And while we are on the topic of Not Brain Safe....
Remember waaaaaaaay back when I opened myself up to a smut meme? I asked people to give me a pairing and a kink? Yeah, you remember that? I actually do. And I'm still slowly working my way through the list. This is for ushigami who asked me to do Roy x Pinako, with the kink being cookies. So don't blame me for this... blame ushigami.
I'm sorry ushigami I don't think I made this hot, but I'll bat my eyes prettily if you'll do a picture of it for me.
Dang this is rough... I'll fix it up in the morning... YAWN!!! Sleepy...
TITLE: The Special Ingredient.
PAIRING: Pinako x Roy, implied Winry x Sheska x Ed.
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Drug use. Not Brain Safe. Dentures.
Pinako looked at the youngsters sitting at her kitchen table, playing little flirty games with each other. The new girl, Sheska was casting shy glances in Winry's direction every time Winry appeared distracted. From the slight blush, and the way the girl covered her mouth, her thoughts weren't completely platonic… but might as well have been for the way Winry didn't pick up on them.
That was because Winry was casting those same eyes towards Ed, who was utterly oblivious to her. He in turn was having a rather animated discussion with Roy, who in turn was ALSO eyeing Ed in a way that raised Pinako's eyebrow.
Ah, young love, it was kind of sweet seeing these young ones walking their first shy steps on the route to sexual bliss. It made her nostalgic.
No one was looking in Pinako's direction, which made the older woman feel just a bit left out of the game. Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced. She curled her lips around her pipe in memory of her past exploits.
Pinako had once been quite a catch. In her drinking days with Hohenheim, they'd painted the town red, and often ended up waking up in strange beds - occasionally not even in the same town they'd started the evening in. When they staggered back into each others company again, they'd share bragging stories of their drunken exploits. It had grown into something of a rivalry between them, and they traded tales of their bedroom antics like soldiers telling war stories.
Ah but that had been 40 years ago. First Pinako had found her husband, and then later … much later… Hohenheim had found Trisha. Inevitably they'd settled down, become staid, stale, boring.
Well Walter was gone, more than 20 years in the grave at this point. Winry was all but grown up, and really not needing her any more. Really, she was a free woman. It was time, Pinako abruptly decided, to revisit her bohemian lifestyle… now before she truly did become too old enjoy a good fling.
"I'm going to make some cookies," Pinako said. "I need to go into town and get a few ingredients."
She was not at all surprised when none of the others chimed in to join her. As she shrugged her shall around her shoulders she gave a last backwards glance as the four of them, still chatting, still full of unrequited lust for each other, and then she snickered and turned her back. Someone was going to get lucky tonight, and if Pinako got her way, it was going to be HER.
The ingredients were not hard to find. The market supplied most of it, and a Madge from her Thursday night bingo club supplied the secret ingredient from her "medicinal" stash. "I'll make you a pie," offered Pinako, in exchange.
"Oh deary, I do love your boysenberry," said Madge "Do have a good time with that. It's potent stuff, and I should know!" She winked.
Pinako laughed, and put the small brown sack in her bag next to the eggs. She walked back to her own house with a little bounce in her step.
When Pinako arrived back the youngsters had moved from the kitchen to the living room, but otherwise they seemed to be stuck on the same conversations as when she left. It wasn't too surprising when they ignored her. She didn't mind. It meant they wouldn't disturb her cooking, which was honestly just as well.
Pinako paused after a bit in her baking. Roy and Sheska were adults but Winry and Ed were still underage. Ed especially had some growing to. She wasn't sure if the secret herbs would actually stunt his growth, but she didn't want to be responsible if it did.
She carefully divided up the batch and stirred the finely ground buds into one bowl, leaving the other untouched. She then went to check the temperature of the oven.
The smell of course brought them all in, just as Pinako knew it would. She parsed out the cookies on plates, handing a neat stack of the warm sweet treats to each of her guests. Winry and Ed of course got the ones Pinako had libeled child friendly. Roy and Sheska got the ones that were more adult.
Pinako herself nibbled on hers, watching Roy with a steadily bolder gaze. He was a fine looking young man after all. One really couldn't hold the whole Dog bit against him. Alchemists did tend to end up in the military after all. And my that lifestyle did seem to have a rather pleasant way of making a man firm in all the right places.
Roy paused mid chew to look at her and his brows furrowed. "Are they good," she asked.
He swallowed. "Very good Ms. Rockbell."
"Call me Pinako."
