I'm the new #2... I mean Lust.
Sadly, sockren has decided to leave the FMA fandom. I'm hoping it's temporary. Anyway, he bequeathed to me his place amongst the fma_7sins. I am now "Lust," which is oddly appropriate considering what I write, though considering the turnover of the postition, and I should probably be a wee bit more careful about how I treat Roy.
Or not... let's live dangerously!
devils_devotion asked for a directors commentary on the Squick fic I wrote for her contest, so here goes:
TITLE: Need THE DIRECTORS COMMENTARY VERSION
PAIRING: Al x Ed x Roy
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Pedophilia, Rape, Bondage, kidnapping, drugs, disturbing sexual content, disturbing imagery, Spoilers for the end of the series and movie, sorta, NOT BRAIN SAFE!
Word count: 2948
First off, if you haven't read this fic, STOP RIGHT NOW and read it Here first. There are a lot of twists and turns that will be utterly spoiled if you read this commentary before reading the fic.
Ok, some back ground. Orriginally this fic was written to be my squick entry in devils_devotion's Squick Contest. What happened there is she gave us 3 weeks to write a fic. I spent 2 1/2 of those weeks toiling over a fic that was ultimately NOT squicky. After working and reworking that fic, I gave up and dashed this off in an afternoon… because that's apparently how these things work. Gah!!!! While this was MORE squicky than Gifts, it still wasn't squicky enough to win the contest, but… it's still pretty squicky… don't kid yourself. There are some blech moments here.
When Al stopped wearing Ed's clothes, Roy had breathed a sigh of relief. Obsession was normal for the Elric brothers, but Al's homage to his brother just didn't seem healthy. However, after a month, Roy found himself reassessing. Perhaps the change in costume wasn't such a good sign after all.
Here I set the scene, the theme, and introduce the main characters and the problem for the fic. The characters, are, naturally, Al, Roy and Ed. By mentioning Al's clothes, the reader knows that this is an AU set after the Anime, but ignoring (for the most sake) the movie. The theme, is unhealthy obsession. The problem is figuring out what has happened to Al. Like all my better fics this has something of a Thesis statement implied in it - Al's change in behavior is not a good sign.
Something was wrong with Al. He looked normal, and his mind was just as agile as ever, but there was a distance to the eyes that hadn't been there before. Roy listened to the kid describe in horrific detail the bodies of corpses raped, broken and bruised, covered with long strings of sores that resembled those left by a jelly fish. Through the entire report, Al never twitched an eye.
Here I elaborate on the problem: Al has become cold and uncaring. In the Anime, Al was always the conscience of Team Elric, being supportive and caring and a moral guide to everyone he comes across. Now all of a sudden he doesn't seem to care about people being killed and debauched in a horrible ways. This paragraph also serves to foreshadow the ending of the fic at the same time.
Roy looked at the others gathered around the long table. None of them seemed to think there was anything out of the ordinary about the young alchemist's behavior. Al's immediate superior seemed, if anything, pleased by his matter-of-factness.
A secondary theme in this is the way members of the Military use the Elrics for their own selfish purposes, without regard to their well being. This also establishes that the only one who can get to the bottom of this mystery is Roy, because no one else sees it as a problem.
"Major Elric," said General Hakuro, "Do you believe this is the work of chimera? Or an Alchemist."
Staring the man straight in the eye, Al said, "Honestly, it looks like a regular psychopath to me. I see nothing intrinsically alchemical or chimerical in the injuries."
Of course, the irony is that the murderer is both an alchemist and a chimera. Al is throwing up disinformation to protect himself and Ed, which is somewhat smart, but kind of clumsily done here. Luckily for Al, the brass here is being really stupid, because, um, since when did jelly-fish like injuries fit an ordinary psychopathic MO?
When had Al gotten so stony? Not even as armor had he been that hard.
Al had always been the calm, reasonable brother, but even as armor he'd maintained a tender streak. The fourteen year old should have been appalled and disturbed by this experience. Instead, he had merely rattled off the details of his investigation as one might an ordinary milk run.
The kid had seen a lot… had done a lot… but to be so cold all of a sudden… Roy frowned.
Now that I've foreshadowed, I attempt to distract the reader from Al's clearly absurd statement by focusing back on his behavior.
"Do you have an idea why this psychopath would be doing this? What is his pattern? Who is he?" Hakuro asked.
"That would be someone else's job to figure out, sir," said Al. "Now if you don't mind, I have a time-sensitive experiment going back in my lab. If there are no more questions…"
"You may go, Major Elric," said Hakuro. "Your expertise on chimeras is invaluable, but your experiments are more important." Al nodded and stood up.
Roy stood with him, "If you don't mind, General," he said out of courtesy.
"Not at all, " said Hakuro, "This meeting is over."
This was me quitting the scene as quickly and gracefully as I could, and setting up for the next scene, where Roy confronts Al about his change in behavior.
Roy caught up with Al in the hall. The teen was using the phone, calling for a ride to take him back to his house. Roy waited until he hung up.
Of course, Al would need privacy for what he's been doing, therefore he has a house, rather than living in a dorm. Also I figure if the brass would give Tucker a huge house for his Chimera research, they'd probably offer up a house to Al if he asked for one as well. Al's house is much more modest though.
Roy cleared his voice. "Alphonse."
Al looked at him with dull bronze eyes. One eyebrow lifted up inquiringly.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Al smiled, but there was no friendliness or warmth in it.
