[fic: exo] all the broken hearts in the world still beat

Oct 24, 2014 13:06

layhan;
2800w;
pg;
novelist au;
for the 2014 round of onlayforlu


There, entwined in each others' arms, the couple shares a passionate kiss. His hands grip his lover's waist, nearly engulfing the smaller in his arms, and he has never felt happier than in this moment.

Yixing lays the final page of the chapter down on his desk, on top of the other piles of manuscripts he has piling up around him, and folds his fingers together under his chin. The clock is blinking "03:24" at him, and he tells himself that Lu Han is probably sleeping, and he'll call in the morning.

(He's stalling; he knows Lu Han isn't sleeping, because he's not quite sure if Lu Han ever actually sleeps. There's always a coffee in Lu Han's hands, and the bags under his eyes never get any less puffy. Not to mention he always answers Yixing's calls, even if they're at 4am, which they usually are.

Yixing doesn't sleep much either.)

--

The morning rolls around earlier than Yixing expects, and he wakes to a buzzing next to his head and bright light shining in through his curtains. A quick glance at the clock tells him that it's not even 8 yet, and he knows who it is on the other line even before he rolls over and answers with a throaty, "Hello?"

"It's awful, isn't it."

Yixing groans, runs a hand through his newly blonde hair and buries his face in the pillow.

It's too early for this.

"Lu Han-"

"I knew it."

"It... it has potential."

Lu Han snorts, and it's tinny and full of static, but Yixing still hears the self deprecation even before Lu Han says, "don't patronize me. I'm not a child."

"I'm not-"

"Yixing."

Yixing sighs, scrubs his free hand over his face, and swings his feet over the side of the bed, phone tucked in between his shoulder and cheek while he finagles himself into a pair of sweats.

"It's not your best."

He doesn't want to hurt Lu Han's feelings, but he knows Lu Han would be more offended if Yixing didn't tell him the truth.

(They've worked together as editor and author for nearly three years now, after Yixing walked into work on an early Tuesday morning to find 700 pages of a gay romance novel stacked on his desk, with "thought this was right up your alley" written on a sticky note in his boss Junmyeon's no nonsense handwriting.)

"Nothing is ever my best."

The phone nearly falls from Yixing's shoulder when he sighs again, stumbles into the kitchen and puts the coffee machine to work.

He won't be getting back to sleep after this.

--

It doesn't get any better.

Yixing is sitting in their usual cafe, the smell of the coffee with hazelnut creamer tickling his nose, his favorite too big sweater warm on his shoulders, his face still cold from the whipping wind outside.

And Lu Han, whom Yixing can see is a mess even before he slinks into the shop, has his beanie pulled low on his forehead and his scarf pulled high around his neck, surgical mask across his mouth, tiny frame tucked into what appears to be four jackets. He sinks into the chair across from Yixing without taking his sunglasses off, and when he finally pushes them onto his head, Yixing can tell why.

Lu Han looks like he hasn't slept in a week, skin pulled tight across his already bony face, with eyes so puffy that Yixing wonders how he can even see.

"You look like shit," even as Yixing says it, he's pushing Lu Han's drink closer to him and mentally rearranging his schedule for the day, because this will take awhile.

Lu Han snorts, hanging his mask from one ear and curling his hands around his mug, seemingly soaking up the warmth from the mocha latte.

"So about your progress-" Yixing starts.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

Yixing blinks as Lu Han slumps over the table and moans pitifully, burying his face in the crook of elbow and nearly taking out the barista walking by when his other arm slings over the side of the table. Minseok gives Yixing a sympathetic look, mouthing 'more coffee?' with a gesture towards Lu Han, and Yixing smiles at him gratefully.

'Please.'

Minseok slips around Lu Han's limbs and Yixing turns his attention back to the author, leaning over to pat what he thinks is Lu Han's shoulder.

"This draft was a lot better than what we started with," he offers, hoping it makes Lu Han feel better. "Not so tragic."

"Everything is tragic," Lu Han speaks into his jacket, turning to look at Yixing with one eye and squinting at the bright light behind him. "That's the point."

"Everyone's husband runs off with their sister that's been presumed dead for 10 years?"

Lu Han narrows an eye at him, and then sighs, mumbles, "It could happen."

It's not the first time Lu Han has been like this, has given Yixing manuscripts full of bad romance novel cliches and tragic endings, with plot twists that leave Yixing's head spinning, and then been unable to take any of Yixing's constructive criticism. But it's been nearly a month now, and they haven't made any progress on Lu Han's newest novel, the widely anticipated sequel to his first bestseller.

(It was also the first book that Yixing had worked on that had ever made the bestseller list; he barely remembers the celebration party, except for getting drunk on champagne and making out with Lu Han in the elevator hotel. He's not even sure Lu Han remembers, and they've never talked about it. It was just a onetime thing, anyway.)

"Lu Han," Yixing sighs, taps his fingers on the table and waits for Lu Han to look up at him fully, wincing at his eye bags; they seemed to have darken considerably in the past five minutes. "Just... try again, okay?"

The sigh Lu Han lets out after a few seconds of silence seems to shake his whole frame, and Yixing is quietly amused; isn't it the editor's job to be exasperated and long suffering?

"Okay," and Yixing feels himself smile.

--

"So how did your date go?"
Byun Baekhyun, fellow editor and somehow Yixing's best friend, flashes a shit eating grin at him from across the table where they're sitting for lunch, and Yixing resists the urge to flick rice at him.

"Not a date," he says for the 19th time today, and Baekhyun waves a hand flippantly.

"What's not a date?" Huang Taohua, head zine editor, companywide celebrity, and Yixing’s other best friend, sits down at their table with her thermos of dumpling soup, and Yixing's stomach grumbles jealously at the smell.

"Yixing's date with his author."

Tao raises a curious eyebrow, pushing her hair over her shoulder and out of the way of her lunch.

"How did it go?"

Yixing resigns himself to the fact that his friends are terrible people.

"Awful," and it's so matter of fact that Baekhyun actually leans over and pats him on the shoulder sympathetically. Tao shakes her head, kicking softly at Yixing under the table when he buries his head in his hands as he remembers the coffee shop meeting.

"There's no way it could have gone that bad."

"The protagonist runs off with his husband's sister," is all he says, and Baekhyun barks a laugh that has the interns at the next table over jumping in surprise. One of them knocks his tray off the table, cafeteria rice scattering across the floor, and while usually Yixing would feel bad, he's too busy feeling sorry for himself.

"He did not go there," Baekhyun laughs, like the asshole he is, and Yixing groans.

"His 'presumed-dead' sister."

Even Tao whistles lowly, and Yixing knows then, without a doubt, that he's screwed. How is he supposed to put together a bestselling novel with this? Lu Han may have told him that he'd try again, and he may have improved on parts of the novel, but the way things are going now, whoknows how long this is going to take.

For both of their sakes, he hopes Lu Han has a major breakthrough soon.

"Do you know what's going on in his life?" Tao asks suddenly, and Yixing raises his head to blink at her.

"What do you mean?"

Tao puts down her spoon, folds her fingers under her chin, and stares at Yixing so intently that he suddenly feels like he’s missing something big.

"Is he in a relationship?"

It’s such a seemingly random question, and yet, when Yixing thinks about it and remembers when Lu Han’s block started really affecting him, he understands. They’ve worked together a long time now but they're not exactly "close", keeping their relationship mostly professional (drunk make outs in hotel elevators not included), but sometimes things come up in conversation, and the metaphorical light bulb flashes over Yixing’s head.

“He moved a few weeks ago. He was living with his boyfriend. I think his boyfriend kicked him out.”

And then he frowns.

“But what am I supposed to do about that? Call up his boyfriend and beg for him to get together with Lu Han again so I can have my bestselling author back?”

Tao rolls her eyes and Yixing frowns harder, glaring at Baekhyun when the other editor shoots him a massive grin.

“Make your work date into a real date.”

Yixing’s friends are the worst people he has ever known.

“You’ve worked with him for three years, he’s basically the only person you spend time with anyway apart from us and your dog, and he’s the only author you’ve ever had a bestseller with,” Tao points out smoothly, and a smirk dances across the corner of her lips when she continues, “Plus, we all know about the elevator incident.”

Yixing feels himself pale, and Baekhyun and Tao high five across the table from him.

Truly, absolutely the worst.

--

This is completely Tao and Baekhyun’s fault. If they hadn’t put the idea in Yixing’s head, he wouldn’t be sitting in his pajamas on a Friday morning with his golden retriever Chanyeol spread across his legs, eating oatmeal with one hand and staring at the name on his phone in the other.

‘Lu Han’ it reads in big bold letters, mocking him.

“It’s for the good of the novel,” he looks down at Chanyeol when he says it, and his dog looks up at him and wags his tail happily, nosing his way deeper into Yixing’s lap.

Yixing takes that as a sign of encouragement and, ignoring Chanyeol edging his way closer to the bowl of oatmeal, presses the green ‘call’ button.

Time seems to stretch on for infinity as the phone rings, and rings, and rings, and rings, and Yixing is just about to say fuck it, hang up, and pray to god that Lu Han had a creativity epiphany and he doesn't need to do this, the phone crackles with static and then Lu Han's groggy voice is on the other end.

"Yixing?"

He sounds confused, as he's right to do, because he hasn't given Yixing any more manuscripts and thus, Yixing has no reason to be calling him at - he checks his watch - 6:37 on a Friday morning.

