FIC - Drunk Philosophy
title: Drunk Philosophy
pairing: Sam/Dean
rating: R for language
summary: Sam finds a way to cut Dean off from his bottle of Jack.
“Dean.”
“W-what?”
“You’re drunk.”
Silence.
“Again.”
“A-yep. Indeed I am, Sammy.”
“You’ve had enough.”
“I’ve had enough when the bottle is empty. The bottle is not empty. You- you - went to college and you know all about things, philo - philo-so-ph-ical, uh, theories, and cause - and, and - effect, and this thing equals that thing, you know, who are those guys? Uh, Cunt?”
“Kant. And Hume.”
“YES. Those guys. The cause and effect guys. So you know. Right? Cause = I want to get drunk. Effect = I drank everything I had. Okay? You know. You get it.”
“OK, Dean. Yeah, I get it.”
“But I didn’t drink everything I have yet. So, I’m not done.”
“You are incorrect. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not a great philosopher, I am not Hume, I am not Kant, I am your brother, and I am telling you that you have had enough ”.
“Fuck you.”
“Well, I don’t think that particular sentiment is reflected in most of the philosophical works I’ve read.”
“What about Nietzsche?”
“Oh, so we’re back to God Is Dead? Is that where we are now?”
“God was only ever alive for you, Sam. You’ve always been the one praying, right? You don’t think God is dead, you think God is listening to you. You really do.”
“Yeah. Yes. I do. I think God is listening to me. And you think I’m stupid for believing that. We’ve been over this before. So fine. I’m stupid. Whatever.”
“No. I don’t think you’re stupid. I don’t. I swear. Please. Please…”
“Fuck, Dean, come on, don’t. Don’t cry. I love you, seriously, stop, don’t do this, just put the bottle down, you’ve had enough, you know I won’t lie to you, I’m telling you the truth, enough, you’ve had enough, right?”
Silence.
“OK. Yeah. I know you won’t lie to me, Sam. I had enough. I’ll stop now. Take it. Put it away.”
“I’ve got something that will make you feel better.”
“Oh…oh…that - yeah, that makes me feel better. Jesus, Sam, oh, don’t…don’t stop, fuck, you make me feel so good, baby.”
“Mmmm. Love you, De.”
pairing: Sam/Dean
rating: R for language
summary: Sam finds a way to cut Dean off from his bottle of Jack.
“Dean.”
“W-what?”
“You’re drunk.”
Silence.
“Again.”
“A-yep. Indeed I am, Sammy.”
“You’ve had enough.”
“I’ve had enough when the bottle is empty. The bottle is not empty. You- you - went to college and you know all about things, philo - philo-so-ph-ical, uh, theories, and cause - and, and - effect, and this thing equals that thing, you know, who are those guys? Uh, Cunt?”
“Kant. And Hume.”
“YES. Those guys. The cause and effect guys. So you know. Right? Cause = I want to get drunk. Effect = I drank everything I had. Okay? You know. You get it.”
“OK, Dean. Yeah, I get it.”
“But I didn’t drink everything I have yet. So, I’m not done.”
“You are incorrect. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not a great philosopher, I am not Hume, I am not Kant, I am your brother, and I am telling you that you have had enough ”.
“Fuck you.”
“Well, I don’t think that particular sentiment is reflected in most of the philosophical works I’ve read.”
“What about Nietzsche?”
“Oh, so we’re back to God Is Dead? Is that where we are now?”
“God was only ever alive for you, Sam. You’ve always been the one praying, right? You don’t think God is dead, you think God is listening to you. You really do.”
“Yeah. Yes. I do. I think God is listening to me. And you think I’m stupid for believing that. We’ve been over this before. So fine. I’m stupid. Whatever.”
“No. I don’t think you’re stupid. I don’t. I swear. Please. Please…”
“Fuck, Dean, come on, don’t. Don’t cry. I love you, seriously, stop, don’t do this, just put the bottle down, you’ve had enough, you know I won’t lie to you, I’m telling you the truth, enough, you’ve had enough, right?”
Silence.
“OK. Yeah. I know you won’t lie to me, Sam. I had enough. I’ll stop now. Take it. Put it away.”
“I’ve got something that will make you feel better.”
“Oh…oh…that - yeah, that makes me feel better. Jesus, Sam, oh, don’t…don’t stop, fuck, you make me feel so good, baby.”
“Mmmm. Love you, De.”