"You seem…" began Roy then stopped. "I'm a bit worried about your interest in chimera research. Your brother hated the idea of chimeras."
Roy comes off as a nice concerned person here, doesn't he? Hah
"As you have so often told me, I'm not my brother." Roy again looked at Al's dark brown clothes. They seemed a bit stained. Was that a bruise on his wrist?
Foreshadowing again. And here is a hint that there might be more wrong with Al than just a cold heart.
"Is General Hakuro treating you well?"
"Quite. As long as I do what he tells me to, he leaves me alone. Unlike you." Al put a hand on his hip. "I'm not transferring back."
Roy's mouth went dry. "No. I didn't think you would be. It's just I'm worried about you."
So, we know the rest of the brass doesn't care for Al's needs and are perfectly content to give him enough rope to hang himself, now we get into why Al didn’t turn to Roy for help either, even though he seems to care.
"Don't be." Al idly played with his ponytail. The light hit his face in a way that played up the softness of his cheeks. A soft introspective smile graced his face. For a second Roy saw the old Al there.
"It's been a while," said Roy, feeling strangely nervous as he broached the awkward subject. "Do you need--?"
"No," said Al hastily. He'd gone cold again, all trace of smile gone. "We are through. I don't think I'll be 'needing' to sleep with you ever again."
Bad Roy. Bad, bad, bad Roy.
Now the whole focus of this fic is to justify Al's sudden change in character. It's character rape, yes, but not really BAD character rape. It can kinda be forgiven.
Unfortunately, what I do with Roy here is pretty much out of the blue. My only justification is that it makes the fic work, which by anyone's definition is canon rape.
In the manga and the anime, Roy is NOT a pederast. He's a nice man, a bit on the cold side, and admittedly a bit of a jerk at times, but deep down caring and sweet.
But caring and sweet didn't fit my fic idea here, so, bend over Roy and take it like a man. Voila, you now have a thing for little boys. No, no, don't thank me, all in a days work and all.
I really tried to get into the pederast's mind set for the next bit. After all, pederasts don't THINK that they are bad people, or that they are harming their victims. So here I slip into unreliable narrator mode, and hope my readers can pick up enough of the clues to realize what Roy is actually doing.
Al had wanted be seduced, Roy was sure of it. The boy had practically begged for it.
He remembered the way the twelve year old had stared at him during his reports, those huge eyes of his full of longing. Roy could practically smell the pent up hormones. That deep need was the only thing not focused on his brother, the one handle to pull him away from that unnatural and unhealthy obsession.
Everything in those days was about Edward, to the point where Al neglected himself terribly. Roy knew he had to distract the kid somehow, bring him back from that crazy precipice, give him someone else to love, so that when, eventually, the boy gave up trying to resurrect Fullmetal, he'd have a reason to go on.
Roy had been doing the kid a favor.
This is utter bullshit. Yes, let's blame the victim. Al seduced him. Roy did it for Al's benefit. In fact, Roy was morally obligated to have sex with his underage underling. Just because Roy was the adult and the superior officer doesn't mean he's responsible. No it's all the 12 year old's fault.
Sure there had been some confusion when Roy had visited his dorm room, and when Roy had caught Al's arm and playfully pushed him against the wall, the kid had been angry. There was always reluctance and fear the first time -- it was simply natural. But Roy was gentle and good, and kissed away his protests.
And now Roy is justifying rather violently raping Al. Yeah, being pushed into a wall is a "playful" act. Al's objections were just normal jitters. Roy was being gentle and good. Crap. Utter crap.
Roy had kept up a quiet monologue through the whole thing, explaining exactly what he was doing and why, and how Al's body would react, just so that Al would be reassured and nothing would come as a surprise.
"Did you do this with Niisan, too?" Al had asked as Roy helped him to the bed.
"Yes, and he enjoyed it a lot. Just the way you will. I promise."
The rest of his words hardly mattered. After he'd admitted he'd slept with Ed, Al had embraced the idea of sex with enthusiasm.
Roy "helping" Al to the bed is another hint that this wasn't consensual. Unfortunately, Al's unhealthy obsession with his brother undoes him here, though I wouldn't trust Roy's word that Al actually became enthusiastic about the idea.
Roy had wondered when he'd overstepped the line with Al. There was no one incident that seemed to throw Al over the edge. Just one day about three months back Al had requested transfer from his command. He wanted to go exclusively into research, and since that was not Roy's area, the transfer was necessary.
If anything it should have made their relationship easier. Fraternization was against code. It was a relief when they were no longer violating the rules. But instead of making things easier, they had drifted apart.
Al finally found a way out from under Roy. This should have been a good thing, but, cue the irony, it wasn't, because, had he stayed under Roy, he wouldn't have been able to make the horrible mistake with Ed.
Perhaps it was when Al stopped trying to emulate his brother that their relationship truly ended. Perhaps the teen figured what they had was simply a reflection of what Roy had once had with Fullmetal. Perhaps that dead look in his eyes was the boy giving up on life, shoving it all aside.
Roy jumps to wrong conclusions here. Al stopped emulating his brother when he brought his brother back and no longer needed to anymore - but Roy doesn't know this yet, and this explanation gives Roy a reason to indulge his sexual preferences again.
No, Roy couldn't have that. He was responsible for Al, as his sponsor, and friend. He loved the kid. He wouldn't allow him to slide in despair.
Despite what Al had said about not wanting him, Roy knew he needed to visit the teen and respark the flame. Give him the will to live. Bring back the light in his eyes.
