, but you and I weren't even born when the Coup took place. Why do we have to pay because our ancestors were such incredible fucktards that they put their ideology above survival."
Wally said nothing for a minute. "So how do we find this fabled Resistance?"
Yeah, that's a good question and I was just too tired to even contemplate the answer. "Give me a few hours," I said. "I just got away. For now, let's just get out of this city and find some place to crash."
"Okay, not pushing. Plenty of time to arrange a revolution."
Well if that wasn't passive aggressive... but we were both tired. Maybe we needed to just shut up and enjoy our freedom for a bit.
We were getting close to the edge of the city, I could tell. We were running out of industrial park. On our right we passed the stadium, flying its banners out over a huge stretch of empty parking lot. A minute later the city opened up to our right and we saw the backside of the Airport stretching for miles. I thought I could detect a whiff of aviation fuel in the air sucked in by the Limo's ducts. And that was that. Suddenly the last of the warehouses fell away and there was nothing out my window but a modest strip of institutional greenscaping leading up to a ten foot, barb-wire topped wall. The edge of the Protectorate. We had to be coming to the check point soon.
I felt my stomach harden up and I gripped the edge of the leather seat tightly. My seatbelt felt like a confining strap, holding me in place. I flashed back on Gregory's embrace at the party - a bit of a post-traumatic hiccup. Claustrophobia made my skin crawl and I felt a near unbearable urge to unfasten myself.
My awareness of my surroundings notched up with my fear. The traffic on the road had thinned considerably in the last mile, and what was left consisted almost entirely of semis and work vans. The other "passenger" vehicle I saw was an F-350 extended cab, which, from the mud splashed fender, looked like it belonged in the countryside. I felt a prickle of my hair on the back of my neck as I realized that our Lincoln Town Car looked obvious and wrong. Who takes a ride in the countryside in a limousine?
"Don't panic," said Wally, in a low, intense voice. He eased off the gas and the Limo slid down from five miles above the speed limit to one mile below. Swallowing I looked around, to see what had spooked him. My eyes caught sight of something in the side view mirror. Oh, fuck. Behind us, and a lane over was a cop car, lights dark, clipping along just a bit faster than traffic.
I felt the blood drain from my face. They were going to pull us over. We were going to be caught. I just knew it.
The police cruiser edged up to our side. I resisted an urge to look at it. Cops know when someone starts acting guilty there's probably a good reason for it. I put a hand up to the side of my face - not really covering it, just sort of casual, like I was leaning on the door. Had Nadette updated the photo on my Bloodtrust account yet - or were my pursuers still using that picture of a pimply, shaggy haired 18 year old? Damn it, why hadn't I hidden in the back of the limo, where no one could just casually look over and spot me.
The cruiser pulled slowly ahead, then cut in front of us. It's lights suddenly turned on and I heard the brief wail of its siren. Wally's normally pale skin turned positively ashen. He slowed down even more, to a forty mile an hour crawl. I gripped my seat with both hands and clenched my jaw. Up ahead, the semis started pulling off to the side of the road. And then a second police cruiser blew past us, sirens on.
The checkpoint was just ahead. There was no way to get off this road before we hit it. The only thing we could do was to not attract any more attention than our obvious weirdness would merit. And pray.
The two cop cars abruptly slowed down and pulled into the dusty turn around just in front of the Check Gate. Wally wasn't the only driver who'd slowed to a creep to watch what the cops did. The two cruisers rumbled down the turn off, then turned around and faced themselves back up towards the highway. Their lights spun in dizzying red and blue sweeps, but their sirens cut out. I could do nothing but stare at them. Then, I felt a shadow cross my face and realized we'd just passed under the metal arch that contained all the cameras and transponder equipment. The sign just beyond read in large chunky letters: Now Leaving Kansas City Protectorate.
Now came the real test. If this limo didn't have authorization to leave the city, those cop cars would know it in a few seconds. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that they were after us, and here we were cruising in a limo that screamed "vampire". How long would it take those cops to put two and two together?
I looked in the mirror, waiting for it. Waiting for it.
I couldn't wait for it. I had to do something. Panic rose in me like some wild thing clawing at my chest. We had to get off the fucking road. We had to lay low.
There was an off ramp ahead. "Take that," I said to Wally impulsively.
A look of doubt crossed his face, but he obeyed me, like this were any old trip. He pulled into the right lane, then slowed and peeled off. The problem with my plan immediately reared its head. There was nothing but flat and rows of young crops out this way. We could still see the highway and the cop cars even as we drove out in this random direction.
Hope came in the form of a strand of trees. "Turn left," I said. Wally complied and we found ourselves in a small orphaned subdivision outside of city limits. It was probably a hold over from before the vampires took over. Vampires highly discouraged urban sprawl, since it meant more travel in and out of protectorates, but some was inevitable.
Without my direction, Wally continued to meander down the country lanes. We passed out of that subdivision and into actual farmland. For the next hour we traveled in an artfully random fashion, throwing off whatever possible pursuit we thought had. Or perhaps just making sure that everyone in the area had a chance to remark on the obviously horribly lost city-folk.
It was a low-gas light that brought our heads out of the clouds long enough to get practical. I ended up google-earthing us on Wally's Iphone to figure out where the hell we were, and five minutes later we were back on I-29 a scant 12 miles North of where we left it, much to our chagrin. In Wally's words, we'd "rolled a critical failure" on our common sense.
I slid down in my seat - half expecting to see cops setting up a roadblock ahead. Damn it - if we'd just gone straight we'd be in Nebraska by now. Jeffrey would not be pleased with us.
In all honestly, we should have been caught, but sometimes God hands the good guys a favor. Turned out that while Wally and I were pulling a boner, frittering away precious time in the countryside, Nadette had pulled an even bigger one back at her compound. I didn't find out until much, much later how big the break Wally and I were given that morning, but it was huge. We really didn't need to worry about those scary cops after all.
No one bothered to tell them what they were looking for.
Yes. Really. The cops had apparently been ordered to monitor the checkpoints, but no one gave them any indication what they were looking for or how to proceed. Any plea for instruction was met by contradictions and confusion, as Nadette's security and clerks spread the message of my disappearance with all the clarity of a child's game of Telephone. Nadette meanwhile was hampered by her twelve tired and very pissed off guests. And apparently my running away had thrown such a monkey wrench into her well oiled machine it took her literally hours to email a photograph of me out to the police who were supposedly looking for me. Needless to say, by the time they did get their act together, the police were feeling quite a bit less like this was their problem.
