DWP: Invisible to the eye Part 1

[vicar_dibley]

Title: Invisible to the eye (Sequel to Only with the heart)

Author: vicar_dibley

Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada

Pairing: Andy/Miranda AU

Rating: NC 17

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from The Devil Wears Prada
Author's note: English isn't my first language, this hasn't been beta'd so forgive me. The mistakes (language wise and otherwise) are all mine. Hope you like it:) It was something running around in my head, begging to get out. Comments are welcome!

Summary: It’s an alternative universe. Andy is about 29 and Miranda is 50. They meet by chance, more or less.

1

To say the devil was back full force would have been an understatement and Nigel who knew said devil better than anybody else was wondering why everything had gone so obviously and completely wrong. From his darkened observing post in the hallway outside of Miranda’s office he saw her viciously writing in the Book. It was another late night, one of too many in the last few weeks. He didn’t dare bring up the topic of his friend’s returned state of utter inapproachability and cruelty towards any person that tried to bring up the slightest personal matter. Back was the editor from hell, more cutting and harsher in her judgements than ever before. Gone was the woman who was questioning herself, doubting her ability to run the magazine with an iron fist. Nigel let out a silent sigh because he was torn.

The woman in the office was the Miranda he had known for years just a lot fiercer and wasn’t that what he had wanted all along? But during all those years there had also been something else underneath, a softer side to the woman he felt proud to call his friend. All traces of this other part were gone now, put away and safely kept under lock. Those vivid blue eyes that he had always loved so much were replaced by two chips of eyes. No warmth could be detected in them any more. What saddened Nigel even more was the fact that although Miranda was suffering a great loss she wouldn’t talk about it when he was more than willing to lend an ear. He had always been there for her, a shoulder to cry on.

Now she was refusing his sympathy but on the other hand so was Andy. She was the other friend Nigel was very worried about. Andy too had withdrawn into herself, she was just us much hurting as Miranda about the end of their blossoming relationship and Nigel had no idea what he could do to help her either. Andy had been good for Miranda and vice versa. Those two had a special bond a special understanding. With Andy around Miranda had been lighter, her smile had been more genuine more frequent. Miranda’s whole demeanour changed when in Andy’s presence and he knew for certain that Andy felt safe with Miranda in a way she had with nobody else, not even Dougie. He knew this for certain because shortly before everything went down the drain Andy had called him after the incident in Central Park. She told him how Miranda had come for her and carried her back to the car and had taken care of her. Andy had told him how safe and protected she had felt in Miranda’s arms. So what the hell had happened to blow up what could have been the best thing in both of their lives?

When Miranda turned another page in the Book Nigel was stunned at her reaction. Leaning further over her desk she brought a trembling hand to the page and reverently stroked the image, her eyes full of longing. But what nearly knocked Nigel off his feet was the heartfelt sigh that escaped the white haired woman’s lips.

“Andrea.” It was spoken as if she was her only salvation. Miranda’s voice was filled with love like he had never heard it before. The hand that had been lying on the page flew to her mouth as she covered it to muffle the sob that was forcing itself trough her tightly closed lips. Nigel had to suppress the urge to rush to Miranda’s side and comfort her like he had done so many times before but he knew it wouldn’t be welcome this time. It was as if Miranda was afraid she would reveal too much if she let him too near.

Tears were streaming unhindered down her pale cheeks before she got up from her chair and walked over to her windows. No sound could be heard anymore but in the reflection of the window Nigel could see the tears still falling from her eyes. Miranda did nothing to wipe them away or stop them she just let them flow freely. All the while she kept staring out of the window with unseeing eyes. When he couldn’t take it any longer Nigel left his hidden place to gather his things and go home.

On her way home from the hospital Dr Sylvia Adams thought again about her old friend’s behaviour over the last few weeks. Every time she met her when she collected the twins to spend a weekend with Greg and her Miranda seemed more detached and withdrawn than before. When she had asked the girls about it they had merely shrugged it of as one of their mother’s usual moods. But Sylvia had known Miranda for such a long time to know that something wasn’t quite right with her. The fact that Miranda’s visit to the hospital with Andy had shown her another side of Miranda which was completely new, even to her also pointed towards the possibility that the editor wasn’t just her usual self.