It was his duty.
It's Roy's duty to force Al into a sexual relationship against his will - GAH! If I didn't know that people actually sold this kind of crap to themselves I'd think that my audience would have trouble suspending their disbelief for this statement.
Roy looked at the house that the military had given Al to be his home and lab. It was a bit isolated out in the countryside. Roy worried about Al even more. The bodies had been found not too far from this area - would Al be able to defend himself? The kid was a tough fighter yes, but still so thin and small and vulnerable. There was no invincible armor at his side to come to his rescue.
Roy rang the bell and waited. It seemed a long time before he heard the sound of a deadbolt being pulled and Al peeked through a crack out at him. There was a moment's pause and then Al opened the door fully.
"Come in," he said and then stepped back to let the older Alchemist past.
Roy's mind had been full of persuasive arguments, everything from cold reason to physically reminding Al of how good it felt to be held down and stroked and kissed to sweaty ecstasy. But as soon as he entered the house and got a good look at Al, all of those thoughts fled.
In other words, Roy was going to talk Al into sleeping with him and if that didn't work, he was just going to over power him and rape him again. But it sounds much nicer the way Roy put it.
Al had changed into a tank top and shorts. Across his arms and legs and throat were long thin bruises, some fresh, some green with age. There was a fresh pink mark on his upper cheek that hadn't been there at the meeting that morning.
Roy noticed that Al walked tenderly.
"I'm glad you came," Al said. "I've thought about what you said earlier, and maybe I was too hasty saying 'never.'"
Bad timing, Roy. Al needs to sacrifice another victim to his brother, and you just volunteered yourself.
"Did a lover give you those marks?" asked Roy, ignoring Al's conciliatory overture.
Al stopped in the hall and turned his head just a bit, but didn't fully face Roy. "Yes," he said after a moment.
Ok, personally, I find it a little funny that two of the most popular people to waffishly pair with Al are Roy and Ed, and here I take those popular pairings and turn them on their ear. Poor Al, he's just not lucky in love in this fic.
Everything made sense then. Al's sudden coldness, their break up, even the change in clothing style could be at this other's insistence. Roy wondered with anger who the abusive rival was. "He is no good for you. You need to break it off."
I love the irony of Roy's outrage. Abuse at Roy's hands is fine, but how dare anyone else touch Roy's property Al.
Al continued walking, leading Roy to the kitchen. "It's not that easy, Roy. You see, it's my fault he is this way. He honestly doesn't want to hurt me. He loves me, but… " Al fetched a cup from the cupboard. "Would you like some tea? I was just having a cup when you arrived, the water is still warm."
"Sure," said Roy. Roy looked around the kitchen while Al poured the tea. It seemed tidy, quaint and homey. He turned back as Al stirred the sugar in. "You aren't responsible for his behavior," Roy said.
Er… how convenient of Roy to look away while Al puts something in his tea, huh.
"I wish that were true. Ordinarily I'd agree with you, but it's just not the case here. It is completely my fault he is the way he is. I thought I was as bright as my brother -- that I could do this sort of thing without him, but I couldn't. My idea was flawed. I'm trying to make up for it. I'm working as hard as I can, and there is some improvement, but it still isn't right yet."
Al handed him the tea. Roy sipped it without really tasting, his mind was too taken up with what Al was saying. "What is going on here, Al? Please be clear so I can help you."
Al's eyes were on Roy's cup. "I brought him back, Roy."
Roy stared. "Who?"
"My brother. Not all of him. Just his soul. I used the same array that had been on me. Only I didn't want him to be stuck in unfeeling armor, so I made him a body. Not a homunculus, a real body."
"A chimera."
"Yes." The boy sighed. "I wanted him to be able to feel, the way I apparently couldn't. And I figured that I could reshape it to be better suited to him. Maybe he wouldn't stand out in a crowd like a freak the way I did all those years. Since it was made up of animal flesh I figured there was no soul for him to displace."
Um… let's put aside the metaphysical argument about whether animals have souls for a moment. Here we finally get to why Al's behavior has changed.
"Did it work?"
"Yes. Sort of." Al met Roy's eyes. "It IS him. He remembers everything. He talks the same, but the reshaping arrays haven't worked out the way I had hoped. He is helping me make them better, but sometimes there are … bizarre side effects. He's not ready to be out in public yet."
"Human transmutation is a dangerous thing, Alphonse." Roy looked Al over. "What did you give up for his soul? I don't see anything missing."
Al shrugged. "That's the thing, the gate didn't TAKE anything from me. I offered up my arm, just the way he had, but the gate didn't take it." Al gazed on him with empty eyes.
Nothing but his soul, that is. Now while I thought it was obvious what the Gate took, apparently it wasn't to my readers. Anyway, Al's soul is gone, offered up to the Gate in exchange for his brothers, and that's why he's grown so callous.
Roy finished the tea. This didn't seem right, but Roy's mind was strangely foggy.
"Would you like some more?" Al asked.
Roy shook his head, it hadn't tasted that good and this conversation made his stomach a bit queasy.
"I owed him, Roy. After all he'd sacrificed for me, I owed it to him to bring him back. And now I owe it to him to make him better. He has needs. Powerful needs. And I just can't satisfy him by myself. I've tried."
Poor Al. What a mess he's gotten himself into.
Al stood up. "That's where I was hoping you could help me."
"Whatever I can do," offered Roy uncertainly.
Okay, he's drugged at this point, that's the reason why he doesn't immediately realize what Al has in mind. Still, that was a dumb offer.
