[drabble] Toshiya/Shinya-Road to Forever
Title: Road to Forever
Rating: PG
Pairing: slight ToshiyaxShinya (Dir en Grey)
Warning: Fluff, sap?
Summary: on this endless road to nothing, will you stick with me till the end?
All that was left of the mountainous, desert scenery was a bleak infinite of darkness that stretched out far beyond the headlights of the tour bus can penetrate. It was depressing as it was lonely, but at least the stars that stood out ever so brightly cheered him on and allowed him to get lost in the universe in which they hung in forever suspended, like crystals that glimmered on the most precious of velvet materials, suited only for the glamorous like him.
He rubbed his thin and delicate arms, stretching out his legs to work out the cramp that was starting to build from the long ride. The next venue was just beyond these mountains, he was told, and he couldn't wait to reach some form of civilization again. Not that he wasn't grateful for the peace he had to himself now, it was just that the sparkling diamonds in the night sky didn't talk back. Only twinkled lazily, and occasionally sending him a shooting star or two to make him smile in return for their silence.
He sighed and turned to the quiet tour bus. Quiet, messy, tour bus. He voiced his disapproval and got up to perhaps find something he could do to help occupy his time. Sleep obviously wasn't in the equation, so maybe a snack or nice drink, or some other life form in the shape of his band members was awake to keep him company.
But looking around the bus, in the dim lighting that illuminated the place relaxing amber hues, he saw nothing but a big mess of liquor bottles strewn about, Japanese snacks lying open and forgotten, and maybe a guitarist or two passed out somewhere in each corner of the bus.
He went to the first one that was closest to him, slumped over the grounded table with various forms of liquor scattered around his head and arms. He looked for a way to carefully pick up the other and make him more comfortable for sleep without waking him up.
"Oh Die..." he sighed as he positioned the guitarist back against the seat and brought his jacket over him, meanwhile pushing back the thought of the bottles and a potential problem he was hoping the other wasn't developing. Once he got one guitarist settled right, he eyed the other from across, which didn't seem to be in a bad position, but didn't look like he would be engaged in a conversation with him anytime soon.
He could tell even with that notebook perched on the other's face where he was laying back just as still with his arms crossed over his chest. No hope there.
So he moved on, wobbling his way to the end of the bus where the bunks were, taking note of one bunk that had the curtains pulled over, clearly stating 'DO NOT DISTURB.' He stared at it longingly for a brief moment.
Come to think of it, those curtains were pulled shut since the beginning of the tour, he couldn't even remember the last time he had seen their vocalist. Somehow an image of him skipping backstage from a distant memory came to mind, and it was hard to believe that he used to know that person.
So his only hope came in the form of the lower bunk behind him. The lights were on but the lithe body that laid there was turned back to him. There was no way to tell if he was sleeping or not but as a small smile graced his feminine features, he knew that if there was anyone he could count on being a neurotic, it was their bassist.
He planted both hands around a bar to sneak a peak inside and managed a glimpse of the other's face. His brows were drawn together, perfect lips in a frown that rarely ever smiles anymore and his eyes although closed, looked nothing like one slumbering peacefully.
"I thought you would be awake..." whispered Shinya with a soft chuckle.
"What if I wasn't…"
"C'mon, we've been together for how long? You think that I would know you by now."
Toshiya smiled because he was right, and rolled over to face him and at the same time, to make room for Shinya to snuggle in. And Shinya did just that.
He pressed the length of his body back against the bassist's, so that Toshiya wrapped his arms around Shinya's waist and nestled his face into his hair. Shinya sighed contently, resting his own hands over Toshiya's where his fingers laced together as he held him tight. And for a long moment after that nothing else was ever said or shared between them, nothing but a bond that ran deeper than that of love or friendship that neither of them could quite name.
"What were you thinking about?" mumbled Shinya as the warmth pressed against his back along with the comfort of the bedding was now starting to lull him towards the outskirts of sleep.
Toshiya didn't answer right away mainly because he was also tired, physically and mentally, but with Shinya here like this, he could finally let go of the internal struggle that's been wearing him thin as of late. Some how, he had that affect on him.
Maybe it was because with Shinya, he didn't have to be so regarded, to think about his answers carefully when asked certain questions, or choose words that others would want to hear or so that it could be of interest to them. With Shin-chan he was free.