Of course, we didn't know that at the time, which really made pulling into the self-serve pump at Texaco gas station into a harrowing event. It seemed to our paranoid minds entirely likely that those cameras set up pointed at our car was somehow feeding information about us to some Big Brother agency, and that within minutes some computer would spit our whereabouts out to Nadette. I slouched down in my seat and put the hood of my windbreaker up and pretended to sleep while Wally got out and shoved his debit card into the machine to fill up the limo's enormous tank.
It wasn't fun, but in retrospect it was pretty funny, in sort of the way throwing up on Darlene's arm had been. I could tell we were bumbling about like amateurs. I had a strange meta moment where I realized that one day I'd be telling this story at dinner parties. The question was would the party-goers be our gamer buddies or would they be someone's overdressed, undereducated harem.
We really had to work harder at this "not getting caught" thing.
Wally climbed back into the car and turned the key in the engine. I relaxed as soon as we'd put the gas station awning behind us and were back on I29 yet again. The ride was butter smooth and eerily quiet, as one would expect from a limo built from a Town Car. It slid up to speed with ease and then took the freeway like it was staying still.
My adrenaline-high faded and I began to feel sleep creeping up around the corners of my dry eyes. In an attempt to keep myself awake, I began to take off my windbreaker with the idea of letting the cold from the air conditioner perk me up. My sleeve caught on something as I started undressing. I yanked a little and it came free, and at the same time I felt something pinch my arm.
The damn handcuffs. I'd actually forgotten about them. With my coat off they looked incredibly obvious. I frowned. There was no way I could go anywhere public with these on and not create some kind of stir. But I couldn't take them off either. The day was really beginning to warm up and wearing a coat made me look almost as suspicious as not.
"Ah, Wally." I shook my wrists at him. "I know it's not my birthday, but could you buy me a hack saw?"
"What? Oh - OH!" His eyes widened.
We ended up pulling off to the side of the road on some dinky side street in St. Josephs where I jumped into the back of the limo. I was immediately plunged into darkness, despite it being well past nine am on a bright, cloudlessly cheery late spring morning. The cabin smelled warmly of leather and plastic. I reached up and felt around and found the dome light to turn it on. While Wally started up the car and took us to look for a hardware store, I examined the back. Apparently vampires like to keep these things pretty simple - a single bench facing forward, a chair facing backwards and a bank of cherry wood cabinetry. Cup holders, a TV, music player and a small fridge that was very disappointingly empty. My stomach grumbled. With the exception of a plate of hors d'oeuvres, I hadn't eaten anything since Thursday.
Sighing, I lay back across the bench. It was enticingly comfortable and suddenly it seemed like the weariness of the day had come crashing down on me. My eyes drifted closed.
The door opened a moment later, and I jerked to sitting with a shock. My hand went over my heart when I saw it was just Wally leaning in. Swallowing I rubbed my eyes. Then wiped my hands over my cheeks to try to rid myself of the numb-drunk feeling of interrupted sleep. I couldn't even remember passing out, but apparently I had gone out like a light.
Wally climbed into the facing chair and shut the door on us. He was carrying a number of packages. "Sorry it took me so long," he said not looking at me. Instead he put the bags on the ground between his legs.
"But you got the saw?" I asked. I felt a silly worry that the hardware store we'd picked wouldn't have one.
Wally nodded and pulled an object from the largest of his bags. "Here." He pulled a ten inch rubber handled blade saw. God it was big. And toothy.
Um.
See, thing is, a using hack saw to remove a pair of metal cuffs from your wrists sounds like an awfully good idea in theory, but faced with the prospect of those nasty serrations slipping on the metal and hitting my wrists… er… yeah. I looked at the tool with roughly the same expression I might have if he'd pulled a cobra out of that brown plastic bag.
Wally also looked at the saw doubtfully. Our eyes met briefly, then without a word he laid it on top of the cabinetry and pulled another tool from the same bag.
"I also got one of these." He pulled out a bolt cutter. "I think this might be a bit safer."
"Yeah," I said with relief. I picked up the bolt cutter and tried to one handedly maneuver it around the left cuff. My effort was somewhat comical and it soon became clear that it wasn't really the ideal tool for the job either. It was going to take a lot of strength to snip this off. Hopefully my wrist wouldn't snap in the process.
"But before you do that - I got inspired," said Wally suddenly. "So let's see if this might work." He reached into out a second bag and brought out a package and tossed it into my lap. "I noticed an Adult Entertainment shop down the street."
I picked up the cardboard box. It was small and square and had a drawing of a pair of handcuffs on it. For a brief moment I thought Wally was crazy - the problem wasn't that I needed more tying up after all. Then I got it. Ohhhhh! Right!
"You are a fucking genius, Wally." I slid out the cuffs, out of their little box and tossed them offhandedly to the floor. Then I tapped the end and dropped the important part out on my lap: a pair of keys wrapped in a little sleeve of plastic. "Thank god these things are standardized." I took one of the pair of keys that came with the cuffs and slid it into the lock on my cuffs.
They opened like a charm. "Perfect."
"Okay, so that's done," said Wally, nodding. "Now, I don't know about you but I'm starving."
Wally opened the third bag, and reached in. "I stopped by the grocery store and got us some sodas and chips. Grapes. Grapes are good road food."
I reached in and grabbed a handful of grapes. They were tart, and sweet and cold - perfect. Exactly what my aching body craved.
"And I got bandages, ointment and ibuprophen."
My eyes teared up in gratitude. "Man you are a lifesaver. Literally."
"Yeah I know. You owe me." Wally grinned. "Gonna collect, you know."
"Anything you want." I lifted my shirt and turned to show my back to him. "My kidney is yours."
"Ew." Wally pulled back and made a face. Then his eyes narrowed predatorily. "I was thinking more along the lines of say being our Healer for the Saturday game."
I gaped and almost launched a protest, but realized that Wally had me over a barrel. He'd been trying to sucker me into giving rollplaying a try the entire time I've known him. For this? Sure, I'd do it. "Okay, I will roll up a GURPS character for your retarded game. But I warn you, I will be terrible at this."
"You don't actually roll up a character in GURPS - it's a point based system."
Ah yes, nothing says a great afternoon of fun like accounting. I have watched Wally while away the prime dating hours of the week, pouring over books and tables and arguing if a sword could do 2D - 4 damage or 4D +3. Playing make believe with Wally's friends came with more math than my actual job. And it was slow. I'd witnessed a "3 minute battle" take 7 hours to play out and you know there is just something wrong going on when that's the case.
But for this? Yeah, I'm willing to do it.
"If that's what you want, call me Geo the Healer." I smiled at him and his face lit up with delight. Evidently it was.