"Pinako." Yes, there was a slightly goofy smile on that normally reserved man's face. The dour lines of worry had faded, which was just as well. It really made no sense for such a nice young man to have wrinkles.
Pinako waited until her guests had all eaten their fill and then shooed the younger three on with a make work task. Winry and Ed seemed quite happy for the task. Sheska seemed a bit unsteady, but gamely followed along. Perhaps, Pinako thought, by this evening the flirting between the three would be somewhat less unrequited.
I am a bad influence, thought Pinako.
Alone with Roy, Pinako began the second phase of her assault on the dashing young Colonel.
"I hear you are quite the ladies man, Mr. Mustang. I sense a kindred spirit here. I used to be quite something back in the day myself." She relaxed on her side of the wooden plank table and gazed across at her guest. Pinako then launched into some of her randier exploits, encouraging Roy to do the same.
Roy after a bit of initial hesitancy, reciprocated in the story telling. He wasn't bad, but no Hohenheim either. Still… she could see herself being a drinking buddy with the man.
"Have another cookie," she offered.
"That's quite alright," said Roy. "I really think I've had enough."
"Perhaps in a bit," she said.
Roy blinked and scratched his head. "I'm feeling kind of strange right now. Good but strange."
"Oh?"
"Mmm." His eyelids seemed a bit droopy and his expression, just slightly rubbery.
"Well, how about I take you up to bed then," Pinako suggested. "A spot of rest might do you good."
Roy seemed amenable to that. He also didn't seem to mind when she hooked her shoulder under his arm and helped move him, though he did say, laughing just a bit, "I'm not drunk."
It had been a while since Pinako had flirted with a man, but it didn't take long to remember the old tricks. Roy picked up on the coy looks and started giggling. That in turn made Pinako giggle, because it seemed so out of place on such a prim, upright man in uniform. Pinako took him to her room, and Roy started to laugh as though he'd just told her the funniest joke ever.
"I suppose you are going to take advantage of me," he said.
"Well," said Pinako. "That was the idea."
Roy quirked up an eyebrow. "I've never done it with a… mature lady before." He was obviously trying to be polite.
Pinako laughed. "Well, you are in for a treat then. Don't tell me you are scared of trying something new?"
Roy did seem like he was about to try and talk his way out of the situation, but after she phrased it that way he sat up indigninantly and said in a very firm, yet slightly slurred voice. "I never back down from a challenge."
From then on it was easier. No, Pinako wasn't tall like she'd been before: her skin wasn't as taut, and her breasts drooped, it was true. But her mouth still worked quite fine as Roy soon discovered. And there was the additional fun when she removed her teeth. In fact, when Roy had looked down he laughed hysterically for almost five minutes, but when his hysterics died down, Pinako made him a believer.
"My God, woman," was the only coherent thing he could say for some time.
After which Roy proved that he was just as much a master of his mouth as she was of hers.
They ended up with a contest of figuring out how many positions they could manage to twist themselves into without either falling out of bed or breaking bones and when it was over, they laughed at what the others might think if they found out.
Honestly, Pinako wasn't that surprised when Roy suddenly got called back the next day. It was a lot of fun while it lasted, but she really didn't expect more than a one night fling out of the man. To be honest, he was a bit too young for her. Not quite seasoned enough. Perhaps in another ten years…
"Thank you for sharing your home, Ms. Rockbell," Roy said at the door taking her hand in a firm shake.
"It's been a pleasure," Pinako replied with a smile and a twinkle in her eye. "Don't worry," she said in a softer voice. "I'm the soul of discretion…. But should you feel like bragging. I don't mind."
"I need to be going now," Roy said. He abruptly turned and left.
Pinako chuckled quietly to herself. She sat down at the kitchen table and picked up a cookie. It tasted just a bit odd, and it took her a moment to realize why. It was one of the unspiked batch. She looked over and noticed the other plate was empty, but for a few crumbs. Hmmmm…
"Ed?" called a voice from the living room. "Winry? Sheska? Where did you all go?"
Pinako's smile broadened. She got up and dusted herself off and then followed Al's voice. "Say, Al," she called out. "I need to inventory some of my automail equipment… care to lend me a hand?"
"Sure! But what about Ed and the others?" There was a slight note of concern in his voice. "They were acting a bit weird when I saw them last."
"I'm sure they are just fine," said Pinako giving his armor a light tap on the back. "Why don't you head down to the basement?"
Al nodded his head and headed down the stairs with a clatter and rattle.
Pinako paused a moment and thought she faintly heard faint giggling coming from the upstairs guest room. Somehow she suspected the next time they flirted with each other it would be a bit less childishly, and a lot less platonic.
Well, kids do have to grow up sometime, she thought and followed Al down to the workroom.
I'm sorry ushigami I don't think I made this hot, but I'll bat my eyes prettily if you'll do a picture of it for me.
Dang this is rough... I'll fix it up in the morning... YAWN!!! Sleepy...
TITLE: The Special Ingredient.
PAIRING: Pinako x Roy, implied Winry x Sheska x Ed.
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Drug use. Not Brain Safe. Dentures.
Pinako looked at the youngsters sitting at her kitchen table, playing little flirty games with each other. The new girl, Sheska was casting shy glances in Winry's direction every time Winry appeared distracted. From the slight blush, and the way the girl covered her mouth, her thoughts weren't completely platonic… but might as well have been for the way Winry didn't pick up on them.
That was because Winry was casting those same eyes towards Ed, who was utterly oblivious to her. He in turn was having a rather animated discussion with Roy, who in turn was ALSO eyeing Ed in a way that raised Pinako's eyebrow.
Ah, young love, it was kind of sweet seeing these young ones walking their first shy steps on the route to sexual bliss. It made her nostalgic.
No one was looking in Pinako's direction, which made the older woman feel just a bit left out of the game. Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced. She curled her lips around her pipe in memory of her past exploits.
Pinako had once been quite a catch. In her drinking days with Hohenheim, they'd painted the town red, and often ended up waking up in strange beds - occasionally not even in the same town they'd started the evening in. When they staggered back into each others company again, they'd share bragging stories of their drunken exploits. It had grown into something of a rivalry between them, and they traded tales of their bedroom antics like soldiers telling war stories.
Ah but that had been 40 years ago. First Pinako had found her husband, and then later … much later… Hohenheim had found Trisha. Inevitably they'd settled down, become staid, stale, boring.
Well Walter was gone, more than 20 years in the grave at this point. Winry was all but grown up, and really not needing her any more. Really, she was a free woman. It was time, Pinako abruptly decided, to revisit her bohemian lifestyle… now before she truly did become too old enjoy a good fling.
"I'm going to make some cookies," Pinako said. "I need to go into town and get a few ingredients."
She was not at all surprised when none of the others chimed in to join her. As she shrugged her shall around her shoulders she gave a last backwards glance as the four of them, still chatting, still full of unrequited lust for each other, and then she snickered and turned her back. Someone was going to get lucky tonight, and if Pinako got her way, it was going to be HER.
The ingredients were not hard to find. The market supplied most of it, and a Madge from her Thursday night bingo club supplied the secret ingredient from her "medicinal" stash. "I'll make you a pie," offered Pinako, in exchange.
"Oh deary, I do love your boysenberry," said Madge "Do have a good time with that. It's potent stuff, and I should know!" She winked.
Pinako laughed, and put the small brown sack in her bag next to the eggs. She walked back to her own house with a little bounce in her step.
When Pinako arrived back the youngsters had moved from the kitchen to the living room, but otherwise they seemed to be stuck on the same conversations as when she left. It wasn't too surprising when they ignored her. She didn't mind. It meant they wouldn't disturb her cooking, which was honestly just as well.
Pinako paused after a bit in her baking. Roy and Sheska were adults but Winry and Ed were still underage. Ed especially had some growing to. She wasn't sure if the secret herbs would actually stunt his growth, but she didn't want to be responsible if it did.
She carefully divided up the batch and stirred the finely ground buds into one bowl, leaving the other untouched. She then went to check the temperature of the oven.
The smell of course brought them all in, just as Pinako knew it would. She parsed out the cookies on plates, handing a neat stack of the warm sweet treats to each of her guests. Winry and Ed of course got the ones Pinako had libeled child friendly. Roy and Sheska got the ones that were more adult.
Pinako herself nibbled on hers, watching Roy with a steadily bolder gaze. He was a fine looking young man after all. One really couldn't hold the whole Dog bit against him. Alchemists did tend to end up in the military after all. And my that lifestyle did seem to have a rather pleasant way of making a man firm in all the right places.
Roy paused mid chew to look at her and his brows furrowed. "Are they good," she asked.
He swallowed. "Very good Ms. Rockbell."
"Call me Pinako."
"Pinako." Yes, there was a slightly goofy smile on that normally reserved man's face. The dour lines of worry had faded, which was just as well. It really made no sense for such a nice young man to have wrinkles.