"Do you ever think about, before...our earlier days with the band..."
Shinya sighed quietly, fingers going to a piece of string he found interest in. Some times he tries not to.
"All the time..." he answered in a soft whisper.
He could feel Toshiya adjust his face that was buried in his hair and after a long pause, Toshiya continued.
"I feel like back then...we had a purpose, something to look forward to..." he muttered in wisps of hot breath that didn't bother the drummer at all. "What is there now, Shin-chan? I feel like I don't know...I feel like...we'll go on forever not knowing..."
And Shinya understood it all too well that it was remarkable how much they thought alike, which was why of all the members of the band Toshiya was the one he found that he could relate to the most. Oh sure he loved them all and did his very best to look after them like a mother hen, but Toshiya, he knew that with Toshiya he would always hold a special place in his heart.
"I know what you mean." said Shinya with a soft squeeze of the bassist's hand.
"So what do you think? how do you change this way of thinking because I do know better Shin-chan I do. It’s just..." Toshiya sighed a rather raggedly. “I can't help it..." he finished and somehow Shinya felt his eyes close behind him.
He half smiled. He wasn't worried because he knew the band hasn't lost its purpose over the years, they simply achieved it without them even knowing it. And as it still remains in their hearts, they'll keep going on forever and ever for it. It’s who they were.
"It isn't lost Totchi..." said Shinya sweetly. "Its still there, our purpose."
"Is it? This road to forever is lonely Shin-chan..."
"It doesn't have to be, Totchi, not when I'm there with you."
"Yeah?"
Shinya peered back over his shoulder at the other's mused expression, laughing softly, and then settling back down. "Yeah...just let it go on foreverif it has to, if you're with me then I don't mind. That's how I think."
He felt the other settle back down, burying his nose back in Shinya's hair again.
He smiled widely, bringing the drummer even closer to him.
He imagined that long road ahead of them; the infinite darkness the long stretches of night sky they'll be seeing like this for God only knows how much longer. And maybe, he’ll never know what continues drive them on this road but it was just like Shinya said, as long as they had each other, then let forever come.
"Yeah..."
Rating: PG
Pairing: slight ToshiyaxShinya (Dir en Grey)
Warning: Fluff, sap?
Summary: on this endless road to nothing, will you stick with me till the end?
All that was left of the mountainous, desert scenery was a bleak infinite of darkness that stretched out far beyond the headlights of the tour bus can penetrate. It was depressing as it was lonely, but at least the stars that stood out ever so brightly cheered him on and allowed him to get lost in the universe in which they hung in forever suspended, like crystals that glimmered on the most precious of velvet materials, suited only for the glamorous like him.
He rubbed his thin and delicate arms, stretching out his legs to work out the cramp that was starting to build from the long ride. The next venue was just beyond these mountains, he was told, and he couldn't wait to reach some form of civilization again. Not that he wasn't grateful for the peace he had to himself now, it was just that the sparkling diamonds in the night sky didn't talk back. Only twinkled lazily, and occasionally sending him a shooting star or two to make him smile in return for their silence.
He sighed and turned to the quiet tour bus. Quiet, messy, tour bus. He voiced his disapproval and got up to perhaps find something he could do to help occupy his time. Sleep obviously wasn't in the equation, so maybe a snack or nice drink, or some other life form in the shape of his band members was awake to keep him company.
But looking around the bus, in the dim lighting that illuminated the place relaxing amber hues, he saw nothing but a big mess of liquor bottles strewn about, Japanese snacks lying open and forgotten, and maybe a guitarist or two passed out somewhere in each corner of the bus.
He went to the first one that was closest to him, slumped over the grounded table with various forms of liquor scattered around his head and arms. He looked for a way to carefully pick up the other and make him more comfortable for sleep without waking him up.
"Oh Die..." he sighed as he positioned the guitarist back against the seat and brought his jacket over him, meanwhile pushing back the thought of the bottles and a potential problem he was hoping the other wasn't developing. Once he got one guitarist settled right, he eyed the other from across, which didn't seem to be in a bad position, but didn't look like he would be engaged in a conversation with him anytime soon.
He could tell even with that notebook perched on the other's face where he was laying back just as still with his arms crossed over his chest. No hope there.
