Title: Pretend
Characters: Sam, Cas, Dean
Rating: R for language and themes
W/C: ~1350
Summary: Cas has questions about Supernatural fanfiction.
A/N: for
spnspringfling, genre Sam, Cas, gen and the prompt a radical reinterpretation of the text. A nod here to my friend
ash_carpenter’s recent rant about a certain fic trope. Also, I am a fanfiction writer, specifically a Wincest writer, so clearly I am not bashing fanfiction or Wincest or anything like that. It just kind of fit the theme I was working with. Special thanks to
saltandbyrne for the quick beta read.
Sam wasn’t exactly sure how he’d gotten stuck with explaining Supernatural fanfiction to Castiel. Something to do with Dean grabbing his jacket and escaping their motel room with the car keys like a ninja. The Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations Ninja. Which, he guessed, wasn’t all that surprising.
Regardless, the task had fallen to him. Castiel had been spending a significant amount of time on the laptop recently. Sam thought he was doing research into that whole apocalypse thing they had going on. Important stuff, obviously, but after a while, it seemed a bit odd that Cas would rely on something as tiny as the Internet when he had the knowledge of a millennia right there in his brain already.
Finally Castiel turned to the brothers and simply said, “I am…surprised at the number of stories that have been written by these fans of the Prophet’s work. I can’t imagine they’re all that impressed with the books, though, since they just make up their own stories and completely disregard many aspects of what he wrote himself.”
Dean and Sam stared at each other only for as long as it took for Dean to do his ninja-esque Steve McQueen impression. Asshole. He could have at least rock-paper-scissored him for it, but then they both knew how that would turn out. That left Sam sitting there facing one of Castiel’s inquisitive stares. He wasn’t very good at ignoring those.
Sighing heavily, he began, “Cas, look, these stories can get kind of crazy. How much of it have you read?”
“Quite a bit. I enjoy the ones that speculate about yours and Dean’s childhood. Some are very heartfelt, though I find it unfortunate that many of these authors cast your father in a terribly unforgiving light. I understand that the way you were brought up was far from ideal, but what part of Chuck’s books would make people think John Winchester was physically abusive or intentionally cruel?”
“That’s the thing about these stories, Castiel. The authors take the characters Chuck gave them and make up whatever they want. They can turn me into the ruler of Hell, turn Dean into a dog, turn you into a pathetic sap who pines away for my brother”, Sam replied, rolling his eyes. He was met by a wide-eyed look by Castiel.
“Yes, I have encountered that as well. I can assure you, I do not-”
“I know, okay, I know that, believe me. I live this life, all of us do. We see what’s real, the people who write the fanfiction see what they want to see. Understand?”
“Yes, but - I do still have some questions.”
Well, screw it, Sam thought. In for a penny and all that. He got up and sat next to Cas at the table and asked, “All right. What do you want to know?”
Clicking a link, Cas said, “This, for example, on the subject we’ve been discussing. The story focuses on you leaving your father and brother to attend college in California. I know that was a difficult time for all of you, but this author seems to believe John and Dean were happy to see you go, that you were simply a burden to them and they were better off without you. That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I’d guess that would be based on an event that did occur, but not for the reasons this person has written into their version of what happened. We did have that huge fight when I told him I was leaving, and my dad really did tell me that if I left, he didn’t want me to come back. But he didn’t mean it. It was something he said in the heat of the moment, this epic argument where both of us said things we didn’t really mean. I was leaving because I didn’t want to hunt anymore, and he felt like I was abandoning our family’s mission to find and kill Azazel. All of that is true. But the author has taken that little bit of truth and turned it into something much uglier. So this is one of them that picks a piece of a real situation but tells the story in a way that doesn’t reflect what any of us were actually feeling at the time. It’s based on a true but not usual moment, then it goes its own way. See?”
Castiel nodded in understanding. “Yes. I do. It seems to be an exceptionally radical reinterpretation of the text, but I’ve found that’s not uncommon. There are many stories here on this particular website”, Cas clicked again, “which seems to be social media in a journal format, that follow that same pattern. Here is one that is focused on Dean’s protective nature toward you. There’s no denying the truth in that, both in reality and in the somewhat colored writings of the Prophet. But there is a recurring theme of Dean always sleeping in the bed closest to the door when you’re in a motel, which is simply not true. I have never noticed any pattern as to where either of you falls asleep on any given night. I suppose that is a metaphor? Dean’s desire to keep you safe, physically placing himself between you and anything meaning you harm?”
“Exactly. Like I said, anyone can take a little slice of reality, or what they believe to be reality based on the books, and decide that it’s real. The idea that Dean being three feet closer to the motel room door is going to keep me any safer is kind of ridiculous, especially considering that there are countless fuglies that are easily able to appear out of thin air anywhere they want. Vengeful spirits and demons don’t have to knock, or be invited in like vampires. I mean, not like vampires really have to be invited in…anyway, yeah. You get it.”
“I suspect it is futile for me to continue reading these stories. I thought they may help me gain some insight, but to be honest, I find myself frustrated by the ability of the writers to suspend their disbelief to this degree. Not to mention some of the atrocious grammar and spelling.”
Sam laughed then, genuinely amused that Castiel would be offended by grammatical errors when there was so much more that would have made him uncomfortable. Relieved for a moment, Sam figured he must not have found any of the…
“Also, the sheer volume stories that depict an incestuous relationship between you and Dean, or a sexual relationship between Dean and myself, even the three of us-”
Well shit, so Sam had been wrong about that. “Okay, Cas, you don’t need to go any farther down that road. I’ve seen it, Dean’s seen it, apparently you’ve seen it too.” Unable to control the flush on his face and the overwhelming urge to puke on his shoes that he’d gotten the first time he’d encountered those pieces of fiction, he reached up to close the laptop. “People have the right to their imaginations, but no good will come of any of us reading it.”
Castiel gave Sam a somber look and replied, “I agree. There is nothing in the original text that suggests you and your brother are engaged in sexual relations, and I have observed you both for quite some time without seeing anything that would bear out that theory.”
“Yeah, Cas, that’s because I’m not sleeping with Dean! I don’t begrudge the fangirls their fantasies, but figuring out a way to avoid the freaking Apocalypse is not going to come from reading this stuff. We’ve got more important issues to deal with, right?”
Before Castiel had time to reply, Sam’s text alert sounded.
OK to come back?
Would have been OK for u to not have left me to do this shit myself, jerk.
Be there in ten, bitch. Bringing pie.
And then, once again, other than the whole looming Armageddon thing, all was right with the world.