Caroline and Cassidy were spending the week with Greg and her and after having unsuccessfully tried to reach Miranda at home Sylvia knew she would find her at Runway. Pondering her possibilities she found a little detour to Elias-Clarke wasn’t too much. She could afford it for she had the next two days off which meant being even later than she was supposed to be wasn’t such a hardship. Greg and the girls could do dinner without her for once.

Sylvia found a parking spot nearly in front of the building and when she was on her way into the lobby she saw Nigel coming her way from the elevators. Looking up Nigel spotted her as well and smiled as he made his way towards her.

“Sylvia”, Nigel kissed her on both cheeks.

“Hello, Nigel”, the doctor greeted the art director whom she liked a great deal.

“This is quite a surprise”, Nigel smiled at the blonde doctor.

“It is indeed, it was a rather spontaneous decision to be quite frankly”, Sylvia explained. “I suppose Miranda is still in her office?”

“Yes, she is”, Nigel sighed, remembering the look on his old friend’s face before he had turned around and left. “She is doing little else lately but work long hours.”

“Is she all right, Nigel?” The blonde asked worriedly.

Shaking his head Nigel didn’t know how to explain without giving away too much and violating his friendship with Miranda.

“As far as I can tell she is anything but”, the art director stroked over his balding head. “Ever since her friendship or one could say relationship with Andy ended she is anything but all right.”

“I’m sorry to hear that”, Sylvia was more than surprised to hear that. She hadn’t known it was already over before it had even truly begun. They had felt so right together and she had been happy for Miranda. “What happened? They seemed so good together and what was more they felt right.”

“If I only knew”, Nigel shook his head with sorrow. “Neither Miranda nor Andy want to talk about it. But you are right about them and it’s a damn shame it is over.”

“Do you think I should go and talk to her?”

“No. Not now”, Nigel said forcefully. “Now isn’t such a good time, believe me.”

“Okay”, Sylvia knew to trust the man. “Just give me a call when there is anything I can do.”

“I will.”

“Take care, Nigel!” Sylvia turned and went back to her car.

“You too!”

In her upstate New York house Andy wandered aimlessly through the rooms. She was restless and couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried, concentrate on her work. Andy missed Miranda desperately, she missed her voice, her humour, her wit and gentleness. Although Dougie had kept pestering her about being brave enough to tame the dragon Andy knew there had not been much taming involved. Whatever people said about the older woman Andy had known a different Miranda and she missed her terribly. When she had told Miranda she would wait for her she had meant every word of it, she just had not known how hard it would be to be so near to her heart’s desire and yet so far away. Ever since that fateful conversation both of them did everything they could to avoid bumbing into each other by mere accident. Nigel was now responsible for her photo shootings and Andy had refrained from meeting him in his office beforehand.

Dougie was worried about her ever since. He put the blame exclusively on Miranda of course although Andy kept telling him that their break-up was more or less a mutual decision which it really was. Andy understood Miranda’s need to keep her daughters with her even after everything that happened. She knew the editor loved them more than anything else in the world even though she had no idea how to convey this love. Which was a complete mystery to Andy because the older woman had no difficulty whatsoever when it came to showing Andy her love for her. Andy also knew that ever since they had embarked on their friendship Miranda was slowly opening up to her children. She was taking baby steps but Andy had been convinced she was getting there but now everything was ruined. Miranda had been rejected in the most hurtful manner and was retreating back into herself again and the girls were openly hostile of their mother’s choice in a romantic partner.

Miranda softly closed the front door behind her and leaned against the cool metal. She had survived another day as she would survive another weekend without Andrea’s calming presence. The weeks and months since she had to walk away from the younger woman had been utter hell. But Miranda knew how to exist through this like she had all her life. What made it nearly unbearable this time was that she now knew what love felt like, what it could be like to love and to be loved. To care for another and be cared for. She hadn’t been prepared for this all consuming feeling of love she felt for Andrea. With a sigh she pushed away from the door making her way into the kitchen where she knew her housekeeper would have left dinner for her.

Her daughters would spend another weekend with their father and Sylvia, who she had been sure had taken them to their house in the early evening. Which was actually fine with her because her relationship with the girls was back to score one again or even worse. Because try as she might she just couldn’t get herself to forgive them for what they had said and asked her to do. She knew with time she would but it was still too fresh, too raw. Miranda could still feel Andrea’s gentle hands on her face, her lips on her mouth and when she closed her eyes she could still feel her hand running through her hair.

