Ficcy fic
Title: C’est la vie… ou un rêve?
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Characters: Kaoru
Prompts: 089. Allucinate, 079. Lunatic
Word Count: 1159
Rating: PG for some swearing
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine, but the story below is.
89. Allucinate, 89. Lunatic
Kaoru didn’t know if to laugh, cry, or simply accept the fact that maybe she had suddenly been thrown into the twilight zone.
She needed to complain to someone. That someone was supposed to be Misao. But no, oh no, she had to be on vacation time with her beloved Aoshi. What the eff? Hadn’t she just spent a week in Hokkaido with him?
Instead, Kaoru Kamiya, soon to achieve sainthood-she really think she deserved it after this-, was sitting on Sanosuke Sagara’s couch talking about her former love interest, her current pretend-love-interest (not by choice), and the interest her former love interest had on pretend-love-interest such that he was calling and asking about him with subtlety (not).
“I don’t get it! He’s with her! With her! So why is he calling me at night every other night to ask me how I am, how Kamatari is, and whether or not Kamatari is at my place, what we’re doing, eating, breathing… I don’t know!” Kaoru breathed as she held Sano’s shoulders and began to shake him slightly.
With wide-open blue eyes, tight lips, and bangs in disarray, she looked down right scary and like a lunatic.
“Missy…” Sano began to cringe, but was interrupted by the woman’s frantic dialogue-or monologue.
“It started right after the picnic… your damn picnic!” Kaoru accused as she directed a glare to the now scared man. “Why did you have to invite Kamatari too?! Why?!”
“Erhm… Kao…”
“He called on Tuesday night asking if I was alright, if I had liked the picnic. Then he asked if Kamatari liked everyone, if he felt comfortable with the gang. I thought, ‘oh well, how nice of him. Maybe we could really establish a good friendship,’ right? I mean, some couples do become friends after breaking up, right?” Kaoru asked, not really looking for an answer as she continued her rant.
“After some random chit-chat he hanged up. I thought it was both weird and cute-that he cared. But no, he had to call on Thursday, and then Sunday, and then Tuesday, and today again! I think by now he knows Kamatari likes green like I do, that he had his wisdom teeth taken out at 26, that he loves onigiri but dislikes soba, that his favorite junk food is pizza, that he is a quarter German; that we both went skinny dipping when we were 17… oh Lord! I can’t believe I told him that!”
Kaoru didn’t notice, but Sano was seriously considering if jumping out of the window behind him was an option. It was just seven floors, not that bad. Granted, he may end up with some broken bones, but nothing his sturdy body couldn’t handle. It was that or to try to calm a woman who had clearly lost it the moment she entered his apartment-or maybe before it? Well, he had definitely heard the clear screeching noise of some breaks being used at their fullest. He wouldn’t be surprised it was Kaoru parking in front of his building.
“… and then Kenshin asked me if I saw myself getting married with Kam, if I could picture our children together. Then he started saying that I should be careful, that even if Kam was my friend since forever I should be careful because I hadn’t constantly seen him for years…”
“Kaoru.” Alright, he would try catching her attention one more time. Breaking some bones was painful after all.
“… Then he asked me if my mother liked Kamatari. Of course she likes him! His mother is my mom’s best friend!”
“Kaoru, sweet…”
“… And he said if we could all-that meaning me, Kam, his girlfriend and him-have dinner together some day. Couple’s date he said. I mean, we just broke up and he found another girl. What the fuck!...”
“Kaoru?” His friend had just sworn. While she was not a potty mouth, she didn’t just throw that kind of words at any time. Sano thought that perhaps jumping out of the window was a better idea.
“… Why me, Sano. Why?! Wasn’t it enough that he broke my heart? Now he wants to torment me! Not only him, but Kamatari too! How could he do that? How could he pretend he’s in love with me? He’s likes men!”
“Kaoru!” The little shout startled Kaoru for a millisecond but she was set on continue her babbling. Nonetheless, she did turn to look at her friend. If he had to yell, it had to be important. Well, maybe. Well, sometimes if it was Sano.
“Yes?” She asked innocently and quietly-as if she hadn’t spent the last half hour ranting and shaking her friend’s shoulders and head.
“Calm down.” Sano said, and when he saw that Kaoru was about to start a new set of rants-but this time due to his request-he immediately added, “Think about it. If Kenshin is basically phone-stalking you, there must be a reason.”
Kaoru considered this for a few seconds before she frowned.
“To make my life a living hell?”
Seriously? And then everyone called him an idiot. How could Kaoru be so blind-or naïve. So much for being a lawyer, or a law assistant professor.
“No, Kao dear. Perhaps he still has some feelings for you and is… how to put this… unconsciously jealous?”
Kaoru blinked once, twice, and then started laughing.
“Hey! I’m serious! I guarantee you! He’s freaking jealous!”
When her laughter stopped and she wiped some tears from her eyes, Kaoru said in a mocking tone, “Come on, Sano. How can he be jealous if he’s the one-the one-who decided to break things up with me? How did he put it? That we, perhaps, weren’t meant to be and that he needed to try things out again with his ex.”
Kaoru’s left eyebrow rose and Sano sighed.
“I’m sure, Kao. You just don’t see it.”
“Whatever, Sano.” Kaoru shrugged and went to search for her cellphone when a ding was heard. She began to hyperventilate just like she had when she had entered Sano’s apartment.
“Shit. I have a meeting with my research assistant! How could I forget? Oh my God, I have seventeen minutes to get across town. See what this is doing to me? Do you see it? Why isn’t Misao here? She could understand me!”
“Hey!” Sano cried in indignation.
“Sorry Sano. You’re great but don’t listen well. Gotta go. Thanks!”
And with that, frantic Kaoru Kamiya left Sanosuke Sagara’s apartment.
Sano looked both confused and offended.
He dropped his head on his knees.
“I can’t believe what just happened,” was all he could murmur. He sat up and looked at the door his friend had just closed. “I thought Megumi was bad after a terrible day, but Kaoru is simply terrifying.”
He really-really-didn’t want a repeat of this afternoon. He had to talk to Kenshin, and soon.