(Im)Perfection (L/V, D/V, L/H) NC-17
Title: (Im)Perfection (1a/1)
Author: Me
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20125 total (I couldn't fit it all in one post), this section: 7269
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Logan/Veronica, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Hannah
Note: Future-fic. Also? Seriously AU after “One Angry Veronica.” Like, this is some AU-ing shit. Ruined lives and bloodshed AU. Fucked up AU. Example? Duncan didn’t leave Neptune, and he and Veronica stayed together. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t judge.
2. The format of the fic is weird, I didn’t really set a time period for each segment. Hopefully, it’s clear when each part occurred, but for the most part, it’s just supposed to be a jumble of events in a five-year span.
3. Special thanks goes to my beta solflower22. I loves you!
Written for the loveathons “Lessons Learned” challenge.
Summary: The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. -- John Powell
The wedding had come and gone without incident. His mother didn’t object like she had threatened, and Veronica showed up like she had promised. The vows were quick and to the point, and they kept their first kiss as man and wife neat and chaste. They walked down the aisle together with Faith- his daughter, their daughter- between them, as one big, happy family. The reception was held in the Neptune Grand ballroom, with four hundred of the Kanes’ closest family and friends (the irony made Veronica smirk, and Duncan was quick to warn her to behave).
Twenty-three years old, happy, and in love. The perfect wedding.
Veronica didn’t want to wear a traditional wedding dress, so they had compromised on a long, white sundress. Of course, Celeste flipped out, but that was why Veronica was the bride. Her hair was long and straight, diamonds decorating her ears, neck, and wrists. Her make-up was simple, although he didn’t understand why she used that eyeshadow to make her eyes smoky. All it did was make her look intimidating.
There was no shoving of cake in each other’s faces. Veronica fed Duncan and Duncan fed Veronica and then they fed Faith. It was all sweet and tender and perfect and there were many pictures taken. They posed and smiled and laughed and he chose not to notice that Veronica’s smile had almost vanished by the third round of pictures.
Keith had shaken Duncan’s hand, but Duncan was too worried by Veronica’s almost detached attitude towards the whole thing. He had caught her staring longingly at a picture of the Eiffel Tower that hung in the lobby of Kane Software the day before. When he questioned her, she had blinked and smiled in that absent way of hers that was quickly becoming a permanent expression.
All of their friends were there, it was just like old times- all the 09ers and their families hanging out, and he had married his first love. Just like the way it should be.
Almost. Logan wasn’t his best man, as he should’ve been. In fact, Logan didn’t even come to the wedding.
He did his best to ignore the murmurs over his (former) best friend’s absence, all the rumors and the lies and the half-truths and the total truths. If he had paid attention to all that absurdity, he and Veronica never would’ve gotten to the altar.
Jake sighed, nudging Duncan with his shoulder. “So, where’s the new Mrs. Kane? The guests are waiting.”
“She’ll be here.” Duncan frowned, worried.
Veronica had disappeared from the party over thirty minutes ago, claiming she needed to get some air, and there was still no sign of her. His father wanted to take pictures of the wedding party by the lovebirds ice sculpture, and they were all waiting for the blushing bride. He started to wonder if she was all right, if she had ripped her dress, if something had happened-
“Sorry! I’m here!”
Duncan smiled, turning to face Veronica as she rushed over to the group. The grin faded as he spotted her looking unusually frazzled, her smile strained and her eyes holding a distinct anxiety. His eyes narrowed as he spotted her swollen lips, her faintly smudged lipstick. Her hair was wilder than it was a half hour ago, and her face was flushed.
“Veronica...”
She gave Duncan a tight smile, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. “Sorry. I just got flustered.”
Duncan stared at her hard, slowly putting two and two together. Not wanting to put two and two together. Hoping it all didn’t add up. Hoping that the lies and the half-truths and the complete truths were all just words with nothing behind them. He wanted to believe that it was over.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
The first time was brought about by alcohol and a need for revenge by both parties.
Logan sighed, closing the suite door with a satisfying slam. The removal of the security ankle bracelet was a reason to party, and he sure did. Almost a dozen drinks, and a shot of tequila had proven to be his downfall. At least he out-drank Dick. Logan shook his head, blinking rapidly to rid himself of the spots in front of his eyes. “Easy, now...”
“Talking to yourself?”
He froze, leaning against the door. He knew that slightly slurred voice anywhere, and he wasn’t sure if she was really in the room or if his pesky inner voice was playing a trick on him. He really needed to stop watching Rescue Me. “Veronica?”
“Logan Echolls.”
With a frown, he pushed off the door, glancing over the couch. There was Veronica Mars’s little blonde head poking out from behind the arm of the couch. “Veronica...” He stumbled around, stopping when he spotted her sitting on the floor, knees gathered up to her chest. Tiny liquor bottles decorated the floor, and she had begun putting them in long, alphabetical rows. “Veronica. What...are you digging through the mini-bar?”
She didn’t look up at him, primly setting a white and red bottle next to the mini-Heineken. “Maybe.”
“Well, nice to know you’ve taken up a hobby to deal with the sexual frustration...”
“Yeah, I’m trying your method of getting drunk and stupid.” she managed, holding up a small black bottle of vodka.
“Careful, Veronica, you’re looking a bit like your mother there.”
A small, bitter smile. “Coming from the son of a murderer, I think I better hide the ashtrays before you get really angry.”
Veronica- 1, Logan- 0.
He made a mental note not to drink when he was to spar with Veronica before flopping down on the couch. He licked his lips slowly as he tilted to the side to get a better look at what she was doing. “What’s going on?”
“I’m waiting for Duncan.”
“He’s at the hospital.”
Veronica nodded, his shoulders drooping slightly as she carefully opened up a small bottle of coconut rum. “He hid it from me,” she murmured, downing the bottle’s contents before making a horribly disgusted face.
Logan frowned, already knowing where this was going. No, Duncan hadn’t told him shit, but word got around quickly at school, and it didn’t take an idiot to realize that all eyes were on Neptune High’s golden couple, waiting eagerly for the explosion. “Hid what?”
Veronica was quiet for a moment, trying not to think about Meg’s swollen belly, the idea of her and Duncan having that bond forever, even in death. She tried not to think of what possible reason Duncan could’ve had for hiding it from her. All she knew was that this wasn’t over- the Kane’s lawyers were probably making phone calls at that very minute.
“Meg was pregnant.”
“And now Meg’s dead,” he said with a sigh.
“Logan.”
Logan shook his head, holding out his hand and wiggling his fingers at her. She slammed a small raspberry wine cooler against his palm. “Meg’s dead, baby. Meg’s dead.”
She spun around to glare at him, fire in her eyes. “Can you stop quoting crappy movies for just two seconds? Meg’s dead.”
He met her glare, unwilling to back down. Death was the natural end of things. Lilly, his mother, Felix, and now poor, sweet Meg. The dead got off scot free while the living continued to suffer- he had no pity for them. “Hey, Pulp Fiction is a classic-”
“I promised Meg I would take care of the baby.”
He frowned, watching as she climbed awkwardly to her feet, knocking over empty liquor bottles in the process. She used the arm of the couch for support, leaning against the couch for a moment before straightening up, and he did the same, throwing his feet on the coffee table. “What kind of promise?”
She sighed. “I wouldn’t let her parents get to Faith.”
Logan raised his eyebrows as he twirled the mini bottle of wine over his fingers. “As opposed to the father who has violent fits?”
Veronica wagged a finger at him, shuffling around the couch and dropping next to him. “I thought about that. Luckily, Duncan still takes his meds.”
“For now.” Logan grinned slightly, silently noting the dark humor of it all. “What if he gets frazzled and forgets and the damn kid just won’t shut up- this kid is going to have one sucky life.”
“Logan-” she cut herself off, thinking about what he was saying. Damn logic. “Crap.”
“Uh huh.”
Veronica frowned, wondering where this was all going to go. Duncan had to be reminded to take his meds, he hated them. Yes, he was more fun without them, but unless the world wanted a raging jock on their hands... “Dammit,” she whispered, realizing just how much of a possibility it was for Duncan to forget his meds now. She straightened up, trying to give off an air of confidence. “Well. He has me here, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Logan sighed, glancing at the ceiling. There she went with that future talk, that “forever and ever” love bullshit, all things she couldn’t give to him but gave willingly to Duncan, and God, he needed a drink. “Until you get tired of it.” She turned, glaring at him, and he laughed. “Come on, Veronica- can you really see yourself playing mommy?”
“I wouldn’t-”
“You would,” he intoned, opening up the bottle of liquor. “You will become this little shit’s mommy, ‘cause that’s what DK wants, whether you like it or not.”
She suddenly sat up in her seat, staring at Logan. “Did you know he told me,” she paused, swallowing hard. “That this kid had nothing to do with me and him?” Logan laughed, and she nodded. “Exactly.”
“That’s our Duncan, the oblivious bastard.” Logan mumbled, downing the wine cooler. “He’s a keeper.”
“He is,” Veronica said sharply.
Logan snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “If you say so, Helen Keller.”
Veronica frowned, unsure of how to respond to his latest burn, and just a bit thrown off that he had called her deaf, dumb, and blind by way of historic figure. “Shut up.”