Pinako waited until her guests had all eaten their fill and then shooed the younger three on with a make work task. Winry and Ed seemed quite happy for the task. Sheska seemed a bit unsteady, but gamely followed along. Perhaps, Pinako thought, by this evening the flirting between the three would be somewhat less unrequited.
I am a bad influence, thought Pinako.
Alone with Roy, Pinako began the second phase of her assault on the dashing young Colonel.
"I hear you are quite the ladies man, Mr. Mustang. I sense a kindred spirit here. I used to be quite something back in the day myself." She relaxed on her side of the wooden plank table and gazed across at her guest. Pinako then launched into some of her randier exploits, encouraging Roy to do the same.
Roy after a bit of initial hesitancy, reciprocated in the story telling. He wasn't bad, but no Hohenheim either. Still… she could see herself being a drinking buddy with the man.
"Have another cookie," she offered.
"That's quite alright," said Roy. "I really think I've had enough."
"Perhaps in a bit," she said.
Roy blinked and scratched his head. "I'm feeling kind of strange right now. Good but strange."
"Oh?"
"Mmm." His eyelids seemed a bit droopy and his expression, just slightly rubbery.
"Well, how about I take you up to bed then," Pinako suggested. "A spot of rest might do you good."
Roy seemed amenable to that. He also didn't seem to mind when she hooked her shoulder under his arm and helped move him, though he did say, laughing just a bit, "I'm not drunk."
It had been a while since Pinako had flirted with a man, but it didn't take long to remember the old tricks. Roy picked up on the coy looks and started giggling. That in turn made Pinako giggle, because it seemed so out of place on such a prim, upright man in uniform. Pinako took him to her room, and Roy started to laugh as though he'd just told her the funniest joke ever.
"I suppose you are going to take advantage of me," he said.
"Well," said Pinako. "That was the idea."
Roy quirked up an eyebrow. "I've never done it with a… mature lady before." He was obviously trying to be polite.
Pinako laughed. "Well, you are in for a treat then. Don't tell me you are scared of trying something new?"
Roy did seem like he was about to try and talk his way out of the situation, but after she phrased it that way he sat up indigninantly and said in a very firm, yet slightly slurred voice. "I never back down from a challenge."
From then on it was easier. No, Pinako wasn't tall like she'd been before: her skin wasn't as taut, and her breasts drooped, it was true. But her mouth still worked quite fine as Roy soon discovered. And there was the additional fun when she removed her teeth. In fact, when Roy had looked down he laughed hysterically for almost five minutes, but when his hysterics died down, Pinako made him a believer.
"My God, woman," was the only coherent thing he could say for some time.
After which Roy proved that he was just as much a master of his mouth as she was of hers.
They ended up with a contest of figuring out how many positions they could manage to twist themselves into without either falling out of bed or breaking bones and when it was over, they laughed at what the others might think if they found out.
Honestly, Pinako wasn't that surprised when Roy suddenly got called back the next day. It was a lot of fun while it lasted, but she really didn't expect more than a one night fling out of the man. To be honest, he was a bit too young for her. Not quite seasoned enough. Perhaps in another ten years…
"Thank you for sharing your home, Ms. Rockbell," Roy said at the door taking her hand in a firm shake.
"It's been a pleasure," Pinako replied with a smile and a twinkle in her eye. "Don't worry," she said in a softer voice. "I'm the soul of discretion…. But should you feel like bragging. I don't mind."
"I need to be going now," Roy said. He abruptly turned and left.
Pinako chuckled quietly to herself. She sat down at the kitchen table and picked up a cookie. It tasted just a bit odd, and it took her a moment to realize why. It was one of the unspiked batch. She looked over and noticed the other plate was empty, but for a few crumbs. Hmmmm…
"Ed?" called a voice from the living room. "Winry? Sheska? Where did you all go?"
Pinako's smile broadened. She got up and dusted herself off and then followed Al's voice. "Say, Al," she called out. "I need to inventory some of my automail equipment… care to lend me a hand?"
"Sure! But what about Ed and the others?" There was a slight note of concern in his voice. "They were acting a bit weird when I saw them last."
"I'm sure they are just fine," said Pinako giving his armor a light tap on the back. "Why don't you head down to the basement?"
Al nodded his head and headed down the stairs with a clatter and rattle.
Pinako paused a moment and thought she faintly heard faint giggling coming from the upstairs guest room. Somehow she suspected the next time they flirted with each other it would be a bit less childishly, and a lot less platonic.
Well, kids do have to grow up sometime, she thought and followed Al down to the workroom.