how to disappear completely. or at least partially.

[verbal_tar]

I disappeared for about a month now. And I’m about to do it yet again

Comments

[shewhodaydreams]

But it does mean that I’ve stopped dreaming about death. It does mean that I don’t feel like exploding when I walk outside my door.

I wish (hope?) you'd see that there are at least two more reasons to not feel like that, but I guess relationships shake a person up in that way.

[verbal_tar]

There are plenty of reasons not to feel that way - but it's not as simple as calculating that quantity. Sometimes it takes a shift in your life - forward or backward, right or left, maybe even staying in the same spot but flying upward somehow.

It's not the relationships that shake me up that way. It's the me that stands in between.

[miscelenaous]

Lots to say about this post of yours... but obviously there's a time and place. I feel your pain, albeit for different reasons, I feel you.

I have disappeared again too. Disappearing is such a comfortable thing to do - I'm only responsible for myself, only accountable to me, only be when, who, what I want to fucking be!

In the end, I always come out of hiding wondering who's still gonna be there (somehow, my real friends seem to understand my disappearing acts). Sometimes, the potential loss of my half-friends is my only motivation to stay in the limelight.

Hmm. I'll be in San Diego next week too. Maybe we could rendezvous somewhere and eat something besides pb&j sandwiches (you) and frozen rolled tacos (me), and drag our little philly out too.

[verbal_tar]

"Disappearing is such a comfortable thing to do - I'm only responsible for myself, only accountable to me, only be when, who, what I want to fucking be!"

Fucking hell, woman... This is it, precisely. It's nice when someone just gets something that is considered by most to be one of your "bad habits."

Frozen rolled tacos... in high school, I could sustain myself on those for weeks at a time. I don't think I've had one since..

Are you going to any of the LRC's? Or are you there for friends or...? Wait a sec - do you usually live in L.A. then? I guess I always just assumed you lived somewhere near Escondido.

[miscelenaous]

Okay. I don't know what the LRC's are. Am I a dumbass? Enlighten me, please.

I'm originally from San Diego - not Escondido - and moved to LA 5 years ago, in a quest for better opportunities and more of the alimighty $$$. Escondido... ha ha. I get it. VERRRRY FUNNY.

So I come down to San Diego to do some serious drinking, and clubbin'/chillin' with my friends and my cutie-pie cousins Javier and Anthony. I have a sweetheart of an ex-boyfriend who is my designated driver whenever I need him to be - so me and my girls can get knocked on our asses if we please.

[verbal_tar]

Oh, nevermind about the LRC's. Living room concerts. I don't know why I figured you'd be going. I just keep associating them with SD lately I guess.

And I didn't mean to be making a weird joke about Escondido - I seriously thought I must've lived near there or San Diego, even though you've mentioned LA how many times? *I'm* the dumbass.

Sounds like you've got a sweet deal with your SD visits. Designated drivers are angels.

[anonymous]

I did one of those self-effacing my own name googles and found this page journal with my name on it from a poetry class at NAU. Thought I'd say hey.

[shewhodaydreams]

Did you save the bug-eyed dude? Can you send him to me?

[verbal_tar]

I think I saved him. I'll have a look around. Remind me to send him sometime when we talk on here.

Are you going to steal my sweet bug-eyed kid? He's my favorite.

[shewhodaydreams]

I want to use him as my log-on image on my computer. ;)