He nodded. “Good one.”
“Duncan loves me-”
“So much so that he hid his illegitimate child from you, his doting, ever-loyal girlfriend.” Logan cut her off tersely. She laughed in that mocking way of hers and he found himself growing more angry. He sat up, determined to respond before she could pull the jealousy card on him. “I’m drunk, but I’m not stupid. If I would’ve pulled that, you would’ve dumped me so fast...he must have a way with his tongue or something.”
She stared at him, a small smile playing on her lips. Logan was angry, he was actually pissed off. “Logan, are you jeal-”
“You’re a fucking doormat,” he snapped, climbing to his feet and walking away from her.
Veronica scowled, pushing herself off the couch and following him. “I am upset, for your information. He hid this from me and I’m pissed.”
He smiled bitterly, throwing the empty bottle on the ground. “I’ve learned that deception is a big part of the Kane family. You’ll see.”
“You don’t think I’m angry, Logan?”
Logan spun around, facing her. He rolled his eyes as she nearly crashed into him, waiting until she regained her balance to speak. “I can’t imagine you ever blaming Duncan for anything,” he smirked. “Hell, you’ll probably blame this on me and my magic traveling sperm.” He faked a seriously concerned look. “Does the infant have a dirty mouth?”
“Shut up.”
He nodded once more. “Again, Veronica, your wit is astounding.” She smiled, and he grinned back, raising his eyebrows and awaiting her comeback. Instead, she grabbed his shirt, trying to bring his mouth down onto hers. He pulled away with a jerk, his eyes narrowing. “What the hell was that?”
She frowned, a flash of genuine confusion in her eyes. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Veronica, we’re having an argument.”
“And when has that ever stopped us from making out?”
Logan inhaled sharply as she stood on her toes, her mouth going for his again, and he quickly grabbed her shoulders, stopping her. He was drunk, not stupid. There was no way he was going to sleep with his (former) best friend’s girlfriend.
“Veronica. Don’t be an idiot,” he mumbled. Veronica stared up at him, swaying slightly and looking more than a little needy. Desperation was in her eyes for just a second, and Logan had to wonder how long had it been since she got some personal attention from Duncan. But he still wasn’t going to sleep with her.
Veronica’s lips pressed against his clumsily.
However, kissing her...that was another story. A kiss really was just a kiss, it wasn’t as bad as making your (former) best friend’s girlfriend, your ex, scream her head off until she came...Logan was definitely not going to cross that line. And he was mildly insulted that Veronica thought he would even go through with it. It was one thing to think about it- to even fantasize about it- but to actually do it? Even Lilly herself would curl her lip in disgust and call him a “evil mother fucker.”
Instead of voicing these concerns, Logan pulled away and settled on a breathless- “You’re wasted.”
“No, I’m not.” She smiled dryly. “You always talk about how good you are. Consider my interest piqued.”
Logan shook his head, sighing. “I’m not that drunk- and I’m not going to be your revenge fuck.”
“I would be yours.” He raised his eyebrows, and she rolled her eyes, fidgeting impatiently. “He hurt me, Logan.”
“I don’t care.”
“But you do.”
He knew she was right. There was that, and just a bit of him that wanted to see Duncan’s face when he figured out that his girlfriend had been fucked by his (former) best friend. Duncan had made it quite clear during the summer that all was fair in love and war, and he didn’t see why that needed to end when Duncan won the battle.
“I’m not going to be your revenge fuck,” he repeated as she wound her arms around his neck, pulling him down.
“Then don’t be,” she whispered, her lips brushing over his.
“But I am,” he said quietly, his hands drifting over her waist.
She sighed, her fingertips running over the back of his neck. “You love me, don’t you?”
“Do not.”
“I want you to be. I want to be,” she murmured, pressing her lips against his.
Drunk or not, he was going to win the war, her words set that in stone. Duncan thought he was an asshole anyway, this was no time to prove him wrong. There was also the added bonus of sleeping with Veronica, a fantasy he had managed to jerk off to, even when he didn’t want to, for months now. Drunk or not, she was ready and willing.
“One time?” He muttered as he backed her towards his bedroom.
“One time,” she repeated, smiling as his mouth fell on her neck.
Logan managed to get them both on the bed with little injury and embarrassment, slowly climbing on top of Veronica. He helped her remove her shirt, and she helped him with his, and he could’ve sworn that this all felt normal.
“Do you have a condom?”
“Of course.”
Veronica watched as he removed her shoes and her jeans, only now looking slightly worried when his mouth brushed against her stomach as he made his way up her body. She gasped as she felt his erection against her leg, realizing that this was going to happen. “Logan...”
He stopped right below her breasts as she held on to his shoulder, frowning slightly. “We’re not doing this?”
“No- yes...just-” she sighed as his hands ran over her breasts, falling back on the mattress. “Be gentle. Okay?”
He drifted up her body, leaving a soft kiss on her collarbone. “If you want me to be.”
“I do.”
“Okay.” He pinned her arms down gently, lowering himself on top of her, his tongue running between her breasts.
Veronica gasped as he slipped between her legs, his hands running over her body and his mouth on that spot right below her ear. This was happening, it was really happening, and whether it was the alcohol or pure desire, she was enjoying it. She didn’t know whether to be surprised or ashamed with that information.
Her eyes fell on his arm as he reached over to the drawer by the bed. He revealed a condom, cutting it open with his teeth. “Hey.”
Logan stopped, the blue foil still between his teeth. “What?”
“It’s just sex.”
He quickly lowered his gaze, nodding. “I know.” He handed her the foil, glancing at her briefly. “Hold on to that, I’ll be right back.”
Veronica frowned as he slid down her body, spreading her legs apart. “Logan, what-” She suddenly froze as he removed her underwear, her face flushing. This would be the first time he would be seeing her naked, and why was she the only one embarrassed? “Hey-” A moan cut off any and all thought as his tongue ran between her legs, and all she could wonder was why hadn’t Logan done this when they were together and why had he held out-
When it was all over, they had laid there, stunned, for a good ten minutes. Logan couldn’t help but be slightly cocky over the fact that he had made her come three times, and Veronica couldn’t hide the embarrassment on her face as she slid out of his bed, quickly grabbing at her clothes.
“This was your idea.” Logan said sharply, fixing his boxers as she dressed with her back to him.
“I know.” A pause as she slipped her shirt over her head. “And now I’m sobering up.”
“Did you enjoy it, at least?”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, running her hands over her unruly hair. “Yes.”
Logan nodded, a small smile coming on his face. The initial glee of finally shutting Veronica Mars up was gone as he remembered the recent encounter, and Veronica’s current similarly distant getaway. “Where did you go?” He asked quietly as she walked out of the room.
“When?” she called from the living room.
“When we were...” he trailed off, shrugging as she searched for her bag. “Did you think of me, at least?”
“No.”
He paled slightly. “So you thought about him,” he called matter-of-factly, even though he couldn’t keep the hurt from his voice.
She shook her head. “I didn’t think at all.” She threw her bag over her shoulder, not even giving him a second glance as she headed for the front door. “Thanks.”
* * * * *
Logan stepped out of the way as Veronica nearly plowed into him, rushing into the suite. He frowned, still holding the door open. “Hi.”
She didn’t say anything, pushing her hair back with both hands.
He stared at her as she visibly freaked out, realizing that this was extreme. Veronica Mars never went nuts like this, something bad must’ve happened. They had avoided each other since their drunken encounter in this very room right after winter break, and to say that it was surprising to see her here, right after graduation was putting it lightly.
However, at the moment, she was freaking out, and she had come to him. He should’ve been pleased. “What happened?”
Veronica jumped at the sound of his voice, facing him. “Huh?”
Logan’s eyes narrowed as he swung the door, not noticing when it didn’t shut completely. “Your eyes are red- what’s wrong?”
She sniffed, dropping her bag on the floor. “Duncan wants me to move in with him.”
“What?” A part of him was relieved that her answer wasn’t about some Russian mafia guys coming after, but this was still horrible news nonetheless. He would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about chasing after her again, to try and put things right. Now, this news was a downer. “What did you say?”
Her face immediately crumbled, and she covered her face with her hands. “I said yes.”
His eyes widened, and he didn’t know whether to comfort her or yell at her for being such an idiot. “Veronica! Why?”
She lowered her hands, licking her lips as she wiped at her eyes. “I-I don’t know. He started talking about us and Faith and what was right and...” She sighed shakily. “How could I say no?”
Logan shook his head, taking a step toward her. “This has to end. You have to end it.” She shook her head, and he inhaled sharply, anger growing in him. “You don’t love him, Veronica! I know you don’t!”
“I do-”
“No, you don’t. He doesn’t know you, I know you. You don’t love him.” Logan was quiet for a moment, blinking back his own panicked tears. He was stupid to think they had a chance, that this would all change. He wanted her to go away with him- anywhere, he didn’t care- and now, it was all over, all because of her damn inability to tell Duncan no. “Veronica, don’t do it. I lo-”
Veronica went straight for him, pushing him into the door and causing it to slam shut. His eyes registered surprise, then anger, for just a moment before Veronica’s mouth was on his, her hands on his shoulders as she awkwardly pulled him down. His hands moved for her waist but she shoved him away again, his back hitting the door with a bang. Fire raged in his eyes now as he reached for Veronica’s shirt. He grabbed her before she could stop him, swinging them both around and pinning her against the door.
