DWP: Invisible to the eye Part 2
Part 2
Caroline said goodbye to her stepmother in the car, she wanted to speak to her mother alone and Sylvia had understood. When she entered the too quiet and nearly dark house she saw light in her mother´s study. The place where she was usually found lately when she was at home. Putting down her backbag at the bottom of the staircase the redhead walked towards her mother´s study expecting to find her behind her desk pouring over the Book or some layouts. What Caroline found though encouraged her in her plans to bring her mother and Andy back together again. Unnoticed by the white haired woman Caroline stood in the doorway to the study observing her mother as if she saw her for the first time. And maybe she did.
Her mother sat on the small couch in her study, in her left hand she held what seemed like an untouched glass of whiskey, her eyes were blankly staring to the opposite wall and tears were running unchecked down her pale cheeks. Never before in her entire life had Caroline seen her mother like this and she never wanted to see her like this again. Lost, defeated, hurting. Clearing her throat gently to give her mother time to find her equilibrium again Caroline slowly entered the study. Brushing furiously at her tears Miranda forced back her impenetrable mask of indifference when she saw her daughter coming her way and joining her on the couch.
“Hello, mom”, Caroline greeted her mother with a shy smile.
“Hello”, Miranda was slightly surprised, neither of her daughters had called her mom for more than four years. “I didn´t expect you so early.”
“I know”, the redhead agreed. “Do you mind?”
“Not in the least”, Miranda was actually glad that at least one of her girls had decided to stay with her again. “Your sister preferred to stay at you father´s.”
“Yeah, she is mad with me”, Caroline nodded.
“How so?”
Turning to her mother Caroline looked deep into her mother´s eyes, those pools of blue had always fascinated her. Right now though she didn´t like what she found in them and she liked it even less that she was one of the people who put it there. Tentatively she reached out her hand and placed it gently against her mother´s cheek, relieved when the older woman did neither flinch nor withdraw from the touch but closed her eyes in order to keep her tears in check.
“I am so sorry, mom”, Caroline whispered. Watching as a single tear escaped its prison and made its way down a smooth cheek. The girl leaned forward and embraced her mother tightly, with her head on Miranda´s shoulder she inhaled her mother´s familiar scent. “We had no right to ask from you what we did. And I´m even more sorry for the awful things we said. Please, mom, please forgive me.”
“Of course I forgive you, you are my daughter”, Miranda reassured the teenager.
“Thank you”, Caroline drew back from the embrace to look at her mother whose eyes seemed a little less sad.
“There is no need to. But can you tell me what brought this on? Is this the reason why your sister is mad at you?”
“Sort of”, the redhead admitted. “We were talking to Sylvia about what we did but I had been thinking about it even before.”
“And?”
“And I asked Sylvia to take me to Andy to apologise and talk to her.”
Now Miranda was really surprised. What had gotten into her daughter to pull a stunt like that? But she was ready to hear her out before she said or did anything to aggravate their slowly mending relationship again.
“Go on, Caroline! What did you say to Andrea?” Miranda was intrigued.
Caroline told her mother every little detail about her visit to Andy´s house. Neither of the things Andrea had said surprised the older woman. She knew that was what the younger woman would say. Which made her love her even more. Andrea understood her in a way nobody else ever had.
“You love her too, don´t you?” The girl finally asked. When Miranda wouldn´t answer straight away Caroline feared she had asked the wrong question. “Mom, it´s all right if you don´t want...”
“No”, the white haired woman answered hoarsely. “I... yes, yes I do love her. Very much so. I am truly, completely, head over heels in love with her.”
“Then you should go for it”, Caroline implored. “Wait, before you brush it of listen to me. When you became friends with Andy you were different and I liked it. I thought I might be able to get to know you but then we found out you and her were lovers or were going to and it caught us on the wrong foot.”
Listening to her daughter Miranda secretly wondered when she had become so grown up and wise. She wasn´t even sure she deserved such a wonderful girl. After all, she hadn´t been much of a mother.
“What does your sister have to say about it?” Miranda asked, fearing the answer.
“She doesn´t agree, no surprise there.” Caroline shrugged. “But no matter what you do she would still be mad at you. Cass is hurting and she wants to hurt you as well, no matter what it takes.”
“How can I even think about my own happiness when your sister feels like that?”
“Because you deserve to be happy and I know Andy makes you happy. So please, mom, I know you want us both here with you but let me be enough for now. Maybe Cass will come around sooner or later.”
“And what if she does not?” The editor asked with trepidation.
“It will be her loss. I love her, she is my sister but Cass has been angry for so long at everyone and nobody in particular that I believe she doesn´t even know any more why she is so angry”, Caroline tried to explain her twin´s behaviour.
Holding her arms out for her daughter, Miranda was overcome with joy when the redhead fell into them and snuggled into her embrace. “You must help me with being happy, just like Andrea.”
“I promise, I will mom”, Caroline vowed.
They huddled together on the couch, mother and daughter content to have found a mutual understanding and ground to communicate on. Caroline asked all kinds of questions about Andrea, how they had met and what it was that had drawn her mother to the brunette. Knowing full well that Andrea was indeed the woman in the picture in her mother´s bedroom.
“Does she know about the picture?” Caroline wanted to know, her head on Miranda´s shoulder and her arm draped over her middle. It was never too late for enjoying such nearness and she would give a damn what anybody else thought of her snuggling with her mother at the mature age of fourteen.
“No”, Miranda laughed softly, “I wasn´t brave enough. I was too afraid she might think I am weird if she knew.”
“But you didn´t know who she was.”
“That is true but I have to tell her that I was in love with a picture of her for nearly ten years”, the editor admitted ruefully.
“All the more reason to get her back and tell her”, her daughter urged.
“Maybe you are right.”
When mother and daughter finally called it a night Caroline shyly asked her mother if she would be allowed to spend the night in her room. Miranda, although completely caught off guard by the question, agreed readily. They hadn´t done such a thing since the girls were little and she was more than happy to establish a comfortable relationship with her girl to make such things happen again. Where it would be easy for both of them to enjoy their closeness and trust each other again.
Showered and changed into her pjs Caroline settled into her mother´s bed, waiting for the older woman to emerge from her bathroom. With her hands behind her head Caroline studied the picture of Andy on the wall. The brunette was even more beautiful in reality, there was a certain warmth and calmness about her that called to you. One could sense it even in the picture, no wonder her mother had fallen in love with her before she even knew her. The bathroom door opened and her mother turned off the light to join her in bed.
“Are you comfortable?” Miranda asked, lying on her side with her head in her hand.
“Very. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Does it bother you that Andy is blind?”
“No. Why should it?” Miranda remembered the time in Central Park when she was worried out of her mind but never once had the fact bothered her.
“Just asking. Good night, mom.” Caroline kissed her mother´s cheek before she snuggled under the covers with a content sigh.
“Good night, darling”, Miranda said softly with a smile, turning off the lamp on her bedside table and following her daughter into a peaceful sleep.
TBC Part 3