Ling x Greed zoofic
Yep, it's zoofic, so it practically wrote itself. Why can't PETS come this easy?
TITLE: The Ling and the Greed
PAIRING: Guess really hard.
RATING: R
WARNING: If you aren't into zoofic this will make absolutely NO sense whatsoever.
Ling heard the commotion from living room and yawned a bit, then shrugged and went back to napping on the top of the bathroom vanity. It was probably his master's mate again. Well, he wasn't going to give up the sink one minute before that human came in and tossed him out.
"Mine! Mine, mine, mine. Oh, this is mine! And this! All mine!"
Ling blinked and sat up. "Hi?" he asked sleepily. "Hey, is someone there?" He swung his legs over the side of the vanity and dropped to the slightly mildewed bathroom carpet.
There was a bang outside in the hallway and then the bathroom door burst open. A large and forbidding creature with a black pelt and a fluffy white collar barreled into Ling. Ling's instincts kicked in immediately. He hardly felt the slight graze of sharp jagged teeth against his pelt before he leaped over the offensive creature and out into the hallway. The thing continued on it's trajectory until it banged into the wall, then turned around and started chasing.
Ling's nerves were afire. He scrambled through the living room where his human, Cheryl and her mate stood, carrying large boxes, over the back of the couch and into the kitchen. He could hear the predator racing after him, and Cheryl squalk with indignation.
Ling dashed into the kitchen, leaping onto the counter before jumping up to the top of the refrigerator and curling into a small ball. What the hell was that thing????
He could see the thing through the door, circling around the living room, sniffing at the couch, before bounding into the kitchen. It banged against the refrigerator, causing the appliance to shake a little, before it settled down and started pacing.
Whatever it was, it didn't seem to be able to climb. That was good.
Ling sniffed the air. The creature smelled like Bud, Cheryl's mate.
"Mine," it growled up at him. "This is my house. Who are you?"
Ling arched his back, making himself big. "I'm Ling," he proclaimed proudly, "And I beg to differ, but this is MY house. What are you and why are you here?"
"I'm Greed." Greed grinned at him. "You smell like my human's mate. Do you taste good? Are you sport? Come down! Come down and play with me!"
Ling crossed his arms. He was pretty sure now that the Greed couldn't climb up after him, and therefore he was safe. He arched his eyebrow in a very confident way. "Go away, you aren't wanted. This is my territory and I will defend it to the death!"
Unfortunately, the Greed didn't seem put off by Ling's confident declaration at all.
"Yes, come down and we can fight!"
Ling considered. As confident as his words were, he was a bit worried that maybe he didn't have the muscle to back them up. The Greed's teeth were awfully sharp, it was awfully big. Maybe he should have played dead instead and hoped the creature would just move on.
Cheryl suddenly stalked into the kitchen looking about as mad as Ling had ever seen her. She grabbed the Greed by it's neck. "BUD!! Put your pet outside! He's scaring my precious Lingy-poo!"
Greed turned and snarled at Cheryl. "He's mine! Mine! Let me at him! Let me go!"
Cheryl backed off quickly, then put her hands on her ample hips. "BUDDY MARTIN CONTROL YOUR PET RIGHT NOW."
Bud walked into the kitchen and looked down at Greed. He whistled. "Here boy." He patted his hip twice.
Greed turned and looked at the male human, then spun and looked back up at Ling, then turned back and circled around Cheryl's mate. "Mine?" he asked, nuzzling his head against the burly man's shirt.
"Out," said Bud, grabbing the Greed by it's furry collar and hauling it over to the kitchen door and out into the back yard. "Cheryl, get me his leash, it's in the box labeled Fishing Gear."
Outside the Greed continued to make a racket. "Mine! This is mine! Hey there human's you can't do this to me. I belong in there! Let me in! Take me off this thing. Mine!" Ling could hear some random crashing and banging.
Ling dropped smugly down form the fridge and sauntered into the Livingroom where Cheryl and Bud sat, on the sofa in front of the noisy-box. Ling climbed up onto Cheryl's lap and nuzzled her cheek. She petted him back. "Aw Lingy-poo, don't be scared by that mean old Greed, mama will keep you safe, yes she will!"
"Jeez, Cheryl," muttered Bud, "You are embarrassing me. That thing is way too proud looking to be called 'Lingy-poo.'"
Ling was somewhat inclined to agree with Bud, but as long as Cheryl cuddled him like this he wasn't about to object. He snuggled his face into her ample bosom, and she giggled happily in response. He licked the underside of her chin until she shook with laughter.
"Hey, Ling, that's my territory." Bud's large arm looped around Ling's waist and suddenly he was flying through the air. He landed deftly on his feet in front of the noisy box and then scrambled back to the fridge for safety.
"We need to make your Greed a kennel," said Cheryl suddenly. "I'm afraid he was going to hurt my Lingy… my Ling."
Bud sat heavily back down on the couch and grabbed his beer again. "No way babe,. My Greed sticks with me. I'll make a kennel for that pretty pet of yours though."
Cheryl gasped. "Bud, you are moving in with me not the other way around! My Ling has ALWAYS been an indoor Ling. I'm not putting him out in the cold."
"We'll I'm not putting my Greed out in the cold either!"
"Well MY Ling is delicate and rare! I had to mail order him all the way from San Jose!"
"You mail ordered him? I thought your daddy got him for you?" said Bud.
Ling cocked his head. He thought it was Cheryl's previous mate that had bought him, but maybe he was wrong.
"It - " huffed Cheryl and then stopped. "It doesn't matter who bought him, what's important is that he's my Lingy-poo and I don't want him hurt by your mean ole Greed."
"I love my pet, too Cheryl-Jo." Bud looked forbidding. "You can't get between a man and his Greed. That ain't right."
For a moment Ling watched them stare daggers at each other. Ling hoped that Bud would get up and leave with the Greed, but then he saw his human cave.
"Oh, Bud," said Cheryl. "I know you love your pet more than anything except me, but I'm afraid. If you can find someway to control your Greed and keep him away from my Ling, he can stay indoors."
Bud smiled and clicked the plastic button thingy that controlled the noisybox. "Hey, babe, don't you worry. My Greed is a well-trained beast. He won't hurt your Ling." He hooked his arm over Cheryl's shoulders.
"No," whimpered Ling. "Don't give in!"
But Cheryl just snuggled close. "Thanks Bud."
Ling spent the night on the fridge.
The next day, the Greed was back in the house. Ling didn't move from his perch. He was hungry, but he wasn't willing to face the Greed to get to his food bowl. Less than a minute after Greed was let in the house, Ling didn't have to worry about the food in his dish anyway, the Greed had greedily wolfed it down.
