(no subject)
Title: Songbird
Rating: M
Pairing/Band: Ruki, Uruha, Kaoru/Uruha (Gazette+Dir en Grey)
A/N: Companion piece to We only have this stage
It was loud, dark and very crowded, the usual atmosphere or setting of any night club, and I’m out here alone.
I’m quite thankful we have the week off and I chose, of all places I could’ve gone, to go see my family in my old hometown. I have to admit it was nice seeing them again, to be able to enjoy home cooking and quiet time to myself and for a whole week, what the world knew me as wouldn’t exist and neither would you.
But its funny how one could get used to some things, the bad things, I miss the crowd and the noise and took myself out to the city for a bit of the nightlife. I dressed enough hoping that I wouldn’t be recognized, but enough nevertheless, to have someone accompany me for the night. I don’t want to take them home or party hard with them, I just wanted something like a simple conversation, maybe make a friend or two more. Anyone…as long as it took my mind off you.
And I almost feel guilty for that…
I down my third drink for the night and only look at the barkeep to bring me another, and although I’m quite thankful for the special people I keep in my life, there is only one thing that I can truly call my old friend. Fine liquor. He pours me another glass with quite precision and I tell him to leave the bottle.
Screw it; I’m out here with the intention of getting smashed anyway, something I‘m always teased for and to my knowledge, something you don’t really approve of. I see it in the way you look at me when we’re out with the rest of the band, drinking together, especially after a live.
Half-lidded gaze, smiling faintly at me, trying so hard to play off that you’re not drunk when in reality; you can never hold your liquor. It’s quite adorable actually, and I wish you would come out with us more often, to see more of you more often.
I held the glass at my lips for quite some time just lavishing in the memories of you, onstage and off. I love what you become, the intensity and emotions you put into every verse…and I swear if it weren’t for Aoi signaling me for our next parts, I could forget what I’m there for and just watch you sing.
And then you notice me, watching you, and I could almost swear you’re singing for me…
I become your world, forgetting the screaming fans and the rest of our band. You sing your heart out for me and I want to kiss you for that…and kiss you again just to breathe life into you to keep singing.
My…songbird is what you’ve become.
And I want to cage you within me forever just to hear you sing. Even when the words turn into sorrowful ones and the melodies push you to the verge of tears, you’re beautiful, achingly so.
But never do I want to see such a thing a pain on you, songbird. Never do I want to be the one to hurt you in any way either…
So just keep singing for me, songbird, keep singing for me. It’s comforting enough and onstage, where nothing really matters, I will keep giving you all the encouragement you need to go on.
Its better this way, you understand why…
Alas, the three pairs of eyes that were watching me the entire time finally have enough drinks within them to approach me. I smile to myself, my back turned to them at the bar. I knew it was only a matter of time until they did. It was only a mere coincidence that I ran into them here. I tuck a long strand of my hair behind my ear casually, then rested my chin in one hand, waiting.
Looks like I got my company for the night in the form of three members of another well-respected band. The three circled around me like sharks. Not quite hungry, but very much interested, and I don’t care to look for the other remaining two members.
We talked for a while, laughed, teased and managed to keep all band bashings at minimum, in which in return, I offered my smiles, my bare shoulders for them to touch and my hair for the other band’s leader to sweep off my neck.
Songbird…for some reason I found myself thinking of you, picturing you behind my closed eyelids, picturing your lips at my neck that the leader took possession of at the moment. And I feel dizzy getting out of my chair, whether it was from my alcohol consumption or otherwise, I don’t know.
But as I’m being led away by the leader, the other two following behind in a drunken stupor as well, I find myself asking for you, searching for you within my swaying eyesight. But I know you’re not there, you’re probably on the other side of Japan by now.
I close my eyes and think hard, bringing myself back to the stage with you. Where you’re singing for me again, reaching out your hand to me and caressing my face. I keep my mind on your song through this brutal kiss I was now engaged in, keep my mind your notes that struck at every fiber of my being like the hands that were all over me now, grasping me, touching me. I keep my mind your beautiful face all contorted to the emotion you are playing, matching my own as I throw my head back in ecstasy.
I try…I try so hard…to keep my mind on your song, to the very last bit of it, so it could help me make it through as I’m being set free.
