Breaking Hearts [12/14]
Author: Veridanya (軽 and 暗)
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Yama [Friendship], JunBa [Friendship], Sakumiya?
Disclaimer: Only the story is ours
Summary: After a long time relationship they didn't expect that the success of one of them could also meant the end of the relation.
____________
Sho couldn't avoid thinking about Aiba, how could had he been this stupid and hurt him like that? He had no excuse for what he'd done and he wouldn't try to justify himself. But he wanted Aiba back so bad.
He wiped his tears again and looked at the watch, it had been already 2 hours since he had left the hotel, and with every passing minute, the doubts of Aiba not coming were increasing. Why if he decided he was not worth the effort of coming? Why if he didn't want to see him again? Those thoughts were stabbing Sho's heart with no mercy.
"Well, guess I'd deserve that..."
He kept staring at the floor letting his tears and his thoughts flow. What would he tell Aiba? He had planned this conversation in his mind thousands of times the last two weeks, and Aiba emotionless tone the last times he'd heard him made him fear for the worst.
But whatever it was, even if he had to be there at this park forever, he wouldn't move. Not until he came... He had promised him that he'll be there, and he wasn't going to break another promise to him.
As he was lost in his thoughts, he heard some footsteps getting closer. But he was afraid of raising his gaze, of discovering it's not him and get his hopes broken. Then he heard it, that voice he was craving to hear.
"Sakurai-san?"
It broke his heart listening to him calling him like that, like if they were nothing. But well, it was to be expected now...
"I know I can't be forgiven, but will you at least give me the chance to explain?"
He just saw Aiba nodding so he motioned him to sit in the bench and flinching as he saw him sitting as far from him as he could.
Suddenly he forgot all that he wanted to say, his mind filled with Aiba's face and that broken look in his eyes. He took a deep breath and then finally the words started to came out.
"I'm sorry Masaki...I'm really sorry" he said turning to look at Aiba that was looking at him in silence and moved awkwardly on his seat "I'm an idiot, I know that, I know that I don't deserve you and..." he moved and grabbed Aiba's hands feeling how the other stiffen to the contact "Thank you for coming"
Aiba only nodded gazing to a side and Sho could feel a pinch of pain in his heart.
He cleared his throat trying to get rid of the nod that was trying to stop his voice.
"I never meant to hurt you...I didn't ask you to come to live with me to make you suffer, I know you have gave up so much to be with me, to make me happy, to help me with my dream and I have paid you with nothing but pain and "I'm sorry" isn't going to make it go away, I know that but I don't think there are words that can convey what I really feel and how regretful I am for doing what I did.”
He stopped to take a breath before continuing.
“Before Ninomiya arrived I know I had already hurt you enough for you to leave me, but you didn't, you stayed and yet I didn't really seem to appreciate that. And I know is not excuse baby, but if I let work consumed so many time of the time that supposed to be ours, was because I was hoping it would be the best for you, for us. I could give you a better home and all that you deserve but instead I neglected and stopped giving you the thing that matter the most, time and love…”
"...Please Masaki look at me"
He moved his hand and grabbed the younger man's chin, making their gaze meet
"I know you can’t forgive me, I can’t even forgive myself for being so stupid and naive, for fell in Ninomiya's games but above all..."
He moved closer and then went on his knees one more time in front of the man he loved
"I would never forgive me for have hurt the person I love the most, but I can’t lose you Masaki..." finally his voice broke and tears started to came out "I can’t live without you, everything is meaningless if I don't have you"
His sobs started to increase making him hard to keep talking, again he took Aiba's hand between his and looked up meeting his gaze one more time with Aiba's.
He felt Aiba's hands trembling between his and he hold them tighter in an impulse "Masaki I love you, I love you more than my own life, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if it wasn't for you baby, I'm nothing without you..."
He couldn't stop his tears as much as he tried to.
"I just hope one day you can forgive me, and that you can give me a chance to prove you that all what I'm saying is real...I know how stupid and pathetic am for realizing of this until now, but please Masaki...forgive me, please...."
He let go of Aiba's hands and placed his head of Aiba's knees, feeling how the other moved awkwardly again, but he couldn't bring himself to raise his gaze while he couldn't stop crying.
********
AIBA’S POV:
Aiba stared back at Jun. What was his heart telling him to do? He tried to listen to it, to get over his doubts and insecurities and listen to it.