Her arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted her up in his arms, waiting until she was safely held between the wall and his hips to yank her skirt off her hips. Their lips met clumsily as he backed off the door, stumbling for the couch.
They dropped down, and Veronica quickly climbed on his lap, her mouth on his neck as she started to undo his jeans. Logan inhaled shakily, groaning as her hands found his hardening cock. “Veronica...”
She ignored him, stroking him roughly as she forced her mouth against his. Wrong. It was wrong but it felt right and this was cheating and she wasn’t drunk but it felt too real and too good and Logan was there and she was happier with him touching her than she had been in months...
Logan’s hands moved up to her breasts, squeezing and pinching through her shirt as she balanced her weight on her knees, pushing her panties aside and sinking on top of him. He inhaled sharply as she moaned, and then she didn’t wait any longer before thrusting hard.
“Do you still love me?” She asked, her voice strained as her nails dug into his neck.
“It’s just sex,” he grunted against her lips, moving his hands down her waist roughly. She moaned, her cries muffled by his mouth, her body shaking as waves of pleasure ran through her. His hands slipped down her back, urging her on as she moved harder. “You like being fucked?” He asked breathlessly when she pressed her body against his, pushing them both against the couch.
“Yes-”
His hands drifted down, gripping and holding on to her ass as she fucked him faster, harder, and his rough hold made her cry out, her grip moving to his shoulders. “You like getting fucked by me?” he asked, the last word a groan as she rolled her hips against his.
“Yes...”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I like getting fucked by you,” she panted, shooting him a glare.
He smiled slightly at her scowl, lifting his hips just as she thrust down, biting back a moan at her sharp cry. “Who?”
“Who what?”
His mouth dipped to her ear, and he clutched her ass for emphasis, making her move harder. “Who do you like getting fucked by?” She moaned loudly, her head falling back, and he jerked her up so their eyes met. “Who...”
Veronica licked her lips, pushing off one knee and pressing her foot into the cushion. Her knee nearly dug into his ribs, and he adjusted himself accordingly. “You.”
Logan pulled her closer, her new position setting her legs wider apart. “Who?”
“God, you, Logan...”
Sharp cries escaped Veronica, loud and harsh, as her nails dug into his shoulders. He jerked her back to him, staring into her eyes. “Who?” He asked again, his breaths coming in pants now.
Veronica grabbed his face, forcing him to kiss her. He obliged, his hands wrapping around her waist as her moving became more reckless. He let out a muffled groan as he came, keeping his mouth on hers as his hand moved between her legs.
She moaned loudly, her forehead pressing against his as she moved against his hand. “Logan...” He moved his fingers faster against her clit, and she cried out as she came, her hands clutching at his hair as his mouth fell on her neck, kissing her softly. He groaned as she kept moving, slower now, and he leaned back against the couch, his hands falling to her thighs. “God...” she whispered, swallowing hard as she closed her eyes.
Logan stared at the ceiling, dazed, as Veronica nearly collapsed into his arms. Before he could stop himself, he had wrapped his arms around her in a loose hug. She didn’t pull away, so he didn’t either, running his hands over her back.
“This is such a big fucking mistake,” she mumbled. “Sorry.”
“What’s a mistake?” He breathed dreamily, leaving a small kiss on her shoulder.
“Me and Duncan. Us. This. It’s all wrong. Before, okay. Fine. But now...”
“It’s so wrong, it’s right?” He asked with a smile, lifting his head to look at her. She met his gaze, not amused, and he nodded, unwrapping himself from their embrace. “I’m leaving,” he mumbled as he pushed Veronica off him.
She slid on the couch, pulling her skirt down. This was coming out of nowhere, and it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear after an intense fucking. To be honest, she had expected a little bit more of the guilt trip game, but he was coming out of left field. First the Duncan thing, now this- change wasn’t good. “What? Where?”
He shrugged, yanking up his jeans and zipping them up. “I’m going to travel. Just me, my money, and my clothes. It’s going to be awesome.”
“But where are you going?”
Another shrug. “I don’t know.”
Veronica stared at Logan in disbelief, unable to stop the feeling of betrayal from coursing through her. He was leaving, and without her. “When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you going to do when you run out of money?”
“Not sure.”
She shook her head, a laugh escaping her. “So, you have no plan whatsoever.”
Logan adjusted his shirt before leaning back on the couch. “I plan on being a gypsy. I’ll wander lands of the unknown or some crap, and I’ll have a shitload of fun.”
“What about me?” She asked quietly, a sudden feeling of despair filling her.
“What about you?” He glanced at her, a flash of hope in his eyes. “Want to come?” he asked quietly, resisting the urge to tell her that he had already bought her ticket, that he was ready for them to leave right then and there.
She shook her head slowly, chewing on her bottom lip. “I can’t.” She shrugged, running her hands over her knees anxiously. “Duncan...Faith...”
He nodded, jumping to his feet before the sharp pain of her rejection could truly hit. “Well, enjoy yourself. I know I will.”
Veronica watched as he headed for his bedroom, never feeling more lost and confused than she did right then and there. “Logan-”
“Are you going to come with me, yes or no?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Enjoy your life,” he snapped before slamming the door behind him.
* * * * *
Logan laughed as Veronica’s underwear-clad form slid down his body, glancing at the ceiling. “Dude, I have to be out of Neptune in two hours.”
She smiled slowly, unbuttoning his jeans. “You have to be tense with all the non-planning you’re doing. It’ll take some of the edge off, I promise,” she said, her fingertips brushing over his zipper.
“Do you even know how to do this?”
A smirk. “I’m willing to learn.” She pulled down his boxers the best she could, taking his cock in her hand. She started to stroke him slowly, her eyes meeting his. “What are you complaining about- this is an awesome going-away present.”
“You know, you can just come with me, and we can do this every day.” She was silent, and he sighed. “Why don’t you just break up with him, Veronica? We’ll get back together.”
“I have to make sure Faith is okay,” she mumbled. “I promised Meg. Duncan’s still on his meds-”
“Excuses. You’re just scared-” Logan groaned as Veronica ran her tongue over the tip of his cock, his hips jerking up involuntarily. “Veronica, you don’t have to do this...”
“I want to.” She said quietly, squeezing him hard and enjoying the sharp intake of breath that came from above. “I want to make you feel good, since I’m such a terrible person.”
Logan swallowed hard as she lowered her mouth on his cock slowly. “God- you’re not a terrible person.” She hummed something and he groaned, his fingers digging into her shoulder. “You’re just confused...” She hummed in response as her mouth moved up, then down, and he moaned again. The sound seemed to excite Veronica, and her grip tightened on his cock. “You’re just scared...”
Veronica removed her mouth from his cock, biting back a smile at his groan of disappointment. “Was I doing good?” She said quietly, choosing to ignore the previous conversation.
“Yeah,” he muttered as he grabbed her shoulders, yanking her up. He slid off the couch, lowering them both onto the carpet. “Do it often?”
She sighed, peeling off his shirt and tossing it to the side. “No, I’ve never done it with Duncan.”
He kissed her neck slowly, inching his body closer to hers. “Why not?”
“Stop talking about Duncan, Logan.”
“Ah, just mastered the missionary, huh?” Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she smiled as he undid her bra without looking. “What does he say when you come in there with all these new moves?” he asked as he tossed her bra over his shoulder.
“I don’t really show him...I know how possessive you are, so shut up,” she gasped as he ran his tongue along her lips, his hands running down between her thighs. “Fuck me, Logan,” she whispered in his ear as he slid on top of her. “Please.”
“You’re fucking insane,” he murmured, pulling her panties off her hips and tossing them to the side.
She smiled slowly, closing her eyes as he wrapped her legs around his hips. “What does that make you?”
“Fucking insane,” he said with a slight grin as Veronica laughed. The laughter faded as he slid inside her. Her back arched as her face contorted in pleasure, and he thought it was the most beautiful sight.
When it was over and they were both exhausted, Veronica laid on top of Logan, running her fingers over his slightly sweaty chest. A certain sadness filled her at the idea of this being the last time they would be together ever. She knew it had to end, and a part of her was glad that it was over, but she still felt as if she were losing something big.
He was leaving for a life of uncertainty, and she knew it was a foolish, immature thing to do, but a part of her wanted to join him, wanted to experience it. He was going to be absolutely free, and she couldn’t help but be jealous.
“Stay,” she said quietly.
He sighed, leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head. “I’m a fucking gypsy. I have to travel. It would be in my blood if I was Romanian.”
She lifted her head, staring at him. “Can I still come with you?”
“I would love it if you did.” He paused. “You won’t. But you should.”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, lowering her head back on his chest. “Do you still love me?” she whispered.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “Do you love me?”
She frowned, gently pulling him into a loose hug. “I think I could.”
“Ouch.”
“No, that’s a good thing.” She blinked back the tears in her eyes, holding him tighter. “It’s a very good thing.”
* * * * *
Duncan and Veronica moved in together right after graduation, not long after Logan left for wherever he was going. A beautiful three-bedroom condo, right in the middle of downtown Neptune. Her father had voiced some initial disapproval, before helping them with the move, and Veronica had to keep from loudly agreeing with him and running away.
The master bedroom was all white, and Faith’s bedroom was all pink. Another small bedroom was Veronica’s workspace, and Duncan turned it into a darkroom for her photography, which actually pleased her to no end.
Everything went well until the first postcard came from New Zealand, three months after the move, addressed to “the Kanes and Veronica Mars.”
Veronica cried hysterically in their new bathroom, clutching the postcard tightly in her hand. She felt stupid, so stupid, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t help but feel he was doing this on purpose, to let her know what she was missing.
She got the message, loud and clear, and the postcards kept coming, a month apart.
Duncan and Veronica got engaged a year after the move, not long after another one of Logan’s postcards arrived. Veronica threw up in their bathroom after saying yes. She felt her heart tearing in two but all logic told her this was a natural progression. It made the most sense out of everything in her life.
Logan found out about the engagement by way of voicemail. Veronica’s voice was quiet and emotionless as she delivered the news, and she had hung up when he began screaming at her. Several ignored calls later, and Logan had flung his phone into the ocean.
* * * * *
Logan started writing about a month after Veronica effectively “broke up” with him. It was something that came out, surprisingly, after he had drunk way too much at some bar in Amsterdam. He wrote because his mother loved to read, and he wanted to give her something to cherish.
Then, he remembered his mother was wrinkled and bloated and eaten away and dead somewhere, so he drank some more.
The story was fiction based on fact. A man in love with a woman he could never have, so he traveled, leaving her cryptic messages along the way. Halfway through the book, the woman met the protagonist in various locations to continue their affair.
Always the showman, Logan called it Hopeless.
He kept writing, abandoning liquor for the words, and continued in coffeehouses and planes and trains and hotel rooms. He had over five notebooks of story, and guarded them more than he did his own passport.
“What are you writing?”
Logan froze, glancing up at the sound of the voice. He blinked, trying to remember where he was before spotting a sign in Spanish near the front door. Argentina. He was still in Argentina. “What?”
The tall blonde grinned at him, tilting her head to the side. “You’ve been writing since you got here- it better be good.”
He stared at her, wondering where he recognized her from. “Uh...” He glanced down at his notebook, tapping his pen on the page. “Just a story.”
“I know you.” She said quickly, sliding into the seat across from him. She glanced at her lap before resting her forearms on the table, leaning in. “You went to Neptune High.” He stared at her blankly, and her smile grew. “I was on the Pep Squad, and you were one of the popular, hot seniors that all the undergrads drooled over.”
Logan smiled slightly. She was pretty enough- leggy, kind eyes, and a sweet voice. “Ah, but you don’t know my name. I must’ve not been that drool-worthy.”
“Casey Gant.” He rolled his eyes, and she waved him off, pretending to think. “Dick Casablancas.” He cringed, and she bit her bottom lip, a smile shining through. “Sean...Marcos?” He shook his head slowly, and she snapped her fingers. “Gosh, now I remember! You’re Logan Echolls, son of two movie stars! How could I forget that? My mind is failing me....”
His grin grew, and he leaned forward, gazing at her. “I don’t know who you are.”
“You wouldn’t. But you will.” She stood up, giving him a small wave. “See you later.”
He started to get up. “Where are you going?”
“I have to meet up with my cousins.” She called, waving over her shoulder as she headed for the door.
“What’s your name?” He yelled.
She waited until she was at the door to give him a brilliantly bright smile. “Hannah.”
Logan watched her as the door closed, and continued to follow her as she walked by the large windows, smiling shyly. He grinned back, giving her a small wave before turning his attention to his fiction. He tried to return his attention back to the task at hand, but couldn’t help but be elated over her pure smile.
* * * * *
Veronica dashed across the hallway, trying to stop a wobbly Faith from reaching the front door as the doorbell rang again. She pulled the child back, setting her in her door swing, and Faith immediately began to bawl her displeasure.
Veronica closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself down. This was not the worst of it, she tried to tell herself. The kid was just teething and had a bad cold and she missed her daddy and that was all. This wasn’t bad.
The doorbell rang again, and she jumped. With a shake of her head, Veronica thrust a frozen teething ring out at Faith, and the girl happily took it, shoving the ring into her mouth. Veronica rolled her eyes, straightening up and walking to the door. She opened it with a sigh. “Can I help-”
Logan smiled at Veronica, giving her the tiniest of waves. “Hi.”
She froze at the sight of him, suddenly feeling self-conscious in her dingy shorts and worn hoodie. Her hand immediately flew to her hair, trying to calm it as she observed Logan. He was tan and looking well-rested, with just a hint of stubble on his face.
He raised his eyebrows at her less-than-welcoming stance. “No hug?”
She let out a sharp breath, anger filling her. She wondered who the hell he thought he was- a year after not even calling, and here he was, back in her life. No letters, no calls, no nothing, and yet he was here, in front of her, acting like nothing happened. Acting like he didn’t know she had worried for almost half a year about him after their last conversation.
“Enjoyed your trip?” She asked harshly.
“Yeah. It was just wonderful.”
“Good. What are you doing here?” She questioned sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What- I can’t come see my best friend in the whole wide world and his lady love?” He shot her a glare as he moved inside the condo. “Congratulate them on their engagement?”
Veronica closed her eyes painfully, slamming the door shut. “Logan, you can’t be here. Duncan’s going to be home soon.”
Logan frowned, looking around and poking his head into the living room. “This is pretty cheap for DK...”
“We’re moving into the estate after the wedding,” she mumbled miserably. “It’s still being renovated- get out.”
He raised his eyebrows, spinning to face her. “The estate? Really? Lifestyles of the rich and famous...” His eyes lit up as he spotted Faith in her swing, chewing on her teething ring. “Hey, is this the little mistake that could?”
“Don’t call her that.” Veronica snapped. “Her name is Faith.”
“Ah. She sounds like a Bible-Thumper. How appropriate. Meg would’ve been proud. How old is she? Does she talk?”
“One.” Veronica sighed. “She says hi, bye, daddy, dada, milk, and juice. It sounds like jew, though.”
Logan bent over, scooping up the child in his arms. Faith stared up at him, and he grinned. “What’s up, little one?”
Veronica frowned as Logan walked around aimlessly with Faith, bouncing her slightly. “What are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to say hi.” He made a face at Faith, and grinned when she laughed. “See, maybe I didn’t get the sucky parenting genes from my dad after all.”
Veronica rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall. “You have to leave. Now. Give it to me.”
Logan frowned, glancing at her. “It?”
“Her.” Veronica corrected herself quickly, holding her arms out. “Give her to me.” A smirk played on Logan’s face as he handed Faith over, and the child immediately embraced Veronica.
Logan’s eyes narrowed as Veronica nearly flinched at the contact before rubbing the girl’s back awkwardly. “Great parenting skills, Veronica.”
“Get out.”
He leaned over, going for Veronica’s cheek. At the last possible moment, he moved his mouth against hers, letting his lips linger on hers before pulling away. His eyes fell on her diamond earrings, and the smile grew. “You’ll be a Stepford Wife yet, Veronica Mars.”
Veronica didn’t look at him, focusing on the baby in her arms. “Say bye to Uncle Logan, Faith.”
Faith didn't look at Logan, busying herself with Veronica's necklace. Veronica struggled not to look annoyed, staring straight ahead. “Bye!”
Logan grinned brightly at the child, waving at her. “Bye, sweetie!” His smile faded completely as he stared at Veronica, swinging the door open. “Bye.”
Veronica jumped as the door slammed behind him.
* * * * *
Logan began hanging out at the condo, having drinks with Duncan and bonding with Faith. Duncan was pleased, having his (former) best friend back into his life. He never let him be alone with Veronica, though. That’s where Faith came in. Even at one years old, she was his little partner in crime.
Veronica almost always found a reason to leave the condo when Logan came over, and neither man ever questioned her. Whenever she couldn’t find a reason to escape, she stayed quiet as Duncan and Logan bonded, or at least pretended to. She caught Logan staring at her a couple of times when Duncan wasn’t paying attention, and she tried to stop her body from heating up at the feel of his intense gaze.
Duncan told Faith to call Veronica “mommy.” He thought it sounded right. Veronica was, after all, the only mother the baby knew. Veronica blushed the first time Faith said it, she was so embarrassed. Or horrified, Duncan wasn’t quite sure.
When Faith called Veronica “mommy” in front of Logan, he just looked sick.
* * * * *
Logan was arrested for a DUI a week after his return, and his one phone call was to Veronica.
After bailing him out, she drove him back to his still-temporary home at the Neptune Grand. She screamed at him for being an idiot, for not growing up. She didn’t understand how he had expected them to be together if he didn’t grow up. She needed him to be an adult.
He laughed, so she ripped into him some more.
He rewarded her spunk by fucking her hard against the door of his suite. She let herself come twice, then showered under hot water.