"And I figure you owe it to us, considering what you did."
Roy frowned, there was that coldness in Al's voice again. "What I did? What did I do?"
Al's eyes were icy. "You really don't know, do you?"
Roy blinked. The room had gone somewhat hazy and his skin felt strangely numb. "No, I don't."
"You loved us." Al made it sound like a sin.
The room swam and went dark.
Well, "loved" is probably not the correct word. Maybe screwed us over, so it's our turn to do the same to you.
Roy woke up, cold and naked, on a hard bed with heaviness about his wrists. He looked up and found his hands cuffed and chained to two rings deeply embedded in the concrete at the head of the bed. Roy blinked. It was a dim in the windowless basement. He heard a watery sloshing sound from nearby. He turned his head and saw a large vat dripping with condensation.
You didn’t think I could get through a fic without indulging in my fetish for bondage did you?
"You are awake, " said Al. Roy turned and saw the boy sitting on the steps leading up the first floor. "That's good. I've talked to Niisan and he says he forgives you for the things you did to him. He promised to be gentle with you."
The whole Brother vs. Niisan debate… I actually thought about this for a while. The problem is that niisan doesn't really translate. Brother is close, but it just sounds kinda corny. Though I hate sticking fangirl Japanese in the middle of the fic, I kind of justify it by the fact that Niisan is used by the fansubbers. Either way it's not really satisfactory.
"Gentle?" Roy pulled the chains. They were firmly fixed.
"Gentle," repeated Al. "The way he is with me. Not like how he was to those other people. And now that you are here, maybe he won't need me to lure others in. That would be nice. It's getting harder to dispose of the bodies."
And now everything is revealed. The end mirrors the discussion of the mangled raped bodies in the beginning. Al's definition of "gentle" here also matches Roy's use of the word when he was violently raping Al in the flashback.
Roy's mind turned to the raped and mangled bodies Al had so coldly described in the meeting. "The psychopath… that was Ed?"
"He got carried away with them. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I made him the way he is."
The vat sloshed again, louder.
"He has a hard time keeping his shape. But we are getting better. You can help us, " said Al. "It will be in your interest to get him back to normal. It will hurt less."
Again I'm trying to mirror the flashback here. Being cooperative with his rapists is in Roy's "best interest" in the same way that yielding to Roy's lust was in Al's "best interest."
Something slid over the side of the tank. It was too dim to really see, but it looked long and slithery.
Roy turned back to Al who now hugged his knees like a little boy. "What the hell is that? What animals did you use?"
"A variety of things. Squid, jelly fish, monkey, rabbit, snake, everything I had on hand at the time- I figured I'd reshape it, so it didn't matter. And I did reshape it. It looked like Niisan when I attached his soul… but his form slips from time to time, especially when he is upset or… needy. "
Yes, I do like Clive Barker.
Here is where the true squick kicks in. Pederasty is nasty, so is rape, but pretty tolerable and frequently done. Sex with monsters, especially when it promises to be rather painful and unnatural, now that will crawl under most people's skin. The idea that Ed looks like Ed except when he needs sex is also kind of squicky on several levels. You gotta feel kind of sorry for Ed here.
An arm, surprisingly human, peeked up over the top of the vat. It gripped the edge then hauled itself up. Then another arm followed, and disconcertingly a leg, curling up over the edge to the knee. Roy swallowed dryly.
"Al, please, I'll help you and your brother if you release me."
"I can't do that Roy," said Al. "You'll just try to run away, or hurt him."
No mercy for Roy.
Another tentacle slid over the side and then suddenly a fat, dark blob followed it, falling to the cement floor with wet smack. The two arms and leg scrabbled ineffectively for a moment, then they seem to coordinate, pushing the mass towards the bed. Roy could see more features now, dark fur in places, and pale skin in others. There was a knob about the size of a head covered with long stringy blond hair.
"I try to keep him satisfied, but it's too much for just me, " said Al. "I tire too easily."
Just twisting the screws here a bit.
Roy's gorge rose. The thing pushed itself closer foot by foot. The head rose up and Roy could see Ed's face perfectly rendered. The soul array stood out red on its forehead. A long, wet lock of hair hung between its eyes, snaking along the nose, around the smiling mouth and past the chin.
"He's missed you."
Roy pulled harder at the chains. "Al," he said, angrily. "Don't let him touch me! This is wrong!"
Al just cocked his head. "But it wasn't when you wanted it? It didn't matter what me or Niisan said, did it? It was ok because you were horny. Well Niisan is horny, and I'm too tired and sore, so it's time for you to return the favor."
"That was different, " said Roy with desperation. It had been, damn it. The boys had wanted it. Roy had been sure. "You needed it, to distract you from your obsessions, to release your tension. You came every time. You enjoyed it. You liked it."
Al smiled, and looked on Roy with those strangely hollow eyes. "You'll learn to like this, too. I have."
Again mirroring what Roy did to Al and Ed. But Roy, to the end, can't see that.
Roy felt the hand curl around his ankle and then the blob pulled up onto the bed. He felt the moist weight undulating against his thighs and up over his torso. The rub of soft wet fur against his skin was curiously pleasant. Though he couldn't see it, he felt the burning hard length of an erection against his thigh. The head hovered over Roy's a second and then for the first time it talked.
"I love you," Ed said. Then he lowered his mouth and stifled Roy's screams.
What? Ed's just being "gentle and good" and kissing away Roy's protests!