"Go away," hissed Ling, from the top of the refrigerator. "I rule here!"
Greed sniffed and rubbed his hands over the refrigerator door. Ling noticed his fingers darkening and heard the ominous sound of the metal door being punctured.
"Greed!" barked Bud. "Here boy, don't you go wrecking the icebox."
Greed whined a little but then retreated to his master's side. "Hey, boy," Bud continued in a softer tone. I got you something. You just hold still." He pulled a thick black collar with shiny silver studs out of a plastic bag.
"Ooh, you got me a gift? What is it! What is it! Oh, it's nice, I want that!" Greed perked up as Bud put the collar around his neck. "Look Ling I got a gift! I did good!"
Ling looked hopefully at the plastic bag in Bud's hand. Was their a gift for him in there, too? Apparently not, because Bud just crumpled it up and tossed in the trash under the sink.
Ling sulked.
Well this wasn't fair. Greed got a gift and he'd messed up the Cheryl's property. The Greed should have gotten a good spanking. Bud clearly favored the Greed over him. Well, he didn't care. He wouldn't want a gift from Cheryl's ugly mate anyway. He just wished Bud and Greed would go away and things could go back the way they were.
But Bud didn't go. "Hey, Ling, get down here." Then to Ling's complete dismay, the human grabbed his hand and pulled until he fell off the fridge. The human caught him easily in his arms. Ling quickly hooked his legs around Bud's hips and held onto his shoulders for dear life.
The Greed hesitated just a moment, stunned by the sight of his master holding another pet, then he leaped. "Hey, that's my human! Mine! Mine! Mine! I'll eat you! He's MINE!"
"Down boy," said Bud, shifting Ling easily onto one hip and holding him with one arm. "Down! No! You don't hurt Ling!" Then he hit a button on a little plastic thingy.
Suddenly Greed jerked "OW!!!!" He grabbed at the collar and pulled, but Bud hit the button again. "OW! OW! OW!"
"Down, Greed. Heel."
Greed reluctantly knelt on the floor, looking sullen and hurt. "Why?"
Bud lowered Ling to the floor. "Greed, this is our new home, and Cheryl and her Ling are family. We don't hurt family. We don't hurt what's ours. Do you understand?" Ling clung to his side.
Greed looked at the Ling and cocked his head. "Mine?"
"Yeah, boy, this here Ling is yours. He's rare and damn expensive -- you can't just buy a Ling at the mall you know. So you gotta be a good boy, and protect him. Keep him safe. Don't let anything happen to him. You understand?" Bud ran an affectionate hand through Ling's black bangs.
"Mine!" Greed said, firmly. He inched closer on his knees until he was at Ling's waist. Ling stared suspiciously at the preditor, leaping away suddenly when he felt Greed's tongue slide across his hand.
Ling leaped onto the counter and bristled, but Bud caught him and lowered him down to the floor next to Greed. "And you, boy, show me that you have something more going for you other than your pretty pelt and your high and mighty attitude. Greed here ain't gonna hurt you. Don't be such a scaredy-cat. Say hi to each other."
Ling frowned at Bud but then turned to Greed. "Hi."
"You are mine," said Greed.
"I'll bite you if you come close," Ling threatened.
"I'm not going to hurt you," said Greed looking wounded. "The human said you are mine. I don't hurt what's mine, even if you do look fun to hunt. You are pretty and rare. I like pretty and rare."
"Of course I'm rare and beautiful," said Ling. "I am a LING, the pet of Emporers!"
Greed snickered. Ling was annoyed by Greeds lack of respect, but he was beginning to have confidence that the Greed might not actually eat him. That was good.
Suddenly Cheryl entered the kitchen. She gasped and put her long red fingernails in front of her fire-engine red lips. "Is it alright?" she asked suddenly.
Bud wiped his hand on his tight white wife-beater. "Told you, babe, my Greed's well behaved. He does what I tell him to. Don't you, boy."
Greed looked at the human. "I own you." He then snuggled up against Bud. "Pet me!"
Ling rolled his eyes, as Bud scratched the back of Greed's head. "Well, someone is clearly owned," said Ling.
Greed smirked and sauntered over to Ling who backed hastily up to Cheryl. "Hey!" complained Ling and Cheryl at the same time, but Greed simply put his hands lightly on Ling's shoulders and nuzzled his ear. Ling's hair stood on end he felt Greed's warm breath, and his eardrum tickled under the soft voice.
"Mine."
"Never," said Ling with as much conviction as he could muster.
"Oh look," gushed Cheryl. "How cute! They like each other! Oh, see Ling, Greed here is just fine. You and he can be playmates and keep each other company when Bud and I are at work!"
Ling swallowed dryly.
The next several days were marked by a very unsteady truce. If either Cheryl or Bud were in the house, Ling and Greed pretended the other wasn't there. Greed spent most of his time either on the rug in front of the noisybox or else on the Bud and Cheryl's bed. Ling stretched across the back of the sofa or napped on a counter.
When Bud and Cheryl were gone, Ling would retreat to the top of the fridge and stay there no matter how much Greed taunted or pleaded for him to come down.
"I'm not going to eat you," said Greed.
"I don't trust you," said Ling. He was thirsty, but to get at his water dish or the sink, he'd have to go past Greed, who hadn't budged from the floor beneath the fridge since Bud and Cheryl had left for work that morning. Ling looked mournfully out the kitchen window. It was already dark. Surely the humans would be back soon.
"Oh, come down. I promise! I'm an honorable Greed you know. You are my Ling. I'm not going to hurt you. I know you are thirsty, go drink! I'm not going to stop you."
Ling looked at his water dish. "Go to another room," said Ling. "And then I'll come down."
"That's silly, but alright. I'll go into the living room." Greed turned around and to Ling's surprise he went back into the darkened living room and sat down on the rug in front of the noisybox.
Ling dropped quietly down from the fridge and hurried over to his dish. He lifted it up and drank deeply. It tasted marvelous. He'd almost drained it dry when he was roughly shoved from behind. "Hey!" Ling said, and made a mad dash for the top of the fridge again, but the Greed was ready for him and grabbed onto the back of his pelt with two hands and shoved him again, hard, to the floor. Ling felt the Greed's weight pinning him down, and it's teeth grazing the back of his exposed neck.
"You promised!" complained Ling.
"I didn't promise to STAY in the other room," said Greed. "Besides, you are boring up on top of that food box. I want to play with you. I'll let you go and you can run and I'll catch you again! That would be fun!"
The weight was off Ling's back. Ling jumped to his feet and hesitated a moment. The Greed was between him and the Fridge, so Ling turned and ran through the living room. Greed chased.
