A Kiss Before Dying (9/10)
Title: A Kiss Before Dying (9/10)
Rating: R for language
Summary: 15 year old Veronica has never been kissed and Lamb makes her a promise.
Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith, Sacks
Spoilers: will eventually be through entire series but AU from 3X14
Word Count: 2502
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or the phrase ‘A Kiss Before Dying.’
A/N: This story is now completely AU
-------
I was worried. Beyond worried.
It was almost 2AM, he still hadn't come home and I hadn't heard from him. I was just sitting on his couch staring at the door waiting.
I started trying to think up reasons for him to be late. I'd seen him at 3 that's 11 hours. Was there a standoff, was he interrogating someone, did someone get hurt? That one made my heart hurt, what if it was him or my dad? I hadn't heard from him either.
I'd texted Lamb around midnight and hadn't received a reply. Oh my god.
No, no everything was fine. I just kept telling myself that over and over.
It was 3 o'clock before I heard the key in the door and I was off the couch, heart pounding in anticipation. When the door opened I was practically ready to launch myself at him. But I didn't, because it wasn't him that walked in the door and I stood there staring as I felt my world crashing down around me. "Dad?"
The minute the bat impacted I think my heart stopped.
Everything after that happened so fast that I don't remember much more then dropping to ground, pulling off my jacket and putting it under his head trying to stop the bleeding where the bat cracked his skull.
His eyes were barely open and I heard him say something, it was faint but recognizable. "Veronica." I think that was the moment my world shattered because two seconds later his eyes were closed and he was gone.
The only thing I could think was, 'please god let her forgive me.' Forgive me for keeping them apart and for not feeling guilty about it. For not stepping back and telling her that I wanted her to be happy when I finally realized that there was something between them and it was mutual. But most of all I was praying to god to forgive me for taking her from him, because now he'd never be with her and it was my fault.
When the EMTs showed up Sacks put his hand on my shoulder, it was still shaking from having to shoot Botando, and he motioned for me to move so the paramedics could do their job. I stood up numbly, still hating myself for what I'd done to them.
When I heard them say they had a pulse I almost dropped to my knees and prayed. For him. For her. For us. For everything to be ok.
Before I knew it I was outside and Sacks was shoving me into the ambulance with Lamb and we were on our way to the hospital. I was still praying and they were still trying to keep him alive long enough to get him to the hospital and into surgery.
It wasn't looking good and I was in a daze the whole way. Torturing myself the whole trip with memories of the way they used to look at each other, the way she used to run to him when she needed comfort, the way he treated her like the princess she was and how happy she had seemed lately, because of him. I'd had a feeling before but now I knew for sure, she was happy because if him. I was in my own personal guilt ridden hell.
I sat in the waiting room for hours hoping to hear something, anything, but no news came. And although this was one of those times where no news was good news, that still left me with nothing and a daughter at home with not even a clue that her whole life had been turned upside down.
Sacks joined me around 8PM, brought me food that I didn't eat, neither did he, and he just sat there with me.
The nurses had given me Don's personal effects, his phone, wallet and keys and I'd considered looking through his contacts for family before remembering that he didn't have any. We had been his family. That's what made the tears break through finally. I'd been so angry with him for no reason, it wasn't his fault, it was my choice to go after Jake Kane and all he did was try to keep me from making a mistake. But I didn't listen, not even for a second and instead of just upturning mine, Lianne and Veronica's lives, I upturned his too, taking the only real family, the only people who'd ever really loved him, away from him. God, what had I done?
When we still hadn't heard anything by 11PM I gave in and went through his wallet looking for his insurance information and anything that might help me to make plans. I was trying not to lose faith but I had to be realistic and I also knew that if I didn't do it, Veronica would, and I didn't want to put her through it.
There wasn't much in the wallet, a few credit cards, his driver's license and a few Java Hut punch cards. I thought that was it until I pulled out his insurance card and something else fell out.
I picked it up and unfolded it, my breath catching in my throat. There was a picture of him with Veronica on her 16th birthday, both of them smiling at the camera, their arms wrapped around each other. The picture was folded inside of a crumpled and worn note. The first three lines were unmistakably in Don's handwriting.
I promise that this won't be the last time I kiss you.
And I promise that someday we will have this again, just you and me.
And I don't break my promises.
But the bottom line was all Veronica.
You too Deputy.
I sat there staring at it for awhile and it actually made me smile a little. I'd been right, they had been seeing each other. Maybe not steadily, but they had.
That was the moment I promised myself that I'd step back and let them be together. If he made it, if she wanted to be with him, then I wouldn't get in the way.
When his phone beeped around midnight I left it alone. I was afraid of who it was from and what it would say. I didn't want to intrude on his privacy, or Veronica's for that matter, because I was pretty sure it was from her.
Sacks apparently didn't agree. He grabbed the phone and checked the message laughing a little. "Here."
He handed it to me with a smile on his face and I read the message.
From Goldilocks: I'm here. Where R U? Worried n lonely. <3 V
I laughed and looked over at Sacks. "So I take it this isn't a surprise to you?"
He shook his head. "There's a pool at the station. Has been for over three years."
Figures.
After 9 hours in surgery the doctor finally came out to talk to us. It was 2AM and I was tired and worried and scared and nothing the doctor said made me feel much better.
He'd died twice on the table but they got him back. He was in a coma, there was only a 10% chance of him waking up and even if he did, there was a 65% chance that he'd be permanently physically and/or cognitively impaired. Basically it didn't look good and they told us to notify family.