Anyway, I'm kind of proud of the way this fic came out, despite the gross canon rape. This turned out more tightly focused than most of my fics, and it was full of parallels and irony which helps make for a satisfying story.
Or not... let's live dangerously!
devils_devotion asked for a directors commentary on the Squick fic I wrote for her contest, so here goes:
TITLE: Need THE DIRECTORS COMMENTARY VERSION
PAIRING: Al x Ed x Roy
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Pedophilia, Rape, Bondage, kidnapping, drugs, disturbing sexual content, disturbing imagery, Spoilers for the end of the series and movie, sorta, NOT BRAIN SAFE!
Word count: 2948
First off, if you haven't read this fic, STOP RIGHT NOW and read it Here first. There are a lot of twists and turns that will be utterly spoiled if you read this commentary before reading the fic.
Ok, some back ground. Orriginally this fic was written to be my squick entry in devils_devotion's Squick Contest. What happened there is she gave us 3 weeks to write a fic. I spent 2 1/2 of those weeks toiling over a fic that was ultimately NOT squicky. After working and reworking that fic, I gave up and dashed this off in an afternoon… because that's apparently how these things work. Gah!!!! While this was MORE squicky than Gifts, it still wasn't squicky enough to win the contest, but… it's still pretty squicky… don't kid yourself. There are some blech moments here.
When Al stopped wearing Ed's clothes, Roy had breathed a sigh of relief. Obsession was normal for the Elric brothers, but Al's homage to his brother just didn't seem healthy. However, after a month, Roy found himself reassessing. Perhaps the change in costume wasn't such a good sign after all.
Here I set the scene, the theme, and introduce the main characters and the problem for the fic. The characters, are, naturally, Al, Roy and Ed. By mentioning Al's clothes, the reader knows that this is an AU set after the Anime, but ignoring (for the most sake) the movie. The theme, is unhealthy obsession. The problem is figuring out what has happened to Al. Like all my better fics this has something of a Thesis statement implied in it - Al's change in behavior is not a good sign.
Something was wrong with Al. He looked normal, and his mind was just as agile as ever, but there was a distance to the eyes that hadn't been there before. Roy listened to the kid describe in horrific detail the bodies of corpses raped, broken and bruised, covered with long strings of sores that resembled those left by a jelly fish. Through the entire report, Al never twitched an eye.
Here I elaborate on the problem: Al has become cold and uncaring. In the Anime, Al was always the conscience of Team Elric, being supportive and caring and a moral guide to everyone he comes across. Now all of a sudden he doesn't seem to care about people being killed and debauched in a horrible ways. This paragraph also serves to foreshadow the ending of the fic at the same time.
Roy looked at the others gathered around the long table. None of them seemed to think there was anything out of the ordinary about the young alchemist's behavior. Al's immediate superior seemed, if anything, pleased by his matter-of-factness.
A secondary theme in this is the way members of the Military use the Elrics for their own selfish purposes, without regard to their well being. This also establishes that the only one who can get to the bottom of this mystery is Roy, because no one else sees it as a problem.
"Major Elric," said General Hakuro, "Do you believe this is the work of chimera? Or an Alchemist."
Staring the man straight in the eye, Al said, "Honestly, it looks like a regular psychopath to me. I see nothing intrinsically alchemical or chimerical in the injuries."
Of course, the irony is that the murderer is both an alchemist and a chimera. Al is throwing up disinformation to protect himself and Ed, which is somewhat smart, but kind of clumsily done here. Luckily for Al, the brass here is being really stupid, because, um, since when did jelly-fish like injuries fit an ordinary psychopathic MO?
When had Al gotten so stony? Not even as armor had he been that hard.
Al had always been the calm, reasonable brother, but even as armor he'd maintained a tender streak. The fourteen year old should have been appalled and disturbed by this experience. Instead, he had merely rattled off the details of his investigation as one might an ordinary milk run.
The kid had seen a lot… had done a lot… but to be so cold all of a sudden… Roy frowned.
Now that I've foreshadowed, I attempt to distract the reader from Al's clearly absurd statement by focusing back on his behavior.
"Do you have an idea why this psychopath would be doing this? What is his pattern? Who is he?" Hakuro asked.
"That would be someone else's job to figure out, sir," said Al. "Now if you don't mind, I have a time-sensitive experiment going back in my lab. If there are no more questions…"
"You may go, Major Elric," said Hakuro. "Your expertise on chimeras is invaluable, but your experiments are more important." Al nodded and stood up.
Roy stood with him, "If you don't mind, General," he said out of courtesy.
"Not at all, " said Hakuro, "This meeting is over."
This was me quitting the scene as quickly and gracefully as I could, and setting up for the next scene, where Roy confronts Al about his change in behavior.
Roy caught up with Al in the hall. The teen was using the phone, calling for a ride to take him back to his house. Roy waited until he hung up.
Of course, Al would need privacy for what he's been doing, therefore he has a house, rather than living in a dorm. Also I figure if the brass would give Tucker a huge house for his Chimera research, they'd probably offer up a house to Al if he asked for one as well. Al's house is much more modest though.
Roy cleared his voice. "Alphonse."
Al looked at him with dull bronze eyes. One eyebrow lifted up inquiringly.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Al smiled, but there was no friendliness or warmth in it.
"You seem…" began Roy then stopped. "I'm a bit worried about your interest in chimera research. Your brother hated the idea of chimeras."
