Wednesday (on Saturday) Takes the Bad Boy Too Far

[veschwab]

Hey guys. My YARebels vlog this week: a quick look at abuse/manipulation in YA.

Click to view

Now I'm off to Memphis for the weekend to help my aunt move! SO BUSY. BUT you should be very happy to know that this morning I *gasp* SLEPT IN. Yes, yes, I know, it's a MIRACLE.

Comments

[dawn_metcalf]

Thanks for putting this out there! I think you really nailed it by pointing out that this specific form of violence has a very different connotation when it's part of the love interest -- that this is supposed to be the "ideal" person, the one the reader, through the characters, want most. If being violent/dangerous/threatening/manipulative/emotionally abusive is set up as desirable, we better be saying something very intentional about these characters.

I don't necessarily agree that we all want the bad boy (or the pretty boy or the most popular boy, either), but there *is* a darkness that we're drawn to as curious people: the mystery, the unknown, the person who we can "save" by being a good person and showing them the way to the light, as it were. But there is a very dangerous message that has become prevalent in YA where this type of person is sexy-hott, a mixture of danger and threat and love, and THAT can become a pretty nasty trope when played out in reality

[sbennettwealer]

Love this, Victoria. I guess i don't care much for the dark love interest in general because really, those types of guys aren't the kinds that most women and girls are going to be able to have a long-term healthy relationship with. Yes, the brooding bad boy is attractive, and it's intoxicating when he's obsessed with you. But fast forward 5-10 years when he can't hold down a job due to being too cool for everything, when he's alienated all your friends and family, thus isolating you, when he still hasn't "found himself" and you're supporting both your asses? Yeah. You'll be looking at the nice, boring guy who was always there for you but didn't tatoo your name on his bicep and wishing you had his stable family life. I know I'm probably too practical in my old age, but I seriously think girls need to be looking at their love interests with this kind of eye as early as possible.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just a big cheerleader for the nice, stable dude - which I should probably reconsider when looking at how lucrative my career could

[sbennettwealer]

Which isn't to say I don't think girls and women should be reading stories with dark love interests, or that those books shouldn't be written. I'm a fan of any great story and Wuthering Heights is a classic, right? But we should be able to look at how realistic these types of relationships are in our own lives, as far as how likely they are to bring long-lasting happiness.

OK - rant really over now.

[megancrewe]

I think this is a really important topic, and I agree with everything you say in the vlog. What's really troubling, to me, is that people may say that "it's just a book" and no teenager would actually decide abusive behavior from a guy is okay just because they read a relationship in which the main character did... but as a psychology major and someone who's still working in the field, I know how easy it is for people to form unconscious associations

[jessica_shea]

Great vlog! I find the abusive love interest troubling as well. Besides romanticizing something that isn't desirable in real life, it plays into such weird gender stereotypes too: a domineering, jealous guy is supposed to be alpha hot but a domineering, jealous girl is a high-maintenance crazyface. I'd love to see a book where the girl calls the alpha guy out on his behavior and he realizes it isn't cool.