LJ Idol 10 - Week 5 - Fear Is The Heart Of Love
LJ Idol - Week 5 - Fear Is The Heart Of Love
Cal shifts in his sleep, hand curled up at his face, his lips resting on his knuckles and Dylan runs his fingers through his hair gently.
They’ve not been reunited for long, a few weeks. A few terrifying weeks and Cal holding back and Dylan trying to break through the walls and show him just how much he loves him. This is the first time that Dylan has seen Cal this relaxed in sleep. His fingers twitch and Dylan circles his index finger around Cal’s palm. The tiniest hint of a smile plays at the corner of Cal’s mouth.
Dylan’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, a lot of things he’d rather forget. Walking away from Cal being top of his list, but he’s trying to make up for them now.
He runs a finger down the bridge of Cal’s nose and a small noise of protest escapes his throat. Dylan does it again and Cal’s eyes flutter open.
“Hmmm,” he grumbles, the noise vibrating in his chest where Dylan has his other hand pressed to it.
“Morning,” Dylan says, smiling through his words and pressing a kiss to the tip of Cal’s nose.
Cal winds his hands into Dylan’s hair and brushes his lips over Dylan’s.
This is what Dylan is terrified of. The ease with which they’ve slipped back into each other’s lives, how easy it would be to never leave this room, to just be. He’s terrified that he’s going to fuck up again. Terrified that he’ll walk out again because it’s simpler to not be with Cal than to face his family.
“Stop” Cal says, voice still thick with sleep and he smells of warmth as Dylan buries his nose into the crook of Cal’s neck. “Stop thinking.” Dylan huffs out a laugh against Cal’s neck.
“Did you sleep?” He asks, then scrapes his teeth across the vein in Cal’s neck before pulling away. Cal hisses and arches against him.
“Better than you, by the looks of things,” Cal says, running his thumb over the dark circles Dylan knows are under his own eyes.
“I’m ok,” Dylan says, curling his fingers around Cal’s hand and kissing his knuckles. He rolls off Cal and pushes himself upright. Cal sighs and Dylan hears him moving behind him. Cal winds himself around Dylan, legs crossing around Dylan’s waist and his hand pressed to Dylan’s chest.
“What are you scared of?” Cal says in Dylan’s ear, voice low and gentle like he’s talking to a skittish horse. Dylan huffs out a laugh because Cal always knows what’s going with him.
“You, us, this, of messing up and never getting this back again, of losing you forever because I was an idiot,” Dylan says, his hands over Cal’s.
Cal goes to move away, to wind himself around Dylan to face him but Dylan holds on and keeps him where he is.
“You are an idiot,” Cal says. “Dyl…” he breathes into Dylan’s ear. “I love you.”
It’s the first time Cal’s said it since High School and Dylan smiles and he knows Cal can feel the smile against his temple. He feels Cal swallow against his shoulder.
“Remember you said you were scared that we would work out?” Cal says and Dylan nods. “Well guess what?”
“What?”
“We’re working out...don’t run,” Cal says and Dylan manages to turn in the protective circle of Cal’s legs and arms and pushes him down against the mattress. “Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.”
“Only you would quote Dr Seuss,” Dylan laughs.
“Only you would know that I did,” Cal counters. “Look, you think I’m not terrified as well? You…” Cal starts and grimaces. He swallows and Dylan lets him find the words. “You hurt me before,” Dylan stiffens and Cal holds on, “you hurt me once before but we’re here now and I’m not going anywhere. You told me you were going to prove to me that you were in love with me.”
Dylan remembers the bar, the bold way he ran his knuckles across Cal’s cheek and told him he was in love with him.
“And you have, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Me neither.” Dylan replies.
He’s always been scared of Cal, scared of how strong his feelings for Cal are. He’s always been scared of losing him for good and he thought he had.
He looks down at Cal now and Cal grins, big, wide and honest and Dylan feels fear slipping away.
The other entries with these two can be found HERE and HERE
Cal shifts in his sleep, hand curled up at his face, his lips resting on his knuckles and Dylan runs his fingers through his hair gently.
They’ve not been reunited for long, a few weeks. A few terrifying weeks and Cal holding back and Dylan trying to break through the walls and show him just how much he loves him. This is the first time that Dylan has seen Cal this relaxed in sleep. His fingers twitch and Dylan circles his index finger around Cal’s palm. The tiniest hint of a smile plays at the corner of Cal’s mouth.
Dylan’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, a lot of things he’d rather forget. Walking away from Cal being top of his list, but he’s trying to make up for them now.
He runs a finger down the bridge of Cal’s nose and a small noise of protest escapes his throat. Dylan does it again and Cal’s eyes flutter open.
“Hmmm,” he grumbles, the noise vibrating in his chest where Dylan has his other hand pressed to it.
“Morning,” Dylan says, smiling through his words and pressing a kiss to the tip of Cal’s nose.
Cal winds his hands into Dylan’s hair and brushes his lips over Dylan’s.
This is what Dylan is terrified of. The ease with which they’ve slipped back into each other’s lives, how easy it would be to never leave this room, to just be. He’s terrified that he’s going to fuck up again. Terrified that he’ll walk out again because it’s simpler to not be with Cal than to face his family.
“Stop” Cal says, voice still thick with sleep and he smells of warmth as Dylan buries his nose into the crook of Cal’s neck. “Stop thinking.” Dylan huffs out a laugh against Cal’s neck.
“Did you sleep?” He asks, then scrapes his teeth across the vein in Cal’s neck before pulling away. Cal hisses and arches against him.
“Better than you, by the looks of things,” Cal says, running his thumb over the dark circles Dylan knows are under his own eyes.
“I’m ok,” Dylan says, curling his fingers around Cal’s hand and kissing his knuckles. He rolls off Cal and pushes himself upright. Cal sighs and Dylan hears him moving behind him. Cal winds himself around Dylan, legs crossing around Dylan’s waist and his hand pressed to Dylan’s chest.
“What are you scared of?” Cal says in Dylan’s ear, voice low and gentle like he’s talking to a skittish horse. Dylan huffs out a laugh because Cal always knows what’s going with him.
“You, us, this, of messing up and never getting this back again, of losing you forever because I was an idiot,” Dylan says, his hands over Cal’s.
Cal goes to move away, to wind himself around Dylan to face him but Dylan holds on and keeps him where he is.
“You are an idiot,” Cal says. “Dyl…” he breathes into Dylan’s ear. “I love you.”
It’s the first time Cal’s said it since High School and Dylan smiles and he knows Cal can feel the smile against his temple. He feels Cal swallow against his shoulder.
“Remember you said you were scared that we would work out?” Cal says and Dylan nods. “Well guess what?”
“What?”
“We’re working out...don’t run,” Cal says and Dylan manages to turn in the protective circle of Cal’s legs and arms and pushes him down against the mattress. “Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.”
“Only you would quote Dr Seuss,” Dylan laughs.
“Only you would know that I did,” Cal counters. “Look, you think I’m not terrified as well? You…” Cal starts and grimaces. He swallows and Dylan lets him find the words. “You hurt me before,” Dylan stiffens and Cal holds on, “you hurt me once before but we’re here now and I’m not going anywhere. You told me you were going to prove to me that you were in love with me.”
Dylan remembers the bar, the bold way he ran his knuckles across Cal’s cheek and told him he was in love with him.
“And you have, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Me neither.” Dylan replies.
He’s always been scared of Cal, scared of how strong his feelings for Cal are. He’s always been scared of losing him for good and he thought he had.
He looks down at Cal now and Cal grins, big, wide and honest and Dylan feels fear slipping away.
The other entries with these two can be found HERE and HERE