And so ended the end of their affair.
Next part, 1b
Author: Me
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20125 total (I couldn't fit it all in one post), this section: 7269
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Logan/Veronica, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Hannah
Note: Future-fic. Also? Seriously AU after “One Angry Veronica.” Like, this is some AU-ing shit. Ruined lives and bloodshed AU. Fucked up AU. Example? Duncan didn’t leave Neptune, and he and Veronica stayed together. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t judge.
2. The format of the fic is weird, I didn’t really set a time period for each segment. Hopefully, it’s clear when each part occurred, but for the most part, it’s just supposed to be a jumble of events in a five-year span.
3. Special thanks goes to my beta solflower22. I loves you!
Written for the loveathons “Lessons Learned” challenge.
Summary: The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. -- John Powell
The wedding had come and gone without incident. His mother didn’t object like she had threatened, and Veronica showed up like she had promised. The vows were quick and to the point, and they kept their first kiss as man and wife neat and chaste. They walked down the aisle together with Faith- his daughter, their daughter- between them, as one big, happy family. The reception was held in the Neptune Grand ballroom, with four hundred of the Kanes’ closest family and friends (the irony made Veronica smirk, and Duncan was quick to warn her to behave).
Twenty-three years old, happy, and in love. The perfect wedding.
Veronica didn’t want to wear a traditional wedding dress, so they had compromised on a long, white sundress. Of course, Celeste flipped out, but that was why Veronica was the bride. Her hair was long and straight, diamonds decorating her ears, neck, and wrists. Her make-up was simple, although he didn’t understand why she used that eyeshadow to make her eyes smoky. All it did was make her look intimidating.
There was no shoving of cake in each other’s faces. Veronica fed Duncan and Duncan fed Veronica and then they fed Faith. It was all sweet and tender and perfect and there were many pictures taken. They posed and smiled and laughed and he chose not to notice that Veronica’s smile had almost vanished by the third round of pictures.
Keith had shaken Duncan’s hand, but Duncan was too worried by Veronica’s almost detached attitude towards the whole thing. He had caught her staring longingly at a picture of the Eiffel Tower that hung in the lobby of Kane Software the day before. When he questioned her, she had blinked and smiled in that absent way of hers that was quickly becoming a permanent expression.
All of their friends were there, it was just like old times- all the 09ers and their families hanging out, and he had married his first love. Just like the way it should be.
Almost. Logan wasn’t his best man, as he should’ve been. In fact, Logan didn’t even come to the wedding.
He did his best to ignore the murmurs over his (former) best friend’s absence, all the rumors and the lies and the half-truths and the total truths. If he had paid attention to all that absurdity, he and Veronica never would’ve gotten to the altar.
Jake sighed, nudging Duncan with his shoulder. “So, where’s the new Mrs. Kane? The guests are waiting.”
“She’ll be here.” Duncan frowned, worried.
Veronica had disappeared from the party over thirty minutes ago, claiming she needed to get some air, and there was still no sign of her. His father wanted to take pictures of the wedding party by the lovebirds ice sculpture, and they were all waiting for the blushing bride. He started to wonder if she was all right, if she had ripped her dress, if something had happened-
“Sorry! I’m here!”
Duncan smiled, turning to face Veronica as she rushed over to the group. The grin faded as he spotted her looking unusually frazzled, her smile strained and her eyes holding a distinct anxiety. His eyes narrowed as he spotted her swollen lips, her faintly smudged lipstick. Her hair was wilder than it was a half hour ago, and her face was flushed.
“Veronica...”
She gave Duncan a tight smile, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. “Sorry. I just got flustered.”
Duncan stared at her hard, slowly putting two and two together. Not wanting to put two and two together. Hoping it all didn’t add up. Hoping that the lies and the half-truths and the complete truths were all just words with nothing behind them. He wanted to believe that it was over.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
The first time was brought about by alcohol and a need for revenge by both parties.
Logan sighed, closing the suite door with a satisfying slam. The removal of the security ankle bracelet was a reason to party, and he sure did. Almost a dozen drinks, and a shot of tequila had proven to be his downfall. At least he out-drank Dick. Logan shook his head, blinking rapidly to rid himself of the spots in front of his eyes. “Easy, now...”
“Talking to yourself?”
He froze, leaning against the door. He knew that slightly slurred voice anywhere, and he wasn’t sure if she was really in the room or if his pesky inner voice was playing a trick on him. He really needed to stop watching Rescue Me. “Veronica?”
“Logan Echolls.”
With a frown, he pushed off the door, glancing over the couch. There was Veronica Mars’s little blonde head poking out from behind the arm of the couch. “Veronica...” He stumbled around, stopping when he spotted her sitting on the floor, knees gathered up to her chest. Tiny liquor bottles decorated the floor, and she had begun putting them in long, alphabetical rows. “Veronica. What...are you digging through the mini-bar?”
She didn’t look up at him, primly setting a white and red bottle next to the mini-Heineken. “Maybe.”
“Well, nice to know you’ve taken up a hobby to deal with the sexual frustration...”
“Yeah, I’m trying your method of getting drunk and stupid.” she managed, holding up a small black bottle of vodka.
“Careful, Veronica, you’re looking a bit like your mother there.”
A small, bitter smile. “Coming from the son of a murderer, I think I better hide the ashtrays before you get really angry.”
Veronica- 1, Logan- 0.
He made a mental note not to drink when he was to spar with Veronica before flopping down on the couch. He licked his lips slowly as he tilted to the side to get a better look at what she was doing. “What’s going on?”
“I’m waiting for Duncan.”
“He’s at the hospital.”
Veronica nodded, his shoulders drooping slightly as she carefully opened up a small bottle of coconut rum. “He hid it from me,” she murmured, downing the bottle’s contents before making a horribly disgusted face.
Logan frowned, already knowing where this was going. No, Duncan hadn’t told him shit, but word got around quickly at school, and it didn’t take an idiot to realize that all eyes were on Neptune High’s golden couple, waiting eagerly for the explosion. “Hid what?”
Veronica was quiet for a moment, trying not to think about Meg’s swollen belly, the idea of her and Duncan having that bond forever, even in death. She tried not to think of what possible reason Duncan could’ve had for hiding it from her. All she knew was that this wasn’t over- the Kane’s lawyers were probably making phone calls at that very minute.
“Meg was pregnant.”
“And now Meg’s dead,” he said with a sigh.
“Logan.”
Logan shook his head, holding out his hand and wiggling his fingers at her. She slammed a small raspberry wine cooler against his palm. “Meg’s dead, baby. Meg’s dead.”
She spun around to glare at him, fire in her eyes. “Can you stop quoting crappy movies for just two seconds? Meg’s dead.”
He met her glare, unwilling to back down. Death was the natural end of things. Lilly, his mother, Felix, and now poor, sweet Meg. The dead got off scot free while the living continued to suffer- he had no pity for them. “Hey, Pulp Fiction is a classic-”
“I promised Meg I would take care of the baby.”
He frowned, watching as she climbed awkwardly to her feet, knocking over empty liquor bottles in the process. She used the arm of the couch for support, leaning against the couch for a moment before straightening up, and he did the same, throwing his feet on the coffee table. “What kind of promise?”
She sighed. “I wouldn’t let her parents get to Faith.”
Logan raised his eyebrows as he twirled the mini bottle of wine over his fingers. “As opposed to the father who has violent fits?”
Veronica wagged a finger at him, shuffling around the couch and dropping next to him. “I thought about that. Luckily, Duncan still takes his meds.”
“For now.” Logan grinned slightly, silently noting the dark humor of it all. “What if he gets frazzled and forgets and the damn kid just won’t shut up- this kid is going to have one sucky life.”
“Logan-” she cut herself off, thinking about what he was saying. Damn logic. “Crap.”
“Uh huh.”
Veronica frowned, wondering where this was all going to go. Duncan had to be reminded to take his meds, he hated them. Yes, he was more fun without them, but unless the world wanted a raging jock on their hands... “Dammit,” she whispered, realizing just how much of a possibility it was for Duncan to forget his meds now. She straightened up, trying to give off an air of confidence. “Well. He has me here, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Logan sighed, glancing at the ceiling. There she went with that future talk, that “forever and ever” love bullshit, all things she couldn’t give to him but gave willingly to Duncan, and God, he needed a drink. “Until you get tired of it.” She turned, glaring at him, and he laughed. “Come on, Veronica- can you really see yourself playing mommy?”
“I wouldn’t-”
“You would,” he intoned, opening up the bottle of liquor. “You will become this little shit’s mommy, ‘cause that’s what DK wants, whether you like it or not.”
She suddenly sat up in her seat, staring at Logan. “Did you know he told me,” she paused, swallowing hard. “That this kid had nothing to do with me and him?” Logan laughed, and she nodded. “Exactly.”
“That’s our Duncan, the oblivious bastard.” Logan mumbled, downing the wine cooler. “He’s a keeper.”
“He is,” Veronica said sharply.
Logan snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “If you say so, Helen Keller.”
Veronica frowned, unsure of how to respond to his latest burn, and just a bit thrown off that he had called her deaf, dumb, and blind by way of historic figure. “Shut up.”