Having the girls over for the weekend was usually joyful but lately Sylvia felt like something was terribly wrong. The way they behaved towards their mother didn’t sit well with her but neither did Miranda’s constant absence when she collected the twins from the townhouse. Neither of them was willing to talk about what was going on so she could only speculate. She was tired of it and now very determined to find out what has happened to make their strained relationship even worse. Greg wasn’t much help in this department because in his opinion Miranda was just a cold fish and that was it. No more explanation necessary. Sylvia knew better though, she had seen this other Miranda and although she had been her friend for a longer time than she was Greg’s wife it had come as an surprise, even to her.

She watched the girls romping through the snow with their father and Patricia. They had fun and acted like normal fourteen year olds but she knew they could be quite callous just like every other teenager. Lashing out at those who they knew could be hurt easily was where they were very good in. And those redheads could be even more vicious and cutting than anybody else she knew, they had learned from the best, after all. Despite everything else Sylvia knew that Miranda loved her daughters. She adored them and had always tried her best when raising them. Her constant struggle for a better understanding between the three of them was the best indication. Everything Miranda did, she did with her daughters in mind. Sylvia knew the only reason she had married that ignorant brick Stephen was because she thought the girls needed a father figure. It had worked out well enough for the girls, they had liked Stephen well enough but for Miranda herself the whole thing was a complete waste of time.

When she had observed Miranda with Andy though everything had fallen into place. Never before had Sylvia seen the editor act so naturally around another adult. Gone was the pretence, her mask of cool indifference. In this examination room was only Miranda the woman, not the editor or fashion icon just Miranda. To be privileged to witness it had been an honour. Andy was right for Miranda it was as if she was the one person Miranda had been waiting for all her life without realising it. To Sylvia it had become clear that very moment she saw them together.

After dinner Sylvia took the bull by the horns and joined the girls in their room where they sat in front of their laptops chatting with friends from school.

“Do you have a moment for me?” The blonde asked when she poked her head around the door.

“Sure.” They closed their computers for the time being and looked expectantly at their stepmother.

Sylvia sat down on Cassidy’s bed and pondered how she could bring up the topic of their mother seeming off lately and the fact that she was worried about her friend. Beating around the bush wouldn’t do so she just cut to the case.

“What is the matter lately between the two of you and Miranda?”

“What do you mean?” Caroline asked carefully.

“You know quite well what I mean, Caro”, Sylvia rolled her eyes at the attempt to play innocent. “I know you two don’t have the best relationship with her but over the last few months it was getting even worse.”

“It’s nothing”, Cassidy tugged with the seam of her shirt, avoiding her stepmother’s prying eyes.

“Spill it”, Sylvia was getting impatient.

“All right but you have to promise you won’t lecture us nor be mad because it was her who acted all weird and started to get even more humiliating to us”, Cassidy rushed out.

“Okay. Tell me what she has done that was so horrible that you barely talk to her anymore and treat her like an outcast.”

“There was this woman in our house who had hurt her feet during a photo shooting, right?”

“Andy, yes, I have treated her in the hospital”, Sylvia nodded in understanding.

“Well”, Caroline took over from her sister, “we found them whispering and holding hands in mother’s study. This woman, Andy, is the woman from the picture in mother’s bedroom.”

“Go on!” Sylvia urged them fearing where this was going to lead already.

“We told mother to make her leave.”

“What else?”

Looking at her sister for help Cassidy nodded in encouragement towards Caroline asking her to continue.

“We told her that we had enough of her actions and that it was her or us.”

“You did what?” Sylvia whispered, not quite believing her ears.

“We asked her if she was having an affair with Andy”, Cassidy explained. “Which she denied but we knew she wanted. And if that was the case we would rather live with you and dad than endure another hunt by the press and be titled the dyke´s twins. After all we have been through because of her we don’t want to take it any longer. So we told her it’s her or us and mother made her decision.”

“I can’t believe you did that”, Sylvia was flabbergasted.

“Although”, Caroline said in a small voice.

“Yes?” Hoping against hope it was not that bad after all.

“We asked her if she fucked Andy, not if they had an affair”, the twin admitted shamefully at least.

“Why? Why did you do this?” Sylvia wanted to understand.