Roy comes off as a nice concerned person here, doesn't he? Hah
"As you have so often told me, I'm not my brother." Roy again looked at Al's dark brown clothes. They seemed a bit stained. Was that a bruise on his wrist?
Foreshadowing again. And here is a hint that there might be more wrong with Al than just a cold heart.
"Is General Hakuro treating you well?"
"Quite. As long as I do what he tells me to, he leaves me alone. Unlike you." Al put a hand on his hip. "I'm not transferring back."
Roy's mouth went dry. "No. I didn't think you would be. It's just I'm worried about you."
So, we know the rest of the brass doesn't care for Al's needs and are perfectly content to give him enough rope to hang himself, now we get into why Al didn’t turn to Roy for help either, even though he seems to care.
"Don't be." Al idly played with his ponytail. The light hit his face in a way that played up the softness of his cheeks. A soft introspective smile graced his face. For a second Roy saw the old Al there.
"It's been a while," said Roy, feeling strangely nervous as he broached the awkward subject. "Do you need--?"
"No," said Al hastily. He'd gone cold again, all trace of smile gone. "We are through. I don't think I'll be 'needing' to sleep with you ever again."
Bad Roy. Bad, bad, bad Roy.
Now the whole focus of this fic is to justify Al's sudden change in character. It's character rape, yes, but not really BAD character rape. It can kinda be forgiven.
Unfortunately, what I do with Roy here is pretty much out of the blue. My only justification is that it makes the fic work, which by anyone's definition is canon rape.
In the manga and the anime, Roy is NOT a pederast. He's a nice man, a bit on the cold side, and admittedly a bit of a jerk at times, but deep down caring and sweet.
But caring and sweet didn't fit my fic idea here, so, bend over Roy and take it like a man. Voila, you now have a thing for little boys. No, no, don't thank me, all in a days work and all.
I really tried to get into the pederast's mind set for the next bit. After all, pederasts don't THINK that they are bad people, or that they are harming their victims. So here I slip into unreliable narrator mode, and hope my readers can pick up enough of the clues to realize what Roy is actually doing.
Al had wanted be seduced, Roy was sure of it. The boy had practically begged for it.
He remembered the way the twelve year old had stared at him during his reports, those huge eyes of his full of longing. Roy could practically smell the pent up hormones. That deep need was the only thing not focused on his brother, the one handle to pull him away from that unnatural and unhealthy obsession.
Everything in those days was about Edward, to the point where Al neglected himself terribly. Roy knew he had to distract the kid somehow, bring him back from that crazy precipice, give him someone else to love, so that when, eventually, the boy gave up trying to resurrect Fullmetal, he'd have a reason to go on.
Roy had been doing the kid a favor.
This is utter bullshit. Yes, let's blame the victim. Al seduced him. Roy did it for Al's benefit. In fact, Roy was morally obligated to have sex with his underage underling. Just because Roy was the adult and the superior officer doesn't mean he's responsible. No it's all the 12 year old's fault.
Sure there had been some confusion when Roy had visited his dorm room, and when Roy had caught Al's arm and playfully pushed him against the wall, the kid had been angry. There was always reluctance and fear the first time -- it was simply natural. But Roy was gentle and good, and kissed away his protests.
And now Roy is justifying rather violently raping Al. Yeah, being pushed into a wall is a "playful" act. Al's objections were just normal jitters. Roy was being gentle and good. Crap. Utter crap.
Roy had kept up a quiet monologue through the whole thing, explaining exactly what he was doing and why, and how Al's body would react, just so that Al would be reassured and nothing would come as a surprise.
"Did you do this with Niisan, too?" Al had asked as Roy helped him to the bed.
"Yes, and he enjoyed it a lot. Just the way you will. I promise."
The rest of his words hardly mattered. After he'd admitted he'd slept with Ed, Al had embraced the idea of sex with enthusiasm.
Roy "helping" Al to the bed is another hint that this wasn't consensual. Unfortunately, Al's unhealthy obsession with his brother undoes him here, though I wouldn't trust Roy's word that Al actually became enthusiastic about the idea.
Roy had wondered when he'd overstepped the line with Al. There was no one incident that seemed to throw Al over the edge. Just one day about three months back Al had requested transfer from his command. He wanted to go exclusively into research, and since that was not Roy's area, the transfer was necessary.
If anything it should have made their relationship easier. Fraternization was against code. It was a relief when they were no longer violating the rules. But instead of making things easier, they had drifted apart.
Al finally found a way out from under Roy. This should have been a good thing, but, cue the irony, it wasn't, because, had he stayed under Roy, he wouldn't have been able to make the horrible mistake with Ed.
Perhaps it was when Al stopped trying to emulate his brother that their relationship truly ended. Perhaps the teen figured what they had was simply a reflection of what Roy had once had with Fullmetal. Perhaps that dead look in his eyes was the boy giving up on life, shoving it all aside.
Roy jumps to wrong conclusions here. Al stopped emulating his brother when he brought his brother back and no longer needed to anymore - but Roy doesn't know this yet, and this explanation gives Roy a reason to indulge his sexual preferences again.
No, Roy couldn't have that. He was responsible for Al, as his sponsor, and friend. He loved the kid. He wouldn't allow him to slide in despair.
Despite what Al had said about not wanting him, Roy knew he needed to visit the teen and respark the flame. Give him the will to live. Bring back the light in his eyes.
It was his duty.
It's Roy's duty to force Al into a sexual relationship against his will - GAH! If I didn't know that people actually sold this kind of crap to themselves I'd think that my audience would have trouble suspending their disbelief for this statement.
