Almost dying doesn't change anything
dying changes everything;
cursedpromise || Rokujo Miharu || paradisim_rpg
Miharu is very not right in the head right now. Between the maze showing up again, being separated from Yoite, the fact that Yoite is alone, and the fact that he's learned that Yoite's heartbeat is pretty damn weak? He is in a very. bad. place. The kind of place where you're resisting the oh-so-tempting voice in your head that's saying she can fix everything and make the person you care most about OK, make everything ok, and quite possibly make it so that Yoite wouldn't hate him for saving him. (not that he'd do that, but god, the offer is very damned tempting) ....He's alone in the maze with only the company of the voice in his head and he's in a very dark place, metaphorically and literally speaking.
He will be mostly fine once he finds Yoite and realizes he's pretty much ok, but until then, he's... not going to be ok AT ALL. He's not going to go around taunting people as much, I think, and he'll be very much avoiding people like Haruhi and Lyserg, because he just... doesn't want to be near anyone like that, because they'd worry and try to find him and tell him that everything is ok when it is so obviously not, and he very much doesn't want to deal with that. I kind of do want him to end up with someone while he and Yoite are separated, if only to distract from the evil fucking loli (and MAYBE pull him a little bit out of the place he's in right now), but since he's avoiding the two people most likely to try and find him, well... you see the problem with that.
Hanging out with someone like Roxas might be good though, because for whatever reason Miharu likes Roxas, and he wouldn't mind actually getting to meet him. Someone like Matt, too, because he might not actually get into his personal issues and just leave him to sulk in peace or something. ......or Demyx because they are both in dark places, and misery loves company. And the three of them would probably not get upset or anything like that if Miharu found Yoite and was just like 'ok you can leave now'. ....though all depending on how things went, he might let them stick around. Or something. I-IDK why am I even thinking about those scenarios, it probably won't happen anyway. :/ Ugh. I get too nervous to plot with the muns anyway
There is one major difference between the Miharu in Paradisim and the Miharu in canon and in NeoGenesis; he... can't do it. He couldn't do it, no matter what happened. The Miharu in Neo could... probably still grant Yoite's wish, if it came right down to it, because that's what Yoite wants, more than anything. He isn't that selfish just yet. He would do it, because for a minute, Yoite might be truly happy.
But the Miharu in Paradisim--the Miharu that has spent the past few months living in peace with Yoite, like he's wanted all along--he can't do it. Not now. He's become too selfish, too dependent, and too happy to do it, because he loves Yoite, he has always loved Yoite, and if... worst-case scenario, if Yoite died, he would go mad, scream and sob and beg Yousei-san to please, bring him back, bring him back, BRING HIM BACK, and it would be awful and he'd be completely destroyed, and he'd still be pretty damn fucked up even if she did bring Yoite back. Their relationship will never be something healthy, no matter what, and I highly doubt that either of them would care if they actually realized it. ...well, Yoite might care, because he's got that thing about hurting Miharu, but that's. not the point.
apotheosise || Rokujo Miharu || neo_rpg
Neo!Miharu is.... in a fairly better place than Para!Miharu. The one absolute constant between them, and possibly every Miharu that anyone will ever play, is Yoite; is Yoite ok, where is Yoite, what can I do for Yoite, and it's this HUGE BUNDLE OF WORRY AND STRESS AND TRAUMA WAITING TO HAPPEN. (when he first found out that Yoite didn't know who he was, Miharu was just... very crushed. It was very possibly the darkest place he's ever been in.lolol he's from before chapter 50 obviously) And he doesn't know how Yoite will take to staying over for a bit in his new home because there are two other grown men there right now, and one is very happy and mommy-ish and Miharu thinks it's totally fake, but it could still result in trauma-ing with his not!boyfriend and that is a very bad thing.
He's also.... Slightly confused, because it's been a long time since he found Yoite again, and his time should have been up by now, so uh, Yoite, why are you not dead? ._. And he can't ask, because Yoite always says 'I'm fine', and I swear to god, he has to RESIST THE URGE TO YELL AT HIM, because he's so desperate just to know whether or not he's actually ok. And is having a very hard time with just... not telling him everything he knows, what he is, and that, yes, I can grant your wish Yoite. Because if he said that, it wouldn't be better, it wouldn't be better at all, but Miharu is self-destructive enough to do that, because Yoite would stay by his side and he'd be happy for a little while. .....but these issues are a constant with Miharu and he's learned how to cope with them without them just. crushing him or something.
AND THEN THERE'S SEIJU and he doesn't know what to think of this guy, because his ideals are strange and he's acting (yes, acting) far too nice for that city, but he hasn't made Miharu go to school and he's put a roof over his head, so he's both grateful and wary of the man. He's caught between being polite and a lying little runt with the guy, and confronting him right out and saying that he isn't helping 'Miharu', only 'the child', and he'd help any 'child' if it meant he had a purpose in life, and that 'Miharu' means nothing to him as an actual person. (this fact makes him unnecessarily frustrated, and he isn't sure why.) At the same time, though, he's dead-set on not getting too close to him, because he knows that it will come down to him using the Shinrabanshou someday, and he may die from that, so what's the point in it? He exists to either save Yoite or grant his wish; nothing else matters.
