Response to comment fic meme
For the meme at http://kate-mct.livejournal.com/117292.html?view=234796#t234796
Gen, spoilers for 7x23, Sam freaks out.
A/N: my first fic related to the end of S7.
Looking around the room, one more time, just to be sure...yeah, this was it. He was on his own.
Not like it hadn't happened before. After Mystery Spot, he'd had six months without Dean and turned into a ruthless killer with serious psychological issues. On top of the ones he already had.
While Dean was in Hell, he'd barely been on his own for weeks before he gave in to Ruby's promise to make him stronger, so he could get his brother back. A colossal mistake, surely, but it was all he had at the time.
When Dean was gone, Sam freaked. He did things he knew were wrong. But the time for that hadn't yet come.
This was just the first few minutes. He had nothing to go on but the black goo covering the walls.
Crowley was gone. Dean was gone. Cas was gone. Kevin was gone. Bobby was gone. As the thoughts crept in to the recesses of his brain, his body reacted.
Holding on to the nearest solid surface to keep from falling, Sam felt it coming on and was powerless to stop it. His breaths were becoming more shallow, more quick, not enough to keep his brain and body functioning.
He knew was it was to hyperventilate, had seen it in others and experienced it himself on rare occasions. Training kicking into gear, he willed his body to move along with the cues from his brain. Slow down. Sit. Lower his head. Count. Take deep breaths though this nose, expel them through his mouth. Over and over for what seemed like forever until things seemed to even out a bit, at least physically.
He realized, once his necessary bodily functions slowly caught up, that this was real. He was alone. There was no one to turn to for help, so it was all on him.
Tears formed in his eyes and he was unable to stop them. He had absolutely no idea what to do. Crowley had given him no hope for finding Kevin, and Sam was shocked to realize that was a very low priority. From what Crowley had said, the horrifying truth came crashing down on him in seconds. When they'd dispatched Roman, he'd taken Cas and Dean with him to the place where he belonged: Purgatory.
Two people he knew of had been able to open the door to That Place, and he couldn't ask either of them for advice. One had disappeared after his hint, and the other was already gone.
The only solace he had was that Dean wouldn't be alone.
But what could he do? He couldn't ask Bobby. He couldn't ask anyone. There was no option but finding a way to get his brother and Castiel out. back to him where they belonged.
Hanging his head and giving in to his despair, Sam sat on the cold tile floor, rocking back and forth and sobbing. The desperation he felt to save his brother and his friend was weighed against the having no fucking clue how.
As usual, he found himself lacking, sitting on the light end of the scale. Until he could get a handle on what had happened, what needed to happen, what he could make happen, he had nothing but this: not a single goddamn idea.
Sam didn't know how long he sat there staring at the walls and lost in the sorrow of never seeing his brother again.
Prompt: would love something where Sam freaks out and hyperventilates once he realizes he really is all alone - and that he has no idea where's Dean, where's Castiel, that he has no one to go to...
I just want sad, desperate Sam not knowing what to do, thank you.
Gen, spoilers for 7x23, Sam freaks out.
A/N: my first fic related to the end of S7.
Looking around the room, one more time, just to be sure...yeah, this was it. He was on his own.
Not like it hadn't happened before. After Mystery Spot, he'd had six months without Dean and turned into a ruthless killer with serious psychological issues. On top of the ones he already had.
While Dean was in Hell, he'd barely been on his own for weeks before he gave in to Ruby's promise to make him stronger, so he could get his brother back. A colossal mistake, surely, but it was all he had at the time.
When Dean was gone, Sam freaked. He did things he knew were wrong. But the time for that hadn't yet come.
This was just the first few minutes. He had nothing to go on but the black goo covering the walls.
Crowley was gone. Dean was gone. Cas was gone. Kevin was gone. Bobby was gone. As the thoughts crept in to the recesses of his brain, his body reacted.
Holding on to the nearest solid surface to keep from falling, Sam felt it coming on and was powerless to stop it. His breaths were becoming more shallow, more quick, not enough to keep his brain and body functioning.
He knew was it was to hyperventilate, had seen it in others and experienced it himself on rare occasions. Training kicking into gear, he willed his body to move along with the cues from his brain. Slow down. Sit. Lower his head. Count. Take deep breaths though this nose, expel them through his mouth. Over and over for what seemed like forever until things seemed to even out a bit, at least physically.
He realized, once his necessary bodily functions slowly caught up, that this was real. He was alone. There was no one to turn to for help, so it was all on him.
Tears formed in his eyes and he was unable to stop them. He had absolutely no idea what to do. Crowley had given him no hope for finding Kevin, and Sam was shocked to realize that was a very low priority. From what Crowley had said, the horrifying truth came crashing down on him in seconds. When they'd dispatched Roman, he'd taken Cas and Dean with him to the place where he belonged: Purgatory.
Two people he knew of had been able to open the door to That Place, and he couldn't ask either of them for advice. One had disappeared after his hint, and the other was already gone.
The only solace he had was that Dean wouldn't be alone.
But what could he do? He couldn't ask Bobby. He couldn't ask anyone. There was no option but finding a way to get his brother and Castiel out. back to him where they belonged.
Hanging his head and giving in to his despair, Sam sat on the cold tile floor, rocking back and forth and sobbing. The desperation he felt to save his brother and his friend was weighed against the having no fucking clue how.
As usual, he found himself lacking, sitting on the light end of the scale. Until he could get a handle on what had happened, what needed to happen, what he could make happen, he had nothing but this: not a single goddamn idea.
Sam didn't know how long he sat there staring at the walls and lost in the sorrow of never seeing his brother again.
Prompt: would love something where Sam freaks out and hyperventilates once he realizes he really is all alone - and that he has no idea where's Dean, where's Castiel, that he has no one to go to...
I just want sad, desperate Sam not knowing what to do, thank you.