Chapter 6
This is one of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE chapters in the entire fic.
Love you Terra. Love you so so much.
Zexion, wanting to take his time, took the ornate elevators up to Xemnas's suite. As he stepped off onto the floor, he noted absently to himself that the massive skyscraper seemed more than anything to be a large hotel, like he'd seen in some more populated worlds. Some of the less mature members had begun to make the place less a temporary headquarters and more of a home; he'd caught Xigbar and Luxord betting on who could slide down the banisters fastest, himself or Demyx. Some small part of him had wanted to join in, but he'd pushed that thought quickly out of his mind- if he wanted to be treated like an adult, he had to act like one.
He stopped with a start when he got to Xemnas's door. Leaning against the wall next to the window was Xigbar.
"Xigbar? What are you doing here? I made it clear I was speaking to him on my own."
"Easy there, little guy. I just came to scope the boss out a bit, y'know?"
"You didn't have to."
"Well, I did. He isn't in, by the by. He hasn't been in all that much recently. I wonder why?"
"I can wait. Now, go away. I'm a big boy, I can handle it myself."
"Aw, how mean. I just wanted to warn you- watch it. You might find out something you won't like."
Zexion raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I'm sure I won't be too terribly upset, what with my lack of a heart to feel shock with."
Xigbar chuckled and looked out the window, crossing his arms. "You'd be surprised…Ienzo."
He opened a corridor and stepped through, leaving Zexion to his thoughts.
Zexion turned towards the window Xigbar had been looking out of, slightly anxious. Speaking of wondering…Xigbar hasn't been around much recently, either. He hasn't even been speaking to us beyond some cryptic excuse or riddle. Not even to Lexaeus or Xaldin, the two closest to him. Maybe I should be careful around him…
Shaking the doubts out of his mind, Zexion entered the Superior's study. Almost instantly, his suspicion skyrocketed. The room didn't look a thing like it belonged to Xemnas. It was almost like a different person had taken over.
For one thing, it was much messier. The bed stood un-slept in. Books and papers littered the floor, along with odds and ends he'd remembered Xemnas collecting from other worlds, though they were much more copious and unarranged now. A pair of black gloves lay on the overstuffed chair, along with the topsheet off the bed, revealing where he'd been spending his nights.
But the thing that gave Zexion the most pause was the books. They lay haphazardly all over the room, in stacks, on chairs, in piles, thrown about in odd places, spines bent and dog-eared. It made Zexion cringe.
And it was most certainly not something Xemnas would be caught dead doing.
Stepping closer to the desk, Zexion noted with some interest that the books cluttering the tabletop were none other than the man's own notebooks and journals. One was open, and a passage was circled. Next to it, in unfamiliar handwriting, a single word stood out sharply: Ven?
A portal startled Zexion out of reading further. Turning, he saw Xemnas stumble slightly out of the corridor, rather bruised up and favoring his right leg. On his face was an uncharacteristically genuine look of frustration and disappointment.
"Xemnas."
Xemnas jumped, startled, and then swung around to face Zexion, flinging on his usual mask of amused neutrality. Brushing his coat off, he spoke, trying to keep his voice even.
"Number Six. What are you doing in my study? Do you have need of something?"
Zexion growled in annoyance, his inner childishness having had enough. "Don't give me that crap, Xemnas. I know something's going on. Now you had better tell me, or this will get ugly fast. What the hell did you do to Saïx? Talk, Xemnas."
"Number Six, I-"
"Don't you dare call me a number! I have a name, Xemnas! I want the truth right now! No lies, not anymore! I- we- deserve to know everything! Your friends deserve to know!"
Xemnas sighed, dropping the emotionless mask. Suddenly looking terribly exhausted, he motioned for Zexion to sit down on the bed, and limped over to the chair behind the desk, deftly spinning it around to face Zexion before gracelessly slumping down onto it with a sigh of relief.
Zexion frowned, now extremely confused. Noticing his expression, Xemnas laughed softly, which only served to confuse him even more. And Zexion hated being confused almost as much as he hated not being looked straight in the eye when in conversation, and Xemnas hadn't met his gaze once.
"Okay, what-"
Xemnas cut him off. "There are a lot of things I need to tell you, Zexion. I've been carrying this around for a while now, and I need to share my story with someone."
"Your…story? Xemnas, you- you remember?" Zexion looked stunned. After all this time…Xemnas finally remembered his past.
Xemnas finally met Zexion's gaze, and Zexion's suspicions were all but confirmed. Those eyes, while still the same orange of Darkness corruption, were not Xemnas's. They were filled with too much emotion- guilt, frustration, and disappointment- to be his.
"Yeah, I remember. I'm not…I'm not who you think I am." He sighed in frustration. "I…I'm not Xehanort."
Zexion frowned. "Then who…?"
Xemnas ran a hand through his hair, growling softly. "I'm…the Xehanort you knew was…was someone else. Someone in my body. He had control, but I was…" He looked annoyed. "Damn it. I can't think of how to tell you."
Zexion couldn't help but laugh softly. "Well, then, not-Xehanort. Why don't you start from the very beginning? For starters, who are you, exactly?"
Xemnas laughed as well, giving Zexion a small half-smile. "Alright, I'll start there. My name's Terra. I was a Keybearer, along with my two friends Ventus and Aqua. And I...I was an idiot."
He looked at his lap, and when he spoke next, Zexion could hear the guilt in his voice. "I let Xehanort corrupt me. I was blind to it, and before I got my act together and pulled my head out of my ass…he'd filled my heart with darkness. And it was easy for him to take me."
"But that's just the short version. I'm sure you want the longer one, Zexion. I know you. So here goes…"