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dreamsofpaprika May 12 2010, 21:41:17 UTC

Maybe the dialogue is a bit too casual... no, that's not the right word. I mean to say that the words repeat a lot, like there's too much ''sure'' and ''yeah'' in the following exchanges; my English teacher always tells me not to use the same words all the time and substitute better words in order to make a stronger sentence structure. (There's those certain ''dead words''.)

But other thant that, I don't think this chapter sucks. Can't wait till the next one!

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versaillesqueen May 13 2010, 02:32:46 UTC
noted. thank you!!!

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