For five minutes Greed chased him through just about every room in the house. Ling suspected he was being herded, and that Greed was letting him escape in order to draw things out. Still Ling didn't dare slow down. Greed might still mean to eat him.
Ling knew the moment he ran into the bathroom that he'd made a terrible mistake, and sure enough, the Greed cornered him easily in the shower stall. Ling rose up and made himself big, putting up his hands to fight for his life.
"You can't fight me, I'm much stronger than you." said Greed, and pushed him up against the stall wall. While Ling struggled to free himself Greed covered Ling's neck and face with licks. "That was fun," he said after a while. "Let's do it again."
This time it was only three minutes before Greed cornered Ling again. And again Ling braced to feel those sharp teeth rip into his body, only to find Greed covering him with licks instead. "Why are you doing that?" Ling asked.
"You are supposed to be my playmate," said Greed. "That's what the female human said. Well I played with you and now we mate!"
"You aren't a Ling, I can't mate with you!" Ling struggled loose and ran off. This time it was a full fifteen minutes before Greed caught Ling again, this time on sofa. Greed's weight pressed down one Ling's back and he felt the creatures tongue curl into his ear.
"The humans give me many things," said Greed. "They give me food, and territory, and now they've given me you to be my mate. Cheryl is my human's mate, you are her pet, therefore you are my mate. Besides, you heard her yourself. She called you my playmate."
Unfortunately, Ling remembered Cheryl saying that. He craned his head around to look at the Greed. Cheryl had never let Ling down in the past. If she thought mating with Greed was a good idea, who was Ling to disagree.
Ling remembered seeing the older Ling's mate when he was a youngling back at the Ling mill. Usually three or four Ling's would start caressing each other, and gradually they'd move to grooming, playing with each other's hair, massaging each others backs. Then gradually over the course of the day they'd get around to kissing and fondling, and eventually they'd fuck with wild abandon. Ling had been too young to participate then, but he was old enough now. It looked rather interesting, and it was a lot better than getting chased and eaten.
"Oh very well, " said Ling, "But I still think it's kind of strange."
"Well me, too," said Greed, "But the humans seem to like to do it a lot, so it must be pretty entertaining. I have never done it before, but it can't be that hard."
"Okay, I know what to do," said Ling. "It's rather complicated but I'll talk you through it. First we have to compliment each other and braid each other's hair-" Ling noticed that Greed didn't have enough hair to braid. Nor did he have any particular qualities Ling felt like complimenting.
Greed grabbed Ling's lower pelt and pulled it down to his ankles in one swift movement. "Hair? Compliment?" Greed sounded genuinely perplexed. "What the fuck does that have to do with mating?"
"Well, how do Greed's do it?" asked Ling irritated.
"First we create this red goo in our mouths," Greed said confidently. "Then we push it into to our mates bottom with our tongues. That makes it all slippery, and makes our mate horny. Then we fuck. It's actually quite simple."
Ling looked alarmed. "That sounds rather gross. Besides, I can't make any red goo."
"That's fine, you have a bottom, that's all you need." Greed pushed Ling's face back into the sofa. "Just relax."
Cheryl flipped the light on and hooked her purse on the peg near the door. Bud stomped in behind her. "That was so yummy," she said, wiggling. "We haven't been to a restaurant in ages and ages and ages. And that place was so nice, they had table clothes and everything!"
Bud grinned and closed the door behind him. "You deserved it babe," he said into the back of her neck. Then he looked around the room. "Hey, boy, Greed, I got you some steak! Got some for Ling, too. Hey, critters!" Bud frowned perplexed. "Where the fuck are they? It's past their feeding time they should be hungry."
Cheryl walked towards the kitchen,and then turned around. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hung open. "Oh. My. GOD. Bud! Look what you Greed is doing to my Ling!"
Bud crossed the room and turned to see what she was yammering about. There on the couch was Ling with his butt in the air and Greed very obviously fucking the daylights out of him. The look on the Ling's face was a kind of a stunned surprise. The Greed grinned happily at Bud. "Mine!"
For a moment Bud didn't know what to do. Then he fumbled for the controller for the shock collar. He hesitated with his finger next to the button. On one hand, what the fuck was Greed doing fucking outside his species? That just went against nature. On the other, it's a cruel thing to stop a guy before he got his wad off. Especially since Greed wasn't likely to get any action from another source.
"Buddy, stop him! Look what he's doing to my poor Lingy-poo."
Buddy looked at the Ling again. Well, it didn't seem that unhappy. "I don't know, Cheryl. Your Ling seems to like it."
Ling whined and bucked his hips.
"BUD!" Cheryl stomped her foot.
"Oh all right!" Bud grabbed his Greed by his fluffy collar. "That's enough of that boy." Greed held on tighter to Ling, and thrust a few more times. "ENOUGH!" shouted Bud.
Greed got off of Ling and climbed off the couch to lick Bud's hand and then explore the doggy bag he was carrying. The moment Ling was free he pulled up his pants and dashed off to the kitchen. In seconds, he was back up on his usual retreat.
It took a while and some rare steak to coax Ling off of the refrigerator, but eventually Cheryl was able to do it. She took him back to the couch and petted his hair. He looked a bit disheveled but otherwise fine and he leaned into her caresses happily.
"You poor, poor little Lingy. I'm sorry I left you all alone with that mean old Greed."
Bud considered him for a moment. "Aw, Cheryl, leave up. Greed didn't hurt him. If he is a him. Maybe that Ling is a her." Bud suddenly grabbed Ling and pulled his pelt down a bit.
Nope. Ling was definitely a he.
"Don't be silly, Bud," said Cheryl pulling Ling's pelt back up. "ALL Lings are hes."
Bud cocked an eyebrow. "How the hell does that work? Where do the little Lings come from."
"They think that Lings might be her-- , uh, what's the word, hermetic. Like a girl and a boy, only they don't have any girl parts. But they mate with another Ling and then younglings appear. They aren't really sure how it works, it just does."
Bud looked skeptically at Cheryl. "I have no idea what you just said."
"It's alchemy. It's kinda like magic only it's science." Cheryl petted Ling. "I read all about in a book."
Bud looked even more skeptical. "What book was that?"
"The Princess and the Ling. It's my favorite book of all time. It's so well written and informative. And it has the most dreamy guy in it ever who has this Ling and he --"
"Wait," said Bud. "You learned everything you know about Lings from a romance novel?"
Cheryl put her hands on her hips. "Well at least I read Buddy Martin."
"Well, I don't need to read to know my Greed is all boy. None of this hermetic shit. Right Greed?"
