[Drabble] Te odio (I hate you)
Author: Veridanya (軽)
Length: Drabble
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: JunBa
Disclaimer: I don't own them, slavery is illegal
Summary: Jun gets in a dangerous game, where he expects to have nothing more but pleasure then he realizes he was the one losing the most.
Warning: Unbeta-ed so excuse the grammar mistakes. Also looking for a beta that can work with any pairing
A/N: Inspired over a song called "The odio" by Los Seis Dias. You can listen it here
Jun woke up to an empty bed, again. He was more than used to it by now, it had been like this since the beginning with Masaki, at first it didn’t matter much, both knew the rules of the game, but one thing is what you know and another how you can start to feel.
He took his hand to his head, and messed his hair a bit, sighting in frustration. In what moment he had let his guard down; it was still a mystery to him. He was dumb when he open himself to be used by his friend, Masaki had just went over a nasty break-up with Sakurai and Jun...well he was still looking for ways he could feel alive, useful, that he worth something.
It had been his idea; Masaki had his doubts at first, didn’t he? - Jun smiled bitterly at the thought - but no, Jun was stubborn and very skillful if he wanted to, so he managed to make Aiba fall.
Everything was great, as great as it could be. Hot sex, no useless talk, unless they felt like it, no feelings in between. That, until Jun made a vital mistake, and let the bright smile and the dreamy eyes broke his walls, after that it was the beginning of the end.
Jun lighted up a cigarette while his mind kept wondering
Months after it, Jun became whiny, demanding, controlling, needy. That marked the difference and the turning point, Masaki got tired of it, Jun knew it, but the older boy was nice enough - that was what Jun wanted to think - or maybe he didn’t want to leave the affair with the young man quite yet, that he endured at first, but then he made his calls and visits more sporadic, until the only time they met was when Jun begged and ended up showing up in the other’s apartment leaving Masaki with no choice.
Jun wasn’t stupid, but he preferred to play the fool, because that way it hurt less, or so he liked to think.
He often found himself having a turmoil in his mind, that left him a bitter taste and anger only, towards himself for letting things escalate to this point, and towards Masaki for not have the guts to end something he didn’t want anymore, for using him to his own pleasure, for not have any type of consideration towards him. But he shook the thought out of his mind, what was the use of them, and even if he hated him…- hated him the word echoed in his mind, finally he had putted a name to it- Masaki was like a drug, that made him feel alive.
The sound of his cellphone pulled Jun out of his thoughts; he placed the cigarette in the ashtray and picked it up, the screen light up announcing an incoming message from Masaki A.
I’m sorry for not being able to tell you this face to face, but I’m done with this Jun.
Please don’t look for me never again, was fun while it lasted, but you…well doesn’t matter anymore.
Goodbye Jun.
A tear rolled down Jun’s cheek, but he wiped it quickly, he knew this day was coming but he didn’t expect it to be this soon, this hurtful, this…he couldn’t keep thinking straight, his head spinning, his legs shaking, and finally given in, making him fall on his knees and finally breaking down.
He should have known better, love wasn’t meant for him, Masaki wasn’t meant for him, but he could dream, he could hope…hope…Jun laughed bitterly, he shouldn’t had been that ambitious as to hope, how stupid of him.
Now there was only one question floating in the air, piercing his mind, now how he would be able to go on, without the only ray of light he had in his life.