"Hey," Yixing says, and winces. How do people do this? Yixing hasn't asked anyone on a date seriously for a few years, but he doesn't remember it being this awkward or hard. "How are you?"

"Tired," but Lu Han sounds more awake now, almost worried, and Yixing momentarily feels bad. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine." He can do this.

"Okay..." Lu Han trails off, sounding more confused than ever. "Are there any more problems with the manuscript? I mean, I know it's not nearly up to your standards and I understand that, I'm working on it, I promise I am, but-"

"What are you doing tonight?" Smooth, Yixing.

The silence stretches for an unbearable amount of time, just the sound of breathing on the line, and then Lu Han says, slowly, unsure, "Nothing. Why?"

"Let's get coffee."

Perhaps he shouldn't have not really but sort of planned a date doing the one thing they do for work nearly every week, but coffee is safe. Coffee is familiar. He knows coffee. He knows Lu Han likes coffee. It's perfect.

"I... okay," and Yixing lets out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding, loosens his grip on his phone and winces at the ache in his finger.

"Great. I'll see you at our usual place. 6 sound good?"

Lu Han still sounds more than confused, but agrees, hanging up first with a "Bye, Yixing," and Yixing throws his phone on the couch, collapses down after it and buries his head in the pillow, groaning into the fabric.

This is a horrible idea.

--

6 o'clock comes too fast, and finds Yixing tucked into their usual back corner at their coffee shop (when did he start thinking of this coffee shop as theirs, anyway?) with his leg bouncing under the table, wincing when he bounces too high and his knee slams into the underside of the wood. Lu Han's usual is already sitting across from Yixing, courtesy of Minseok, and this has all the makings of a normal author/editor meeting.

Except Lu Han comes in and marches over to Yixing with a pointed determination, although he's slightly hunched over and he looks nervous.

"So..." Lu Han starts as he sits pointedly in the chair across the table, fingers fiddling with his always present rings until he takes a deep breath and seems to steady himself, looking at Yixing straight on. "What's this about?"

Yixing takes a sip of his coffee, glancing at Lu Han from under his fringe. He's never really noticed before, but Lu Han really is handsome; his face is soft but his shoulders are broad, leading into the long line of his neck and the curve of his cheekbones, high and strong.

"Can't I invite my favorite author to coffee without there being an ulterior motive?"

Lu Han seems to relax in a single breath, collapsing back into his chair.

"You're not quitting on me?"

Wait. What?

"What?"

Lu Han cocks his head, blinks at Yixing.

"You're not quitting?"

Yixing is confused, squints at Lu Han and wonders if this is a joke.

"Quitting what?"

Now it's Lu Han's turn to look confused.

"You were so... you just, 'let's get coffee,' just like that, and my first few drafts for this novel have just been shit, and I know you were getting frustrated and I haven't been easy to deal with lately and I just... thought you told me to meet you here so you could tell me you didn't want to be my editor anymore."

Yixing might actually cry. How is this his life?

"God, no," he says, "I'm not going to stop being your editor. I was trying to ask you on a date."

Lu Han goes still, looks at Yixing with wide eyes, and then covers his face with his hand.

"Well this is awkward."

Yixing laughs, the sound strained even to his own ears.

"Yeah."

How is he supposed to recover now? Who knows if Lu Han even would have said yes had he known this was going to be a date, and really, this was just a bad idea. There's a way to snap Lu Han out of his writer's block, but obviously, this isn't it.

"Well then-" Yixing starts as he stands, jacket clenched tight in his hands. He had never thought about dating Lu Han before, but once Baekhyun had brought it up, he hadn't stopped thinking about it. They already do spend a lot of time together. He knows the parts of Lu Han that nobody else really sees, how hard he works, the nights without sleep and endless editing sessions, his emotionally raw first drafts, the way he'd cried when Yixing had brought him the first print of his first novel. Yixing doesn't like mixing business and pleasure, but maybe it would have worked.

He can't help but be disappointed.

"I still would have said yes."

Yixing startles, glances down at Lu Han to find the author looking back at him, that same determination in his eyes.

"I still would have said yes," he repeats slowly, as though he's not quite sure of what he's saying but knows he has to say it. "If I had known this was a date."

Yixing sits back down, cautiously, and Lu Han blinks at him with wide eyes, before his lips twist up in a soft smile that has Yixing's heart jackhammering in his chest.

"More coffee?" And Yixing looks down at his empty cup, at the jacket he still has in his hands, and then back up at Lu Han, whose smile brightens just enough that Yixing smiles back.

"That would be wonderful."

+no one liked this one either orz but it's the first fic i've done in like 5 years with actual plot so fuck everyone uwu
+layhan is so sosoososo os soo important fight me
+title from ingrid michaelson's "girls chase boys"

tweet;
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+exchange, c: baekhyun, c: lu han, #au, f: exo, p: lu han/yixing, c: yixing, c: tao

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