Everything About Her (4/13)
Everything About Her (4/13)
Chapter title: Fear
Rating: R for language in this chapter
Summary: A collection of short one-shots that show Lamb’s POV during Veronica’s pregnancy
Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith
Spoilers: entire series but AU from 3X14
Word Count: 1448
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars
A/N: This is a Follow up to my fic ‘A Kiss Before Dying’ which you should read first. Follow this link to the last chapter which contains links to the whole story: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/57464.html
This follows the months of Veronica’s pregnancy and focuses on certain events or experiences, in no specific order.
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Fear:
From the minute I wake up and find out I'm going to be a father I'm on cloud 9. I never go through that initial fear that many expectant fathers have.
I don't worry about being a good father, I know I will be. I feel no apprehension about the fact that a tiny life will be in my hands, that I will have to feed, clothe and raise that little person, I know I can do all of that, I'm positive. And I know more than anything that I can love them with all my heart.
I never have any of those initial fears because I know that as long as I have Veronica by my side, I can do anything.
So fear isn't in my vocabulary. Excitement, elation and euphoria would work though. Veronica's opinion on the whole ordeal just bleeds over onto me and I'm content.
In fact the majority of her pregnancy is smooth sailing, which considering our past is pretty remarkable.
But saying that I don't feel fear at all during those months is a lie, because there is one point that I do. But it isn't fear for my duties as father or our abilities to love our child.
It's fear for Veronica and our baby.
You can baby proof your home, she can eat the right foods and stay away from the wrong ones, you can be cautious and careful, and you can plan everything down to the smallest detail. But what you can't plan for; is the unexpected.
About a month and a half after I get out of the hospital I'm at the station talking with Keith.
Veronica is five months pregnant and still sick as a dog every morning but happy as pie about everything else. Keith and I are joking about her uncharacteristically upbeat attitude as of late when the call comes over the scanner. Two car collision; and when we hear the license plate of the second car I think both of our hearts stop. We're out the door in seconds and we're on the scene 5 minutes later.
My heart's pounding and I'm sweating and the only thing I can think of is her and the baby and praying that they aren't harmed.
But when I see the Saturn my heart drops into my stomach.
Veronica was in the left lane of a one way street on her way home. The other driver was speeding and took a sharp turn onto to the street she was on and lost control, slamming right into the passenger side of Veronica's car. The car which was presently sandwiched between the truck that hit it and the side of a building.
I run from the cruiser with Keith hot on my heels searching for her frantically and when I get to the front of the Saturn and see her stuck inside I really almost lose it as fear courses through my veins.
She has a large cut on her forehead and the left side of her face is smeared with blood, otherwise she looks ok but I'm still worried as hell.
When she sees me running towards her through the cracked windshield there are tears in her eyes immediately. I climb up the hood of the Saturn and stick my hand around the side through the broken driver's side window. Veronica grabs it and squeezes hard. "Are you ok? Is the baby ok, you're not having contractions are you?"
She shakes her head and the tears increase. "No, I think I'm ok, just get me out of here."
I squeeze her hand back and put my other hand on the windshield, hers comes up to the other side under mine and all I want to do is get her out of there and spend the rest of my life protecting her. "I'll be right back baby, I'm gonna get you out of there, just hold on ok."
I try to stay calm, it isn't easy but I know I have to stay strong for her, if I don't it will affect her and I can't have that.
When I get back to Keith he's talking with the fire chief and discussing the problem. They can't get her out of there without cutting the car open and they're afraid to cause too much movement considering her pregnancy. I stand there almost bewildered by their blatant disregard for the obvious, sure the doors and the back aren't an option, but she isn't obstructed in the car by anything and she could easily get out through the windshield.
I keep trying to tell them but they aren't listening and I finally get tired of waiting. This isn't ok, this needs to happen fast. We need to get her out of there and to the hospital to make sure that she's ok. The longer she sits there the more scared she gets, she's already near hyperventilation and I'm scared to death that this will send her into premature labor and it's way too soon.
So I do what I do best; I act first and don't bother with the thinking part.
I grab a crow bar from the cruiser and walk back to the mangled mess of metal that my girl is trapped in. I haven't even made it up the hood when I feel Keith grab my arm and help me.
She looks so scared and worried and I reach my hand through the driver's side window again trying to comfort her. "Veronica, cover your head and move towards the door as much as you can."
She nods and does just that, and once she's curled up by the side of the car I break through the windshield on the passenger side and climb inside with Keith's help. The minute I'm in there she's in my arms, crying and kissing me, begging me to get her out of there and I promise her I will.
I cover her with my body as Keith breaks out the rest of the windshield and then I pull her into my lap and help her through the shards of glass and over the dashboard into her father's waiting arms. Paramedics are standing by and she's in the ambulance before I'm even out of the car.
Keith and I follow her with the sirens on the whole way and when we get to the hospital they make us wait in the waiting room. It's almost an hour before they come to get us and it's probably one of the worst of my life.
Baby books can prepare you for feeding and burping, colic and teething, bathing and labor, but they can't prepare you for what life hands you. They don't prepare you for accidents or careless drivers.
And the whole time the only thing I can think of is that I'm lucky as hell that she hadn't been hurt or killed, because from the severity of the accident she probably should have been.
She starts crying the minute we get in the room and refuses to let go of me after she hugs her dad so I end up in bed with her.
After months in a hospital bed I never wanted to spend the night in one again, but after what happened, there's nowhere else I'm willing to be.
She gets by with some scrapes and bruises, 12 stitches in her forehead and a concussion, but that's it and the doctor actually mentions how amazed he is by how few injuries she has. Veronica makes a comment about guardian angels and I know it's true. This kid's got more than one and thank god for that. It's the first time in my life I'm actually thankful for Lilly Kane.
They keep her for 3 days just to make sure, they monitor her and the baby continuously and even do an ultrasound so they can see for sure.
I'm lying in bed with her, holding her as the wand moves over her belly and suddenly the technician smiles, and god if that isn't a fucking welcome reaction.
When the ultrasound technician asks us if we want to know the sex we answer at the same time.
"No."
We look at each other and smile because we both can't wait to be surprised.
We both realize how lucky we are in that moment, and the fear is gone.
We know it won't be the last time we feel it and we're better prepared for it now. But we also know that you can't stop the world from moving around you. All you can do is take care of the little piece that you exist in.
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Chapter Five http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/60872.html
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