And, because I didn't elaborate on this enough, have an edit: The way Miharu sees it, he has three paths, and he has had these three paths for a long time now. Path one; He uses the Shinrabanshou to save Yoite. And they both live. Everyone lives. This is the path that he, as a person, as a selfish, selfish person, wants most. But it is also the most unlikely. The other two paths...they both end in death and erasure, for he and Yoite. One, He erases Yoite, and dies himself in the process because, lol, the knowledge could kill him. Two, he erases Yoite, and... goes with him. Erases the Shinrabanshou, himself, Yoite; gets rid of the fact that any of them ever existed, rewrites everything and anything he needs to. And if that doesn't work, he kills himself, because really, what is there to live for if Yoite isn't there?
His desire to not get any closer with the people around him could merely be his own selfishness at not wanting any ties that would keep him there. Because, as sad as it might be, he doesn't believe he'll have his happy ending at all. ....and, for the most part, he's ok with this. He wishes he wasn't--that he could just save Yoite, save himself, and live, but Yoite, as he is now, would hate him for that. And he can't do that to Yoite. Can't do that to himself. Instead, Miharu has resigned himself to death.
personajesus || Arisato Minato || paradisim_rpg
Minato is very much ok with the maze plot! It reminds him of Tartatus and Tartarus reminds him of home and he misses his home and his friends, and the maze is like familiar ground and something he actually knows, and while he adapts very well to new places and experiences, he does sekritely like the fact that it appeared, if only a little. And! He has companions now! and while they are younger then him, it's even more like home, and he doesn't mind if it in the least. He couldn't hate Tartarus, even though his friends were in danger, and he doesn't hate the maze, even though other people are in danger.
....And, Belphegor! Minato likes Belphegor. :'D He's the only person he's really spoken with much since arriving in Paradisim, and Belphegor is kind of. Cute. In a dangerous puppy sort of way. He'll happily play with you, but he will also bite if you aren't careful or if he doesn't like you enough. And he isn't sure how, but Bel ended up living with him supposedly, and he was sort of actually happy about that, because Minato has always lived with people around, and it's almost lonely (he doesn't really get lonely, though, just kind of "...Oh.." about it) without someone around.
...i-idk why you would, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask?
cursedpromise || Rokujo Miharu || paradisim_rpg
Miharu is very not right in the head right now. Between the maze showing up again, being separated from Yoite, the fact that Yoite is alone, and the fact that he's learned that Yoite's heartbeat is pretty damn weak? He is in a very. bad. place. The kind of place where you're resisting the oh-so-tempting voice in your head that's saying she can fix everything and make the person you care most about OK, make everything ok, and quite possibly make it so that Yoite wouldn't hate him for saving him. (not that he'd do that, but god, the offer is very damned tempting) ....He's alone in the maze with only the company of the voice in his head and he's in a very dark place, metaphorically and literally speaking.
He will be mostly fine once he finds Yoite and realizes he's pretty much ok, but until then, he's... not going to be ok AT ALL. He's not going to go around taunting people as much, I think, and he'll be very much avoiding people like Haruhi and Lyserg, because he just... doesn't want to be near anyone like that, because they'd worry and try to find him and tell him that everything is ok when it is so obviously not, and he very much doesn't want to deal with that. I kind of do want him to end up with someone while he and Yoite are separated, if only to distract from the evil fucking loli (and MAYBE pull him a little bit out of the place he's in right now), but since he's avoiding the two people most likely to try and find him, well... you see the problem with that.
Hanging out with someone like Roxas might be good though, because for whatever reason Miharu likes Roxas, and he wouldn't mind actually getting to meet him. Someone like Matt, too, because he might not actually get into his personal issues and just leave him to sulk in peace or something. ......or Demyx because they are both in dark places, and misery loves company. And the three of them would probably not get upset or anything like that if Miharu found Yoite and was just like 'ok you can leave now'. ....though all depending on how things went, he might let them stick around. Or something. I-IDK why am I even thinking about those scenarios, it probably won't happen anyway. :/ Ugh. I get too nervous to plot with the muns anyway
There is one major difference between the Miharu in Paradisim and the Miharu in canon and in NeoGenesis; he... can't do it. He couldn't do it, no matter what happened. The Miharu in Neo could... probably still grant Yoite's wish, if it came right down to it, because that's what Yoite wants, more than anything. He isn't that selfish just yet. He would do it, because for a minute, Yoite might be truly happy.