He nodded. “Good one.”
“Duncan loves me-”
“So much so that he hid his illegitimate child from you, his doting, ever-loyal girlfriend.” Logan cut her off tersely. She laughed in that mocking way of hers and he found himself growing more angry. He sat up, determined to respond before she could pull the jealousy card on him. “I’m drunk, but I’m not stupid. If I would’ve pulled that, you would’ve dumped me so fast...he must have a way with his tongue or something.”
She stared at him, a small smile playing on her lips. Logan was angry, he was actually pissed off. “Logan, are you jeal-”
“You’re a fucking doormat,” he snapped, climbing to his feet and walking away from her.
Veronica scowled, pushing herself off the couch and following him. “I am upset, for your information. He hid this from me and I’m pissed.”
He smiled bitterly, throwing the empty bottle on the ground. “I’ve learned that deception is a big part of the Kane family. You’ll see.”
“You don’t think I’m angry, Logan?”
Logan spun around, facing her. He rolled his eyes as she nearly crashed into him, waiting until she regained her balance to speak. “I can’t imagine you ever blaming Duncan for anything,” he smirked. “Hell, you’ll probably blame this on me and my magic traveling sperm.” He faked a seriously concerned look. “Does the infant have a dirty mouth?”
“Shut up.”
He nodded once more. “Again, Veronica, your wit is astounding.” She smiled, and he grinned back, raising his eyebrows and awaiting her comeback. Instead, she grabbed his shirt, trying to bring his mouth down onto hers. He pulled away with a jerk, his eyes narrowing. “What the hell was that?”
She frowned, a flash of genuine confusion in her eyes. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Veronica, we’re having an argument.”
“And when has that ever stopped us from making out?”
Logan inhaled sharply as she stood on her toes, her mouth going for his again, and he quickly grabbed her shoulders, stopping her. He was drunk, not stupid. There was no way he was going to sleep with his (former) best friend’s girlfriend.
“Veronica. Don’t be an idiot,” he mumbled. Veronica stared up at him, swaying slightly and looking more than a little needy. Desperation was in her eyes for just a second, and Logan had to wonder how long had it been since she got some personal attention from Duncan. But he still wasn’t going to sleep with her.
Veronica’s lips pressed against his clumsily.
However, kissing her...that was another story. A kiss really was just a kiss, it wasn’t as bad as making your (former) best friend’s girlfriend, your ex, scream her head off until she came...Logan was definitely not going to cross that line. And he was mildly insulted that Veronica thought he would even go through with it. It was one thing to think about it- to even fantasize about it- but to actually do it? Even Lilly herself would curl her lip in disgust and call him a “evil mother fucker.”
Instead of voicing these concerns, Logan pulled away and settled on a breathless- “You’re wasted.”
“No, I’m not.” She smiled dryly. “You always talk about how good you are. Consider my interest piqued.”
Logan shook his head, sighing. “I’m not that drunk- and I’m not going to be your revenge fuck.”
“I would be yours.” He raised his eyebrows, and she rolled her eyes, fidgeting impatiently. “He hurt me, Logan.”
“I don’t care.”
“But you do.”
He knew she was right. There was that, and just a bit of him that wanted to see Duncan’s face when he figured out that his girlfriend had been fucked by his (former) best friend. Duncan had made it quite clear during the summer that all was fair in love and war, and he didn’t see why that needed to end when Duncan won the battle.
“I’m not going to be your revenge fuck,” he repeated as she wound her arms around his neck, pulling him down.
“Then don’t be,” she whispered, her lips brushing over his.
“But I am,” he said quietly, his hands drifting over her waist.
She sighed, her fingertips running over the back of his neck. “You love me, don’t you?”
“Do not.”
“I want you to be. I want to be,” she murmured, pressing her lips against his.
Drunk or not, he was going to win the war, her words set that in stone. Duncan thought he was an asshole anyway, this was no time to prove him wrong. There was also the added bonus of sleeping with Veronica, a fantasy he had managed to jerk off to, even when he didn’t want to, for months now. Drunk or not, she was ready and willing.
“One time?” He muttered as he backed her towards his bedroom.
“One time,” she repeated, smiling as his mouth fell on her neck.
Logan managed to get them both on the bed with little injury and embarrassment, slowly climbing on top of Veronica. He helped her remove her shirt, and she helped him with his, and he could’ve sworn that this all felt normal.
“Do you have a condom?”
“Of course.”
Veronica watched as he removed her shoes and her jeans, only now looking slightly worried when his mouth brushed against her stomach as he made his way up her body. She gasped as she felt his erection against her leg, realizing that this was going to happen. “Logan...”
He stopped right below her breasts as she held on to his shoulder, frowning slightly. “We’re not doing this?”
“No- yes...just-” she sighed as his hands ran over her breasts, falling back on the mattress. “Be gentle. Okay?”
He drifted up her body, leaving a soft kiss on her collarbone. “If you want me to be.”
“I do.”
“Okay.” He pinned her arms down gently, lowering himself on top of her, his tongue running between her breasts.
Veronica gasped as he slipped between her legs, his hands running over her body and his mouth on that spot right below her ear. This was happening, it was really happening, and whether it was the alcohol or pure desire, she was enjoying it. She didn’t know whether to be surprised or ashamed with that information.
Her eyes fell on his arm as he reached over to the drawer by the bed. He revealed a condom, cutting it open with his teeth. “Hey.”
Logan stopped, the blue foil still between his teeth. “What?”
“It’s just sex.”
He quickly lowered his gaze, nodding. “I know.” He handed her the foil, glancing at her briefly. “Hold on to that, I’ll be right back.”
Veronica frowned as he slid down her body, spreading her legs apart. “Logan, what-” She suddenly froze as he removed her underwear, her face flushing. This would be the first time he would be seeing her naked, and why was she the only one embarrassed? “Hey-” A moan cut off any and all thought as his tongue ran between her legs, and all she could wonder was why hadn’t Logan done this when they were together and why had he held out-
When it was all over, they had laid there, stunned, for a good ten minutes. Logan couldn’t help but be slightly cocky over the fact that he had made her come three times, and Veronica couldn’t hide the embarrassment on her face as she slid out of his bed, quickly grabbing at her clothes.
“This was your idea.” Logan said sharply, fixing his boxers as she dressed with her back to him.
“I know.” A pause as she slipped her shirt over her head. “And now I’m sobering up.”
“Did you enjoy it, at least?”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, running her hands over her unruly hair. “Yes.”
Logan nodded, a small smile coming on his face. The initial glee of finally shutting Veronica Mars up was gone as he remembered the recent encounter, and Veronica’s current similarly distant getaway. “Where did you go?” He asked quietly as she walked out of the room.
“When?” she called from the living room.
“When we were...” he trailed off, shrugging as she searched for her bag. “Did you think of me, at least?”
“No.”
He paled slightly. “So you thought about him,” he called matter-of-factly, even though he couldn’t keep the hurt from his voice.
She shook her head. “I didn’t think at all.” She threw her bag over her shoulder, not even giving him a second glance as she headed for the front door. “Thanks.”
* * * * *
Logan stepped out of the way as Veronica nearly plowed into him, rushing into the suite. He frowned, still holding the door open. “Hi.”
She didn’t say anything, pushing her hair back with both hands.
He stared at her as she visibly freaked out, realizing that this was extreme. Veronica Mars never went nuts like this, something bad must’ve happened. They had avoided each other since their drunken encounter in this very room right after winter break, and to say that it was surprising to see her here, right after graduation was putting it lightly.
However, at the moment, she was freaking out, and she had come to him. He should’ve been pleased. “What happened?”
Veronica jumped at the sound of his voice, facing him. “Huh?”
Logan’s eyes narrowed as he swung the door, not noticing when it didn’t shut completely. “Your eyes are red- what’s wrong?”
She sniffed, dropping her bag on the floor. “Duncan wants me to move in with him.”
“What?” A part of him was relieved that her answer wasn’t about some Russian mafia guys coming after, but this was still horrible news nonetheless. He would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about chasing after her again, to try and put things right. Now, this news was a downer. “What did you say?”
Her face immediately crumbled, and she covered her face with her hands. “I said yes.”
His eyes widened, and he didn’t know whether to comfort her or yell at her for being such an idiot. “Veronica! Why?”
She lowered her hands, licking her lips as she wiped at her eyes. “I-I don’t know. He started talking about us and Faith and what was right and...” She sighed shakily. “How could I say no?”
Logan shook his head, taking a step toward her. “This has to end. You have to end it.” She shook her head, and he inhaled sharply, anger growing in him. “You don’t love him, Veronica! I know you don’t!”
“I do-”
“No, you don’t. He doesn’t know you, I know you. You don’t love him.” Logan was quiet for a moment, blinking back his own panicked tears. He was stupid to think they had a chance, that this would all change. He wanted her to go away with him- anywhere, he didn’t care- and now, it was all over, all because of her damn inability to tell Duncan no. “Veronica, don’t do it. I lo-”
Veronica went straight for him, pushing him into the door and causing it to slam shut. His eyes registered surprise, then anger, for just a moment before Veronica’s mouth was on his, her hands on his shoulders as she awkwardly pulled him down. His hands moved for her waist but she shoved him away again, his back hitting the door with a bang. Fire raged in his eyes now as he reached for Veronica’s shirt. He grabbed her before she could stop him, swinging them both around and pinning her against the door.