It could have been a lot worse. He could have asked for money. Wally regretfully confirmed my suspicions that I was out of a job. In fact, my boss had fired me without severance the moment he found out I was white, saying I'd violated my contract by putting false information on my resume. My undesirable status hadn't been false when I put it there, but, you know, whatever. He always was a bit of an ass. Still it meant that I had no income coming in and precious little left in my bank account. And I was out my most expensive clothes, my phone and my computer. All in all, having the attention of Jeffrey and his kind was turning out to be extremely expensive.
Getting home was more than likely to leave both me and Wally broke.
Ten minutes later we were in considerably better spirits, with food in our stomachs, and a plan in place. The goal was Omaha, Nebraska, to find a place to sleep for the night. It would be calling it in early, but Wally hadn't had much sleep and I'd had basically none and the risk of making stupid decisions was bigger than the risk of being too close to epicenter of the search. Omaha was a big city with it's own collection of vampires and perhaps the rivalry between them and Kansas City would hamper the search. Meanwhile Wally and I could hide among the tourists, and the crazy vehicle we were using would come a bit closer to fitting in.
But Omaha was also a two hour drive and my bladder wasn't infinite in capacity. So Wally pulled into a freeway rest stop about 10 miles south of Hamburg. It was a cheerful little stop, with a ton of flowers and a number of round picnic tables each with it's own fancy concrete pavilion. The Lincoln was too long for the car parking, so Wally pulled into the Truck lot and we walked quickly to the bathrooms.
Habit had me stepping up to the urinals without thinking. Mid zip I had a shuddery revelation and my cheeks turned red. Without looking at Wally, who'd set himself up (as per decorum) a few slots down, I went to one of the stalls and did my business the clumsy way I had to.
I had to get out of this chastity belt. Had to. Even now I could feel the need that had been built up earlier rising to the fore, and it was enough to make me want to cry.
God, if things couldn't get more embarrassing. I stepped out of the stall, wincing because my cock, even without me thinking dirty thoughts, was trying really had to grow. Wally was at the sink washing his hands and I just couldn't say anything to him about my problem. Even for as good a friends as we were, this was TMI.
Then a cunning plan formed in the shape of a little white painted vending machine attached to the wall tiles in the corner of the room. Maybe I could get the chastity belt off myself. After all this was a freaking sex toy, not a serious piece of equipment.
I dwaddled at the sink while Wally dried his hands and stepped out of the restroom, going back to the car. I wandered over to the ubiquitous condom vending machine that seemed to be a staple part of every public restroom. Above the white painted box offering three different types of condoms and two varieties of lube was an ironic sign saying, "Sexual activity is prohibited in these facilities." I don't think they were even trying to enforce that, though what with all the perfectly legal sex clubs only a real loser would resort to hooking up in a public restroom.
As luck would have it, I had two quarters sitting in the change pouch of my wallet. I put these into the vending machine and pressed the button for the unflavored lube. In a way this would be kind of like taking a ring off a swollen finger. Only instead of ring, put plastic band, and instead of finger, substitute balls. I retreated into a bathroom stall and broke the tab on the packet of lube, running the slick substance generously over my sack and slipping my finger around the chastity band. Then, ever so carefully, I tugged my scrotum out the other side, maneuvering a single testicle through the ring.
I hissed. I could do this. I could. It would just be a momentary pinch, then it would be done. The second ball would be easier. I just had to man up and actually do it. Gritted my teeth, I gave it one last solid tug, while simultaneously pushing the ball under the band with the other hand.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW, OW, OW! My testicle leapt up the pain scale from a manly, I-can-tough-this-through 5 to a terrifying, oh-god-I'm-a-eunuch-now 11. Coherent thought could not form. With dots forming in front of my eyes, I managed to get my head together enough to pull my abused testicle out again. Then I collapsed on the toilet, cupping myself and crying like a child.
"Are you okay?" Wally asked.
I hadn't even heard him come in the bathroom. Oh shit. I opened my mouth to speak but the pain was too intense and I couldn't do anything but choke.
"Geo?" Wally tapped on my door. "Geo! You okay? Is something wrong with you?"
"…okay," I managed to whisper through a throat so tight I couldn't even swallow.
"Geo, what's wrong. Are you hurt? Are you having some attack?"
The throbbing started to subside to a barely tolerable level and the reality came crashing in on me that the only way I was getting out of this chastity belt was with tools. "Could you get the bolt cutter from the car?" I asked. My voice squeaked.
"Geo, what's wrong? You are scaring me."
I put my hand on my face. It felt boiling hot and I knew I was flushing scarlet. "I'm embarrassed."
"Let me in. What's wrong."
Because I knew I wasn't going to get any cooperation out of him until he knew what was up, I slid the latch to the stall open. Wally opened the door quickly and stood over me, staring down at my crotch.
I was almost too ashamed to look up.
"What the fuck?" Wally's voice was bewildered. "What is -"
"A chastity belt."
"You are shitting me. How does it work?" Well at least he wasn't laughing. He seemed to be fascinated by it.
"I can't get an erection in it. I can't masturbate."
"You got the key?"
I leveled my most wearied look at his oh-so-innocent blue eyes. "Do you really think Nadette would give me the key to my chastity belt?"
"Oh - OH!" And it was like Wally had suddenly solved a puzzle. "You want to get out of it!"
I held the no shit Sherlock comment behind gritted teeth. "Can you get those bolt cutters?"
Wally raced out the door and was back in thirty seconds with the bolt cutters. He latched us in then turned around.
"Here," he said, "Let me, I think I got a better angle on this." With that he sank down on his knees between my legs and worked the thick head of the cutter into position around the hasp of the lock.
It wasn't as easy as it looked. The lock was small but it was solid and made of a tough alloy. Wally had to be very careful both positioning the bolt cutters and with how much pressure he used. Twice he leaned too hard and yanked my genitals causing me to stifle a scream behind my arm.
We took a breather with the lock most of the way snipped through. I laid my damp hands on his shoulders and offered up the praise all drunk and truly miserable people do. "God, you really love me, man."
"I do," said Wally, grinning.
"Not everyone would do this."
"Oh, I don't know about that," shrugged Wally, modestly, hefting the bolt cutters back into position.
"You know what this looks like," I said dimly realizing our relative and rather compromising positions were visible under the stall door.
"Like I'm giving you a blowjob in a public toilet."
"Oh, Wally, man, I love you so much for this. I really do. This is so beyond friendship. I'll give you anything you want for this - for sure."
In answer Wally squeezed on the bolt cutters. It felt for just a moment like he was going to rip my penis off, then the damn lock broke. With deft fingers, Wally twisted the loop in one direction and the body of the lock in another, then threaded it out. I grabbed the sheath and yanked that horrible, evil, piss yellow piece of plastic off my cock.
It felt soooo good. So freeing.
