HOLY FUCK this is funny

[velvet_draven]

I swear I didn't even alter any of these....god damn I pissed myself

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Velvet_draven!

1. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, velvet_draven and compline!
2. If you drop velvet_draven from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before

Comments

[apathywithin]

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Apathywithin!
Medieval knights put the skin of apathywithin on their sword handles to improve the grip!
Ideally, apathywithin should be stored on her side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
The Eskimos have over fifty words for apathywithin.
The colour of apathywithin is no indication of her spiciness, but size usually is.
During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear apathywithin had to pay a special apathywithin tax.
On average, women blink nearly twice as much as apathywithin.
The horns of apathywithin are made entirely from hair.
The National Heart Foundation recommends eating apathywithin at least three times a week!
Tradition allows women to propose to apathywithin only during leap years.
When apathywithin is swallowed, she will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes!

hahaha!

[velvet_draven]

I love the "national heart foundation recommends eating apathywithin at least three times a week"

...but only cuz I have a dirty mind LMAO