Bud looked over to see Greed nosing about in Cheryl's purse. The pet paused, hearing his name, one hand clasped around some lip-gloss and the other on her checkbook.
"Mine," said Greed putting the lip-gloss up to his mouth.
Over the next few weeks Cheryl caught Greed and Ling mating in the closet, the shower, in front of the TV, and even on her bed. Cheryl drew the line when she caught them screwing in the clean laundry. They broke apart and scampered away quickly when they noticed the look on her face.
She reluctantly admitted that Ling didn't seem to mind mating with Greed and even at times seemed to initiate it. In a way, it was kind of cute, especially the way the Greed licked Ling and brought him offers of food, and shiny things from around the house. Ling in turn would smooth Greed's pelt and only rarely retreated to the top of the refrigerator.
It wasn't all good. They seemed to bring out each other's bad habits especially when it came to hording and decorating. Once she found her Precious Moments figurines, which she'd kept in a shadow box high out of Greed's reach, under her bed. Ling HAD to be responsible for that. And when she found Ling's face rather randomly doodled on with her lipstick, she knew that Greed was behind that. She'd been positively furious when she caught the two of them in her LOCKED jewelry box, draping themselves with her necklaces and pinning her earrings to their pelts.
Still when they napped, folded in each other's arms, they sure did look pretty fine together.
Bud seemed a bit uncomfortable about the whole cross species aspect to it, but soon took the attitude that his Greed was just being male and at least this way they wouldn't have to deal with getting rid of pups.
A few months after they moved in together Cheryl caught Bud watching their pets mate with a decidedly proud look on his face. "My Greed's a raunchy one, ain't he. This is the fourth time today."
Cheryl looked at Ling who stared back rather forlornly. She felt sympathetic. "Okay, that's enough, SHOO," Cheryl pointed the shock collars remote at Greed who immediately jumped off and bounded away.
"What?" said Bud, but when Ling didn't move, he took some pity and put the creature up on the couch and gave it some leftover steak.
Cheryl cuddled Ling close to her chest. He didn't play with her hair or her breasts like he usually did. "Are you not feeling well, Lingy?"
Ling whimpered.
"Aw, he'll be fine tomorrow, I'm sure," said Bud gruffly.
Ling scampered out of Cheryl's lap and ran back into their room. Cheryl ran after him and saw he'd pushed himself under the bed. "Aw, come out Lingy."
"Let him be," shouted Bud. "Hey, Fear Factor is coming on."
Cheryl stood up reluctantly. Bud was probably right. Besides she didn't want to miss her show.
Greed found Ling under the bed. He sniffed tentatively. "You smell a bit strange, are you okay?"
"Leave me alone," muttered Ling.
Greed felt a pang of worry. Maybe Cheryl was right and he did take it too far, but Bud had been right there and he didn't see anything wrong with it. "Did I hurt you my love?" Greed asked.
"No. I just feel strange."
"How strange."
"I don't know. I can't describe it. I just want to be alone."
Greed nodded. Well that at least he could insure. "I'll guard the door. No one will bug you."
"Thank you," said Ling.
Keeping the human's out of their bedroom proved harder than Greed thought it would be. In the end it turned out impossible. Bud zapped him with the shock collar and toss him out into the yard.
"I have no idea what's up with you today, Greed," Bud growled. "But if you ever do that again I'm going to sell you."
Greed whined and tried to nuzzle up to Bud for forgiveness, but the human was having none of it. "I'm going to bed, you're sleeping here tonight."
Here? Out in the cold wet yard? Away from his Ling who seemed to be hurt! No! Greed bounded about yelling at the top of his voice, but in the end all he got was shouts from the neighbor and finally another zap from the collar. Greed couldn't even smell Ling.
Greed ended up sleeping poorly, curled up against the backdoor.
Ling was not better in the morning. In fact she couldn't coax him out from under her bed and she tried everything she could, even offering him chocolate, which she knew wasn't good for him, but Ling loved so much. Ling merely scrabbled deeper under the bed. Eventually, she just had to go to work, but she vowed that she was going to come home RIGHT after work and take him to the vets if he was still acting like this.
It turned out to take a little longer than she thought to get home though. First she had to get her nails done, and then she met a good friend and had to go with her to coffee for a while, but she still got home sooner than Bud.
Neither pet greeted her when she opened the door. She put down her purse and tiptoed back to the bedroom. "Ling?" she called tentatively, as she opened her bedroom door.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" came an odd high pitched voice. Cheryl looked around and saw Ling curled on her bed with Greed pressed up next to him. For once they weren't screwing. They seemed to be staring at something in the blankets next to them.
Cheryl stepped closer. Greed growled a bit, but then Ling leaned back and licked his chin.
"Ling?" asked Cheryl.
"Hi!" said the Ling cheerfully.
"Mine!" said Greed wrapping his arm around Ling's shoulders.
"Ha ha ha ha!" came the strange voice again. Cheryl tiptoed to the bed and saw, half buried in the blankets, a tiny youngling.
"Oh, it's adoreable!" she squeeled. "Oh, Ling did you make this?"
"Hi!" said Ling.
She carefully petted the youngling. It mostly looked like a Ling, but on closer inspection, had a few Greed like features. It's hand had an oroborous, and it's teeth were sharp and pointed, and it's eyes were purple and slitted.
The Society for the Understanding of Alchemical Creatures, dubbed the new creature a GAH, for Greed/Ling-Alchemical-Hybrid. The TV news called it a Greedling. Much to the Societies amazement and distress, their term did not take off in popularity.
"No one even guessed that a Greed and a Ling could actually produce viable young together," said the rather enthusiastic (and attractive) Society Representative who came to examine the Greedling. "This, this wonderful creature took us entirely by surprise! I mean, the species are so different. I suppose Lings are relatively new introductions to our country, but up to now, we've never come across and Greed who wanted to do anything other than eat Lings. This is very exciting!"
Cheryl couldn't stop grinning.
"So what are you going to do now?" the Representative asked.
"Well, " said Bud. "I've been looking on the internet and there seem to be a lot of people who'd like a Greedling, so we were thinking of trying to get them to breed some more. We figure we could probably make a couple thousand dollars a pup."
Suddenly, Ling dashed through the living room, onto the couch and into the Society Representative's Lap. The Ling looked at him for a second before launching himself over the back of the couch and aiming towards the kitchen. Greed caught up with him in the doorway and pounced, pinning Ling to the floor with one hand and yanking down his pelt with the other.
"Oh look, they are already at it again," said Bud cheerfully.
"Amazing!" declared the Society Representative, pulling out his camera.
