Comments | vicentina: (без темы)

vicentina

(Untitled)

Aug 01, 2006 11:42

I know this has been working for Del, so I'm going to give it a shot as well. I would appreciate productive critiques on this because I'd really like to get the ball rolling on this novel. I've been working it and re-working it for more than 10 years now, and because I'm such a perfectionist with my work, I'm never convinced its good enough ( Read more... )

original, writing, vicenza

Comments 7

princesspeanut August 1 2006, 13:36:57 UTC

Construstive Critisim ( ... )

vicentina August 1 2006, 13:57:54 UTC

"He was your grandfather too" *snicker*

Ah, those wonderful colledge days of reading Mercedes Lackey to you while your RP'd your happy heart away to VTM :P What a team...

Thanks chica, I appreciate the comment. I've always kinda toyed with the having the prologue at all, it kinda reminds me of the beginning sequence of a TV show, setting up some of the story and setting...but it has never flown that well. I'll play some more :)

princesspeanut August 1 2006, 14:33:21 UTC

Not necessarily dialouge, but something... anything...that makes us CARE or wonder. If you start with say.. the second to last paragraph in the first position, we'd immediatly want to know, who she is, why is she on the wall, and what made her fall?

phoenix1701 August 2 2006, 01:36:55 UTC

I agree wholeheartedly with Erica. It's good. REALLY good, actually. But waiting four whole paragraphs to introduce the first character makes it hard to get a feel for whose perspective we're supposed to be taking here, whose eyes we're looking through. Not too hard to fix though, and the rest is absolutely beautiful.

By the way, I just got finished re-reading pretty much every Lackey book I could get my hands on... as you might guess, you were on my mind a lot. :)

vicentina August 2 2006, 06:09:12 UTC

How weird is that, you've been on my mind recently too :) GMTA, huh Brian?

How's school going for you? I'm actually starting my Master's as well, I FINALLY found a program online to do my Master's in History. Classes start in one week and I'm pulling off the proverbial bandaid first, Historiography *thunder and lightening*

Thanks for the imput too! Like I mentioned to Erica, I've toyed with taking it out. We'll see, I'll shuffle some paragraphs and see if I can't come up with something more attention grabbing.

phoenix1701 August 2 2006, 14:55:53 UTC

School is managing to take up even more of my time than I'm accustomed to, and I'm working 40 hours a week on top of it in a vain attempt to pay for it before my loans gain sentience and come after me, but it'll be over in a year. ;) I'm not sure what historiography is, but it has enough syllables to be daunting... good luck! :) Let me know next time you're in the States, by the way!

Brian

vicentina August 2 2006, 15:04:51 UTC

Historiography is the study of how historians write history *waits for the snoring to stop* Yeah...it's pretty heavy and dry, but might as well get it over with. Plus I'm a little daunted after my undergrade historiography class experience (which I may or may not have recounted) so wish me luck ( ... )