James' remarks
This may be the longest entry I've ever written, yo.
So yeah, after saying all along that I would not be basking in the presence of Marsters... well, there I was, tucked away at the back of the hall during his Q & A. Which was actually called, as all such events were at this con, an "Intimate and Interactive". I couldn't believe my luck. I mean, surely all the plum gigs working with the show guests would be snapped up by the seasoned old-hand volunteers, right? But fortune smiled, and of all the jobs both large and small in this vast exposition, this is where the the coordinators sent me. Wow.
I am pleased to report he was a bit better dressed compared to the previous evening: he was in faded jeans, and a black tshirt that was tight enough to show off his very nice arms and impressive abs. His hair is its natural brown, and has grown out to be about the same length as it was for Spike's look. Also, he's as hyper as a little puppydog, bouncing around the stage, grinning, doing that thing with his tongue, flirting with the room. In other words, he's very good at what he does.
First up, his tall and personable manager Steve came out and announced that there was to be absolutely no video or audio recordings. "Flash photography is fine, but if we catch you recording, we'll ask you to leave. And we won't ask nicely."
Marsters nodded seriously. "That's Steve Himber. The man you don't want to fuck with." Beat. "I only tried once, and I'm still healing." Off the audience's delighted whoops, he grinned, "you all just want me to be gay, don't you?" And I thought, here is a man who really knows his audience.
Not much preamble- he declared that he'd just like to answer questions ("the dirtier the better- bring it on!") because that was always more interesting than having him tell his usual interminable stories. Strangely, here was no audience microphone, but even so the session ran smoothly. He'd point out people with their hands in the air, and they'd speak out their question, and he'd repeat it for the benefit of the back of the room before answering. Some that I remember:
Does he have any tattoos and if so can he show us? No, he feels that an actor ought to present as neutral a form as possible. It takes only ten minutes to put on a tattoo but 45 minutes to take it off. By that I'm guessing he means the camoflauge makeup needed to cover 'tats for the camera. And he's right- a person only pays once to get ink, but producers have to keep paying over and over again for the earlier call time for both actor and Makeup personnel, for the makeup itself, and so on. He did say that he had a lot of scars, and I think he said he was proud of them, or at least that each one meant something.
Someone asked him what his OTP was- not in those words- and he said it was Spike and Drusilla. He also had lavish praise for Juliet Landau- saying that she had the eternal fire in the belly for the work, that she was never satisfied, always looking for the best take possible. She has a great passion for her work, and he adores that about her. He said that there were times when he literally got down on his knees and prayed that more episodes would be written for her. He also giggled that out of the frame, their hands were always doing naughty, naughty things.
He was asked what his most embarrassing moment with a fan had been. He answered that Buffy fans were generally very nice, and respectful of boundaries, but then he described a moment during his first appearance in London. An 80-year-old lady had quavered (and here he did the only English accent of the session) "my friend wants you to turn around." So he shrugged and did it. "And now bend over." He complied, and then mimed a hand grabbing... his ass? Package?... and the final request, "now clench!" Ew.
Someone asked a question I couldn't quite hear, but it must have been about his opinions on nudity and love scenes. And here things got more interesting. He said that during such scenes in BtVS, Sarah was wearing "a skirt, a blouse, boots, mittens... and I was wearing a sock." Bemused expression. And then he said- I am paraphrasing just a little, because I can't recall the exact wording- that to this day he wonders why she felt the need at these times to make jokes about how vulnerable he was in this position. And that because she was the show lead, the crew took cues from her, and they teased him as well. And since then he's decided he'll never, ever do nude scenes again. "If you want to see it, buy the DVD!"
Wow. He was respectful throughout, but that simmered with bitterness. I'd always heard that Sarah was extremely professional on set- to the point where it begins to sound like the party line that everyone parrots- but this? Is rude and very unprofessional behaviour. (Read: what a four-star, furlined, ocean-going bitch!)