Cheryl was just so proud of her special, special Ling.
TITLE: The Ling and the Greed
PAIRING: Guess really hard.
RATING: R
WARNING: If you aren't into zoofic this will make absolutely NO sense whatsoever.
Ling heard the commotion from living room and yawned a bit, then shrugged and went back to napping on the top of the bathroom vanity. It was probably his master's mate again. Well, he wasn't going to give up the sink one minute before that human came in and tossed him out.
"Mine! Mine, mine, mine. Oh, this is mine! And this! All mine!"
Ling blinked and sat up. "Hi?" he asked sleepily. "Hey, is someone there?" He swung his legs over the side of the vanity and dropped to the slightly mildewed bathroom carpet.
There was a bang outside in the hallway and then the bathroom door burst open. A large and forbidding creature with a black pelt and a fluffy white collar barreled into Ling. Ling's instincts kicked in immediately. He hardly felt the slight graze of sharp jagged teeth against his pelt before he leaped over the offensive creature and out into the hallway. The thing continued on it's trajectory until it banged into the wall, then turned around and started chasing.
Ling's nerves were afire. He scrambled through the living room where his human, Cheryl and her mate stood, carrying large boxes, over the back of the couch and into the kitchen. He could hear the predator racing after him, and Cheryl squalk with indignation.
Ling dashed into the kitchen, leaping onto the counter before jumping up to the top of the refrigerator and curling into a small ball. What the hell was that thing????
He could see the thing through the door, circling around the living room, sniffing at the couch, before bounding into the kitchen. It banged against the refrigerator, causing the appliance to shake a little, before it settled down and started pacing.
Whatever it was, it didn't seem to be able to climb. That was good.
Ling sniffed the air. The creature smelled like Bud, Cheryl's mate.
"Mine," it growled up at him. "This is my house. Who are you?"
Ling arched his back, making himself big. "I'm Ling," he proclaimed proudly, "And I beg to differ, but this is MY house. What are you and why are you here?"
"I'm Greed." Greed grinned at him. "You smell like my human's mate. Do you taste good? Are you sport? Come down! Come down and play with me!"
Ling crossed his arms. He was pretty sure now that the Greed couldn't climb up after him, and therefore he was safe. He arched his eyebrow in a very confident way. "Go away, you aren't wanted. This is my territory and I will defend it to the death!"
Unfortunately, the Greed didn't seem put off by Ling's confident declaration at all.
"Yes, come down and we can fight!"
Ling considered. As confident as his words were, he was a bit worried that maybe he didn't have the muscle to back them up. The Greed's teeth were awfully sharp, it was awfully big. Maybe he should have played dead instead and hoped the creature would just move on.
Cheryl suddenly stalked into the kitchen looking about as mad as Ling had ever seen her. She grabbed the Greed by it's neck. "BUD!! Put your pet outside! He's scaring my precious Lingy-poo!"
Greed turned and snarled at Cheryl. "He's mine! Mine! Let me at him! Let me go!"
Cheryl backed off quickly, then put her hands on her ample hips. "BUDDY MARTIN CONTROL YOUR PET RIGHT NOW."
Bud walked into the kitchen and looked down at Greed. He whistled. "Here boy." He patted his hip twice.
Greed turned and looked at the male human, then spun and looked back up at Ling, then turned back and circled around Cheryl's mate. "Mine?" he asked, nuzzling his head against the burly man's shirt.
"Out," said Bud, grabbing the Greed by it's furry collar and hauling it over to the kitchen door and out into the back yard. "Cheryl, get me his leash, it's in the box labeled Fishing Gear."
Outside the Greed continued to make a racket. "Mine! This is mine! Hey there human's you can't do this to me. I belong in there! Let me in! Take me off this thing. Mine!" Ling could hear some random crashing and banging.
Ling dropped smugly down form the fridge and sauntered into the Livingroom where Cheryl and Bud sat, on the sofa in front of the noisy-box. Ling climbed up onto Cheryl's lap and nuzzled her cheek. She petted him back. "Aw Lingy-poo, don't be scared by that mean old Greed, mama will keep you safe, yes she will!"
"Jeez, Cheryl," muttered Bud, "You are embarrassing me. That thing is way too proud looking to be called 'Lingy-poo.'"
Ling was somewhat inclined to agree with Bud, but as long as Cheryl cuddled him like this he wasn't about to object. He snuggled his face into her ample bosom, and she giggled happily in response. He licked the underside of her chin until she shook with laughter.
"Hey, Ling, that's my territory." Bud's large arm looped around Ling's waist and suddenly he was flying through the air. He landed deftly on his feet in front of the noisy box and then scrambled back to the fridge for safety.
"We need to make your Greed a kennel," said Cheryl suddenly. "I'm afraid he was going to hurt my Lingy… my Ling."
Bud sat heavily back down on the couch and grabbed his beer again. "No way babe,. My Greed sticks with me. I'll make a kennel for that pretty pet of yours though."
Cheryl gasped. "Bud, you are moving in with me not the other way around! My Ling has ALWAYS been an indoor Ling. I'm not putting him out in the cold."
"We'll I'm not putting my Greed out in the cold either!"
"Well MY Ling is delicate and rare! I had to mail order him all the way from San Jose!"
"You mail ordered him? I thought your daddy got him for you?" said Bud.
Ling cocked his head. He thought it was Cheryl's previous mate that had bought him, but maybe he was wrong.
"It - " huffed Cheryl and then stopped. "It doesn't matter who bought him, what's important is that he's my Lingy-poo and I don't want him hurt by your mean ole Greed."
"I love my pet, too Cheryl-Jo." Bud looked forbidding. "You can't get between a man and his Greed. That ain't right."
For a moment Ling watched them stare daggers at each other. Ling hoped that Bud would get up and leave with the Greed, but then he saw his human cave.
"Oh, Bud," said Cheryl. "I know you love your pet more than anything except me, but I'm afraid. If you can find someway to control your Greed and keep him away from my Ling, he can stay indoors."
Bud smiled and clicked the plastic button thingy that controlled the noisybox. "Hey, babe, don't you worry. My Greed is a well-trained beast. He won't hurt your Ling." He hooked his arm over Cheryl's shoulders.
"No," whimpered Ling. "Don't give in!"
But Cheryl just snuggled close. "Thanks Bud."
Ling spent the night on the fridge.
The next day, the Greed was back in the house. Ling didn't move from his perch. He was hungry, but he wasn't willing to face the Greed to get to his food bowl. Less than a minute after Greed was let in the house, Ling didn't have to worry about the food in his dish anyway, the Greed had greedily wolfed it down.