Roy looked at the house that the military had given Al to be his home and lab. It was a bit isolated out in the countryside. Roy worried about Al even more. The bodies had been found not too far from this area - would Al be able to defend himself? The kid was a tough fighter yes, but still so thin and small and vulnerable. There was no invincible armor at his side to come to his rescue.
Roy rang the bell and waited. It seemed a long time before he heard the sound of a deadbolt being pulled and Al peeked through a crack out at him. There was a moment's pause and then Al opened the door fully.
"Come in," he said and then stepped back to let the older Alchemist past.
Roy's mind had been full of persuasive arguments, everything from cold reason to physically reminding Al of how good it felt to be held down and stroked and kissed to sweaty ecstasy. But as soon as he entered the house and got a good look at Al, all of those thoughts fled.
In other words, Roy was going to talk Al into sleeping with him and if that didn't work, he was just going to over power him and rape him again. But it sounds much nicer the way Roy put it.
Al had changed into a tank top and shorts. Across his arms and legs and throat were long thin bruises, some fresh, some green with age. There was a fresh pink mark on his upper cheek that hadn't been there at the meeting that morning.
Roy noticed that Al walked tenderly.
"I'm glad you came," Al said. "I've thought about what you said earlier, and maybe I was too hasty saying 'never.'"
Bad timing, Roy. Al needs to sacrifice another victim to his brother, and you just volunteered yourself.
"Did a lover give you those marks?" asked Roy, ignoring Al's conciliatory overture.
Al stopped in the hall and turned his head just a bit, but didn't fully face Roy. "Yes," he said after a moment.
Ok, personally, I find it a little funny that two of the most popular people to waffishly pair with Al are Roy and Ed, and here I take those popular pairings and turn them on their ear. Poor Al, he's just not lucky in love in this fic.
Everything made sense then. Al's sudden coldness, their break up, even the change in clothing style could be at this other's insistence. Roy wondered with anger who the abusive rival was. "He is no good for you. You need to break it off."
I love the irony of Roy's outrage. Abuse at Roy's hands is fine, but how dare anyone else touch Roy's property Al.
Al continued walking, leading Roy to the kitchen. "It's not that easy, Roy. You see, it's my fault he is this way. He honestly doesn't want to hurt me. He loves me, but… " Al fetched a cup from the cupboard. "Would you like some tea? I was just having a cup when you arrived, the water is still warm."
"Sure," said Roy. Roy looked around the kitchen while Al poured the tea. It seemed tidy, quaint and homey. He turned back as Al stirred the sugar in. "You aren't responsible for his behavior," Roy said.
Er… how convenient of Roy to look away while Al puts something in his tea, huh.
"I wish that were true. Ordinarily I'd agree with you, but it's just not the case here. It is completely my fault he is the way he is. I thought I was as bright as my brother -- that I could do this sort of thing without him, but I couldn't. My idea was flawed. I'm trying to make up for it. I'm working as hard as I can, and there is some improvement, but it still isn't right yet."
Al handed him the tea. Roy sipped it without really tasting, his mind was too taken up with what Al was saying. "What is going on here, Al? Please be clear so I can help you."
Al's eyes were on Roy's cup. "I brought him back, Roy."
Roy stared. "Who?"
"My brother. Not all of him. Just his soul. I used the same array that had been on me. Only I didn't want him to be stuck in unfeeling armor, so I made him a body. Not a homunculus, a real body."
"A chimera."
"Yes." The boy sighed. "I wanted him to be able to feel, the way I apparently couldn't. And I figured that I could reshape it to be better suited to him. Maybe he wouldn't stand out in a crowd like a freak the way I did all those years. Since it was made up of animal flesh I figured there was no soul for him to displace."
Um… let's put aside the metaphysical argument about whether animals have souls for a moment. Here we finally get to why Al's behavior has changed.
"Did it work?"
"Yes. Sort of." Al met Roy's eyes. "It IS him. He remembers everything. He talks the same, but the reshaping arrays haven't worked out the way I had hoped. He is helping me make them better, but sometimes there are … bizarre side effects. He's not ready to be out in public yet."
"Human transmutation is a dangerous thing, Alphonse." Roy looked Al over. "What did you give up for his soul? I don't see anything missing."
Al shrugged. "That's the thing, the gate didn't TAKE anything from me. I offered up my arm, just the way he had, but the gate didn't take it." Al gazed on him with empty eyes.
Nothing but his soul, that is. Now while I thought it was obvious what the Gate took, apparently it wasn't to my readers. Anyway, Al's soul is gone, offered up to the Gate in exchange for his brothers, and that's why he's grown so callous.
Roy finished the tea. This didn't seem right, but Roy's mind was strangely foggy.
"Would you like some more?" Al asked.
Roy shook his head, it hadn't tasted that good and this conversation made his stomach a bit queasy.
"I owed him, Roy. After all he'd sacrificed for me, I owed it to him to bring him back. And now I owe it to him to make him better. He has needs. Powerful needs. And I just can't satisfy him by myself. I've tried."
Poor Al. What a mess he's gotten himself into.
Al stood up. "That's where I was hoping you could help me."
"Whatever I can do," offered Roy uncertainly.
Okay, he's drugged at this point, that's the reason why he doesn't immediately realize what Al has in mind. Still, that was a dumb offer.
"And I figure you owe it to us, considering what you did."
Roy frowned, there was that coldness in Al's voice again. "What I did? What did I do?"