“Because”, Cassidy was agitated now, “with us she never acted the way she acted with Andy. Here she was all gentle, touching, whispering. Mother isn’t like that. And what makes it even worse is that she has this picture of this woman in her bedroom. She sometimes keeps looking at it quite strange and all of a sudden the woman from the picture sits in her study. Being what? Her fuck buddy? After all this years our mother turns out to be gay or what? That’s where we draw the line.”

“You do?” Cassidy nodded emphatically, with her arms crossed over her chest. “You agree with your sister, Caro?”

Glancing at her sister Caroline wasn’t so sure anymore but didn’t dare to defy her twin. She did agree with some of the things her sister had said but not all of them. Their mother had made an effort before they had had their fight over Andy. Caroline had understood it had been small gestures but still had been there. Yes, she had also been hurt that it took another woman for their mother to try and reach out to them and now they were back to the way it was before and even worse. But Cassidy had always been the one to set the pace, so she just nodded in agreement.

“I see”, Sylvia stood to leave. “I just hope that one day your own children won’t ask the same of you.”

When the door closed behind their stepmother Caroline frowned at her sister. Cassidy always dished out judgement without thinking twice. Their mother had to take the brand of it and she willingly did which had puzzled Caroline.

“Why are you always so mad at mother”, Caroline suddenly asked her sister. It was something she always had wanted to know.

“Excuse me? Don’t tell me you were not.” Cassidy spat with venom.

“Yeah but she was trying.”

“Oh, please, for how long? She would have been in another relationship and would forget about us. And what is worse it was because of her that dad left and Stephen had an affair. Get used to it, our mother is exactly what people say she is.”

“I don’t know, Cass”, Caroline sighed as she thought about the way her mother had looked at Andy, the way she had tenderly held her hand and the way she had tried to reach out to them. Carefully and anxious as if she was afraid to get brushed off and that was exactly what happened when she seemed truly happy for the first time in her entire life.

“All right then, go on and be disappointed by her all over again just like we are used to but I for one have enough of that”, Cassidy returned to her computer, not caring what her sister decided because she was convinced that Caroline would do nothing without asking her for advice like she always did.

Taking her computer Caroline left for her own room to think about what she knew to be true about their mother but also the new revelations she had never had thought possible. Sylvia’s words made her also ponder if she hadn’t done her mother a greater injustice than she deserved. She put the laptop in her room and went in search of Sylvia. Caroline found her in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee obviously deep in thought. Clearing her throat softly to gain her stepmother’s attention she smiled shyly when the older woman raised a questioning eyebrow.

“May I speak to you please?” Caroline asked tentatively.

“I’m not sure I’m up to it”, Sylvia admitted honestly.

Caroline could understand that because Sylvia had been her mother’s friend for more than twenty years now and even though she knew of Miranda’s shortcomings she always made it a point to them that despite everything else her mother loved them.

“I’ve been thinking and I believe now that what we asked of her wasn’t right.”

“What made you change your mind all of a sudden?” The blonde asked surprised not quite trusting the redhead’s intentions.

The girl shrugged one shoulder, moved into the room and took a seat across from her stepmother. “I don’t know really, maybe I hope to get to know my mother better. Up until now, just like Cass, I was too tied up in my issues with her that I forgot to realise that she is human too. She tried to change and we pulled the ground from under her feet. We only saw our own hurt feelings never giving a damn about hers.”

“Wow”, Sylvia was stunned by the insight from the fourteen year old. “That’s quite right.”

“Yeah, well”, Caroline scratched her neck embarrassedly. “Could you, you know, help me to get to know my mother?”

“What about Cass? What will she think?”

“For once, I don’t really care”, Caroline said defiantly, “it’s probably time to become an individual. More than just my sister’s appendage.”

“Fair enough”, Sylvia agreed. “What would you like to do?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought that far. But how about talking to Andy first. Finding out about her intentions, you know.”

“Interesting thought, sweetie”, Sylvia smiled at the redhead. “But I have no idea where she lives.”

“Oh.” Caroline was disappointed when Sylvia suddenly raised her head as an idea struck her.

“Although I might know somebody who does. Hang on I’ll be back in a moment. While I’m on the phone you might think about what to say to her.”

Convincing Nigel of giving her Andy’s home address wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. Only after she had made it clear that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt the younger woman did he agree to give it to her.

“Alright, let’s go”, Sylvia returned to the kitchen where she found Caroline deep in thought.