Rating: M
Pairing/Band: Ruki, Uruha, Kaoru/Uruha (Gazette+Dir en Grey)
A/N: Companion piece to We only have this stage
It was loud, dark and very crowded, the usual atmosphere or setting of any night club, and I’m out here alone.
I’m quite thankful we have the week off and I chose, of all places I could’ve gone, to go see my family in my old hometown. I have to admit it was nice seeing them again, to be able to enjoy home cooking and quiet time to myself and for a whole week, what the world knew me as wouldn’t exist and neither would you.
But its funny how one could get used to some things, the bad things, I miss the crowd and the noise and took myself out to the city for a bit of the nightlife. I dressed enough hoping that I wouldn’t be recognized, but enough nevertheless, to have someone accompany me for the night. I don’t want to take them home or party hard with them, I just wanted something like a simple conversation, maybe make a friend or two more. Anyone…as long as it took my mind off you.
And I almost feel guilty for that…
I down my third drink for the night and only look at the barkeep to bring me another, and although I’m quite thankful for the special people I keep in my life, there is only one thing that I can truly call my old friend. Fine liquor. He pours me another glass with quite precision and I tell him to leave the bottle.
Screw it; I’m out here with the intention of getting smashed anyway, something I‘m always teased for and to my knowledge, something you don’t really approve of. I see it in the way you look at me when we’re out with the rest of the band, drinking together, especially after a live.
Half-lidded gaze, smiling faintly at me, trying so hard to play off that you’re not drunk when in reality; you can never hold your liquor. It’s quite adorable actually, and I wish you would come out with us more often, to see more of you more often.
I held the glass at my lips for quite some time just lavishing in the memories of you, onstage and off. I love what you become, the intensity and emotions you put into every verse…and I swear if it weren’t for Aoi signaling me for our next parts, I could forget what I’m there for and just watch you sing.
And then you notice me, watching you, and I could almost swear you’re singing for me…
I become your world, forgetting the screaming fans and the rest of our band. You sing your heart out for me and I want to kiss you for that…and kiss you again just to breathe life into you to keep singing.
My…songbird is what you’ve become.
And I want to cage you within me forever just to hear you sing. Even when the words turn into sorrowful ones and the melodies push you to the verge of tears, you’re beautiful, achingly so.
But never do I want to see such a thing a pain on you, songbird. Never do I want to be the one to hurt you in any way either…
So just keep singing for me, songbird, keep singing for me. It’s comforting enough and onstage, where nothing really matters, I will keep giving you all the encouragement you need to go on.
Its better this way, you understand why…
Alas, the three pairs of eyes that were watching me the entire time finally have enough drinks within them to approach me. I smile to myself, my back turned to them at the bar. I knew it was only a matter of time until they did. It was only a mere coincidence that I ran into them here. I tuck a long strand of my hair behind my ear casually, then rested my chin in one hand, waiting.
Looks like I got my company for the night in the form of three members of another well-respected band. The three circled around me like sharks. Not quite hungry, but very much interested, and I don’t care to look for the other remaining two members.
We talked for a while, laughed, teased and managed to keep all band bashings at minimum, in which in return, I offered my smiles, my bare shoulders for them to touch and my hair for the other band’s leader to sweep off my neck.
Songbird…for some reason I found myself thinking of you, picturing you behind my closed eyelids, picturing your lips at my neck that the leader took possession of at the moment. And I feel dizzy getting out of my chair, whether it was from my alcohol consumption or otherwise, I don’t know.
But as I’m being led away by the leader, the other two following behind in a drunken stupor as well, I find myself asking for you, searching for you within my swaying eyesight. But I know you’re not there, you’re probably on the other side of Japan by now.
I close my eyes and think hard, bringing myself back to the stage with you. Where you’re singing for me again, reaching out your hand to me and caressing my face. I keep my mind on your song through this brutal kiss I was now engaged in, keep my mind your notes that struck at every fiber of my being like the hands that were all over me now, grasping me, touching me. I keep my mind your beautiful face all contorted to the emotion you are playing, matching my own as I throw my head back in ecstasy.
I try…I try so hard…to keep my mind on your song, to the very last bit of it, so it could help me make it through as I’m being set free.