Her arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted her up in his arms, waiting until she was safely held between the wall and his hips to yank her skirt off her hips. Their lips met clumsily as he backed off the door, stumbling for the couch.
They dropped down, and Veronica quickly climbed on his lap, her mouth on his neck as she started to undo his jeans. Logan inhaled shakily, groaning as her hands found his hardening cock. “Veronica...”
She ignored him, stroking him roughly as she forced her mouth against his. Wrong. It was wrong but it felt right and this was cheating and she wasn’t drunk but it felt too real and too good and Logan was there and she was happier with him touching her than she had been in months...
Logan’s hands moved up to her breasts, squeezing and pinching through her shirt as she balanced her weight on her knees, pushing her panties aside and sinking on top of him. He inhaled sharply as she moaned, and then she didn’t wait any longer before thrusting hard.
“Do you still love me?” She asked, her voice strained as her nails dug into his neck.
“It’s just sex,” he grunted against her lips, moving his hands down her waist roughly. She moaned, her cries muffled by his mouth, her body shaking as waves of pleasure ran through her. His hands slipped down her back, urging her on as she moved harder. “You like being fucked?” He asked breathlessly when she pressed her body against his, pushing them both against the couch.
“Yes-”
His hands drifted down, gripping and holding on to her ass as she fucked him faster, harder, and his rough hold made her cry out, her grip moving to his shoulders. “You like getting fucked by me?” he asked, the last word a groan as she rolled her hips against his.
“Yes...”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I like getting fucked by you,” she panted, shooting him a glare.
He smiled slightly at her scowl, lifting his hips just as she thrust down, biting back a moan at her sharp cry. “Who?”
“Who what?”
His mouth dipped to her ear, and he clutched her ass for emphasis, making her move harder. “Who do you like getting fucked by?” She moaned loudly, her head falling back, and he jerked her up so their eyes met. “Who...”
Veronica licked her lips, pushing off one knee and pressing her foot into the cushion. Her knee nearly dug into his ribs, and he adjusted himself accordingly. “You.”
Logan pulled her closer, her new position setting her legs wider apart. “Who?”
“God, you, Logan...”
Sharp cries escaped Veronica, loud and harsh, as her nails dug into his shoulders. He jerked her back to him, staring into her eyes. “Who?” He asked again, his breaths coming in pants now.
Veronica grabbed his face, forcing him to kiss her. He obliged, his hands wrapping around her waist as her moving became more reckless. He let out a muffled groan as he came, keeping his mouth on hers as his hand moved between her legs.
She moaned loudly, her forehead pressing against his as she moved against his hand. “Logan...” He moved his fingers faster against her clit, and she cried out as she came, her hands clutching at his hair as his mouth fell on her neck, kissing her softly. He groaned as she kept moving, slower now, and he leaned back against the couch, his hands falling to her thighs. “God...” she whispered, swallowing hard as she closed her eyes.
Logan stared at the ceiling, dazed, as Veronica nearly collapsed into his arms. Before he could stop himself, he had wrapped his arms around her in a loose hug. She didn’t pull away, so he didn’t either, running his hands over her back.
“This is such a big fucking mistake,” she mumbled. “Sorry.”
“What’s a mistake?” He breathed dreamily, leaving a small kiss on her shoulder.
“Me and Duncan. Us. This. It’s all wrong. Before, okay. Fine. But now...”
“It’s so wrong, it’s right?” He asked with a smile, lifting his head to look at her. She met his gaze, not amused, and he nodded, unwrapping himself from their embrace. “I’m leaving,” he mumbled as he pushed Veronica off him.
She slid on the couch, pulling her skirt down. This was coming out of nowhere, and it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear after an intense fucking. To be honest, she had expected a little bit more of the guilt trip game, but he was coming out of left field. First the Duncan thing, now this- change wasn’t good. “What? Where?”
He shrugged, yanking up his jeans and zipping them up. “I’m going to travel. Just me, my money, and my clothes. It’s going to be awesome.”
“But where are you going?”
Another shrug. “I don’t know.”
Veronica stared at Logan in disbelief, unable to stop the feeling of betrayal from coursing through her. He was leaving, and without her. “When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you going to do when you run out of money?”
“Not sure.”
She shook her head, a laugh escaping her. “So, you have no plan whatsoever.”
Logan adjusted his shirt before leaning back on the couch. “I plan on being a gypsy. I’ll wander lands of the unknown or some crap, and I’ll have a shitload of fun.”
“What about me?” She asked quietly, a sudden feeling of despair filling her.
“What about you?” He glanced at her, a flash of hope in his eyes. “Want to come?” he asked quietly, resisting the urge to tell her that he had already bought her ticket, that he was ready for them to leave right then and there.
She shook her head slowly, chewing on her bottom lip. “I can’t.” She shrugged, running her hands over her knees anxiously. “Duncan...Faith...”
He nodded, jumping to his feet before the sharp pain of her rejection could truly hit. “Well, enjoy yourself. I know I will.”
Veronica watched as he headed for his bedroom, never feeling more lost and confused than she did right then and there. “Logan-”
“Are you going to come with me, yes or no?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Enjoy your life,” he snapped before slamming the door behind him.
* * * * *
Logan laughed as Veronica’s underwear-clad form slid down his body, glancing at the ceiling. “Dude, I have to be out of Neptune in two hours.”
She smiled slowly, unbuttoning his jeans. “You have to be tense with all the non-planning you’re doing. It’ll take some of the edge off, I promise,” she said, her fingertips brushing over his zipper.
“Do you even know how to do this?”
A smirk. “I’m willing to learn.” She pulled down his boxers the best she could, taking his cock in her hand. She started to stroke him slowly, her eyes meeting his. “What are you complaining about- this is an awesome going-away present.”
“You know, you can just come with me, and we can do this every day.” She was silent, and he sighed. “Why don’t you just break up with him, Veronica? We’ll get back together.”
“I have to make sure Faith is okay,” she mumbled. “I promised Meg. Duncan’s still on his meds-”
“Excuses. You’re just scared-” Logan groaned as Veronica ran her tongue over the tip of his cock, his hips jerking up involuntarily. “Veronica, you don’t have to do this...”
“I want to.” She said quietly, squeezing him hard and enjoying the sharp intake of breath that came from above. “I want to make you feel good, since I’m such a terrible person.”
Logan swallowed hard as she lowered her mouth on his cock slowly. “God- you’re not a terrible person.” She hummed something and he groaned, his fingers digging into her shoulder. “You’re just confused...” She hummed in response as her mouth moved up, then down, and he moaned again. The sound seemed to excite Veronica, and her grip tightened on his cock. “You’re just scared...”
Veronica removed her mouth from his cock, biting back a smile at his groan of disappointment. “Was I doing good?” She said quietly, choosing to ignore the previous conversation.
“Yeah,” he muttered as he grabbed her shoulders, yanking her up. He slid off the couch, lowering them both onto the carpet. “Do it often?”
She sighed, peeling off his shirt and tossing it to the side. “No, I’ve never done it with Duncan.”
He kissed her neck slowly, inching his body closer to hers. “Why not?”
“Stop talking about Duncan, Logan.”
“Ah, just mastered the missionary, huh?” Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she smiled as he undid her bra without looking. “What does he say when you come in there with all these new moves?” he asked as he tossed her bra over his shoulder.
“I don’t really show him...I know how possessive you are, so shut up,” she gasped as he ran his tongue along her lips, his hands running down between her thighs. “Fuck me, Logan,” she whispered in his ear as he slid on top of her. “Please.”
“You’re fucking insane,” he murmured, pulling her panties off her hips and tossing them to the side.
She smiled slowly, closing her eyes as he wrapped her legs around his hips. “What does that make you?”
“Fucking insane,” he said with a slight grin as Veronica laughed. The laughter faded as he slid inside her. Her back arched as her face contorted in pleasure, and he thought it was the most beautiful sight.
When it was over and they were both exhausted, Veronica laid on top of Logan, running her fingers over his slightly sweaty chest. A certain sadness filled her at the idea of this being the last time they would be together ever. She knew it had to end, and a part of her was glad that it was over, but she still felt as if she were losing something big.
He was leaving for a life of uncertainty, and she knew it was a foolish, immature thing to do, but a part of her wanted to join him, wanted to experience it. He was going to be absolutely free, and she couldn’t help but be jealous.
“Stay,” she said quietly.
He sighed, leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head. “I’m a fucking gypsy. I have to travel. It would be in my blood if I was Romanian.”
She lifted her head, staring at him. “Can I still come with you?”
“I would love it if you did.” He paused. “You won’t. But you should.”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, lowering her head back on his chest. “Do you still love me?” she whispered.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “Do you love me?”
She frowned, gently pulling him into a loose hug. “I think I could.”
“Ouch.”
“No, that’s a good thing.” She blinked back the tears in her eyes, holding him tighter. “It’s a very good thing.”