"Go away," hissed Ling, from the top of the refrigerator. "I rule here!"
Greed sniffed and rubbed his hands over the refrigerator door. Ling noticed his fingers darkening and heard the ominous sound of the metal door being punctured.
"Greed!" barked Bud. "Here boy, don't you go wrecking the icebox."
Greed whined a little but then retreated to his master's side. "Hey, boy," Bud continued in a softer tone. I got you something. You just hold still." He pulled a thick black collar with shiny silver studs out of a plastic bag.
"Ooh, you got me a gift? What is it! What is it! Oh, it's nice, I want that!" Greed perked up as Bud put the collar around his neck. "Look Ling I got a gift! I did good!"
Ling looked hopefully at the plastic bag in Bud's hand. Was their a gift for him in there, too? Apparently not, because Bud just crumpled it up and tossed in the trash under the sink.
Ling sulked.
Well this wasn't fair. Greed got a gift and he'd messed up the Cheryl's property. The Greed should have gotten a good spanking. Bud clearly favored the Greed over him. Well, he didn't care. He wouldn't want a gift from Cheryl's ugly mate anyway. He just wished Bud and Greed would go away and things could go back the way they were.
But Bud didn't go. "Hey, Ling, get down here." Then to Ling's complete dismay, the human grabbed his hand and pulled until he fell off the fridge. The human caught him easily in his arms. Ling quickly hooked his legs around Bud's hips and held onto his shoulders for dear life.
The Greed hesitated just a moment, stunned by the sight of his master holding another pet, then he leaped. "Hey, that's my human! Mine! Mine! Mine! I'll eat you! He's MINE!"
"Down boy," said Bud, shifting Ling easily onto one hip and holding him with one arm. "Down! No! You don't hurt Ling!" Then he hit a button on a little plastic thingy.
Suddenly Greed jerked "OW!!!!" He grabbed at the collar and pulled, but Bud hit the button again. "OW! OW! OW!"
"Down, Greed. Heel."
Greed reluctantly knelt on the floor, looking sullen and hurt. "Why?"
Bud lowered Ling to the floor. "Greed, this is our new home, and Cheryl and her Ling are family. We don't hurt family. We don't hurt what's ours. Do you understand?" Ling clung to his side.
Greed looked at the Ling and cocked his head. "Mine?"
"Yeah, boy, this here Ling is yours. He's rare and damn expensive -- you can't just buy a Ling at the mall you know. So you gotta be a good boy, and protect him. Keep him safe. Don't let anything happen to him. You understand?" Bud ran an affectionate hand through Ling's black bangs.
"Mine!" Greed said, firmly. He inched closer on his knees until he was at Ling's waist. Ling stared suspiciously at the preditor, leaping away suddenly when he felt Greed's tongue slide across his hand.
Ling leaped onto the counter and bristled, but Bud caught him and lowered him down to the floor next to Greed. "And you, boy, show me that you have something more going for you other than your pretty pelt and your high and mighty attitude. Greed here ain't gonna hurt you. Don't be such a scaredy-cat. Say hi to each other."
Ling frowned at Bud but then turned to Greed. "Hi."
"You are mine," said Greed.
"I'll bite you if you come close," Ling threatened.
"I'm not going to hurt you," said Greed looking wounded. "The human said you are mine. I don't hurt what's mine, even if you do look fun to hunt. You are pretty and rare. I like pretty and rare."
"Of course I'm rare and beautiful," said Ling. "I am a LING, the pet of Emporers!"
Greed snickered. Ling was annoyed by Greeds lack of respect, but he was beginning to have confidence that the Greed might not actually eat him. That was good.
Suddenly Cheryl entered the kitchen. She gasped and put her long red fingernails in front of her fire-engine red lips. "Is it alright?" she asked suddenly.
Bud wiped his hand on his tight white wife-beater. "Told you, babe, my Greed's well behaved. He does what I tell him to. Don't you, boy."
Greed looked at the human. "I own you." He then snuggled up against Bud. "Pet me!"
Ling rolled his eyes, as Bud scratched the back of Greed's head. "Well, someone is clearly owned," said Ling.
Greed smirked and sauntered over to Ling who backed hastily up to Cheryl. "Hey!" complained Ling and Cheryl at the same time, but Greed simply put his hands lightly on Ling's shoulders and nuzzled his ear. Ling's hair stood on end he felt Greed's warm breath, and his eardrum tickled under the soft voice.
"Mine."
"Never," said Ling with as much conviction as he could muster.
"Oh look," gushed Cheryl. "How cute! They like each other! Oh, see Ling, Greed here is just fine. You and he can be playmates and keep each other company when Bud and I are at work!"
Ling swallowed dryly.
The next several days were marked by a very unsteady truce. If either Cheryl or Bud were in the house, Ling and Greed pretended the other wasn't there. Greed spent most of his time either on the rug in front of the noisybox or else on the Bud and Cheryl's bed. Ling stretched across the back of the sofa or napped on a counter.
When Bud and Cheryl were gone, Ling would retreat to the top of the fridge and stay there no matter how much Greed taunted or pleaded for him to come down.
"I'm not going to eat you," said Greed.
"I don't trust you," said Ling. He was thirsty, but to get at his water dish or the sink, he'd have to go past Greed, who hadn't budged from the floor beneath the fridge since Bud and Cheryl had left for work that morning. Ling looked mournfully out the kitchen window. It was already dark. Surely the humans would be back soon.
"Oh, come down. I promise! I'm an honorable Greed you know. You are my Ling. I'm not going to hurt you. I know you are thirsty, go drink! I'm not going to stop you."
Ling looked at his water dish. "Go to another room," said Ling. "And then I'll come down."
"That's silly, but alright. I'll go into the living room." Greed turned around and to Ling's surprise he went back into the darkened living room and sat down on the rug in front of the noisybox.
Ling dropped quietly down from the fridge and hurried over to his dish. He lifted it up and drank deeply. It tasted marvelous. He'd almost drained it dry when he was roughly shoved from behind. "Hey!" Ling said, and made a mad dash for the top of the fridge again, but the Greed was ready for him and grabbed onto the back of his pelt with two hands and shoved him again, hard, to the floor. Ling felt the Greed's weight pinning him down, and it's teeth grazing the back of his exposed neck.
"You promised!" complained Ling.
"I didn't promise to STAY in the other room," said Greed. "Besides, you are boring up on top of that food box. I want to play with you. I'll let you go and you can run and I'll catch you again! That would be fun!"
The weight was off Ling's back. Ling jumped to his feet and hesitated a moment. The Greed was between him and the Fridge, so Ling turned and ran through the living room. Greed chased.
