My latest adventure; or Why does my throat hurt?
No really, I haven't been avoiding you and I don't hate you. I've just been busy. Really busy. in fact here's what I've been dealing with:
In January I got really sick. As I was unsure what caused it, I made an appointment to see a medical professional. Really this started out as a physical, but since I had a laundry list of things that were bothering me, I figured it was time to start taking care of myself. This means being poked and prodded and submitting to all sorts of unpleasant tests. On February 2nd, I had an appointment that resulted in a Pap Smear and a tetanus in the same 30 minutes. Ouch? This also resulted in a requisition for a bevy of lab work. On the 5th I was stabbed repeatedly until the phlebotomist got a ton of blood out of me. I also got to keep a container of my own urine in my fridge for my 24 hour sample. EW!
Time for some context! In case you've missed the other 30 million posts about it, my mother has an extremely rare form of cancer that has some hellish side effects. Around Thanksgiving '08 her brother, my uncle, was diagnosed in the early stages of the same extremely rare cancer. Coincidence? I'm not going to bet MY life on it.
Thus, along with the usual panels for things like diabetes (negative), cholesterol (great), and thyroid function (just fine, thank-you-very-much), I submitted samples for a test to detect hormones released by Carcinoid tumors. I just wanted to get the "all clear!". Alas, things often have a way of working out in ways other than the ones that you'd like. While I had to wait several weeks for the results, this test came back with a result above the acceptable levels. Most medical professionals know so little about this form of cancer that my Physician's Assistant didn't even think about what it would mean to give me the results back over the phone, while I was at work. At the same time she informs me that the pap was abnormal and I'll need to do more testing there.
I consult with a gastro-intestinal specialist on March 2nd. The specialist was able to point out that the hormone levels on the alarming test could be a false positive for several reasons and ordered a retake of the test and a new blood test. She also made an appointment for the 20th to go in and take pretty pictures of my insides. Yes, that's right, an Endoscopy AND a Colonoscopy. Ugh. Later on the second I go into my regular doctor's office for a closer look at my lady parts which results in not one, but two biopsies. A frowny face here wouldn't even begin to cover it.
In between all of these wonderful experiences I keep up on my weekly visits with my mom. She just seems to keep on getting worse. She now has edema and anemia. She's having a blood transfusion almost every week. She's constantly in pain, has difficulty moving and is still having anorexia problems. Her top half is skeletal, and her bottom half looks like the Michelin Man. Now I'm watching with different eyes. Not only am I seeing someone I treasure painfully consumed by a horrible disease, I'm wondering if I'm seeing my future too.
Depressed yet? Here's the good news, inoah and I adopted the Two Adorable tuxedo kittehs pictured here:
They still need names. The Agency called them Judy and Billy, but I'm not so fond of those names. She's the smaller one and the white goes higher on her legs. He's larger and has a goatee. They both excel at mischief and havoc. If you can think of good names let me know.
Well last week, in preparation for some of the bloodwork my doctor asked me to eat a slice of bread a day so that we could avoid false negatives. So I've purposely been eating something that I normally avoid because of the strange effects; i.e. rashes, breakouts, stomach cramps, etc.. I was so glad to go see emmiepie on Saturday for the prettification of my hair. I really needed to feel pretty, because up until this point I had just been feeling pretty shitty. Alas, as Emmie and I are about to get some exercise and something to eat, the boycat that inoah and I recently adopted decided to try a jailbreak. He gets out the door and makes a break for the roof door which is locked. He was completely spooked so when I attempted to pry him down off of the drapes in the hallway he turned and sunk his kitty fangs into my left hand and I proceed to bleed. So much for pretty. Thank god for Emmie the cat-whisperer who convinces him to get in his carrying case and come home. I call my insurance advice nurse who advises I keep an eye on the wound but there is no need to go to the emergency room. Needless to say, Sunday night I was in the emergency room with a severely swollen hand in a splint and a sling receiving I.V. antibiotics and painkillers. Per the instruction of the E.R. I follow up with my normal Doctor the next day and she informs me that I will need another follow up on Wednesday and I shouldn't be using my left hand at all, not even for typing until after that point, ere I risk spreading the infection up my arm. This means that I have to take the entire week off work because I've already put in to have Thursday and Friday off for the taking of pretty internal pictures. (Also, to add to the fun and games, inoah is starting to get a fluid buildup on his knee AND we get pulled over by the cops going from the hospital to the pharmacy in Walnut Creek. FUCK.)