“Now?” The girl asked with a glance at the clock on the wall behind her.

“No time like the present, right. I told your father we are going for a ride, do the bonding thing. Which we do actually, come to think of it.”

“Right. Okay.”

They drove in silence but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, on the contrary. It was much like    when Caroline was in the car with her mother. She knew her sister couldn’t stand the silence, it made her restless that’s why she constantly needed her computer or ipod to drown it out. Caroline though liked it quite well, she could think better that way and she suspected so could her mother. More often than not would she use the time to observe her mother working on the Book or just gaze out the window deep in thought.

“We are here.” Sylvia’s voice startled Caroline from her musings.

“Let’s go then.”

Together they climbed the stairs to the front door where Caroline pushed the chime with a confidence she didn’t really feel. From inside they heard the barking of a dog before a woman’s voice ordered it to stop fussing causing both visitors to smile at the choice of words.

“Who is it?” Andy asked through the closed door.

“It’s Dr Adams, Andy and one of Miranda’s daughters. May we come in?” Sylvia called out.

They heard the latch being pulled back before the door was opened and Andy stood in the doorway. “Before I ask you in though I would like to know what to expect. Are you coming in peace or will this turn into another judgement day?”

“I apologise for that”, Caroline said softly.

“I’m not the one you should apologise to”, Andy smiled ruefully.

“I know and I will, I promise but may I talk to you first?”

“Come in”, Andy stepped away from the door and let the pair in. She led them into the living room, with an excited dog hot on their heels. Gesturing toward the couch Andy took a seat in one of the wing chairs opposite it, waiting for the girl to say for what she had come for.

“I am Caroline by the way”, the redhead introduced herself.

“Hello Caroline”, Andy felt a smile tug at her lips.

“And I honestly believe I owe you an apology for asking mother to more or less throw you out of the house.” Hearing Sylvia’s sharp intake of breath the girl hung her head in shame. She wasn’t proud how they had handled things back then but it was her intention to make things right now.

“Accepted. What is it you want to talk about, Caroline?” Andy asked with curiosity.

There was no other way to ask this and she knew she appreciated straight forwardness just like her mother so she simply cut to the chase.

“Do you love my mother? I mean really love her?”

“Caroline are you really sure you want to hear this”, Andy sighed, knowing what the girls had thrown at Miranda after she had left.

“Please?”

“All right”, Andy finally conceded, “yes, I do love your mother more than I can tell.”

“And she loves you as well, doesn’t she?” The girl asked although she knew the answer.

“She does but more than anything else she loves you and your sister”, Andy said with a real smile.

“Which was why she made the biggest mistake of her entire life.”

“Which would be?”

“She let you go, did she not? Just to do as we asked her or rather ordered her to do by our ultimatum”, Caroline said sadly.

“I wouldn’t have expected her to do anything less”, Andy agreed thoughtfully. “Because that makes her the woman she is and why I love her very deeply.”

“I have been thinking, you know.”

“About?”

“I want to get to know my mother. The woman that was talking softly to you and holding your hand  in her study all the while glowing with happiness”, Caroline confessed shyly.

Upon hearing those honest words Andy leaned forward in her chair holding out her hand for Caroline to take it. “I’m sure nothing would make your mother happier.”

“I can think at least of one thing though”, Caroline replied with a smirk, giving Andy’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Being reminded of the lateness of the hour by Sylvia they parted ways as friends, Caroline realising why her mother had fallen in love with the very beautiful younger woman. Although Andy was blind, the girl knew that the brunette saw more than most people did who weren’t blind themselves. The only thing left to do before she spoke to her mother was to convince her sister that Andy was the right person for their mother and with Andy in all their lives they could have the relationship with their mother they always longed for.

Caroline pleaded Andy’s and her mother’s case with her sister but unfortunately Cassidy wouldn’t budge from her opinion. After a long night of trying to convince her sister, Caroline finally gave up and returned to her room with a sad sigh. Cassidy had even decided to stay with their father until next weekend and knowing her mother, she knew she wouldn’t fight Cass on this. She might have before Andy but now she would just give in because she was too afraid to lose her daughters completely. So when it was time to return it was her and Sylvia who had called Miranda in advance to inform her of Cassidy’s decision to stay. Like Caroline had thought her mother accepted it without so much as another word.

TBC Part 2