And I was so hard. Despite the rough treatment, despite the chafing, my cock didn't care. It felt full and sensitive and Wally's face hovering over it looked frankly hot. Wally gave my erection a funny look. Then he met my eyes for just the shortest moments and I saw guilt and anger and something more complex.
"Aw man, I'm sorry." I slid back. "They teased me for hours - Wally. I just need to come really bad-"
Wally leaned forward and took my cock in his mouth, giving the head a long slow, powerful suck.
All my words dried up in my throat. All my thoughts cut out. I just stared at him and felt what he was doing. His mouth was hot, and powerful, and suddenly his hands were on either hip steadying me. I could do nothing but stare in utter amazement as those amazing lips of his slid down, down, down the shaft, reaching the half way point before going up again. Then repeating.
I came.
My orgasm was so sudden it surprised me. It wasn't just a small thing centered in my penis, it seemed to push all the way down the shaft, through my balls and belly and up into my chest. I let out a little cry at the sheer intensity of it, each peak seemed to slam me about. "Ah," I gasped, as I kept ejaculating.
And Wally just took it. His eyes were closed and he seemed almost zen-like with contentment. He swallowed and swallowed, and I could see my spunk in corners of his lips, and knew all that pent up cum was more than a mouth full. Somehow he managed to swallow it all down. Hell, that was unbelievably hot. But even hotter was the look of rapture he had as his eyes slowly opened. It was as if he were the one who had finally gotten off after waiting so long.
I felt this blanket of languid contentment fall over me - so deep and soft and wonderful it seemed like I could never feel bad about anything ever again. My whole body relaxed and all my pains eased away with the euphoria.
"Now that was above and beyond the call, man. But, thank you," I said sincerely.
Wally's eyes darkened, then a deep flush started on his face and he looked down. "I'm sorry," He said abruptly standing up. "Moment of weakness."
"What?" I was confused. My best friend had just given me the most awesome blowjob in my life and he looked guilty as fuck about it. Did he not want to give me one? Why had he done it if he hadn't wanted to? Had I made him feel pressured to?
Shit I hoped not, still I had kind of shoved my erection into his face. Maybe he felt some how obligated. Like he'd felt obligated to go so far out of his way to rescue me. And now I felt shitty about the whole thing.
Wally grabbed the bolt cutters off the floor, turning his back to me. "We need to get back on the road. The last thing we need is to get caught for public lewdness."
I quickly pulled my pants up, then high tailed it out of the empty toilet, pausing only momentarily to toss chastity sheath into the trash. I then half ran to catch up with Wally, who was all business, starting the engine before I'd had time to buckle myself in. We pulled out of the rest stop and headed back toward the highway past the sign telling us that Nebraska was coming up. I could only think that Missouri would not be missed.
Though neither of us spoke about what just happened, I could still feel it kind of floating between us as an awkwardness we'd never felt around each other before. So this is what happens when friends have sex. I could see why people warned against it.
Well. It really did put twist on things.
Back to Chapter 16
On to chapter 18
RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY: In the process of fleeing the vampires, George and Wally trip their way into another plot twist.
Word Count: 6799
Chapter 17
"Are you okay?" Wally asked. He turned his head towards me for half a second, then returned his eyes to the road. The worry remained etched on his face, drawing the corners of his lips down and furrowing his brow.
That's when I realized I was making a weird, hybrid laugh-sob that was both and neither. It didn't sound like I was happy. Deranged perhaps, but not happy. I could see how that would scare him. Hell, it was kinda scaring me.
I managed to calm down long enough to tell him, "No," which was truthful, but also not actually what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was "I'm so un-fucking-believably happy I don't feel like committing suicide anymore." But in retrospect that probably wouldn't have reassured Wally either. In fact there was pretty much nothing I could honestly say about my condition that would make him any less unhappy.
So I just stared at him and thought, my god, what the hell happened to us. Right now Wally and I should be sitting in the living room playing his Xbox. Then sometime in the mid afternoon we'd start cleaning the house so that when Wally's slovenly nerd friends came over to play GURPS they might actually consider putting their left over Mountain Dew cans in the recycling rather than assuming they belonged on the floor. Trust me this is a problem with that crowd.
I buried my face in my hands for a moment. Christ, the whole last week was completely unreal. It was hard to believe it had even happened. Now I was with Wally again, surrounded by the real world, with the open road ahead of me, it really felt like it should be all over and I aught to feel safe. But that was just an illusion. The nightmare had just taken on a new phase. This was that chase dream that everyone gets, where the monster is just behind you and you don't dare to look back lest you trip.
What I really needed to do was to wake up.
Wally's face was squinched up in a way I really didn't like. Like he was on the verge of panic and he didn't know what the fuck to do about the situation. He was waiting for me to take charge. I know to an outsider that seems to be ass-backwards. I mean, with that husky build Wally looks like he can break me with two fingers, but, thing is, Wally is naturally shy and pessimistic and I'm naturally not. So whenever we got to doing something out of the normal rut, it's always been my job to reassure Wally that it's not going to end in massive failure. This had to be the biggest adventure of his life, it certainly was of mine, and I needed to pull it together for him, because as unfair as this all was to me, at least I had some say in the mess. Wally was a completely unwitting bystander.
"I don't suppose this car has permission to leave the city?" I asked, trying to get us off the subject of how fucked in the head I was and on to something practical. Actually, that was an excellent question. Our options were a bit tough if we ran the checkpoint without having a happy transponder code to give it.
Wally's frown deepened, but he said, "It should. It's in Lady Darlene's name. I'm pretty sure she doesn't need permission to travel."
"Yeah, who patrons the patrons."
We laughed, despite that not being at all witty or clever. The tension between us eased a little, so, stupid me, I had to go and ratchet it back up again.
"I'm so sorry about what happened to Darlene," I said. "If I'd known…"
"Not your fault," said Wally. It was exactly what Claudia had said to me - same inflection and everything. Christ, that was creepy. "Don't worry about that. I'm just sorry that I wasn't able to get a hold of Lord Chauncey for you. Lady Darlene ordered me not to. She didn't want him to know until she had you in hand and could make it up to him."
"Oh, that's totally nothing. I emailed him myself, not that it did any good."
I'm not sure Wally heard me. "You know, we weren't being stupid back there, coming to you. We were tricked. Lady Nadette led us on. Man, Geo, I set up their video conference, and it really seemed like Nadette wanted to help us - she was sympathetic and everything, said it would be all done hush, hush and how she understood how Darlene would need to save face. Then when we got there, there was this huge party and everyone knew and…"
His voice trailed off and for a moment we just stood staring unseeing at the road remembering that awful moment.
"Nadette is a hateful, hateful bitch," I said. That about summed it up.
"I guess we can try contact Lord Chauncey now. I mean, I don't think Darlene's going to object any -" he stopped talking mid word. I winced. Darlene's death was hitting him a lot harder than he wanted to let on. "Maybe he'll take me in, too, we can have the same patron. That would be convenient."
"I don't want any patron," I said firmly. "Been there, done that, never want to do it again."
Wally looked at me like I'd said I didn't want to be subject to gravity. "Good luck with that."
Time to let him in on the Plan.
"Listen Wally, there's got to be some kind of resistance movement out there. I just can't believe that I'm the only one who isn't hunky dory about being enslaved as a species. There are thousands of old military bases out there, I'm sure there are stashes of weapons. Vestelar said that Vampires aren't immortal. And hell we just saw it with our own eyes. Those vampires took Darlene apart with their fucking hands… so … so," I paused and clawed at thoughts. "Maybe Vestalar was wrong. Maybe a human can take down a vampire. It seems to me that maybe all we need to do is to pump enough bullets into one and down they go. "
Wally took his eyes from the road for over a second to give me the most shocked incredulous look he could. "Are you seriously suggesting you and I fight vampires?"
"Hell yes!" I said, pounding my fist against the armrest for emphasis. "Let's go all Van Helsing on their asses."
Wally's mouth dropped. I could see the gold crown on his back tooth. "Geo -- did you sleep through history class or something? Dude, they took over military bases in 1982. Military fucking bases, full of tanks and bazookas. You think you and I can take one down with a fucking rifle?"
I waved that off. "The more I think of it, the more it's seems to me that maybe we lost the Coup due to a fluke. After all, we were trying to use a magical solution- like stakes and sunlight - when what we really needed was a mundane one." My heart sped up. "They had surprise on their side back then. No one knew that vampires existed, no one knew about their mind powers. And we had all these wrong notions about their weaknesses. We know better now."
That earned a skeptical look from Wally.
"And besides," I went on. "They didn't fight their way onto the military base. They simply walked in, took over the general's mind, and ordered their men to surrender their weapons. Those military guys were trained to take orders no questions asked. It took just a bit too long to figure out what was going down. When they caught on and fought back, the vampires simply clouded their minds and had them shooting each other. But the point is, the point is," I repeated, waiting for my brain to catch up to my mouth, "The point is, Wally, that we don't know how close we came to winning back then. If the vampires hadn't been so precisely coordinated in their attack, it might have failed. They could have gotten lucky."
"You want to go to war with the vampires," repeated Wally. "After the vampires freed us from war. Doesn't that strike you as slightly ironic?"
It was my turn to shake my head with skepticism. "Freed us at what price, Wally?" I sat back on the leather seat and stared sightlessly at the back of the semi ahead of us. "They tax the shit out of us, and they treat people like you and me like property. No representation. We said fuck no to that over 200 years ago - and that's what we need to do again. A new fucking Declaration of Independence for the whole world."
To my ears it sounded sweet, but Wally actually slapped his face. "Don't you get it? You and me wouldn't even exist if they hadn't taken over. We were on the brink of a nuclear war. We'd all be dead and this world would be a hot radioactive cider. We take them out we will just go back to destroying ourselves. It's our nature."
"That's what the Vampires say," I countered. "We don't know that. Just because we had the option of destroying the world doesn't mean that we were going to do so. We could have pushed that nuclear Armageddon button many times before the Vamps took over, but we didn't. So who is to say, we might not have ever pressed that button. We might have eventually figured it out on our own that nuclear escalation was not the way to go. "
"Yeah, how likely is that." Wally shook his head, defeated. "We suck when it comes to keeping our excesses in check. As a species, we have no self-control. We need them."
I frowned. "That's total crap, Wally. As a species, we had a bad moment, but we don't need Vampires to keep us in line anymore. Maybe our parents' generation owed them their lives, but you and I weren't even born when the Coup took place. Why do we have to pay because our ancestors were such incredible fucktards that they put their ideology above survival."
Wally said nothing for a minute. "So how do we find this fabled Resistance?"
Yeah, that's a good question and I was just too tired to even contemplate the answer. "Give me a few hours," I said. "I just got away. For now, let's just get out of this city and find some place to crash."
"Okay, not pushing. Plenty of time to arrange a revolution."
Well if that wasn't passive aggressive... but we were both tired. Maybe we needed to just shut up and enjoy our freedom for a bit.
We were getting close to the edge of the city, I could tell. We were running out of industrial park. On our right we passed the stadium, flying its banners out over a huge stretch of empty parking lot. A minute later the city opened up to our right and we saw the backside of the Airport stretching for miles. I thought I could detect a whiff of aviation fuel in the air sucked in by the Limo's ducts. And that was that. Suddenly the last of the warehouses fell away and there was nothing out my window but a modest strip of institutional greenscaping leading up to a ten foot, barb-wire topped wall. The edge of the Protectorate. We had to be coming to the check point soon.
I felt my stomach harden up and I gripped the edge of the leather seat tightly. My seatbelt felt like a confining strap, holding me in place. I flashed back on Gregory's embrace at the party - a bit of a post-traumatic hiccup. Claustrophobia made my skin crawl and I felt a near unbearable urge to unfasten myself.
My awareness of my surroundings notched up with my fear. The traffic on the road had thinned considerably in the last mile, and what was left consisted almost entirely of semis and work vans. The other "passenger" vehicle I saw was an F-350 extended cab, which, from the mud splashed fender, looked like it belonged in the countryside. I felt a prickle of my hair on the back of my neck as I realized that our Lincoln Town Car looked obvious and wrong. Who takes a ride in the countryside in a limousine?
"Don't panic," said Wally, in a low, intense voice. He eased off the gas and the Limo slid down from five miles above the speed limit to one mile below. Swallowing I looked around, to see what had spooked him. My eyes caught sight of something in the side view mirror. Oh, fuck. Behind us, and a lane over was a cop car, lights dark, clipping along just a bit faster than traffic.
I felt the blood drain from my face. They were going to pull us over. We were going to be caught. I just knew it.
The police cruiser edged up to our side. I resisted an urge to look at it. Cops know when someone starts acting guilty there's probably a good reason for it. I put a hand up to the side of my face - not really covering it, just sort of casual, like I was leaning on the door. Had Nadette updated the photo on my Bloodtrust account yet - or were my pursuers still using that picture of a pimply, shaggy haired 18 year old? Damn it, why hadn't I hidden in the back of the limo, where no one could just casually look over and spot me.
The cruiser pulled slowly ahead, then cut in front of us. It's lights suddenly turned on and I heard the brief wail of its siren. Wally's normally pale skin turned positively ashen. He slowed down even more, to a forty mile an hour crawl. I gripped my seat with both hands and clenched my jaw. Up ahead, the semis started pulling off to the side of the road. And then a second police cruiser blew past us, sirens on.
