Clandestine (2/11)
Clandestine (2/11)
Chapter title: Prologue/ Giving In
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Lamb's death was faked. When the truth is revealed Veronica goes to see him and a secret relationship is formed.
Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, (mentions of Lilly, Keith, Sacks and many others
Spoilers: entire series but AU from 3X14
Word Count: 2419
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars
This story is based on a fic request from Sweetpea2100!
A/N: So I didn't originally have smut in this chapter, just an allusion to it, but I was feeling inspired this morning. So if it isn't any good I'm sorry, normally I edit the hell out of my smutty chapters. Definitely not the case with this one.
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Don’t ask me when it started because I can’t answer that question.
Mainly because I don’t really know….and well, because it was kind of always there.
And it never really ended, just got delayed or pushed to the back burner, so I can’t really say that it started again either.
I guess the best way to describe it is to say that I was born loving her and she was born loving me. And the fact that I didn’t know her until I was 18 years old doesn’t matter, because I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love her and I know she feels the same way.
We spent 6 years as friends and buddies, and for the first 3 years I had no idea that what I was feeling was love, but when it hit me, it hit me hard and I was scared to death. She was 13 and I was 21 and it was so far from ok that I spent my days in utter fear of my boss’ shotgun.
But what made it worse was that I knew she felt it too. There was something there, a connection of sorts. We were born to be together. There was no denying it.
I waited for another three years before I finally voiced the feelings I was having, I hadn’t needed to, I knew she was aware of them, but I couldn’t wait anymore, I needed her to know. So on her 16th birthday, when all of her friends were out around the pool and Keith and Lianne were bickering in the garage, I pulled her into her room and told her how I felt, and when she happily reciprocated, I kissed her.
It wasn’t her first kiss, I knew that, and not from her technique, but because that was just the way we were, there was nothing we didn’t tell each other. It was full disclosure and I think when I look back now that it was a preemptive thing, if we already knew there would be no unfortunate surprises.
She kissed me back, molding her body to mine as my arms wrapped around her and before I knew it, we were on her bed, both of us with our shirts off and my hand was on the button of her pants. I'd looked her straight in the eye and saw love, the love that had always been there and I fused my mouth back to hers, popped the button and pulled down the zipper. When my finger entered her, her breath hitched and she winced from my touch. A touch I knew she’d never felt before and my heart sped up at the thought that I was the first to grace her tight warmth.
My thumb had just brushed over her clit and we were both lost in each other when we heard the door knob turn. I’d never been so thankful for locks than I was in that moment. We quickly redressed and I hid in her closet as she opened the door and Lilly walked through. And as Lilly yanked her out the door she turned back to me with longing in her eyes. I just smiled; it was my assurance to her that what had happened was far from over.
I’d really wanted to keep that promise. I really really had.
But best intentions and promises have no place in politics and feuding. And three months later I was no longer welcome at her home, and even as much as I wanted her to be, I couldn’t let her be welcome in mine. The lines had been drawn and we were on opposite sides. It was like the civil war of Neptune, brothers, sisters, friends and lovers all on different sides.
I don’t think I ever hated her. I think what I hated was that she wasn’t mine anymore. So I took out my anger on her every chance I got. And the next thing I knew it had been 4 years and we’d grown so far apart that I could barely even feel the connection anymore. And it was a horrible feeling because even when we were snarking and doing dastardly deeds to each other I could always feel it and I knew she could too, so when it started to fade, it hurt.
I began to wonder if we had taken it too far. If we had ruined our shot with each other.
I’d done a lot of things I wasn’t proud of where it came to her, most of which haunted me all day and night, like the sight of her in that ripped white dress. I still shuddered to think about that and the way I’d treated her. And now, when I look back I think, and I know this is no excuse, but I think I was so angry at her for going to that fucking party, jealous that someone else had touched her and pissed for that same reason that I just took it out on her. It was the one thing I was sure she’d never forgive me for.
And things just stayed that way. We spent 4 and a half years bickering and snarking and tearing into each other like it was America’s favorite past time. And in all honesty, it maybe wasn’t America’s, but it was ours.
And then…
I almost died.
I spent 6 months in an LA hospital trying to regain full use of my right arm and stop the muscle spasms, but in the end I was almost like new. I still had the shakes every once in awhile but they were minor and the day they released me Sacks showed up and took me home.
I’d been seeing a lot of him. He visited every few days and brought me news from the outside. What he didn’t tell me was that they faked my death. I didn’t find that out until 2 weeks before I was released.
I was relieved when he told me because I’d been devastated that she hadn’t even stopped by to see me, Keith had been by multiple times, it was always awkward but he came, and he had never once mentioned her. So I was pretty much convinced that she didn’t want me in her life and even a near death experience wouldn’t change her mind. So when Sacks gave me the news, my heart swelled with hope.
Now that I was being released the information would be revealed, apparently there had been a huge take down with Vinnie Van Lowe and the Fitzpatricks and Keith was acting as sheriff until I was fit to take back the office. But I wasn’t in a hurry and to be honest I didn’t care, job or no job, apartment or no apartment the only thing on my mind was forgiveness...hers that is.
When Sacks got me home he helped me get settled, he’d even gone to the store for me and stocked my fridge and cupboards and when it was obvious that I was ready to rest he left me alone. It was good to be home, beyond good.