He got up and stared at Jun.
"It's ok, I'll cover you"
"Thanks"
He rushed to change his clothes and to leave the hotel when all his doubts came back. He came out of the office and stopped, freezing. What if Sho just wanted to apologize for leaving him that way but he didn't want him anymore.
"Aiba-chan, you won't know if you don't go. So stop with the "what ifs", you love him, right?"
Aiba wondered for a moment if he was too obvious.
He started walking towards the doors of the hotel, and turned to Jun before getting out.
"Thank you"
He saw his friend smiling encouraging him and he started walking again. He needed to know if Sho still loved him, if he missed him as much as he was missing Sho.
During this time he's been telling himself Sho was better without him, but seeing Sho crying in front of him has hurt him more than anything. He was his life, he couldn't keep going knowing he was suffering...
He let his feet dragging him towards the park, just hoping Sho'd be there. What if he wasn't? What if he arrived and the other had left tired of waiting for him?
He directed towards the bench Sho had mentioned, remembering all the good moments shared with him, and couldn't avoid sighing in relief watching Sho there, waiting for him. He reminded himself to be strong, not to break down now. He looked at Sho from the distance, and it hurt him seeing Sho like that and thinking it was his fault.
He moved closer, but the other didn't seem to notice him. Aiba took a deep breath before talking.
"Sakurai-san?"
He saw Sho turning in his direction, his eyes were red and puffy and he could see traces of tears down his cheeks, he froze for a moment before getting closer, taking a deep breath trying to control his own tears from falling.
"I know I can't be forgiven, but will you at least give me the chance to explain?"
That was the first thing Sho said to him, and he couldn't say anything, knowing in the moment he opened his mouth he won't be able to control himself anymore, so he just nodded in agreement. He took a seat on the bench next to his former boyfriend trying to put as much distance as possible, he had never seen him like that, so broken, so desperate and something hurt inside thinking he was the cause of this, his thoughts were interrupted when Sho spoke again.
"I'm sorry Masaki...I'm really sorry" he turned to look at him, and he wasn't able to look him back so he gazed away and moved trying to separate himself a little further "I'm an idiot, I know that, I know that I don't deserve you and..." before he noticed Sho reached for his hand, it had felt so long since the last time he had touched him that he didn't know how to react, and got frozen at the contact. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to look at him, and the only thing he could do once again was nod when Sho thanked him for going.
He could hear him apologizing again and his heart started to hurt more that what he ever expected, but he kept repeating himself that he needed to stay calm, he couldn't allow himself to break, not again. He could sense the pain that echoed in every word that came out of Sho's mouth, and doubts started to fill his heart. One side of him telling him he was being honest, and that he was absolutely sorry about the matter, and the other side, that kept telling him that as pretty as all of that sounded, if it happened once, it could happen again since Sho decided he was not enough to be with him.
When he heard the name of Ninomiya he felt a wave of anger, something he hadn't allowed himself to feel, but suddenly passed away once the older man continued talking. It was sad, somehow, that it needed something like this to happen so both of them realized what was important. But yet, Aiba couldn't blame him, his dream were important too and no one can blame other person for trying to reach their dreams.
Tears started to brim his eyes, still not able to look at the man in front of him. He could listen to him asking to look at him, but it was as he couldn't control his moves, when suddenly he felt the warm touch of Sho's hands on his chin and slowly his body give in, and was then when their gaze met, without being able to stop it a tear ran down his cheek when he saw Sho kneeling again in front of him.
He couldn't stand to see him like that, it was heartbreaking and overwhelming. He was about to stand up and ran away from there when Sho grabbed his hands and meet his gaze one more time. Aiba could feel chills ran down his spine and without being able to stop it, he started trembling, when Sho noticed he hold his hands tighter and Aiba calmed down a bit.
Sho kept talking, asking for forgiveness, but he didn't know what to say, what to do, the image and all he had heard was overwhelming and too much to process in that moment
"...but please Masaki...forgive me, please...."
That was the last thing he heard from Sho before the other started sob so hard it was hard for him to talk and buried his head in Aiba's knees, Aiba could felt how his body stiffened one more time while he asked himself what he should do, what he really wanted as Jun had told him to do. He took a deep breath and started talking.
______________
A/N: So, the story is almost ending, just 2 chapter more to go! So, any bet about what will happen? XDD Thank you for reading! Happy Birthday Sunshine boy and happy Aiba day for everyone!!