For five minutes Greed chased him through just about every room in the house. Ling suspected he was being herded, and that Greed was letting him escape in order to draw things out. Still Ling didn't dare slow down. Greed might still mean to eat him.
Ling knew the moment he ran into the bathroom that he'd made a terrible mistake, and sure enough, the Greed cornered him easily in the shower stall. Ling rose up and made himself big, putting up his hands to fight for his life.
"You can't fight me, I'm much stronger than you." said Greed, and pushed him up against the stall wall. While Ling struggled to free himself Greed covered Ling's neck and face with licks. "That was fun," he said after a while. "Let's do it again."
This time it was only three minutes before Greed cornered Ling again. And again Ling braced to feel those sharp teeth rip into his body, only to find Greed covering him with licks instead. "Why are you doing that?" Ling asked.
"You are supposed to be my playmate," said Greed. "That's what the female human said. Well I played with you and now we mate!"
"You aren't a Ling, I can't mate with you!" Ling struggled loose and ran off. This time it was a full fifteen minutes before Greed caught Ling again, this time on sofa. Greed's weight pressed down one Ling's back and he felt the creatures tongue curl into his ear.
"The humans give me many things," said Greed. "They give me food, and territory, and now they've given me you to be my mate. Cheryl is my human's mate, you are her pet, therefore you are my mate. Besides, you heard her yourself. She called you my playmate."
Unfortunately, Ling remembered Cheryl saying that. He craned his head around to look at the Greed. Cheryl had never let Ling down in the past. If she thought mating with Greed was a good idea, who was Ling to disagree.
Ling remembered seeing the older Ling's mate when he was a youngling back at the Ling mill. Usually three or four Ling's would start caressing each other, and gradually they'd move to grooming, playing with each other's hair, massaging each others backs. Then gradually over the course of the day they'd get around to kissing and fondling, and eventually they'd fuck with wild abandon. Ling had been too young to participate then, but he was old enough now. It looked rather interesting, and it was a lot better than getting chased and eaten.
"Oh very well, " said Ling, "But I still think it's kind of strange."
"Well me, too," said Greed, "But the humans seem to like to do it a lot, so it must be pretty entertaining. I have never done it before, but it can't be that hard."
"Okay, I know what to do," said Ling. "It's rather complicated but I'll talk you through it. First we have to compliment each other and braid each other's hair-" Ling noticed that Greed didn't have enough hair to braid. Nor did he have any particular qualities Ling felt like complimenting.
Greed grabbed Ling's lower pelt and pulled it down to his ankles in one swift movement. "Hair? Compliment?" Greed sounded genuinely perplexed. "What the fuck does that have to do with mating?"
"Well, how do Greed's do it?" asked Ling irritated.
"First we create this red goo in our mouths," Greed said confidently. "Then we push it into to our mates bottom with our tongues. That makes it all slippery, and makes our mate horny. Then we fuck. It's actually quite simple."
Ling looked alarmed. "That sounds rather gross. Besides, I can't make any red goo."
"That's fine, you have a bottom, that's all you need." Greed pushed Ling's face back into the sofa. "Just relax."
Cheryl flipped the light on and hooked her purse on the peg near the door. Bud stomped in behind her. "That was so yummy," she said, wiggling. "We haven't been to a restaurant in ages and ages and ages. And that place was so nice, they had table clothes and everything!"
Bud grinned and closed the door behind him. "You deserved it babe," he said into the back of her neck. Then he looked around the room. "Hey, boy, Greed, I got you some steak! Got some for Ling, too. Hey, critters!" Bud frowned perplexed. "Where the fuck are they? It's past their feeding time they should be hungry."
Cheryl walked towards the kitchen,and then turned around. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hung open. "Oh. My. GOD. Bud! Look what you Greed is doing to my Ling!"
Bud crossed the room and turned to see what she was yammering about. There on the couch was Ling with his butt in the air and Greed very obviously fucking the daylights out of him. The look on the Ling's face was a kind of a stunned surprise. The Greed grinned happily at Bud. "Mine!"
For a moment Bud didn't know what to do. Then he fumbled for the controller for the shock collar. He hesitated with his finger next to the button. On one hand, what the fuck was Greed doing fucking outside his species? That just went against nature. On the other, it's a cruel thing to stop a guy before he got his wad off. Especially since Greed wasn't likely to get any action from another source.
"Buddy, stop him! Look what he's doing to my poor Lingy-poo."
Buddy looked at the Ling again. Well, it didn't seem that unhappy. "I don't know, Cheryl. Your Ling seems to like it."
Ling whined and bucked his hips.
"BUD!" Cheryl stomped her foot.
"Oh all right!" Bud grabbed his Greed by his fluffy collar. "That's enough of that boy." Greed held on tighter to Ling, and thrust a few more times. "ENOUGH!" shouted Bud.
Greed got off of Ling and climbed off the couch to lick Bud's hand and then explore the doggy bag he was carrying. The moment Ling was free he pulled up his pants and dashed off to the kitchen. In seconds, he was back up on his usual retreat.
It took a while and some rare steak to coax Ling off of the refrigerator, but eventually Cheryl was able to do it. She took him back to the couch and petted his hair. He looked a bit disheveled but otherwise fine and he leaned into her caresses happily.
"You poor, poor little Lingy. I'm sorry I left you all alone with that mean old Greed."
Bud considered him for a moment. "Aw, Cheryl, leave up. Greed didn't hurt him. If he is a him. Maybe that Ling is a her." Bud suddenly grabbed Ling and pulled his pelt down a bit.
Nope. Ling was definitely a he.
"Don't be silly, Bud," said Cheryl pulling Ling's pelt back up. "ALL Lings are hes."
Bud cocked an eyebrow. "How the hell does that work? Where do the little Lings come from."
"They think that Lings might be her-- , uh, what's the word, hermetic. Like a girl and a boy, only they don't have any girl parts. But they mate with another Ling and then younglings appear. They aren't really sure how it works, it just does."
Bud looked skeptically at Cheryl. "I have no idea what you just said."
"It's alchemy. It's kinda like magic only it's science." Cheryl petted Ling. "I read all about in a book."
Bud looked even more skeptical. "What book was that?"
"The Princess and the Ling. It's my favorite book of all time. It's so well written and informative. And it has the most dreamy guy in it ever who has this Ling and he --"
"Wait," said Bud. "You learned everything you know about Lings from a romance novel?"
Cheryl put her hands on her hips. "Well at least I read Buddy Martin."
"Well, I don't need to read to know my Greed is all boy. None of this hermetic shit. Right Greed?"