Of his most difficult emotional moments as an actor, he gave two examples. One was in an original play in Chicago, where he was playing a mass murderer who was faking mental illness in order to get off the charges. He said it was a "very dark time" for him- he worked hard to understand why someone would kill a bunch of people, he beat up his car- broke the steering wheel with his head. He's so Method.
The second example? "Licking Sarah in season seven." Now, I don't remember what ep that was in, but what he said was "now, I know Sarah for good and bad, warts and all, and I love her like a sister." But as hard as it had been in the previous season to "kiss [his] sister", actually licking her he was finding near impossible. "And she was saying, 'what, you raped me in season six and now you can't lick me?'" So he just had to do it, because if he didn't get it right he'd have to do it all over again, and he just didn't think he could.
So if that ranks up there with playing a mass murderer for emotional toughness, again I say, lots of bitter subtext happening.
He said that he didn't appreciate how, in later seasons, a character's coolness would be demonstrated by them dominating Spike. He also said that he wasn't really given a lot to do- "halfway through every season, other cast members would ask me, 'so what's Spike doing in Sunnydale this year?' and I'd say, 'I don't know- looking for milk?'."
Someone asked what it was like working with Joss. He said he didn't know because he barely had. Apparently, whenever Joss came on to write and direct an episode such as the season closers, Spike would get maybe two minutes of screen time and nothing else. And when he saw the script for the show finale, and was told that he was going to be a selfless hero and save the world, he was all "great, I finally get to work with Joss!"- but again, he saved the world in two minutes flat and so still doesn't know what it's really like to work with Joss.
He was asked how he manages to find the time for all the things he needs or wants to do, between his voice work, Smallville, cons, family life, his relationship. He answered that the most important thing to him was his kids- if the kids aren't good, or if he doesn't know whether they're good, he can't sleep at night. And he shrugged and said that once that was taken care of he could do his (bit of an eye roll ) Acting Career.
When asked if he was ever discouraged or wanted to quit- it was something like that, I don't remember exactly- he answered that he was told at Juillard that he should quit because he had no talent. But since then, he's had no trouble finding work, and the audience is the truest judge of talent, and he and they always had a good time, and besides that most of those intructors were dead now anyway. He did mention, however, that he'd contemplated suicide while at school.
Of the gap between talent and ego: he says he tries not to listen much to all the compliments, because he might start to believe it. And that studios and corporations find it easier to hire unknowns and manufacture stars than they do to hire stars: the publicity machine cranks up to produce celebrities, of whom ego gets in the way of talent. I think that's very true. Also, he was complimented when someone pointed out that it was clear he was a stage-trained actor. That is true, as well. I remember asking a friend who has worked extensively in both mediums what the difference is. He replied, "it's like a marathon versus a sprint; they're both running, but they use completely different muscles."
He spoke about working with Amber Benson on her film Chance, which she wrote, produced, directed, and acted in, on very little money. He reported that he'd never been on a more professional set- she knew exactly what she was doing, every detail was taken care of. He also said that she was possibly the most talented person he worked with on Buffy, and what a huge compliment that was!
He'd love to play Spike again. He figures there's only about two more years left in which he can do it adequately- in which he can match that opening shot of Spike. He explained that vampires cheat death every day, they never age, and to play the character visibly older was not acceptable. Spike was supposed to look around 27 years old. He was 35 when he played him first, and is 43 now. When fans said they'd want him to play in a Spike movie no matter when, he said "why settle for second best?"
Nobody asked him anything about the widely varying reports of his age over the years of the show. Personally, I'd love to hear his account of whose idea that was, and how he felt about going along with it. It must have been such a relief when the truth finally came out, wouldn't you think?
In answer to a question about his physical way of acting, the way he uses his body, he described the dichotomy of bad acting (demonstrated by standing stock still and delivering the lines) that pleases cameramen because it's easy and therefore fast to shoot, and more nuanced movement, which drives the crew nuts. Specifically, he praised the DP on Angel (that would be Director of Photography, which on Canadian film sets would be shortened to DOP) who did unheard-of lighting: he would use reflected light, which required a very wide lens aperature, which in turn meant that the depth of field was exceedingly narrow. In other words, he had to hit his mark exactly right to the inch, or they'd have to dump the shot. And even after they finally explained to him that this is what was going on with the focus, he still said that he'd mess with them because he wouldn't compromise good acting in order to "make the day"- that is, get as many shots as possible.
