Ficlet: On the Benefits of a Classical Education
I am officially done with grading for the semester! Granted, it will start back up again as soon as my summer TAship begins, but I'm allowed a sigh of relief in the meantime, right? So, how about a little Spring Cleaning? You may recall that I said I was watching Jeeves and Wooster while grading the other day - well, that inevitably reminded me of this:
Title: On the Benefits of a Classical Education
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Characters: Bertie Wooster, Jeeves
Words: 250
Rating: G
Warnings: Gratuitous references to Latin grammar
Summary: Adventures in grading, Wodehouse-style.
Notes: Sometime last semester, at about 1:00 a.m. after a round of grading student papers, I reached that point of giddy insanity where the idea of writing one's grading comments in Wodehousian pastiche seems like basically the funniest thing, ever. My coping mechanisms, let me show you them. Not posted at the time because, well, it's the sort of thing that seems terribly funny at one o'clock in the morning after a night of grading papers.
"What ho, Student! Jolly good work and all that rot. But I say, that is some dashed rummy punctuation, I mean to say, what? Bally difficult to parse, if that's the word I want. If you were a bit tight when you wrote it, well, I can't say I blame you. (I don't think I'd make it through a stack of these thingummies without a restorative glass of the old w. and s.)
But next time, it would - what's the word I want, Jeeves? Starts with be?"
"Behoove, sir."
"That's the ticket. Next time, old thing, it would behoove you to tackle the thing again once you've slept it off. Before turning it in, I mean. Did I miss anything, Jeeves?"
"It would be advisable, sir, to include a gentle reminder that, in spite of the tendency to anglicize it away in colloquial speech, the term Homo sapiens should always end in an 's.'"
"My word, Jeeves, shouldn't they know that already?"
"Indubitably, sir."
"Even I know that. It's something to do with Latin partridges."
"Participles, sir. I fear that the merits of a classical education are no longer as well-regarded as once they were."
"I was never any great decliner of n.'s and conjugator of v's, and what not, but it does seem a shame to let the old sys. die out. There's not a member of the Drones who wasn't squeezed through a classical education during their formative years."
"I suppose there is also that point to be considered, sir."
Finis
About 24 hours and as many student papers later, I took it a step further and wrote one featuring Sherlock grading papers. He just failed them all. It was rather cathartic.
Bertie, I fear, would consider failing anyone to be very un-preux chevalier.
Title: On the Benefits of a Classical Education
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Characters: Bertie Wooster, Jeeves
Words: 250
Rating: G
Warnings: Gratuitous references to Latin grammar
Summary: Adventures in grading, Wodehouse-style.
Notes: Sometime last semester, at about 1:00 a.m. after a round of grading student papers, I reached that point of giddy insanity where the idea of writing one's grading comments in Wodehousian pastiche seems like basically the funniest thing, ever. My coping mechanisms, let me show you them. Not posted at the time because, well, it's the sort of thing that seems terribly funny at one o'clock in the morning after a night of grading papers.
"What ho, Student! Jolly good work and all that rot. But I say, that is some dashed rummy punctuation, I mean to say, what? Bally difficult to parse, if that's the word I want. If you were a bit tight when you wrote it, well, I can't say I blame you. (I don't think I'd make it through a stack of these thingummies without a restorative glass of the old w. and s.)
But next time, it would - what's the word I want, Jeeves? Starts with be?"
"Behoove, sir."
"That's the ticket. Next time, old thing, it would behoove you to tackle the thing again once you've slept it off. Before turning it in, I mean. Did I miss anything, Jeeves?"
"It would be advisable, sir, to include a gentle reminder that, in spite of the tendency to anglicize it away in colloquial speech, the term Homo sapiens should always end in an 's.'"
"My word, Jeeves, shouldn't they know that already?"
"Indubitably, sir."
"Even I know that. It's something to do with Latin partridges."
"Participles, sir. I fear that the merits of a classical education are no longer as well-regarded as once they were."
"I was never any great decliner of n.'s and conjugator of v's, and what not, but it does seem a shame to let the old sys. die out. There's not a member of the Drones who wasn't squeezed through a classical education during their formative years."
"I suppose there is also that point to be considered, sir."
Finis
About 24 hours and as many student papers later, I took it a step further and wrote one featuring Sherlock grading papers. He just failed them all. It was rather cathartic.
Bertie, I fear, would consider failing anyone to be very un-preux chevalier.