When Sacks looked at me with sympathy I lost it again. I sat for a few minutes trying to regaining my composure and then they let me in to see him.
I pulled a chair up to the bed and sat with him for awhile, not knowing what to do or say, so I said and did nothing.
By 2:30 I knew I needed to stop stalling. I got up, grabbed his hand and I said the only thing on my mind that I thought might make a difference at all. "She's yours now so don't you dare disappoint her. Or me. You have promises to keep Deputy."
I left the room, got into my car and headed to his apartment, dreading what was about to happen the whole way.
How do you tell the daughter you adore that the man she loves might not be coming back to her?
He smiled a little, his eyes were red and it looked like maybe he'd been crying.
No, no everything was fine. It was ok, everything was ok, I was jumping to conclusions, he'd just figured it out and he'd come over to retrieve me.
He finally responded to me. "Hi sweetheart." He walked towards me cautiously and I just stood there in shock.
"What are…..?" I couldn't get the words out.
"How long has this been going on, Veronica?"
I looked down, I felt ashamed, but I was mad that I felt that way because I didn't want to and I had no reason to, I love Don Lamb it's as simple as that. "Not long."
I looked back at him and he nodded. "I wondered when you two would finally give in."
My mouth dropped and he smiled. "You mean you….you knew?"
He laughed then, but it felt strained. "I'm not blind Veronica. I've known for years. The minute you hit 13 I prayed that you two could just hold out until you were 18. Hell, after Lilly died I was surprised you made it past 16. Although I'm sure part of that's my fault. I never meant for my personal feelings to get in the way of your happiness." I just stood there in shock listening to him. He knew? The whole time he knew? "I guess I thought it had been just a childhood crush on your part when you stopped spending time with him. But that wasn't it was it?"
I shook my head. "No, I thought….I guess I thought that I'd be betraying you."
He hung his head and when he looked at me again there were a few tears running down his cheeks and I felt my heart breaking. No, no this wasn't happening.
"Oh Veronica, I'm so sorry, if I'd known, if I'd realized it earlier, I would have told you. I wouldn't have gotten in the way."
I felt numb and sick and I could feel the walls closing in. No, no everything was fine. "I didn't tell you though. I hid it from you, I hid it from everybody. It's not your fault."
He wiped his eyes and stepped closer. "But that doesn't excuse it. Especially what I did to him. He's always loved you, you know. And I took you from him."
"I love him too dad." That was the minute that I saw my dad's heart break and I just lost it. "He's…..he's not…. he's not coming home is he?" And I started to cry, hard, chest heaving sobs. "No. No. No. No. No."
The next thing I knew my dad's arms were around me and he was pulling me down onto the couch. "Not tonight baby."
I looked back up at him through a cascade of tears. Had I heard that right? Tonight? He's not…. oh my god. "What?"
"Honey, he's not dead. But it's not good."
I stared at him and I didn't know whether to scream or cry or jump for joy. He was alive, but it wasn't good? I might still lose him? No, no this wasn't happening. "What happened?"
He gave me a play by play, telling me everything. The bat hit him in one of the worst spots it could and he hit the ground immediately. My dad said the last thing he said before closing his eyes was my name and that he thought Don was gone. When the EMTs arrived they found a faint pulse and rushed him to the hospital where they took him right into surgery. When he told me that he died twice on the table I burst into tears again and I didn't stop, not even when he told me that they got him back, because it gave me no comfort. He hadn't woken up and was in a coma, they didn't know if he would ever wake up.
It wasn't fair. We'd finally…he'd promised…he never broke his promises….he promised he wouldn't die.
My dad just held me as I cried not knowing what to say or do.
I was lost. It just wasn't fucking fair.
When I'd finally cried all that I could he dried my face and took me into Don's room helping me get into bed and he went back into the living room.
I didn't sleep though, the bed smelled like him, which made sense since it was his, but it made it hurt more and I ended up just lying there thinking of him. Thinking of the last time I was in that bed. Thinking of the last things we'd said to each other. He couldn't die, he couldn't leave me, I wouldn't let him.
I stared at the clock willing time to pass so I could go to the hospital and when it reached 8AM I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower. I'd get ready and go see him, he'd wake up and he'd be ok, that was all there was to it.
After drying myself off, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was a mess. But I ignored it, it didn't matter, he was all that mattered.
I was searching through the cabinet for an extra tooth brush when I knocked his cologne over on the counter. Some of it spilled, I got a whiff of it and I started to cry again. I fell to the floor sobbing and just laid there unable to move, breath, anything for what felt like forever before I finally found the strength to pull myself back up and dress myself. I was going to see him, needed to see him and when I did it would all be ok.
When I walked into the living room I found my dad sitting there waiting for me.
He gave me a small, nervous smile. "Ready?"
I nodded and then very suddenly started to cry again.
This wasn't happening; I was supposed to be with Don this morning. In his arms. In his bed. With him.
He was supposed to have come home and made love to me and just flat out loved me. Not get hit in the head with a baseball bat and almost die, maybe still die. Oh god, it wasn't fair.
I felt my dad's arms around me as I dropped to the floor thinking about the last moments I spent with him again. We didn't even get to talk and I had something to tell him…"Oh no, oh my god."
When I didn't continue, my dad turned me to face him. "Veronica?"
I took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you."
Chapter Ten http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/57464.html#cutid1
------------------------
thanks for reading! Comment please!!