And their days were very long. Most shows never shoot more than a 12 hour day. Theirs never shot less than 12, and occasionally went to 18 and 20 hours. Other casts could hardly believe how hard they worked. I get that. I've crewed in film and television, in a department that's always one of the very first in and last out. And even though union rules dictate that they have to pay you more money when you didn't get at least 12 hours between calls- or in some cases, less than 8- there always came a time when it didn't matter how much they were paying you, you'd give almost anything just to be getting enough sleep. Actors can at least nap in their trailers when they're not needed. Crewfolk can't do that except at lunch, and we did, too- 20 minutes to eat, and 20 minutes fast asleep on the floor of the truck.
Nobody asked any personal questions, though I heard that in an earlier session over the weekend somebody wanted to know what his favourite position is. He said he likes to be on top. I don't doubt it.
Impressions of the autograph session: wow, were there ever a LOT of people. First was the VIP lineup- these were the ladies who had paid $625 ($500 US) for the full meal deal, all weekend access. Damn straight they get to be first in every line! Not sure how many people there were. A second line were the other two pass-holders, and that queue stretch way down the hall and around the corner. After the VIPs had all been seen, and the silver line was well underway, the coordinator asked me to do an approximate headcount. There were 225 people waiting. And this was an hour or more into the session.
Besides the two show coordinators and James' own staff at the table, there were four volunteers including myself to monitor the area. I was positioned right at the table, asking people not to put stuff on the side table, asking them to please clear the area, asking them to please not stand too close to take pictures. Information on what was and was not allowed in terms of photography seemed to wibble from person to person, depending on who gave the directive. One for-sure rule, though, was that people taking Marsters pics had to have Marsters passes. I personally shoo'd away a couple of Anime boys in full costume.
In general I strove to be unfailingly polite, always prefacing my interaction with "I'm so sorry, but-" or "could I please invite you to-". And you know, fans react well to being treated nicely. Nobody argued. A few had to be prodded more than once to please clear the area, but it all went pretty well.
I couldn't believe all the stuff people brought to show or give him. He got a lot of presents, including a good-sized plush tiger toy in a black leather jacket. People brought him hand-made books, showed him needlework still in the frame. One lucky fangirl from marsters_daily got him to sign her accoustic guitar. And some people? Really talked and talked and talked to him. He'd always listen and nod politely, even though at times I noticed his knuckles looked pretty white as he tapped his pencil on the table. After one especially long fan moment, I heard him ask his manager to help him set his tempo- which must be a polite way of saying, please help keep this line moving.
I wonder what it's like to look down a long, long lineup and know that every single person has paid money to see you, and wants their own special moment. Probably, he long ago made his peace with how... well, weird a gig that is... and he just gets on with it. He never took a break. He never was less than delightful with each and every fan, from what I saw. He gives the impression of being a very warm, thoughtful, caring sort of person, who loves his job, who really likes people, who knows how lucky he is to have found this (rather lucrative) niche.
Sitting in the Q & A, I had the oddest moment of disconnect. Hearing him describe his feelings about love scenes and how he was treated made me feel- guilty?- about how I've used his image in fanart. Even being extremely well-aware that the actor is not the character- it's still this man's face and body I'm using to make erotic art. Even though he knows that being desireable, being a fantasy, is part of his job. It suddenly felt a little disrespectful. It was strange. Maybe some of you have had the same impression, meeting him at cons over the years.
I didn't have a moment with him. Every person in that line got a handshake or a hug and a smile, and looked right into his eyes- that, I did not get. Which is fine, because I didn't pay for it. I did get to observe the rich panoply of his personal fandom, though- the awed giggles and wobbly knees as fans left the table, and had to be called back to get their bonus photo.
And the photo looks like this- pre-signed in advance in silver ink, and stamped for authenticity, and he's looking pretty fine in it, don't you agree?
So yeah, after saying all along that I would not be basking in the presence of Marsters... well, there I was, tucked away at the back of the hall during his Q & A. Which was actually called, as all such events were at this con, an "Intimate and Interactive". I couldn't believe my luck. I mean, surely all the plum gigs working with the show guests would be snapped up by the seasoned old-hand volunteers, right? But fortune smiled, and of all the jobs both large and small in this vast exposition, this is where the the coordinators sent me. Wow.
I am pleased to report he was a bit better dressed compared to the previous evening: he was in faded jeans, and a black tshirt that was tight enough to show off his very nice arms and impressive abs. His hair is its natural brown, and has grown out to be about the same length as it was for Spike's look. Also, he's as hyper as a little puppydog, bouncing around the stage, grinning, doing that thing with his tongue, flirting with the room. In other words, he's very good at what he does.
First up, his tall and personable manager Steve came out and announced that there was to be absolutely no video or audio recordings. "Flash photography is fine, but if we catch you recording, we'll ask you to leave. And we won't ask nicely."
Marsters nodded seriously. "That's Steve Himber. The man you don't want to fuck with." Beat. "I only tried once, and I'm still healing." Off the audience's delighted whoops, he grinned, "you all just want me to be gay, don't you?" And I thought, here is a man who really knows his audience.
Not much preamble- he declared that he'd just like to answer questions ("the dirtier the better- bring it on!") because that was always more interesting than having him tell his usual interminable stories. Strangely, here was no audience microphone, but even so the session ran smoothly. He'd point out people with their hands in the air, and they'd speak out their question, and he'd repeat it for the benefit of the back of the room before answering. Some that I remember:
Does he have any tattoos and if so can he show us? No, he feels that an actor ought to present as neutral a form as possible. It takes only ten minutes to put on a tattoo but 45 minutes to take it off. By that I'm guessing he means the camoflauge makeup needed to cover 'tats for the camera. And he's right- a person only pays once to get ink, but producers have to keep paying over and over again for the earlier call time for both actor and Makeup personnel, for the makeup itself, and so on. He did say that he had a lot of scars, and I think he said he was proud of them, or at least that each one meant something.
Someone asked him what his OTP was- not in those words- and he said it was Spike and Drusilla. He also had lavish praise for Juliet Landau- saying that she had the eternal fire in the belly for the work, that she was never satisfied, always looking for the best take possible. She has a great passion for her work, and he adores that about her. He said that there were times when he literally got down on his knees and prayed that more episodes would be written for her. He also giggled that out of the frame, their hands were always doing naughty, naughty things.
He was asked what his most embarrassing moment with a fan had been. He answered that Buffy fans were generally very nice, and respectful of boundaries, but then he described a moment during his first appearance in London. An 80-year-old lady had quavered (and here he did the only English accent of the session) "my friend wants you to turn around." So he shrugged and did it. "And now bend over." He complied, and then mimed a hand grabbing... his ass? Package?... and the final request, "now clench!" Ew.
Someone asked a question I couldn't quite hear, but it must have been about his opinions on nudity and love scenes. And here things got more interesting. He said that during such scenes in BtVS, Sarah was wearing "a skirt, a blouse, boots, mittens... and I was wearing a sock." Bemused expression. And then he said- I am paraphrasing just a little, because I can't recall the exact wording- that to this day he wonders why she felt the need at these times to make jokes about how vulnerable he was in this position. And that because she was the show lead, the crew took cues from her, and they teased him as well. And since then he's decided he'll never, ever do nude scenes again. "If you want to see it, buy the DVD!"
Wow. He was respectful throughout, but that simmered with bitterness. I'd always heard that Sarah was extremely professional on set- to the point where it begins to sound like the party line that everyone parrots- but this? Is rude and very unprofessional behaviour. (Read: what a four-star, furlined, ocean-going bitch!)
Of his most difficult emotional moments as an actor, he gave two examples. One was in an original play in Chicago, where he was playing a mass murderer who was faking mental illness in order to get off the charges. He said it was a "very dark time" for him- he worked hard to understand why someone would kill a bunch of people, he beat up his car- broke the steering wheel with his head. He's so Method.
The second example? "Licking Sarah in season seven." Now, I don't remember what ep that was in, but what he said was "now, I know Sarah for good and bad, warts and all, and I love her like a sister." But as hard as it had been in the previous season to "kiss [his] sister", actually licking her he was finding near impossible. "And she was saying, 'what, you raped me in season six and now you can't lick me?'" So he just had to do it, because if he didn't get it right he'd have to do it all over again, and he just didn't think he could.
So if that ranks up there with playing a mass murderer for emotional toughness, again I say, lots of bitter subtext happening.
He said that he didn't appreciate how, in later seasons, a character's coolness would be demonstrated by them dominating Spike. He also said that he wasn't really given a lot to do- "halfway through every season, other cast members would ask me, 'so what's Spike doing in Sunnydale this year?' and I'd say, 'I don't know- looking for milk?'."
Someone asked what it was like working with Joss. He said he didn't know because he barely had. Apparently, whenever Joss came on to write and direct an episode such as the season closers, Spike would get maybe two minutes of screen time and nothing else. And when he saw the script for the show finale, and was told that he was going to be a selfless hero and save the world, he was all "great, I finally get to work with Joss!"- but again, he saved the world in two minutes flat and so still doesn't know what it's really like to work with Joss.
He was asked how he manages to find the time for all the things he needs or wants to do, between his voice work, Smallville, cons, family life, his relationship. He answered that the most important thing to him was his kids- if the kids aren't good, or if he doesn't know whether they're good, he can't sleep at night. And he shrugged and said that once that was taken care of he could do his (bit of an eye roll ) Acting Career.
When asked if he was ever discouraged or wanted to quit- it was something like that, I don't remember exactly- he answered that he was told at Juillard that he should quit because he had no talent. But since then, he's had no trouble finding work, and the audience is the truest judge of talent, and he and they always had a good time, and besides that most of those intructors were dead now anyway. He did mention, however, that he'd contemplated suicide while at school.
Of the gap between talent and ego: he says he tries not to listen much to all the compliments, because he might start to believe it. And that studios and corporations find it easier to hire unknowns and manufacture stars than they do to hire stars: the publicity machine cranks up to produce celebrities, of whom ego gets in the way of talent. I think that's very true. Also, he was complimented when someone pointed out that it was clear he was a stage-trained actor. That is true, as well. I remember asking a friend who has worked extensively in both mediums what the difference is. He replied, "it's like a marathon versus a sprint; they're both running, but they use completely different muscles."
He spoke about working with Amber Benson on her film Chance, which she wrote, produced, directed, and acted in, on very little money. He reported that he'd never been on a more professional set- she knew exactly what she was doing, every detail was taken care of. He also said that she was possibly the most talented person he worked with on Buffy, and what a huge compliment that was!
He'd love to play Spike again. He figures there's only about two more years left in which he can do it adequately- in which he can match that opening shot of Spike. He explained that vampires cheat death every day, they never age, and to play the character visibly older was not acceptable. Spike was supposed to look around 27 years old. He was 35 when he played him first, and is 43 now. When fans said they'd want him to play in a Spike movie no matter when, he said "why settle for second best?"
Nobody asked him anything about the widely varying reports of his age over the years of the show. Personally, I'd love to hear his account of whose idea that was, and how he felt about going along with it. It must have been such a relief when the truth finally came out, wouldn't you think?
In answer to a question about his physical way of acting, the way he uses his body, he described the dichotomy of bad acting (demonstrated by standing stock still and delivering the lines) that pleases cameramen because it's easy and therefore fast to shoot, and more nuanced movement, which drives the crew nuts. Specifically, he praised the DP on Angel (that would be Director of Photography, which on Canadian film sets would be shortened to DOP) who did unheard-of lighting: he would use reflected light, which required a very wide lens aperature, which in turn meant that the depth of field was exceedingly narrow. In other words, he had to hit his mark exactly right to the inch, or they'd have to dump the shot. And even after they finally explained to him that this is what was going on with the focus, he still said that he'd mess with them because he wouldn't compromise good acting in order to "make the day"- that is, get as many shots as possible.
And their days were very long. Most shows never shoot more than a 12 hour day. Theirs never shot less than 12, and occasionally went to 18 and 20 hours. Other casts could hardly believe how hard they worked. I get that. I've crewed in film and television, in a department that's always one of the very first in and last out. And even though union rules dictate that they have to pay you more money when you didn't get at least 12 hours between calls- or in some cases, less than 8- there always came a time when it didn't matter how much they were paying you, you'd give almost anything just to be getting enough sleep. Actors can at least nap in their trailers when they're not needed. Crewfolk can't do that except at lunch, and we did, too- 20 minutes to eat, and 20 minutes fast asleep on the floor of the truck.
Nobody asked any personal questions, though I heard that in an earlier session over the weekend somebody wanted to know what his favourite position is. He said he likes to be on top. I don't doubt it.
Impressions of the autograph session: wow, were there ever a LOT of people. First was the VIP lineup- these were the ladies who had paid $625 ($500 US) for the full meal deal, all weekend access. Damn straight they get to be first in every line! Not sure how many people there were. A second line were the other two pass-holders, and that queue stretch way down the hall and around the corner. After the VIPs had all been seen, and the silver line was well underway, the coordinator asked me to do an approximate headcount. There were 225 people waiting. And this was an hour or more into the session.
Besides the two show coordinators and James' own staff at the table, there were four volunteers including myself to monitor the area. I was positioned right at the table, asking people not to put stuff on the side table, asking them to please clear the area, asking them to please not stand too close to take pictures. Information on what was and was not allowed in terms of photography seemed to wibble from person to person, depending on who gave the directive. One for-sure rule, though, was that people taking Marsters pics had to have Marsters passes. I personally shoo'd away a couple of Anime boys in full costume.
In general I strove to be unfailingly polite, always prefacing my interaction with "I'm so sorry, but-" or "could I please invite you to-". And you know, fans react well to being treated nicely. Nobody argued. A few had to be prodded more than once to please clear the area, but it all went pretty well.
I couldn't believe all the stuff people brought to show or give him. He got a lot of presents, including a good-sized plush tiger toy in a black leather jacket. People brought him hand-made books, showed him needlework still in the frame. One lucky fangirl from marsters_daily got him to sign her accoustic guitar. And some people? Really talked and talked and talked to him. He'd always listen and nod politely, even though at times I noticed his knuckles looked pretty white as he tapped his pencil on the table. After one especially long fan moment, I heard him ask his manager to help him set his tempo- which must be a polite way of saying, please help keep this line moving.
I wonder what it's like to look down a long, long lineup and know that every single person has paid money to see you, and wants their own special moment. Probably, he long ago made his peace with how... well, weird a gig that is... and he just gets on with it. He never took a break. He never was less than delightful with each and every fan, from what I saw. He gives the impression of being a very warm, thoughtful, caring sort of person, who loves his job, who really likes people, who knows how lucky he is to have found this (rather lucrative) niche.
Sitting in the Q & A, I had the oddest moment of disconnect. Hearing him describe his feelings about love scenes and how he was treated made me feel- guilty?- about how I've used his image in fanart. Even being extremely well-aware that the actor is not the character- it's still this man's face and body I'm using to make erotic art. Even though he knows that being desireable, being a fantasy, is part of his job. It suddenly felt a little disrespectful. It was strange. Maybe some of you have had the same impression, meeting him at cons over the years.
I didn't have a moment with him. Every person in that line got a handshake or a hug and a smile, and looked right into his eyes- that, I did not get. Which is fine, because I didn't pay for it. I did get to observe the rich panoply of his personal fandom, though- the awed giggles and wobbly knees as fans left the table, and had to be called back to get their bonus photo.
And the photo looks like this- pre-signed in advance in silver ink, and stamped for authenticity, and he's looking pretty fine in it, don't you agree?