Al's eyes were icy. "You really don't know, do you?"
Roy blinked. The room had gone somewhat hazy and his skin felt strangely numb. "No, I don't."
"You loved us." Al made it sound like a sin.
The room swam and went dark.
Well, "loved" is probably not the correct word. Maybe screwed us over, so it's our turn to do the same to you.
Roy woke up, cold and naked, on a hard bed with heaviness about his wrists. He looked up and found his hands cuffed and chained to two rings deeply embedded in the concrete at the head of the bed. Roy blinked. It was a dim in the windowless basement. He heard a watery sloshing sound from nearby. He turned his head and saw a large vat dripping with condensation.
You didn’t think I could get through a fic without indulging in my fetish for bondage did you?
"You are awake, " said Al. Roy turned and saw the boy sitting on the steps leading up the first floor. "That's good. I've talked to Niisan and he says he forgives you for the things you did to him. He promised to be gentle with you."
The whole Brother vs. Niisan debate… I actually thought about this for a while. The problem is that niisan doesn't really translate. Brother is close, but it just sounds kinda corny. Though I hate sticking fangirl Japanese in the middle of the fic, I kind of justify it by the fact that Niisan is used by the fansubbers. Either way it's not really satisfactory.
"Gentle?" Roy pulled the chains. They were firmly fixed.
"Gentle," repeated Al. "The way he is with me. Not like how he was to those other people. And now that you are here, maybe he won't need me to lure others in. That would be nice. It's getting harder to dispose of the bodies."
And now everything is revealed. The end mirrors the discussion of the mangled raped bodies in the beginning. Al's definition of "gentle" here also matches Roy's use of the word when he was violently raping Al in the flashback.
Roy's mind turned to the raped and mangled bodies Al had so coldly described in the meeting. "The psychopath… that was Ed?"
"He got carried away with them. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I made him the way he is."
The vat sloshed again, louder.
"He has a hard time keeping his shape. But we are getting better. You can help us, " said Al. "It will be in your interest to get him back to normal. It will hurt less."
Again I'm trying to mirror the flashback here. Being cooperative with his rapists is in Roy's "best interest" in the same way that yielding to Roy's lust was in Al's "best interest."
Something slid over the side of the tank. It was too dim to really see, but it looked long and slithery.
Roy turned back to Al who now hugged his knees like a little boy. "What the hell is that? What animals did you use?"
"A variety of things. Squid, jelly fish, monkey, rabbit, snake, everything I had on hand at the time- I figured I'd reshape it, so it didn't matter. And I did reshape it. It looked like Niisan when I attached his soul… but his form slips from time to time, especially when he is upset or… needy. "
Yes, I do like Clive Barker.
Here is where the true squick kicks in. Pederasty is nasty, so is rape, but pretty tolerable and frequently done. Sex with monsters, especially when it promises to be rather painful and unnatural, now that will crawl under most people's skin. The idea that Ed looks like Ed except when he needs sex is also kind of squicky on several levels. You gotta feel kind of sorry for Ed here.
An arm, surprisingly human, peeked up over the top of the vat. It gripped the edge then hauled itself up. Then another arm followed, and disconcertingly a leg, curling up over the edge to the knee. Roy swallowed dryly.
"Al, please, I'll help you and your brother if you release me."
"I can't do that Roy," said Al. "You'll just try to run away, or hurt him."
No mercy for Roy.
Another tentacle slid over the side and then suddenly a fat, dark blob followed it, falling to the cement floor with wet smack. The two arms and leg scrabbled ineffectively for a moment, then they seem to coordinate, pushing the mass towards the bed. Roy could see more features now, dark fur in places, and pale skin in others. There was a knob about the size of a head covered with long stringy blond hair.
"I try to keep him satisfied, but it's too much for just me, " said Al. "I tire too easily."
Just twisting the screws here a bit.
Roy's gorge rose. The thing pushed itself closer foot by foot. The head rose up and Roy could see Ed's face perfectly rendered. The soul array stood out red on its forehead. A long, wet lock of hair hung between its eyes, snaking along the nose, around the smiling mouth and past the chin.
"He's missed you."
Roy pulled harder at the chains. "Al," he said, angrily. "Don't let him touch me! This is wrong!"
Al just cocked his head. "But it wasn't when you wanted it? It didn't matter what me or Niisan said, did it? It was ok because you were horny. Well Niisan is horny, and I'm too tired and sore, so it's time for you to return the favor."
"That was different, " said Roy with desperation. It had been, damn it. The boys had wanted it. Roy had been sure. "You needed it, to distract you from your obsessions, to release your tension. You came every time. You enjoyed it. You liked it."
Al smiled, and looked on Roy with those strangely hollow eyes. "You'll learn to like this, too. I have."
Again mirroring what Roy did to Al and Ed. But Roy, to the end, can't see that.
Roy felt the hand curl around his ankle and then the blob pulled up onto the bed. He felt the moist weight undulating against his thighs and up over his torso. The rub of soft wet fur against his skin was curiously pleasant. Though he couldn't see it, he felt the burning hard length of an erection against his thigh. The head hovered over Roy's a second and then for the first time it talked.
"I love you," Ed said. Then he lowered his mouth and stifled Roy's screams.
What? Ed's just being "gentle and good" and kissing away Roy's protests!
Anyway, I'm kind of proud of the way this fic came out, despite the gross canon rape. This turned out more tightly focused than most of my fics, and it was full of parallels and irony which helps make for a satisfying story.