* * * * *
Duncan and Veronica moved in together right after graduation, not long after Logan left for wherever he was going. A beautiful three-bedroom condo, right in the middle of downtown Neptune. Her father had voiced some initial disapproval, before helping them with the move, and Veronica had to keep from loudly agreeing with him and running away.
The master bedroom was all white, and Faith’s bedroom was all pink. Another small bedroom was Veronica’s workspace, and Duncan turned it into a darkroom for her photography, which actually pleased her to no end.
Everything went well until the first postcard came from New Zealand, three months after the move, addressed to “the Kanes and Veronica Mars.”
Veronica cried hysterically in their new bathroom, clutching the postcard tightly in her hand. She felt stupid, so stupid, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t help but feel he was doing this on purpose, to let her know what she was missing.
She got the message, loud and clear, and the postcards kept coming, a month apart.
Duncan and Veronica got engaged a year after the move, not long after another one of Logan’s postcards arrived. Veronica threw up in their bathroom after saying yes. She felt her heart tearing in two but all logic told her this was a natural progression. It made the most sense out of everything in her life.
Logan found out about the engagement by way of voicemail. Veronica’s voice was quiet and emotionless as she delivered the news, and she had hung up when he began screaming at her. Several ignored calls later, and Logan had flung his phone into the ocean.
* * * * *
Logan started writing about a month after Veronica effectively “broke up” with him. It was something that came out, surprisingly, after he had drunk way too much at some bar in Amsterdam. He wrote because his mother loved to read, and he wanted to give her something to cherish.
Then, he remembered his mother was wrinkled and bloated and eaten away and dead somewhere, so he drank some more.
The story was fiction based on fact. A man in love with a woman he could never have, so he traveled, leaving her cryptic messages along the way. Halfway through the book, the woman met the protagonist in various locations to continue their affair.
Always the showman, Logan called it Hopeless.
He kept writing, abandoning liquor for the words, and continued in coffeehouses and planes and trains and hotel rooms. He had over five notebooks of story, and guarded them more than he did his own passport.
“What are you writing?”
Logan froze, glancing up at the sound of the voice. He blinked, trying to remember where he was before spotting a sign in Spanish near the front door. Argentina. He was still in Argentina. “What?”
The tall blonde grinned at him, tilting her head to the side. “You’ve been writing since you got here- it better be good.”
He stared at her, wondering where he recognized her from. “Uh...” He glanced down at his notebook, tapping his pen on the page. “Just a story.”
“I know you.” She said quickly, sliding into the seat across from him. She glanced at her lap before resting her forearms on the table, leaning in. “You went to Neptune High.” He stared at her blankly, and her smile grew. “I was on the Pep Squad, and you were one of the popular, hot seniors that all the undergrads drooled over.”
Logan smiled slightly. She was pretty enough- leggy, kind eyes, and a sweet voice. “Ah, but you don’t know my name. I must’ve not been that drool-worthy.”
“Casey Gant.” He rolled his eyes, and she waved him off, pretending to think. “Dick Casablancas.” He cringed, and she bit her bottom lip, a smile shining through. “Sean...Marcos?” He shook his head slowly, and she snapped her fingers. “Gosh, now I remember! You’re Logan Echolls, son of two movie stars! How could I forget that? My mind is failing me....”
His grin grew, and he leaned forward, gazing at her. “I don’t know who you are.”
“You wouldn’t. But you will.” She stood up, giving him a small wave. “See you later.”
He started to get up. “Where are you going?”
“I have to meet up with my cousins.” She called, waving over her shoulder as she headed for the door.
“What’s your name?” He yelled.
She waited until she was at the door to give him a brilliantly bright smile. “Hannah.”
Logan watched her as the door closed, and continued to follow her as she walked by the large windows, smiling shyly. He grinned back, giving her a small wave before turning his attention to his fiction. He tried to return his attention back to the task at hand, but couldn’t help but be elated over her pure smile.
* * * * *
Veronica dashed across the hallway, trying to stop a wobbly Faith from reaching the front door as the doorbell rang again. She pulled the child back, setting her in her door swing, and Faith immediately began to bawl her displeasure.
Veronica closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself down. This was not the worst of it, she tried to tell herself. The kid was just teething and had a bad cold and she missed her daddy and that was all. This wasn’t bad.
The doorbell rang again, and she jumped. With a shake of her head, Veronica thrust a frozen teething ring out at Faith, and the girl happily took it, shoving the ring into her mouth. Veronica rolled her eyes, straightening up and walking to the door. She opened it with a sigh. “Can I help-”
Logan smiled at Veronica, giving her the tiniest of waves. “Hi.”
She froze at the sight of him, suddenly feeling self-conscious in her dingy shorts and worn hoodie. Her hand immediately flew to her hair, trying to calm it as she observed Logan. He was tan and looking well-rested, with just a hint of stubble on his face.
He raised his eyebrows at her less-than-welcoming stance. “No hug?”
She let out a sharp breath, anger filling her. She wondered who the hell he thought he was- a year after not even calling, and here he was, back in her life. No letters, no calls, no nothing, and yet he was here, in front of her, acting like nothing happened. Acting like he didn’t know she had worried for almost half a year about him after their last conversation.
“Enjoyed your trip?” She asked harshly.
“Yeah. It was just wonderful.”
“Good. What are you doing here?” She questioned sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What- I can’t come see my best friend in the whole wide world and his lady love?” He shot her a glare as he moved inside the condo. “Congratulate them on their engagement?”
Veronica closed her eyes painfully, slamming the door shut. “Logan, you can’t be here. Duncan’s going to be home soon.”
Logan frowned, looking around and poking his head into the living room. “This is pretty cheap for DK...”
“We’re moving into the estate after the wedding,” she mumbled miserably. “It’s still being renovated- get out.”
He raised his eyebrows, spinning to face her. “The estate? Really? Lifestyles of the rich and famous...” His eyes lit up as he spotted Faith in her swing, chewing on her teething ring. “Hey, is this the little mistake that could?”
“Don’t call her that.” Veronica snapped. “Her name is Faith.”
“Ah. She sounds like a Bible-Thumper. How appropriate. Meg would’ve been proud. How old is she? Does she talk?”
“One.” Veronica sighed. “She says hi, bye, daddy, dada, milk, and juice. It sounds like jew, though.”
Logan bent over, scooping up the child in his arms. Faith stared up at him, and he grinned. “What’s up, little one?”
Veronica frowned as Logan walked around aimlessly with Faith, bouncing her slightly. “What are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to say hi.” He made a face at Faith, and grinned when she laughed. “See, maybe I didn’t get the sucky parenting genes from my dad after all.”
Veronica rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall. “You have to leave. Now. Give it to me.”
Logan frowned, glancing at her. “It?”
“Her.” Veronica corrected herself quickly, holding her arms out. “Give her to me.” A smirk played on Logan’s face as he handed Faith over, and the child immediately embraced Veronica.
Logan’s eyes narrowed as Veronica nearly flinched at the contact before rubbing the girl’s back awkwardly. “Great parenting skills, Veronica.”
“Get out.”
He leaned over, going for Veronica’s cheek. At the last possible moment, he moved his mouth against hers, letting his lips linger on hers before pulling away. His eyes fell on her diamond earrings, and the smile grew. “You’ll be a Stepford Wife yet, Veronica Mars.”
Veronica didn’t look at him, focusing on the baby in her arms. “Say bye to Uncle Logan, Faith.”
Faith didn't look at Logan, busying herself with Veronica's necklace. Veronica struggled not to look annoyed, staring straight ahead. “Bye!”
Logan grinned brightly at the child, waving at her. “Bye, sweetie!” His smile faded completely as he stared at Veronica, swinging the door open. “Bye.”
Veronica jumped as the door slammed behind him.
* * * * *
Logan began hanging out at the condo, having drinks with Duncan and bonding with Faith. Duncan was pleased, having his (former) best friend back into his life. He never let him be alone with Veronica, though. That’s where Faith came in. Even at one years old, she was his little partner in crime.
Veronica almost always found a reason to leave the condo when Logan came over, and neither man ever questioned her. Whenever she couldn’t find a reason to escape, she stayed quiet as Duncan and Logan bonded, or at least pretended to. She caught Logan staring at her a couple of times when Duncan wasn’t paying attention, and she tried to stop her body from heating up at the feel of his intense gaze.
Duncan told Faith to call Veronica “mommy.” He thought it sounded right. Veronica was, after all, the only mother the baby knew. Veronica blushed the first time Faith said it, she was so embarrassed. Or horrified, Duncan wasn’t quite sure.
When Faith called Veronica “mommy” in front of Logan, he just looked sick.
* * * * *
Logan was arrested for a DUI a week after his return, and his one phone call was to Veronica.
After bailing him out, she drove him back to his still-temporary home at the Neptune Grand. She screamed at him for being an idiot, for not growing up. She didn’t understand how he had expected them to be together if he didn’t grow up. She needed him to be an adult.
He laughed, so she ripped into him some more.
He rewarded her spunk by fucking her hard against the door of his suite. She let herself come twice, then showered under hot water.
And so ended the end of their affair.
Next part, 1b