So he moved on, wobbling his way to the end of the bus where the bunks were, taking note of one bunk that had the curtains pulled over, clearly stating 'DO NOT DISTURB.' He stared at it longingly for a brief moment.
Come to think of it, those curtains were pulled shut since the beginning of the tour, he couldn't even remember the last time he had seen their vocalist. Somehow an image of him skipping backstage from a distant memory came to mind, and it was hard to believe that he used to know that person.
So his only hope came in the form of the lower bunk behind him. The lights were on but the lithe body that laid there was turned back to him. There was no way to tell if he was sleeping or not but as a small smile graced his feminine features, he knew that if there was anyone he could count on being a neurotic, it was their bassist.
He planted both hands around a bar to sneak a peak inside and managed a glimpse of the other's face. His brows were drawn together, perfect lips in a frown that rarely ever smiles anymore and his eyes although closed, looked nothing like one slumbering peacefully.
"I thought you would be awake..." whispered Shinya with a soft chuckle.
"What if I wasn't…"
"C'mon, we've been together for how long? You think that I would know you by now."
Toshiya smiled because he was right, and rolled over to face him and at the same time, to make room for Shinya to snuggle in. And Shinya did just that.
He pressed the length of his body back against the bassist's, so that Toshiya wrapped his arms around Shinya's waist and nestled his face into his hair. Shinya sighed contently, resting his own hands over Toshiya's where his fingers laced together as he held him tight. And for a long moment after that nothing else was ever said or shared between them, nothing but a bond that ran deeper than that of love or friendship that neither of them could quite name.
"What were you thinking about?" mumbled Shinya as the warmth pressed against his back along with the comfort of the bedding was now starting to lull him towards the outskirts of sleep.
Toshiya didn't answer right away mainly because he was also tired, physically and mentally, but with Shinya here like this, he could finally let go of the internal struggle that's been wearing him thin as of late. Some how, he had that affect on him.
Maybe it was because with Shinya, he didn't have to be so regarded, to think about his answers carefully when asked certain questions, or choose words that others would want to hear or so that it could be of interest to them. With Shin-chan he was free.
"Do you ever think about, before...our earlier days with the band..."
Shinya sighed quietly, fingers going to a piece of string he found interest in. Some times he tries not to.
"All the time..." he answered in a soft whisper.
He could feel Toshiya adjust his face that was buried in his hair and after a long pause, Toshiya continued.
"I feel like back then...we had a purpose, something to look forward to..." he muttered in wisps of hot breath that didn't bother the drummer at all. "What is there now, Shin-chan? I feel like I don't know...I feel like...we'll go on forever not knowing..."
And Shinya understood it all too well that it was remarkable how much they thought alike, which was why of all the members of the band Toshiya was the one he found that he could relate to the most. Oh sure he loved them all and did his very best to look after them like a mother hen, but Toshiya, he knew that with Toshiya he would always hold a special place in his heart.
"I know what you mean." said Shinya with a soft squeeze of the bassist's hand.
"So what do you think? how do you change this way of thinking because I do know better Shin-chan I do. It’s just..." Toshiya sighed a rather raggedly. “I can't help it..." he finished and somehow Shinya felt his eyes close behind him.
He half smiled. He wasn't worried because he knew the band hasn't lost its purpose over the years, they simply achieved it without them even knowing it. And as it still remains in their hearts, they'll keep going on forever and ever for it. It’s who they were.
"It isn't lost Totchi..." said Shinya sweetly. "Its still there, our purpose."
"Is it? This road to forever is lonely Shin-chan..."
"It doesn't have to be, Totchi, not when I'm there with you."
"Yeah?"
Shinya peered back over his shoulder at the other's mused expression, laughing softly, and then settling back down. "Yeah...just let it go on foreverif it has to, if you're with me then I don't mind. That's how I think."
He felt the other settle back down, burying his nose back in Shinya's hair again.
He smiled widely, bringing the drummer even closer to him.
He imagined that long road ahead of them; the infinite darkness the long stretches of night sky they'll be seeing like this for God only knows how much longer. And maybe, he’ll never know what continues drive them on this road but it was just like Shinya said, as long as they had each other, then let forever come.
"Yeah..."