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Yama [Friendship], JunBa [Friendship], Sakumiya?
Disclaimer: Only the story is ours
Summary: After a long time relationship they didn't expect that the success of one of them could also meant the end of the relation.
____________
Sho couldn't avoid thinking about Aiba, how could had he been this stupid and hurt him like that? He had no excuse for what he'd done and he wouldn't try to justify himself. But he wanted Aiba back so bad.
He wiped his tears again and looked at the watch, it had been already 2 hours since he had left the hotel, and with every passing minute, the doubts of Aiba not coming were increasing. Why if he decided he was not worth the effort of coming? Why if he didn't want to see him again? Those thoughts were stabbing Sho's heart with no mercy.
"Well, guess I'd deserve that..."
He kept staring at the floor letting his tears and his thoughts flow. What would he tell Aiba? He had planned this conversation in his mind thousands of times the last two weeks, and Aiba emotionless tone the last times he'd heard him made him fear for the worst.
But whatever it was, even if he had to be there at this park forever, he wouldn't move. Not until he came... He had promised him that he'll be there, and he wasn't going to break another promise to him.
As he was lost in his thoughts, he heard some footsteps getting closer. But he was afraid of raising his gaze, of discovering it's not him and get his hopes broken. Then he heard it, that voice he was craving to hear.
"Sakurai-san?"
It broke his heart listening to him calling him like that, like if they were nothing. But well, it was to be expected now...
"I know I can't be forgiven, but will you at least give me the chance to explain?"
He just saw Aiba nodding so he motioned him to sit in the bench and flinching as he saw him sitting as far from him as he could.
Suddenly he forgot all that he wanted to say, his mind filled with Aiba's face and that broken look in his eyes. He took a deep breath and then finally the words started to came out.
"I'm sorry Masaki...I'm really sorry" he said turning to look at Aiba that was looking at him in silence and moved awkwardly on his seat "I'm an idiot, I know that, I know that I don't deserve you and..." he moved and grabbed Aiba's hands feeling how the other stiffen to the contact "Thank you for coming"
Aiba only nodded gazing to a side and Sho could feel a pinch of pain in his heart.
He cleared his throat trying to get rid of the nod that was trying to stop his voice.
"I never meant to hurt you...I didn't ask you to come to live with me to make you suffer, I know you have gave up so much to be with me, to make me happy, to help me with my dream and I have paid you with nothing but pain and "I'm sorry" isn't going to make it go away, I know that but I don't think there are words that can convey what I really feel and how regretful I am for doing what I did.”
He stopped to take a breath before continuing.
“Before Ninomiya arrived I know I had already hurt you enough for you to leave me, but you didn't, you stayed and yet I didn't really seem to appreciate that. And I know is not excuse baby, but if I let work consumed so many time of the time that supposed to be ours, was because I was hoping it would be the best for you, for us. I could give you a better home and all that you deserve but instead I neglected and stopped giving you the thing that matter the most, time and love…”
"...Please Masaki look at me"
He moved his hand and grabbed the younger man's chin, making their gaze meet
"I know you can’t forgive me, I can’t even forgive myself for being so stupid and naive, for fell in Ninomiya's games but above all..."
He moved closer and then went on his knees one more time in front of the man he loved
"I would never forgive me for have hurt the person I love the most, but I can’t lose you Masaki..." finally his voice broke and tears started to came out "I can’t live without you, everything is meaningless if I don't have you"
His sobs started to increase making him hard to keep talking, again he took Aiba's hand between his and looked up meeting his gaze one more time with Aiba's.
He felt Aiba's hands trembling between his and he hold them tighter in an impulse "Masaki I love you, I love you more than my own life, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if it wasn't for you baby, I'm nothing without you..."
He couldn't stop his tears as much as he tried to.
"I just hope one day you can forgive me, and that you can give me a chance to prove you that all what I'm saying is real...I know how stupid and pathetic am for realizing of this until now, but please Masaki...forgive me, please...."
He let go of Aiba's hands and placed his head of Aiba's knees, feeling how the other moved awkwardly again, but he couldn't bring himself to raise his gaze while he couldn't stop crying.
********
AIBA’S POV:
Aiba stared back at Jun. What was his heart telling him to do? He tried to listen to it, to get over his doubts and insecurities and listen to it.
He got up and stared at Jun.