So today was the big day. I spent all day yesterday getting ready for it. I didn't eat any solid food at all yesterday and I drank inside cleaner so that my insides would be clean, clear and ready for their close up. Ugh. No wonder it was recommended that I take the day before off work too. That is some nasty shit. Yes, literally.
I got up at 6:30 this morning and Noah took me to the appointment. At 8:30 this morning it was all I could do not to tell the nurse I left something at home then run screaming from the office. Except they had already taken my clothes. At 10:15 they called Noah in so he could drag my dosed ass out of there. In between they shot me full of rufies, crammed long hard things in places where they didn't belong and took pictures of it. I was somewhat awake through the whole thing, but I can only vaguely remember it. Time moved in a super fast, sitcom kinda way. Noah took me to breakfast and we discussed what was on the results sheet as I can't really recall exactly what it was the Doctors said. Then we came home and took a nice long nap. Now My throat hurts like hell, other parts just hurt, my tongue barbell was missing completely, and I can't quite recall exactly what happened. Sounds like a fun night out or date rape, and between the consent form and what they charge for these procedures it wasn't rape. It wasn't fun either. ugh.
As to the results? My doctor did find a number of minor things wrong, but there were no signs of cancer. *insert wild cheering here* We are waiting on a biopsy from the endoscopy and the results of two other tests before we sound the all clear, but I'm feeling waaaay better about it. More should be known in another two weeks.
6/22/09- Ed. to add:
All tests and retests are negative! Hallelujah! It looks like it was a false positive. Sometimes, though, in the back of my head, I still wonder. Can't help it.
In January I got really sick. As I was unsure what caused it, I made an appointment to see a medical professional. Really this started out as a physical, but since I had a laundry list of things that were bothering me, I figured it was time to start taking care of myself. This means being poked and prodded and submitting to all sorts of unpleasant tests. On February 2nd, I had an appointment that resulted in a Pap Smear and a tetanus in the same 30 minutes. Ouch? This also resulted in a requisition for a bevy of lab work. On the 5th I was stabbed repeatedly until the phlebotomist got a ton of blood out of me. I also got to keep a container of my own urine in my fridge for my 24 hour sample. EW!
Time for some context! In case you've missed the other 30 million posts about it, my mother has an extremely rare form of cancer that has some hellish side effects. Around Thanksgiving '08 her brother, my uncle, was diagnosed in the early stages of the same extremely rare cancer. Coincidence? I'm not going to bet MY life on it.
Thus, along with the usual panels for things like diabetes (negative), cholesterol (great), and thyroid function (just fine, thank-you-very-much), I submitted samples for a test to detect hormones released by Carcinoid tumors. I just wanted to get the "all clear!". Alas, things often have a way of working out in ways other than the ones that you'd like. While I had to wait several weeks for the results, this test came back with a result above the acceptable levels. Most medical professionals know so little about this form of cancer that my Physician's Assistant didn't even think about what it would mean to give me the results back over the phone, while I was at work. At the same time she informs me that the pap was abnormal and I'll need to do more testing there.
I consult with a gastro-intestinal specialist on March 2nd. The specialist was able to point out that the hormone levels on the alarming test could be a false positive for several reasons and ordered a retake of the test and a new blood test. She also made an appointment for the 20th to go in and take pretty pictures of my insides. Yes, that's right, an Endoscopy AND a Colonoscopy. Ugh. Later on the second I go into my regular doctor's office for a closer look at my lady parts which results in not one, but two biopsies. A frowny face here wouldn't even begin to cover it.
