Comments | veryspecial0ne: Ode to Optophobia (4B)

veryspecial0ne

Ode to Optophobia (4B)

Jul 13, 2011 00:17

Title: Ode to Optophobia, or: Ten Men That Loved Annie Edison (8/19)
Author: veryspecial0ne
Rating: R for the whole series, to be safe.
Word count: ~2300 for this installment, ~22,600 for the series thus far.
Disclaimer: I have now been tweeted by both Dan Harmon and Alison Brie. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to having ( Read more... )

fanfiction, community, ode to optophobia

Comments 15

__barelyalive July 13 2011, 11:48:59 UTC

oh, i have been waiting and waiting for this chapter. it did not disappoint at all.

brilliantly done. and i love that moment when he gets that it's not his place to feel possessive. it somehow makes mr. history teacher man's reaction much more justifiable in a way. because, as opposed to Bryan Edison, Mr. Harding has some kind of paternal feelings for Annie stemming from him helping her into rehab, an almost fatherly thing to do...

so anyway.

wonderful awesome chapter. :D

veryspecial0ne July 13 2011, 23:10:31 UTC

Hahaha, "mr. history teacher man." That's totally what Troy called Harding in his head during high school instead of actually learning his name.

What I'm figuring is that the only way all of these perspectives on Annie are going to stay interesting is if they're coming from someone as human as I can manage to make them. None of these guys are perfect (well, Colby might be a little perfect, but we all need someone to love) but they're not bad guys. Bryan's thing is that when he gave up his marriage he let himself give up his daughter. His redemption, I think, is that he accepts the consequences of his actions and is willing to let Annie be an adult. Where she gives him an opening he'll take it but he knows better than to overstep his bounds. Everyone learns, right?

As always, thanks for reading!

stephanierb July 13 2011, 14:26:41 UTC

I can't believe you added in Jeff at the end for me! That is so awesome! It totally made my day ( ... )

veryspecial0ne July 13 2011, 22:57:54 UTC

I actually tried to write a real interaction between the two guys at the end, where Jeff came back, both to make you happy and because the chapter was so damn short but it just wasn't ringing true. Yeah, Jeff totally cares about Annie, but he's also all about letting everyone do whatever they want -- like, it should be his epitaph is how all about that he is -- so I think he'd show up and make sure Annie was okay, just like he'd drop Harding his card in case he changed his mind, but that's his limit. Not because he doesn't care about Annie enough but because it actually goes against his personal philosophy.

Also the greying hair is partly my wishful thinking that Jeff will someday embrace his inevitable status as a silver fox, because god is he going to be a good one.

I'm working a tiny bit on the Five Times fic here and there when something pops into my head, but it's at least planned out and I'll totally start working on it in earnest when this one's done. Next chapter marks the halfway point!

stephanierb July 14 2011, 01:49:06 UTC

Well, I loved the scene the way you wrote it, wholly distinct from the confrontation with Mr. Harding. Because it seemed inevitable that they would meet, I just figured there would be interaction between Jeff and Annie's father, but with her father figure and her actual father both making appearances in this story, you don't want a rehash of what came before.

And yay for work on the five times fic!

I'm still giddy that you dedicated this to me AND added Jeff in! :-)

fangirl_101 July 13 2011, 14:35:12 UTC

Again, I keep saying this, but I think this chapter is my favorite. (but really, this whole series is amazingly well done so it's not hard to do!) I love that Jeff was there even though she told him he didn't have to come, and that seeing Jeff waiting for her is what instantly relaxed Annie as she was leaving her dad's office. Her dad's inner thoughts are great, realizing he's not a part of her life so he can't really judge who she's marrying, realizing that he doesn't even know the woman in front of him. The revelation that Jeff's dad passed was so sad! But the perfect catalyst for making Annie want to seek out hers. I love your writing style and how you describe what the characters are thinking and feeling. Amazing job!!

veryspecial0ne July 13 2011, 23:21:19 UTC

Wow, I really hope every chapter ends up being your favorite or we're gonna have a real "it's all downhill from here" situation on our hands. Maybe I should make that sweatshirt just to be safe. And because I want one. Wait, off-topic.

One of the most interesting things to me about Jeff and Annie is how they make each other alternately really tense and really relaxed. Like, picture the manic grin on Jeff's face for those portions of Asian Population Studies. Now think of how chilled out and amused he was when Annie and he were giving each other shit during the break in the Poli Sci episode. It makes their relationship rich and multifaceted. In this particular case I just imagined that I was Annie, having just talked to my father for the first time in years, and I leave the office and see all of that delicious Jeff-arm ready to wrap me up and I was just like..."YES."

fangirl_101 July 14 2011, 13:13:29 UTC

I don't think this could ever go downhill, so no worries there!

"One of the most interesting things to me about Jeff and Annie is how they make each other alternately really tense and really relaxed. ... It makes their relationship rich and multifaceted."

YESYESYES!!! It's like your in my brain!

Oh, Jeff arms. Thank you for the delicious daydreams :)

wallows July 13 2011, 23:57:29 UTC

You captured the awkwardness between Annie and her dad well, and the difficulty of not even fixing but just coming up with some kind of understanding between a very fractured relationship. I'm glad she has Jeff's very manly arms to comfort her. That scene at the end with her father looking on was so sweet.

veryspecial0ne July 15 2011, 08:30:22 UTC

Thank you! I feel like television is often trying to get us to buy reconciliations between characters that probably would not actually repair their relationships in real life, because it's necessary for the story that's being told. And on the show I might be interested to see Annie try to rebuild a bond with her parents. But this is fic, where we can do whatever we want (muah-ha-ha) and so I made the executive decision: Annie and her parents? Never really gonna be a thing.

Jeff and Annie, however, TOTALLY a thing.

elsiesnuffin July 14 2011, 05:18:06 UTC

This series is so fantastic. I just love experiencing Jeff and Annie through other people's eyes. I like that her relationship with her dad isn't really going to be fixed easily and that she told him Jeff's age because she didn't want another fight. Great job!

veryspecial0ne July 15 2011, 08:37:44 UTC

Aww, yay! Reviews from you do warm my heart soooo.

Formidable!Annie is way fun to play with sometimes, and I figured this would be the perfect time to break her out. I mean, this is Annie freakin' Edison, y'all. She was voted Most Likely to Succeed at her rehab clinic! She took down Jeremy "Soul Patch" Simmons! And she may have daddy issues but she'll be DAMNED if she'll let them mess with her wedding day.