[Drabble] Till the end
Tittle: Till the end.
Author: 暗
Genre: angst
Rating: G
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Summary: everything has a breaking point, all has a limit. Is fighting worth it? Have you ever been trusted? Is it even worth?
a/n: this is depressing, and I'm not waiting anybody to read it (actually, won't be crossposted anywhere, and probably not even my co-writer will notice it LOL). I just wanted to write it. I wrote it directly into the posting window, so I'm sorry for the errors... if somebody reads it, that's it.
It hurts till the point of not being able to breath, then it comes the emptiness... that moment when you wonder if you really exist. Un-trusted. Does anything still make sense? But it comes back, all against you’ve fought, all that you never wanted to live again... all just comes back, and you're back on track. Back to the only thing you do right, destroying yourself.
Did it ever make any sense to fight in the first place? Was it worth it?... Even if it was, all can go away in a minute, the moment it takes to go for the bottle, the moment it takes to grab the razor and start. Why to stop anymore?
Is it insane to laugh now? While seeing how the blood flows... It doesn't make any sense. You're empty, you're nothing, and you were wrong believing the opposite.
You know that'll leave a scar, every pain in your life has been marked in your body with a sick precision... that was supposed to be long forgotten, but this new one will have a new place, together with the rest. And you start walking in automatic, but knowing where you're going and what is going to happen.
Wasn't he supposed to know you? Wasn't he the one that affirmed to know you better than nobody? Wasn't he the person that said he loved you? And then you come to relive it, all the times that person accused you of not caring about him, of not wanting him in your life... all the times you got hurt, afraid of losing him, all the times you've tried all to make him stay... all was wrong. So wrong. He didn't want you, but needed you... or so he said and you thought. And you stayed there... every time, even when you said you wouldn't. You still stayed… How stupid of you.
All that times you got hurt because he said you didn't care, you didn't appreciate him... you just swallowed it, because he was suffering. But now you realize that you've been the one that haven't been appreciated. That it was always like talking to a wall, that he didn’t believe any of your words. But you will never be trusted... and you find it surprisingly normal, why would you? You're useless... And you just laugh. You just laugh because there is nothing better to do.
And you arrive there, to the top of the building. Your arms still bleeding, but you don't care, you're ready to jump, to leave all behind. Because it’s too much, because you don’t want to fight anymore. So you just step forward the edge of the building after saying your last words. All the unspoken words doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. And you see him, hear him screaming your name the moment you take the step forward. But it’s too late. “I’m sorry, Sho…”
“Masaki!”
Too late... All you have left is to wait for the impact, to the moment when it’ll be finally over.