In between all of these wonderful experiences I keep up on my weekly visits with my mom. She just seems to keep on getting worse. She now has edema and anemia. She's having a blood transfusion almost every week. She's constantly in pain, has difficulty moving and is still having anorexia problems. Her top half is skeletal, and her bottom half looks like the Michelin Man. Now I'm watching with different eyes. Not only am I seeing someone I treasure painfully consumed by a horrible disease, I'm wondering if I'm seeing my future too.
Depressed yet? Here's the good news, inoah and I adopted the Two Adorable tuxedo kittehs pictured here:
They still need names. The Agency called them Judy and Billy, but I'm not so fond of those names. She's the smaller one and the white goes higher on her legs. He's larger and has a goatee. They both excel at mischief and havoc. If you can think of good names let me know.
Well last week, in preparation for some of the bloodwork my doctor asked me to eat a slice of bread a day so that we could avoid false negatives. So I've purposely been eating something that I normally avoid because of the strange effects; i.e. rashes, breakouts, stomach cramps, etc.. I was so glad to go see emmiepie on Saturday for the prettification of my hair. I really needed to feel pretty, because up until this point I had just been feeling pretty shitty. Alas, as Emmie and I are about to get some exercise and something to eat, the boycat that inoah and I recently adopted decided to try a jailbreak. He gets out the door and makes a break for the roof door which is locked. He was completely spooked so when I attempted to pry him down off of the drapes in the hallway he turned and sunk his kitty fangs into my left hand and I proceed to bleed. So much for pretty. Thank god for Emmie the cat-whisperer who convinces him to get in his carrying case and come home. I call my insurance advice nurse who advises I keep an eye on the wound but there is no need to go to the emergency room. Needless to say, Sunday night I was in the emergency room with a severely swollen hand in a splint and a sling receiving I.V. antibiotics and painkillers. Per the instruction of the E.R. I follow up with my normal Doctor the next day and she informs me that I will need another follow up on Wednesday and I shouldn't be using my left hand at all, not even for typing until after that point, ere I risk spreading the infection up my arm. This means that I have to take the entire week off work because I've already put in to have Thursday and Friday off for the taking of pretty internal pictures. (Also, to add to the fun and games, inoah is starting to get a fluid buildup on his knee AND we get pulled over by the cops going from the hospital to the pharmacy in Walnut Creek. FUCK.)
So today was the big day. I spent all day yesterday getting ready for it. I didn't eat any solid food at all yesterday and I drank inside cleaner so that my insides would be clean, clear and ready for their close up. Ugh. No wonder it was recommended that I take the day before off work too. That is some nasty shit. Yes, literally.
I got up at 6:30 this morning and Noah took me to the appointment. At 8:30 this morning it was all I could do not to tell the nurse I left something at home then run screaming from the office. Except they had already taken my clothes. At 10:15 they called Noah in so he could drag my dosed ass out of there. In between they shot me full of rufies, crammed long hard things in places where they didn't belong and took pictures of it. I was somewhat awake through the whole thing, but I can only vaguely remember it. Time moved in a super fast, sitcom kinda way. Noah took me to breakfast and we discussed what was on the results sheet as I can't really recall exactly what it was the Doctors said. Then we came home and took a nice long nap. Now My throat hurts like hell, other parts just hurt, my tongue barbell was missing completely, and I can't quite recall exactly what happened. Sounds like a fun night out or date rape, and between the consent form and what they charge for these procedures it wasn't rape. It wasn't fun either. ugh.
As to the results? My doctor did find a number of minor things wrong, but there were no signs of cancer. *insert wild cheering here* We are waiting on a biopsy from the endoscopy and the results of two other tests before we sound the all clear, but I'm feeling waaaay better about it. More should be known in another two weeks.
6/22/09- Ed. to add:
All tests and retests are negative! Hallelujah! It looks like it was a false positive. Sometimes, though, in the back of my head, I still wonder. Can't help it.