The checkpoint was just ahead. There was no way to get off this road before we hit it. The only thing we could do was to not attract any more attention than our obvious weirdness would merit. And pray.
The two cop cars abruptly slowed down and pulled into the dusty turn around just in front of the Check Gate. Wally wasn't the only driver who'd slowed to a creep to watch what the cops did. The two cruisers rumbled down the turn off, then turned around and faced themselves back up towards the highway. Their lights spun in dizzying red and blue sweeps, but their sirens cut out. I could do nothing but stare at them. Then, I felt a shadow cross my face and realized we'd just passed under the metal arch that contained all the cameras and transponder equipment. The sign just beyond read in large chunky letters: Now Leaving Kansas City Protectorate.
Now came the real test. If this limo didn't have authorization to leave the city, those cop cars would know it in a few seconds. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that they were after us, and here we were cruising in a limo that screamed "vampire". How long would it take those cops to put two and two together?
I looked in the mirror, waiting for it. Waiting for it.
I couldn't wait for it. I had to do something. Panic rose in me like some wild thing clawing at my chest. We had to get off the fucking road. We had to lay low.
There was an off ramp ahead. "Take that," I said to Wally impulsively.
A look of doubt crossed his face, but he obeyed me, like this were any old trip. He pulled into the right lane, then slowed and peeled off. The problem with my plan immediately reared its head. There was nothing but flat and rows of young crops out this way. We could still see the highway and the cop cars even as we drove out in this random direction.
Hope came in the form of a strand of trees. "Turn left," I said. Wally complied and we found ourselves in a small orphaned subdivision outside of city limits. It was probably a hold over from before the vampires took over. Vampires highly discouraged urban sprawl, since it meant more travel in and out of protectorates, but some was inevitable.
Without my direction, Wally continued to meander down the country lanes. We passed out of that subdivision and into actual farmland. For the next hour we traveled in an artfully random fashion, throwing off whatever possible pursuit we thought had. Or perhaps just making sure that everyone in the area had a chance to remark on the obviously horribly lost city-folk.
It was a low-gas light that brought our heads out of the clouds long enough to get practical. I ended up google-earthing us on Wally's Iphone to figure out where the hell we were, and five minutes later we were back on I-29 a scant 12 miles North of where we left it, much to our chagrin. In Wally's words, we'd "rolled a critical failure" on our common sense.
I slid down in my seat - half expecting to see cops setting up a roadblock ahead. Damn it - if we'd just gone straight we'd be in Nebraska by now. Jeffrey would not be pleased with us.
In all honestly, we should have been caught, but sometimes God hands the good guys a favor. Turned out that while Wally and I were pulling a boner, frittering away precious time in the countryside, Nadette had pulled an even bigger one back at her compound. I didn't find out until much, much later how big the break Wally and I were given that morning, but it was huge. We really didn't need to worry about those scary cops after all.
No one bothered to tell them what they were looking for.
Yes. Really. The cops had apparently been ordered to monitor the checkpoints, but no one gave them any indication what they were looking for or how to proceed. Any plea for instruction was met by contradictions and confusion, as Nadette's security and clerks spread the message of my disappearance with all the clarity of a child's game of Telephone. Nadette meanwhile was hampered by her twelve tired and very pissed off guests. And apparently my running away had thrown such a monkey wrench into her well oiled machine it took her literally hours to email a photograph of me out to the police who were supposedly looking for me. Needless to say, by the time they did get their act together, the police were feeling quite a bit less like this was their problem.
Of course, we didn't know that at the time, which really made pulling into the self-serve pump at Texaco gas station into a harrowing event. It seemed to our paranoid minds entirely likely that those cameras set up pointed at our car was somehow feeding information about us to some Big Brother agency, and that within minutes some computer would spit our whereabouts out to Nadette. I slouched down in my seat and put the hood of my windbreaker up and pretended to sleep while Wally got out and shoved his debit card into the machine to fill up the limo's enormous tank.
It wasn't fun, but in retrospect it was pretty funny, in sort of the way throwing up on Darlene's arm had been. I could tell we were bumbling about like amateurs. I had a strange meta moment where I realized that one day I'd be telling this story at dinner parties. The question was would the party-goers be our gamer buddies or would they be someone's overdressed, undereducated harem.
We really had to work harder at this "not getting caught" thing.
Wally climbed back into the car and turned the key in the engine. I relaxed as soon as we'd put the gas station awning behind us and were back on I29 yet again. The ride was butter smooth and eerily quiet, as one would expect from a limo built from a Town Car. It slid up to speed with ease and then took the freeway like it was staying still.
My adrenaline-high faded and I began to feel sleep creeping up around the corners of my dry eyes. In an attempt to keep myself awake, I began to take off my windbreaker with the idea of letting the cold from the air conditioner perk me up. My sleeve caught on something as I started undressing. I yanked a little and it came free, and at the same time I felt something pinch my arm.
The damn handcuffs. I'd actually forgotten about them. With my coat off they looked incredibly obvious. I frowned. There was no way I could go anywhere public with these on and not create some kind of stir. But I couldn't take them off either. The day was really beginning to warm up and wearing a coat made me look almost as suspicious as not.
"Ah, Wally." I shook my wrists at him. "I know it's not my birthday, but could you buy me a hack saw?"
"What? Oh - OH!" His eyes widened.
We ended up pulling off to the side of the road on some dinky side street in St. Josephs where I jumped into the back of the limo. I was immediately plunged into darkness, despite it being well past nine am on a bright, cloudlessly cheery late spring morning. The cabin smelled warmly of leather and plastic. I reached up and felt around and found the dome light to turn it on. While Wally started up the car and took us to look for a hardware store, I examined the back. Apparently vampires like to keep these things pretty simple - a single bench facing forward, a chair facing backwards and a bank of cherry wood cabinetry. Cup holders, a TV, music player and a small fridge that was very disappointingly empty. My stomach grumbled. With the exception of a plate of hors d'oeuvres, I hadn't eaten anything since Thursday.
Sighing, I lay back across the bench. It was enticingly comfortable and suddenly it seemed like the weariness of the day had come crashing down on me. My eyes drifted closed.
The door opened a moment later, and I jerked to sitting with a shock. My hand went over my heart when I saw it was just Wally leaning in. Swallowing I rubbed my eyes. Then wiped my hands over my cheeks to try to rid myself of the numb-drunk feeling of interrupted sleep. I couldn't even remember passing out, but apparently I had gone out like a light.
Wally climbed into the facing chair and shut the door on us. He was carrying a number of packages. "Sorry it took me so long," he said not looking at me. Instead he put the bags on the ground between his legs.