"It's ok, I'll cover you"
"Thanks"
He rushed to change his clothes and to leave the hotel when all his doubts came back. He came out of the office and stopped, freezing. What if Sho just wanted to apologize for leaving him that way but he didn't want him anymore.
"Aiba-chan, you won't know if you don't go. So stop with the "what ifs", you love him, right?"
Aiba wondered for a moment if he was too obvious.
He started walking towards the doors of the hotel, and turned to Jun before getting out.
"Thank you"
He saw his friend smiling encouraging him and he started walking again. He needed to know if Sho still loved him, if he missed him as much as he was missing Sho.
During this time he's been telling himself Sho was better without him, but seeing Sho crying in front of him has hurt him more than anything. He was his life, he couldn't keep going knowing he was suffering...
He let his feet dragging him towards the park, just hoping Sho'd be there. What if he wasn't? What if he arrived and the other had left tired of waiting for him?
He directed towards the bench Sho had mentioned, remembering all the good moments shared with him, and couldn't avoid sighing in relief watching Sho there, waiting for him. He reminded himself to be strong, not to break down now. He looked at Sho from the distance, and it hurt him seeing Sho like that and thinking it was his fault.
He moved closer, but the other didn't seem to notice him. Aiba took a deep breath before talking.
"Sakurai-san?"
He saw Sho turning in his direction, his eyes were red and puffy and he could see traces of tears down his cheeks, he froze for a moment before getting closer, taking a deep breath trying to control his own tears from falling.
"I know I can't be forgiven, but will you at least give me the chance to explain?"
That was the first thing Sho said to him, and he couldn't say anything, knowing in the moment he opened his mouth he won't be able to control himself anymore, so he just nodded in agreement. He took a seat on the bench next to his former boyfriend trying to put as much distance as possible, he had never seen him like that, so broken, so desperate and something hurt inside thinking he was the cause of this, his thoughts were interrupted when Sho spoke again.
"I'm sorry Masaki...I'm really sorry" he turned to look at him, and he wasn't able to look him back so he gazed away and moved trying to separate himself a little further "I'm an idiot, I know that, I know that I don't deserve you and..." before he noticed Sho reached for his hand, it had felt so long since the last time he had touched him that he didn't know how to react, and got frozen at the contact. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to look at him, and the only thing he could do once again was nod when Sho thanked him for going.
He could hear him apologizing again and his heart started to hurt more that what he ever expected, but he kept repeating himself that he needed to stay calm, he couldn't allow himself to break, not again. He could sense the pain that echoed in every word that came out of Sho's mouth, and doubts started to fill his heart. One side of him telling him he was being honest, and that he was absolutely sorry about the matter, and the other side, that kept telling him that as pretty as all of that sounded, if it happened once, it could happen again since Sho decided he was not enough to be with him.
When he heard the name of Ninomiya he felt a wave of anger, something he hadn't allowed himself to feel, but suddenly passed away once the older man continued talking. It was sad, somehow, that it needed something like this to happen so both of them realized what was important. But yet, Aiba couldn't blame him, his dream were important too and no one can blame other person for trying to reach their dreams.
Tears started to brim his eyes, still not able to look at the man in front of him. He could listen to him asking to look at him, but it was as he couldn't control his moves, when suddenly he felt the warm touch of Sho's hands on his chin and slowly his body give in, and was then when their gaze met, without being able to stop it a tear ran down his cheek when he saw Sho kneeling again in front of him.
He couldn't stand to see him like that, it was heartbreaking and overwhelming. He was about to stand up and ran away from there when Sho grabbed his hands and meet his gaze one more time. Aiba could feel chills ran down his spine and without being able to stop it, he started trembling, when Sho noticed he hold his hands tighter and Aiba calmed down a bit.
Sho kept talking, asking for forgiveness, but he didn't know what to say, what to do, the image and all he had heard was overwhelming and too much to process in that moment
"...but please Masaki...forgive me, please...."
That was the last thing he heard from Sho before the other started sob so hard it was hard for him to talk and buried his head in Aiba's knees, Aiba could felt how his body stiffened one more time while he asked himself what he should do, what he really wanted as Jun had told him to do. He took a deep breath and started talking.
______________
A/N: So, the story is almost ending, just 2 chapter more to go! So, any bet about what will happen? XDD Thank you for reading! Happy Birthday Sunshine boy and happy Aiba day for everyone!!