I laid back on my couch and fell asleep quickly.
I don’t know how long I was out, but I do know that when I woke up, I wasn’t alone. She was sitting in my arms chair staring at me, almost like she was waiting for me to do a double back flip or some sort of trick.
I sat up and returned her gaze noticing for the first time that her eyes were red and it looked like she’d been crying. I wanted to hold her but didn’t want to push it. So I sat there and waited for her to talk, it didn’t take long.
She clasped her hands together and lowered her head. “They told me you were dead.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “So I hear. I didn’t know until recently Veronica. I’m sorry if it caused you any pain, if I caused you….” I knew I just needed to do it, this was my chance and it might be my only chance. “I’m sorry.”
She looked up at me then, surprise evident on her face. “What?”
I bit the bullet then, I rose from the couch, walked over to her, kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hands half expecting her to pull away and when she didn’t, I inwardly celebrated. “I’m sorry for every shitty thing I said or did. I didn’t mean any of it. And fuck, if I could take it back… be like we were, I would, you have to know I would.”
She sat there for a few seconds before she responded. “I thought you were dead.”
Ok, we were going backwards now. I went to speak but she stopped me. “I spent 6 months mourning you in private, pretending to be ok, be happy, I spent 4 months dating a guy that I didn’t even like because I thought you were gone and that I needed to find someone else. And I’ve spent the last two days trying to figure out exactly when it was that I forgave you, because I don’t know when I did, but I did. And I’m sorry too. For the things I did to you.”
I brought my hand to her cheek. “I forgave you for those a long time ago Mars.”
I wasn’t expecting any of this, but I was beyond happy. And then she did something really unexpected, she leaned in and kissed me.
So I kissed her back.
When I pulled her to me she slid off the chair and into my lap, her legs wrapping around my waist as our tongues fought for dominance. Her body arched into mine as I removed my lips from hers and left a trail of kisses from her jaw line down to her collarbone and back up to her pulse point. She moaned my name and bucked her hips when I bit her lightly. “Lamb.”
And with that I slowly stood up, her body still wrapped around mine and moved towards the bedroom. Within two steps her shirt was gone, followed by mine and then her bra. By the time we made it to my bedroom door I wasn’t sure I was even gonna make it the next 10 feet as she kept bucking against my raging hard on. So I shoved her against the wall and pressed my body against hers as I ripped open the button and zipper on her pants and shoved my hand inside.
When my first finger entered her we both shuddered and she moaned again arching her naked chest against mine. And as I began moving my finger inside of her, I cupped her right breast, kissed her hard on the lips and then moved my mouth to her left nipple. She gasped as it took it between my teeth and she pulled me closer. “Oh god! Need you now.”
Fuck, I was pretty sure I needed her more, but I also knew I wasn’t going to last long and I really wanted to make this good for her. I added a second finger and she angled down pressing both of my digits into her further, the palm of my hand applying pressure to her clit. “God baby, you’re so tight.”
She moaned at my words and when her tiny hand came down and cupped me I groaned her name. “Fuck Veronica! Feel so good.”
As I brought my lips back to hers, my fingers still working her and my hand still massaging her bare breast, she unbuckled my belt and undid my pants, using her legs to push them down as best she could.
Pushing back slightly, but still close enough to keep my lips on hers, I removed the hand from her breast and slid them down the rest of the way letting my boxers join them. And as I kicked them off my feet I placed my left hand under her ass, my right hand still thrusting inside her warm wet pussy and finally moved us to the bed.
When I dropped her onto the mattress I wasted no time ripping her pants from her body and sending her panties to join them. And before I knew it, my cock had replaced my fingers and I’d hit home.
She gasped and cried out as I entered her and I couldn’t contain my groan as her body enveloped me. “God, Veronica, I've wanted this for so long.”
“Me too. Oh God! Me too!”
As I started to move her walls began to contract and clutched me inside of her and with a twist of my hips she was over the edge, crying out in ecstasy.
With her arms and legs trapping me against her body and her warm pussy convulsing around me I knew I was about done. My movements became erratic and short and we both started to moan as I moved my hand between us and pressed onto her sensitive nub. And when she came, I followed her immediately crushing her to me and yelling her name at the same time as she dug her nails into my back and screamed mine.
Round one may have been short but it was phenomenal none the less. And after a few moments of rest round two was even more mind-blowing than the first.
An hour later we were laying in my bed with our naked limbs tangled in each other and she was resting her head on my chest as I stroked her back lightly. It was probably….no it was, the greatest night of my life.
I was half asleep and totally at peace when her voice brought me back to Earth. “What do you say we keep this to ourselves for a while? Let the fallout from your resurrection die down a little. “
I sat up and pushed her onto her back, hovering my body over hers. “Are you saying you want me Mars?”
She nodded but looked nervous. “Only if you want me.”
I smiled and kissed her deeply. “Always have, always will. And if you want this to be a clandestine romance that’s fine with me it kind of always has been. But someday Veronica Mars, the whole world is gonna know about you and me.”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around me tight. “I hope that someday comes soon.”
“So do I.”
So I don’t know when it began. But I do know when we finally gave in.
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To be continued…………..
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Chapter 3: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/59560.html#cutid1
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