But the Miharu in Paradisim--the Miharu that has spent the past few months living in peace with Yoite, like he's wanted all along--he can't do it. Not now. He's become too selfish, too dependent, and too happy to do it, because he loves Yoite, he has always loved Yoite, and if... worst-case scenario, if Yoite died, he would go mad, scream and sob and beg Yousei-san to please, bring him back, bring him back, BRING HIM BACK, and it would be awful and he'd be completely destroyed, and he'd still be pretty damn fucked up even if she did bring Yoite back. Their relationship will never be something healthy, no matter what, and I highly doubt that either of them would care if they actually realized it. ...well, Yoite might care, because he's got that thing about hurting Miharu, but that's. not the point.
apotheosise || Rokujo Miharu || neo_rpg
Neo!Miharu is.... in a fairly better place than Para!Miharu. The one absolute constant between them, and possibly every Miharu that anyone will ever play, is Yoite; is Yoite ok, where is Yoite, what can I do for Yoite, and it's this HUGE BUNDLE OF WORRY AND STRESS AND TRAUMA WAITING TO HAPPEN. (when he first found out that Yoite didn't know who he was, Miharu was just... very crushed. It was very possibly the darkest place he's ever been in.lolol he's from before chapter 50 obviously) And he doesn't know how Yoite will take to staying over for a bit in his new home because there are two other grown men there right now, and one is very happy and mommy-ish and Miharu thinks it's totally fake, but it could still result in trauma-ing with his not!boyfriend and that is a very bad thing.
He's also.... Slightly confused, because it's been a long time since he found Yoite again, and his time should have been up by now, so uh, Yoite, why are you not dead? ._. And he can't ask, because Yoite always says 'I'm fine', and I swear to god, he has to RESIST THE URGE TO YELL AT HIM, because he's so desperate just to know whether or not he's actually ok. And is having a very hard time with just... not telling him everything he knows, what he is, and that, yes, I can grant your wish Yoite. Because if he said that, it wouldn't be better, it wouldn't be better at all, but Miharu is self-destructive enough to do that, because Yoite would stay by his side and he'd be happy for a little while. .....but these issues are a constant with Miharu and he's learned how to cope with them without them just. crushing him or something.
AND THEN THERE'S SEIJU and he doesn't know what to think of this guy, because his ideals are strange and he's acting (yes, acting) far too nice for that city, but he hasn't made Miharu go to school and he's put a roof over his head, so he's both grateful and wary of the man. He's caught between being polite and a lying little runt with the guy, and confronting him right out and saying that he isn't helping 'Miharu', only 'the child', and he'd help any 'child' if it meant he had a purpose in life, and that 'Miharu' means nothing to him as an actual person. (this fact makes him unnecessarily frustrated, and he isn't sure why.) At the same time, though, he's dead-set on not getting too close to him, because he knows that it will come down to him using the Shinrabanshou someday, and he may die from that, so what's the point in it? He exists to either save Yoite or grant his wish; nothing else matters.
And, because I didn't elaborate on this enough, have an edit: The way Miharu sees it, he has three paths, and he has had these three paths for a long time now. Path one; He uses the Shinrabanshou to save Yoite. And they both live. Everyone lives. This is the path that he, as a person, as a selfish, selfish person, wants most. But it is also the most unlikely. The other two paths...they both end in death and erasure, for he and Yoite. One, He erases Yoite, and dies himself in the process because, lol, the knowledge could kill him. Two, he erases Yoite, and... goes with him. Erases the Shinrabanshou, himself, Yoite; gets rid of the fact that any of them ever existed, rewrites everything and anything he needs to. And if that doesn't work, he kills himself, because really, what is there to live for if Yoite isn't there?
His desire to not get any closer with the people around him could merely be his own selfishness at not wanting any ties that would keep him there. Because, as sad as it might be, he doesn't believe he'll have his happy ending at all. ....and, for the most part, he's ok with this. He wishes he wasn't--that he could just save Yoite, save himself, and live, but Yoite, as he is now, would hate him for that. And he can't do that to Yoite. Can't do that to himself. Instead, Miharu has resigned himself to death.
personajesus || Arisato Minato || paradisim_rpg
Minato is very much ok with the maze plot! It reminds him of Tartatus and Tartarus reminds him of home and he misses his home and his friends, and the maze is like familiar ground and something he actually knows, and while he adapts very well to new places and experiences, he does sekritely like the fact that it appeared, if only a little. And! He has companions now! and while they are younger then him, it's even more like home, and he doesn't mind if it in the least. He couldn't hate Tartarus, even though his friends were in danger, and he doesn't hate the maze, even though other people are in danger.
....And, Belphegor! Minato likes Belphegor. :'D He's the only person he's really spoken with much since arriving in Paradisim, and Belphegor is kind of. Cute. In a dangerous puppy sort of way. He'll happily play with you, but he will also bite if you aren't careful or if he doesn't like you enough. And he isn't sure how, but Bel ended up living with him supposedly, and he was sort of actually happy about that, because Minato has always lived with people around, and it's almost lonely (he doesn't really get lonely, though, just kind of "...Oh.." about it) without someone around.
...i-idk why you would, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask?