Breaking Hearts [13/14]
Author: Veridanya (軽 and 暗)
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Yama [Friendship], JunBa [Friendship], Sakumiya?
Disclaimer: Only the story is ours
Summary: After a long time relationship they didn't expect that the success of one of them could also meant the end of the relation.
_____________________
Sho kept crying in Aiba's knees. He was afraid to separate from him, afraid that if he lets him go in that moment, he could lose him forever. He had missed him, his presence, his touch.
He couldn't control his sobs anymore, he didn't care about his pride, he had lost the most precious thing for him, and it had taken him losing him to realize. Then, he felt Aiba's hand patting his head softly. Sho looked up to him and grabbed Aiba's hand, he could see Aiba taking a deep breath before start talking.
He listened to Aiba's story, trying to get it all. This man had done so much for him, he had been willing to sacrifice his own self for him. How could he be so selfish? All this time, Aiba was there for him, supporting him, loving him, and he had just let that slip.
Every word from the younger man pierced his heart, all the pain he had caused Aiba was killing him. He just wanted the other to live happy, that's why he had asked him to move with him, and instead of that, he had made his life miserable with his behavior.
He listened carefully to Aiba's words, trying to find any hope between the lines for them. His heart broke again when he saw tears running down Aiba's cheeks, dying to reach his face to wipe them but afraid to make the other to step back from it. He didn't deserve to touch him, he didn't deserve the other, and now, he had realized clearly about that. But he couldn't lose him, his life was nothing without the other's presence, without his smiles.
At that moment, he realized his life hadn't started going down the moment he was caught cheating him, but the day the other one had stopped to smile at him. Regret was filling him as he thought back at all those months neglecting Aiba.
He realized the harm he had done to him, all the pain he had caused him. He wanted to let him know that he never wanted to lose him, that he loved him. He wanted Aiba to believe him.
He wanted a second chance, he needed another chance, another opportunity to prove Aiba that he was his precious one, that he loved him. But, did he really deserve it?
"Will... would you give me another chance?"
He waited for the answer of his loved one, hoping he could at least consider giving him the chance to prove his love
************
AIBA’S POV:
Aiba felt Sho crying on his knees. It hurt him so bad seeing him like that, broken, crying his heart out in front of him with him unable to do anything.
He reached out his hand and patted Sho's head softly in a try to calm him down. Despite all that had happened, he still loved the other man with all his heart.
Sho raised his head to look at him with his red puffy eyes, and Aiba had to restrain himself from wiping the tears in his face. He told to himself that it was now or never, and took a deep breath trying to gather all his strength before starting talking.
"You know? I've loved you since the first day I saw you in high school. But then it was over and you left the town to come to Tokyo, and I understood, it was your dream, it was what would make you happy and I could do nothing but supporting you. I almost lost myself during that time without you but then, you asked me to move in with you... you wouldn't believe how happy I was thinking you wanted me by your side, that I could be here supporting you, helping you"
Aiba tried not to break, not to let his voice break, he had to let Sho know about all. Maybe if he would have talked sooner, nothing of that would have happened. But then the last time he had talked Sho about it came to his mind, how he thought that could solve it but it didn't. But he couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"You know? I realized you were way above me when you left the town. I couldn't catch you, it was like if you were going faster and I couldn't keep your pace"
He saw Sho reacting to those words, but he continued, afraid that if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to continue.
"But then I came here, and thought that maybe it was possible. I couldn't be any happier, feeling at least I could help you anyhow while you fought for your dream. I was so proud of you, of all you got by yourself. But it made me feel you were even more above me, and it scared me one day you'd realize about that and would leave me. I started to feel like a burden, you started to work more hours and I felt I couldn't catch you, that I was just in the middle, but I couldn't leave"
Aiba noticed the wetness of the tears running down his cheeks but he didn't care about wiping them, not really wanting to free his hand from Sho's grip.
"Little by little you stopped having time for me, I stayed the same and you kept going higher. And I just... I didn't want to bother you with my silly complains, I kept staying by your side, I just wanted to help you, but guess at some point I just started to make things harder for you. It felt like if I would slow you down, and somehow I realized one day you'd see I was not enough and you'd leave me for somebody better than me. Because, what could I aport to somebody like you?"
Aiba's voice broke, but he wasn't willing to stop.
"Maybe I was just selfish, staying by your side... but I loved you so much"
He saw the intense gaze of Sho fixated on him.
"When you asked me to go to that party with you, I thought I'd embarrass you, and when Ninomiya-san recognized me..."
He felt a pang of pain and jealousy inside of him as he said that name, the name of the guy that had won Sho over him.
"I thought about how embarrassed you should be for having somebody as me as a boyfriend. But then Ohno said that you'd talked about me. Guess I was a fool getting hope from that, but still couldn't get over what I felt knowing and being reassured by him that I was not enough for you and you... you said nothing about it"
Aiba felt his heart breaking again, realizing it was always that way, and how he had tried to fool himself.
"I tried to talk to you about that, and I thought it could work, that we could solve things and then... you just rejected me. You rejected me and started to work even more hours, you were never there with me. I'd wake up alone, and would go to bed alone. But still, it was your dream, I've always been so proud of you, I want you to reach the top"
Aiba stopped for a minute to organize his words again.
"I fooled myself, about what was happening. I chose to trust you over the part of me that told me you'd found a better man for you, one that'd fit you more than you... a man of your level"
Aiba had to make his best effort to continue as the images of what happened came back to his mind.
"But then I saw you... you were there with him, and I realized I'd lost. Finally realized that you'd choose another person over me and that I was a fool keeping hopes. I promised myself not to get in your way again, not to get in the middle anymore. I promised myself not to see you again, even knowing Ninomiya was still staying at the hotel, and that it'd kill me see you going to see him. But you were not mine anymore... you decided you didn't want me a long time before that. I was just too stupid for not seeing it"
He took a deep breath, trying to control the tears that were scaping his eyes
"I kept telling myself that you'd be happy now, and that I needed to learn to live without you. But then you came today... I thought I was ready for it, but my world collapsed when I saw you in front of me, and I did my best to pretend I was alright, to act as if you going to see Ninomiya was the most normal thing ever, when deep inside it hurt.... And then you called my name and started to apologize and I wanted anything more than run and hug you and tell you everything was gonna be alright, but I just couldn't. It broke my heart to see you kneeling and crying so desperately but I couldn't make myself say something, do something about it"
Aiba kept staring at Sho straight to the eyes and took a second before continuing "And you asked me to come, and if I'm honest I really didn't know what to do, but I follow the advice of Jun and I follow my heart, and it guided me here."
Then Sho was the one who spoke
"I didn't want to lose you, I was really stupid Masaki for not realizing of this, for hurting you putting my dream as a priority, forgetting about the most important thing in my life. I don't want anybody but you...."
"But you chose him" Aiba said without thinking and then he continued "It was Ninomiya who crossed your way, and I think it could have been anyone else, truth was Sho, you weren't fully mine since long ago..."
"I have never stopped being yours Masaki, I was blinded by what I thought was the thing that mattered the most, but I'm gonna prove you that everything I’ve said before is right, not just empty words. I'm gonna win my place in your heart one more time "
"Will... would you give me another chance?"
__________________
A/N: Happy Holidays Everyone!! Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy holidays... happy whatever you celebrate! This is coming to and end, and tomorrow will be the last chapter of this series. Thank you for all your support!
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Yama [Friendship], JunBa [Friendship], Sakumiya?
Disclaimer: Only the story is ours
Summary: After a long time relationship they didn't expect that the success of one of them could also meant the end of the relation.
_____________________
Sho kept crying in Aiba's knees. He was afraid to separate from him, afraid that if he lets him go in that moment, he could lose him forever. He had missed him, his presence, his touch.
He couldn't control his sobs anymore, he didn't care about his pride, he had lost the most precious thing for him, and it had taken him losing him to realize. Then, he felt Aiba's hand patting his head softly. Sho looked up to him and grabbed Aiba's hand, he could see Aiba taking a deep breath before start talking.
He listened to Aiba's story, trying to get it all. This man had done so much for him, he had been willing to sacrifice his own self for him. How could he be so selfish? All this time, Aiba was there for him, supporting him, loving him, and he had just let that slip.
Every word from the younger man pierced his heart, all the pain he had caused Aiba was killing him. He just wanted the other to live happy, that's why he had asked him to move with him, and instead of that, he had made his life miserable with his behavior.
He listened carefully to Aiba's words, trying to find any hope between the lines for them. His heart broke again when he saw tears running down Aiba's cheeks, dying to reach his face to wipe them but afraid to make the other to step back from it. He didn't deserve to touch him, he didn't deserve the other, and now, he had realized clearly about that. But he couldn't lose him, his life was nothing without the other's presence, without his smiles.
At that moment, he realized his life hadn't started going down the moment he was caught cheating him, but the day the other one had stopped to smile at him. Regret was filling him as he thought back at all those months neglecting Aiba.
He realized the harm he had done to him, all the pain he had caused him. He wanted to let him know that he never wanted to lose him, that he loved him. He wanted Aiba to believe him.
He wanted a second chance, he needed another chance, another opportunity to prove Aiba that he was his precious one, that he loved him. But, did he really deserve it?
"Will... would you give me another chance?"
He waited for the answer of his loved one, hoping he could at least consider giving him the chance to prove his love
************
AIBA’S POV:
Aiba felt Sho crying on his knees. It hurt him so bad seeing him like that, broken, crying his heart out in front of him with him unable to do anything.
He reached out his hand and patted Sho's head softly in a try to calm him down. Despite all that had happened, he still loved the other man with all his heart.
Sho raised his head to look at him with his red puffy eyes, and Aiba had to restrain himself from wiping the tears in his face. He told to himself that it was now or never, and took a deep breath trying to gather all his strength before starting talking.
"You know? I've loved you since the first day I saw you in high school. But then it was over and you left the town to come to Tokyo, and I understood, it was your dream, it was what would make you happy and I could do nothing but supporting you. I almost lost myself during that time without you but then, you asked me to move in with you... you wouldn't believe how happy I was thinking you wanted me by your side, that I could be here supporting you, helping you"
Aiba tried not to break, not to let his voice break, he had to let Sho know about all. Maybe if he would have talked sooner, nothing of that would have happened. But then the last time he had talked Sho about it came to his mind, how he thought that could solve it but it didn't. But he couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"You know? I realized you were way above me when you left the town. I couldn't catch you, it was like if you were going faster and I couldn't keep your pace"
He saw Sho reacting to those words, but he continued, afraid that if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to continue.
"But then I came here, and thought that maybe it was possible. I couldn't be any happier, feeling at least I could help you anyhow while you fought for your dream. I was so proud of you, of all you got by yourself. But it made me feel you were even more above me, and it scared me one day you'd realize about that and would leave me. I started to feel like a burden, you started to work more hours and I felt I couldn't catch you, that I was just in the middle, but I couldn't leave"
Aiba noticed the wetness of the tears running down his cheeks but he didn't care about wiping them, not really wanting to free his hand from Sho's grip.
"Little by little you stopped having time for me, I stayed the same and you kept going higher. And I just... I didn't want to bother you with my silly complains, I kept staying by your side, I just wanted to help you, but guess at some point I just started to make things harder for you. It felt like if I would slow you down, and somehow I realized one day you'd see I was not enough and you'd leave me for somebody better than me. Because, what could I aport to somebody like you?"
Aiba's voice broke, but he wasn't willing to stop.
"Maybe I was just selfish, staying by your side... but I loved you so much"
He saw the intense gaze of Sho fixated on him.
"When you asked me to go to that party with you, I thought I'd embarrass you, and when Ninomiya-san recognized me..."
He felt a pang of pain and jealousy inside of him as he said that name, the name of the guy that had won Sho over him.
"I thought about how embarrassed you should be for having somebody as me as a boyfriend. But then Ohno said that you'd talked about me. Guess I was a fool getting hope from that, but still couldn't get over what I felt knowing and being reassured by him that I was not enough for you and you... you said nothing about it"
Aiba felt his heart breaking again, realizing it was always that way, and how he had tried to fool himself.
"I tried to talk to you about that, and I thought it could work, that we could solve things and then... you just rejected me. You rejected me and started to work even more hours, you were never there with me. I'd wake up alone, and would go to bed alone. But still, it was your dream, I've always been so proud of you, I want you to reach the top"
Aiba stopped for a minute to organize his words again.
"I fooled myself, about what was happening. I chose to trust you over the part of me that told me you'd found a better man for you, one that'd fit you more than you... a man of your level"
Aiba had to make his best effort to continue as the images of what happened came back to his mind.
"But then I saw you... you were there with him, and I realized I'd lost. Finally realized that you'd choose another person over me and that I was a fool keeping hopes. I promised myself not to get in your way again, not to get in the middle anymore. I promised myself not to see you again, even knowing Ninomiya was still staying at the hotel, and that it'd kill me see you going to see him. But you were not mine anymore... you decided you didn't want me a long time before that. I was just too stupid for not seeing it"
He took a deep breath, trying to control the tears that were scaping his eyes
"I kept telling myself that you'd be happy now, and that I needed to learn to live without you. But then you came today... I thought I was ready for it, but my world collapsed when I saw you in front of me, and I did my best to pretend I was alright, to act as if you going to see Ninomiya was the most normal thing ever, when deep inside it hurt.... And then you called my name and started to apologize and I wanted anything more than run and hug you and tell you everything was gonna be alright, but I just couldn't. It broke my heart to see you kneeling and crying so desperately but I couldn't make myself say something, do something about it"
Aiba kept staring at Sho straight to the eyes and took a second before continuing "And you asked me to come, and if I'm honest I really didn't know what to do, but I follow the advice of Jun and I follow my heart, and it guided me here."
Then Sho was the one who spoke
"I didn't want to lose you, I was really stupid Masaki for not realizing of this, for hurting you putting my dream as a priority, forgetting about the most important thing in my life. I don't want anybody but you...."
"But you chose him" Aiba said without thinking and then he continued "It was Ninomiya who crossed your way, and I think it could have been anyone else, truth was Sho, you weren't fully mine since long ago..."
"I have never stopped being yours Masaki, I was blinded by what I thought was the thing that mattered the most, but I'm gonna prove you that everything I’ve said before is right, not just empty words. I'm gonna win my place in your heart one more time "
"Will... would you give me another chance?"
__________________
A/N: Happy Holidays Everyone!! Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy holidays... happy whatever you celebrate! This is coming to and end, and tomorrow will be the last chapter of this series. Thank you for all your support!