"But you got the saw?" I asked. I felt a silly worry that the hardware store we'd picked wouldn't have one.
Wally nodded and pulled an object from the largest of his bags. "Here." He pulled a ten inch rubber handled blade saw. God it was big. And toothy.
Um.
See, thing is, a using hack saw to remove a pair of metal cuffs from your wrists sounds like an awfully good idea in theory, but faced with the prospect of those nasty serrations slipping on the metal and hitting my wrists… er… yeah. I looked at the tool with roughly the same expression I might have if he'd pulled a cobra out of that brown plastic bag.
Wally also looked at the saw doubtfully. Our eyes met briefly, then without a word he laid it on top of the cabinetry and pulled another tool from the same bag.
"I also got one of these." He pulled out a bolt cutter. "I think this might be a bit safer."
"Yeah," I said with relief. I picked up the bolt cutter and tried to one handedly maneuver it around the left cuff. My effort was somewhat comical and it soon became clear that it wasn't really the ideal tool for the job either. It was going to take a lot of strength to snip this off. Hopefully my wrist wouldn't snap in the process.
"But before you do that - I got inspired," said Wally suddenly. "So let's see if this might work." He reached into out a second bag and brought out a package and tossed it into my lap. "I noticed an Adult Entertainment shop down the street."
I picked up the cardboard box. It was small and square and had a drawing of a pair of handcuffs on it. For a brief moment I thought Wally was crazy - the problem wasn't that I needed more tying up after all. Then I got it. Ohhhhh! Right!
"You are a fucking genius, Wally." I slid out the cuffs, out of their little box and tossed them offhandedly to the floor. Then I tapped the end and dropped the important part out on my lap: a pair of keys wrapped in a little sleeve of plastic. "Thank god these things are standardized." I took one of the pair of keys that came with the cuffs and slid it into the lock on my cuffs.
They opened like a charm. "Perfect."
"Okay, so that's done," said Wally, nodding. "Now, I don't know about you but I'm starving."
Wally opened the third bag, and reached in. "I stopped by the grocery store and got us some sodas and chips. Grapes. Grapes are good road food."
I reached in and grabbed a handful of grapes. They were tart, and sweet and cold - perfect. Exactly what my aching body craved.
"And I got bandages, ointment and ibuprophen."
My eyes teared up in gratitude. "Man you are a lifesaver. Literally."
"Yeah I know. You owe me." Wally grinned. "Gonna collect, you know."
"Anything you want." I lifted my shirt and turned to show my back to him. "My kidney is yours."
"Ew." Wally pulled back and made a face. Then his eyes narrowed predatorily. "I was thinking more along the lines of say being our Healer for the Saturday game."
I gaped and almost launched a protest, but realized that Wally had me over a barrel. He'd been trying to sucker me into giving rollplaying a try the entire time I've known him. For this? Sure, I'd do it. "Okay, I will roll up a GURPS character for your retarded game. But I warn you, I will be terrible at this."
"You don't actually roll up a character in GURPS - it's a point based system."
Ah yes, nothing says a great afternoon of fun like accounting. I have watched Wally while away the prime dating hours of the week, pouring over books and tables and arguing if a sword could do 2D - 4 damage or 4D +3. Playing make believe with Wally's friends came with more math than my actual job. And it was slow. I'd witnessed a "3 minute battle" take 7 hours to play out and you know there is just something wrong going on when that's the case.
But for this? Yeah, I'm willing to do it.
"If that's what you want, call me Geo the Healer." I smiled at him and his face lit up with delight. Evidently it was.
It could have been a lot worse. He could have asked for money. Wally regretfully confirmed my suspicions that I was out of a job. In fact, my boss had fired me without severance the moment he found out I was white, saying I'd violated my contract by putting false information on my resume. My undesirable status hadn't been false when I put it there, but, you know, whatever. He always was a bit of an ass. Still it meant that I had no income coming in and precious little left in my bank account. And I was out my most expensive clothes, my phone and my computer. All in all, having the attention of Jeffrey and his kind was turning out to be extremely expensive.
Getting home was more than likely to leave both me and Wally broke.
Ten minutes later we were in considerably better spirits, with food in our stomachs, and a plan in place. The goal was Omaha, Nebraska, to find a place to sleep for the night. It would be calling it in early, but Wally hadn't had much sleep and I'd had basically none and the risk of making stupid decisions was bigger than the risk of being too close to epicenter of the search. Omaha was a big city with it's own collection of vampires and perhaps the rivalry between them and Kansas City would hamper the search. Meanwhile Wally and I could hide among the tourists, and the crazy vehicle we were using would come a bit closer to fitting in.
But Omaha was also a two hour drive and my bladder wasn't infinite in capacity. So Wally pulled into a freeway rest stop about 10 miles south of Hamburg. It was a cheerful little stop, with a ton of flowers and a number of round picnic tables each with it's own fancy concrete pavilion. The Lincoln was too long for the car parking, so Wally pulled into the Truck lot and we walked quickly to the bathrooms.
Habit had me stepping up to the urinals without thinking. Mid zip I had a shuddery revelation and my cheeks turned red. Without looking at Wally, who'd set himself up (as per decorum) a few slots down, I went to one of the stalls and did my business the clumsy way I had to.
I had to get out of this chastity belt. Had to. Even now I could feel the need that had been built up earlier rising to the fore, and it was enough to make me want to cry.
God, if things couldn't get more embarrassing. I stepped out of the stall, wincing because my cock, even without me thinking dirty thoughts, was trying really had to grow. Wally was at the sink washing his hands and I just couldn't say anything to him about my problem. Even for as good a friends as we were, this was TMI.
Then a cunning plan formed in the shape of a little white painted vending machine attached to the wall tiles in the corner of the room. Maybe I could get the chastity belt off myself. After all this was a freaking sex toy, not a serious piece of equipment.
I dwaddled at the sink while Wally dried his hands and stepped out of the restroom, going back to the car. I wandered over to the ubiquitous condom vending machine that seemed to be a staple part of every public restroom. Above the white painted box offering three different types of condoms and two varieties of lube was an ironic sign saying, "Sexual activity is prohibited in these facilities." I don't think they were even trying to enforce that, though what with all the perfectly legal sex clubs only a real loser would resort to hooking up in a public restroom.
As luck would have it, I had two quarters sitting in the change pouch of my wallet. I put these into the vending machine and pressed the button for the unflavored lube. In a way this would be kind of like taking a ring off a swollen finger. Only instead of ring, put plastic band, and instead of finger, substitute balls. I retreated into a bathroom stall and broke the tab on the packet of lube, running the slick substance generously over my sack and slipping my finger around the chastity band. Then, ever so carefully, I tugged my scrotum out the other side, maneuvering a single testicle through the ring.