Bud looked over to see Greed nosing about in Cheryl's purse. The pet paused, hearing his name, one hand clasped around some lip-gloss and the other on her checkbook.
"Mine," said Greed putting the lip-gloss up to his mouth.
Over the next few weeks Cheryl caught Greed and Ling mating in the closet, the shower, in front of the TV, and even on her bed. Cheryl drew the line when she caught them screwing in the clean laundry. They broke apart and scampered away quickly when they noticed the look on her face.
She reluctantly admitted that Ling didn't seem to mind mating with Greed and even at times seemed to initiate it. In a way, it was kind of cute, especially the way the Greed licked Ling and brought him offers of food, and shiny things from around the house. Ling in turn would smooth Greed's pelt and only rarely retreated to the top of the refrigerator.
It wasn't all good. They seemed to bring out each other's bad habits especially when it came to hording and decorating. Once she found her Precious Moments figurines, which she'd kept in a shadow box high out of Greed's reach, under her bed. Ling HAD to be responsible for that. And when she found Ling's face rather randomly doodled on with her lipstick, she knew that Greed was behind that. She'd been positively furious when she caught the two of them in her LOCKED jewelry box, draping themselves with her necklaces and pinning her earrings to their pelts.
Still when they napped, folded in each other's arms, they sure did look pretty fine together.
Bud seemed a bit uncomfortable about the whole cross species aspect to it, but soon took the attitude that his Greed was just being male and at least this way they wouldn't have to deal with getting rid of pups.
A few months after they moved in together Cheryl caught Bud watching their pets mate with a decidedly proud look on his face. "My Greed's a raunchy one, ain't he. This is the fourth time today."
Cheryl looked at Ling who stared back rather forlornly. She felt sympathetic. "Okay, that's enough, SHOO," Cheryl pointed the shock collars remote at Greed who immediately jumped off and bounded away.
"What?" said Bud, but when Ling didn't move, he took some pity and put the creature up on the couch and gave it some leftover steak.
Cheryl cuddled Ling close to her chest. He didn't play with her hair or her breasts like he usually did. "Are you not feeling well, Lingy?"
Ling whimpered.
"Aw, he'll be fine tomorrow, I'm sure," said Bud gruffly.
Ling scampered out of Cheryl's lap and ran back into their room. Cheryl ran after him and saw he'd pushed himself under the bed. "Aw, come out Lingy."
"Let him be," shouted Bud. "Hey, Fear Factor is coming on."
Cheryl stood up reluctantly. Bud was probably right. Besides she didn't want to miss her show.
Greed found Ling under the bed. He sniffed tentatively. "You smell a bit strange, are you okay?"
"Leave me alone," muttered Ling.
Greed felt a pang of worry. Maybe Cheryl was right and he did take it too far, but Bud had been right there and he didn't see anything wrong with it. "Did I hurt you my love?" Greed asked.
"No. I just feel strange."
"How strange."
"I don't know. I can't describe it. I just want to be alone."
Greed nodded. Well that at least he could insure. "I'll guard the door. No one will bug you."
"Thank you," said Ling.
Keeping the human's out of their bedroom proved harder than Greed thought it would be. In the end it turned out impossible. Bud zapped him with the shock collar and toss him out into the yard.
"I have no idea what's up with you today, Greed," Bud growled. "But if you ever do that again I'm going to sell you."
Greed whined and tried to nuzzle up to Bud for forgiveness, but the human was having none of it. "I'm going to bed, you're sleeping here tonight."
Here? Out in the cold wet yard? Away from his Ling who seemed to be hurt! No! Greed bounded about yelling at the top of his voice, but in the end all he got was shouts from the neighbor and finally another zap from the collar. Greed couldn't even smell Ling.
Greed ended up sleeping poorly, curled up against the backdoor.
Ling was not better in the morning. In fact she couldn't coax him out from under her bed and she tried everything she could, even offering him chocolate, which she knew wasn't good for him, but Ling loved so much. Ling merely scrabbled deeper under the bed. Eventually, she just had to go to work, but she vowed that she was going to come home RIGHT after work and take him to the vets if he was still acting like this.
It turned out to take a little longer than she thought to get home though. First she had to get her nails done, and then she met a good friend and had to go with her to coffee for a while, but she still got home sooner than Bud.
Neither pet greeted her when she opened the door. She put down her purse and tiptoed back to the bedroom. "Ling?" she called tentatively, as she opened her bedroom door.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" came an odd high pitched voice. Cheryl looked around and saw Ling curled on her bed with Greed pressed up next to him. For once they weren't screwing. They seemed to be staring at something in the blankets next to them.
Cheryl stepped closer. Greed growled a bit, but then Ling leaned back and licked his chin.
"Ling?" asked Cheryl.
"Hi!" said the Ling cheerfully.
"Mine!" said Greed wrapping his arm around Ling's shoulders.
"Ha ha ha ha!" came the strange voice again. Cheryl tiptoed to the bed and saw, half buried in the blankets, a tiny youngling.
"Oh, it's adoreable!" she squeeled. "Oh, Ling did you make this?"
"Hi!" said Ling.
She carefully petted the youngling. It mostly looked like a Ling, but on closer inspection, had a few Greed like features. It's hand had an oroborous, and it's teeth were sharp and pointed, and it's eyes were purple and slitted.
The Society for the Understanding of Alchemical Creatures, dubbed the new creature a GAH, for Greed/Ling-Alchemical-Hybrid. The TV news called it a Greedling. Much to the Societies amazement and distress, their term did not take off in popularity.
"No one even guessed that a Greed and a Ling could actually produce viable young together," said the rather enthusiastic (and attractive) Society Representative who came to examine the Greedling. "This, this wonderful creature took us entirely by surprise! I mean, the species are so different. I suppose Lings are relatively new introductions to our country, but up to now, we've never come across and Greed who wanted to do anything other than eat Lings. This is very exciting!"
Cheryl couldn't stop grinning.
"So what are you going to do now?" the Representative asked.
"Well, " said Bud. "I've been looking on the internet and there seem to be a lot of people who'd like a Greedling, so we were thinking of trying to get them to breed some more. We figure we could probably make a couple thousand dollars a pup."
Suddenly, Ling dashed through the living room, onto the couch and into the Society Representative's Lap. The Ling looked at him for a second before launching himself over the back of the couch and aiming towards the kitchen. Greed caught up with him in the doorway and pounced, pinning Ling to the floor with one hand and yanking down his pelt with the other.
"Oh look, they are already at it again," said Bud cheerfully.
"Amazing!" declared the Society Representative, pulling out his camera.
Cheryl was just so proud of her special, special Ling.