I hissed. I could do this. I could. It would just be a momentary pinch, then it would be done. The second ball would be easier. I just had to man up and actually do it. Gritted my teeth, I gave it one last solid tug, while simultaneously pushing the ball under the band with the other hand.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW, OW, OW! My testicle leapt up the pain scale from a manly, I-can-tough-this-through 5 to a terrifying, oh-god-I'm-a-eunuch-now 11. Coherent thought could not form. With dots forming in front of my eyes, I managed to get my head together enough to pull my abused testicle out again. Then I collapsed on the toilet, cupping myself and crying like a child.
"Are you okay?" Wally asked.
I hadn't even heard him come in the bathroom. Oh shit. I opened my mouth to speak but the pain was too intense and I couldn't do anything but choke.
"Geo?" Wally tapped on my door. "Geo! You okay? Is something wrong with you?"
"…okay," I managed to whisper through a throat so tight I couldn't even swallow.
"Geo, what's wrong. Are you hurt? Are you having some attack?"
The throbbing started to subside to a barely tolerable level and the reality came crashing in on me that the only way I was getting out of this chastity belt was with tools. "Could you get the bolt cutter from the car?" I asked. My voice squeaked.
"Geo, what's wrong? You are scaring me."
I put my hand on my face. It felt boiling hot and I knew I was flushing scarlet. "I'm embarrassed."
"Let me in. What's wrong."
Because I knew I wasn't going to get any cooperation out of him until he knew what was up, I slid the latch to the stall open. Wally opened the door quickly and stood over me, staring down at my crotch.
I was almost too ashamed to look up.
"What the fuck?" Wally's voice was bewildered. "What is -"
"A chastity belt."
"You are shitting me. How does it work?" Well at least he wasn't laughing. He seemed to be fascinated by it.
"I can't get an erection in it. I can't masturbate."
"You got the key?"
I leveled my most wearied look at his oh-so-innocent blue eyes. "Do you really think Nadette would give me the key to my chastity belt?"
"Oh - OH!" And it was like Wally had suddenly solved a puzzle. "You want to get out of it!"
I held the no shit Sherlock comment behind gritted teeth. "Can you get those bolt cutters?"
Wally raced out the door and was back in thirty seconds with the bolt cutters. He latched us in then turned around.
"Here," he said, "Let me, I think I got a better angle on this." With that he sank down on his knees between my legs and worked the thick head of the cutter into position around the hasp of the lock.
It wasn't as easy as it looked. The lock was small but it was solid and made of a tough alloy. Wally had to be very careful both positioning the bolt cutters and with how much pressure he used. Twice he leaned too hard and yanked my genitals causing me to stifle a scream behind my arm.
We took a breather with the lock most of the way snipped through. I laid my damp hands on his shoulders and offered up the praise all drunk and truly miserable people do. "God, you really love me, man."
"I do," said Wally, grinning.
"Not everyone would do this."
"Oh, I don't know about that," shrugged Wally, modestly, hefting the bolt cutters back into position.
"You know what this looks like," I said dimly realizing our relative and rather compromising positions were visible under the stall door.
"Like I'm giving you a blowjob in a public toilet."
"Oh, Wally, man, I love you so much for this. I really do. This is so beyond friendship. I'll give you anything you want for this - for sure."
In answer Wally squeezed on the bolt cutters. It felt for just a moment like he was going to rip my penis off, then the damn lock broke. With deft fingers, Wally twisted the loop in one direction and the body of the lock in another, then threaded it out. I grabbed the sheath and yanked that horrible, evil, piss yellow piece of plastic off my cock.
It felt soooo good. So freeing.
And I was so hard. Despite the rough treatment, despite the chafing, my cock didn't care. It felt full and sensitive and Wally's face hovering over it looked frankly hot. Wally gave my erection a funny look. Then he met my eyes for just the shortest moments and I saw guilt and anger and something more complex.
"Aw man, I'm sorry." I slid back. "They teased me for hours - Wally. I just need to come really bad-"
Wally leaned forward and took my cock in his mouth, giving the head a long slow, powerful suck.
All my words dried up in my throat. All my thoughts cut out. I just stared at him and felt what he was doing. His mouth was hot, and powerful, and suddenly his hands were on either hip steadying me. I could do nothing but stare in utter amazement as those amazing lips of his slid down, down, down the shaft, reaching the half way point before going up again. Then repeating.
I came.
My orgasm was so sudden it surprised me. It wasn't just a small thing centered in my penis, it seemed to push all the way down the shaft, through my balls and belly and up into my chest. I let out a little cry at the sheer intensity of it, each peak seemed to slam me about. "Ah," I gasped, as I kept ejaculating.
And Wally just took it. His eyes were closed and he seemed almost zen-like with contentment. He swallowed and swallowed, and I could see my spunk in corners of his lips, and knew all that pent up cum was more than a mouth full. Somehow he managed to swallow it all down. Hell, that was unbelievably hot. But even hotter was the look of rapture he had as his eyes slowly opened. It was as if he were the one who had finally gotten off after waiting so long.
I felt this blanket of languid contentment fall over me - so deep and soft and wonderful it seemed like I could never feel bad about anything ever again. My whole body relaxed and all my pains eased away with the euphoria.
"Now that was above and beyond the call, man. But, thank you," I said sincerely.
Wally's eyes darkened, then a deep flush started on his face and he looked down. "I'm sorry," He said abruptly standing up. "Moment of weakness."
"What?" I was confused. My best friend had just given me the most awesome blowjob in my life and he looked guilty as fuck about it. Did he not want to give me one? Why had he done it if he hadn't wanted to? Had I made him feel pressured to?
Shit I hoped not, still I had kind of shoved my erection into his face. Maybe he felt some how obligated. Like he'd felt obligated to go so far out of his way to rescue me. And now I felt shitty about the whole thing.
Wally grabbed the bolt cutters off the floor, turning his back to me. "We need to get back on the road. The last thing we need is to get caught for public lewdness."
I quickly pulled my pants up, then high tailed it out of the empty toilet, pausing only momentarily to toss chastity sheath into the trash. I then half ran to catch up with Wally, who was all business, starting the engine before I'd had time to buckle myself in. We pulled out of the rest stop and headed back toward the highway past the sign telling us that Nebraska was coming up. I could only think that Missouri would not be missed.
Though neither of us spoke about what just happened, I could still feel it kind of floating between us as an awkwardness we'd never felt around each other before. So this is what happens when friends have sex. I could see why people warned against it.
Well. It really did put twist on things.
Back to Chapter 16
On to chapter 18