The Dark Lord is not a forgiving master

[thesnapelyone]

Pain flared through every centimetre, every cell in Severus' body. He writhed on the cold stone floor, clenching his jaw and unable to open his mouth lest he give in to screaming, even though he knew he'd just taken a chunk out of his lip. His throat hurt from the muscles clenching so tightly shut, but he didn't scream. His eyes burned, but he didn't cry.

Severus tried to stay straight, but eventually the pain stole his resolve, and he rolled over, tucking his arms and his knees to his chest, trying to get pressure against his gut in the hopes that it would stop his stomach from cramping. He curled his hands into fists to keep from tearing at his own flesh, knowing that despite the urge, that wouldn't escape the pain.

He wanted to die. He would have begged for death, if he could have opened his throat. Anything was better than this pain. Anything was better than knowing it wasn't the last time he'd feel it.

And then it stopped, abruptly as it had begun. There was a moment, a horrible moment without any pain whatsoever, and then the tremors started, relaxing his muscles, but bringing a new, burning pain. Severus released his bloody lip, his mouth gaping open because he'd completely lost the strength to keep it closed, and hoped he wasn't drooling on the Dark Lord's shoes.

"I am disappointed, Severus."

I got that impression.

"You were ordered to obtain the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."

I know.

"You failed in this."

Quite spectacularly.

Footsteps began. Severus realised that he had his eyes shut, and wondered when that had happened. He didn't want to open them, though. He had a feeling that the dim light from the room would hurt them now. The footsteps were travelling away, that was all that mattered.

"And then you had the audacity to suggest that perhaps I needed a new plan?"

Yes, that had been stupid.

"Perhaps. I needed. A new plan."

Severus winced, rolling over onto his stomach as best he could manage, though he couldn't imagine what actual defense it provided, if the Dark Lord wanted to Crucio him again.

"You are aware now that this was the wrong thing to say, aren't you, Severus?"

There was no way Severus could respond. He nodded as best he could instead.

"And all doubts as to the merit of my plan have been erased?"

Severus nodded harder, shivering.

"So then." The footsteps stopped. "What is it you intend to do?"

Severus panicked a moment, unsure that he could speak, but after clearing his throat very carefully, he managed sound. "Accept the position of Potions professor," he rasped, wincing as his throat stung from the effort.

"Good. Now get out of my sight."

Severus didn't care if he did splinch himself. He was willing to take any risk to follow that order as quickly as possible. He Disapparated.

There was an un-liscensed Floo connection the Death Eaters used in Knockturn. Severus Apparated in, huddled on a different stone floor. It was several minutes before he could manage the effort to get at the Floo powder and speak his destination.

He threw himself into the green flames, every muscle in his body protesting, and tumbled out into the Hogwarts infirmary.

Poppy Pomfrey had been rolling bandages and listening to the WWN. When her fire flared green, she left her bandages and stood, wondering which Order member would be showing up. She stared in dismay as it proved to be Severus.

"Severus!" she exclaimed, bustling over to him. "Severus, what has happened?"

Severus shivered and sneezed and crawled out of the grate. "Cruciatus," he croaked, squeezing his eyes shut once he saw her familiar image. Safe. He was safe now.

"My poor boy," she said, and flicked her wand to levitate him to a bed. "You are safe now. I'll give you a pain potion, then summon Dumbledore." She selected a strong pain potion as she spoke and carried it to him. "Shall I call for Remus, as well?" She held the vial to his lips.

Severus drank greedily, the potion soothing his raw throat. "Yes, Remus," he agreed when he came up for air, gasping.

Poppy nodded and flicked her wand, which sent a nebulous silvery form darting away from them. Then she went to kneel at the fire and threw in a handful of powder. "Remus Lupin, I need you in the Hogwarts Infirmary." She repeated it several times, but she was still kneeling before the fire, unanswered, when the Infirmary door swung open and Dumbledore was standing there.

"Severus," he said, looking concerned. "Poppy, what happened?"

"He is likely capable of telling you himself," she replied tartly. "I am still trying to get Remus here."

Severus' nose was running. Feeling miserable suddenly, and much warmer than he'd been, he wiped his nose on his sleeve and ignored Dumbledore's gaze, his eyes on the fireplace. Where was Remus? He couldn't remember where Remus was supposed to be, if not at home.

"Severus?" Dumbledore crossed the room to stand by his bed, looking down at him anxiously.

Severus glanced up at Dumbledore, wanting to ignore him, though he didn't suppose the Headmaster would let him. "Cruciatus," he uttered hoarsely.

Dumbledore's gaze sharpened. "What happened?" he demanded.

Poppy made an impatient noise. "Can't you leave the boy be for a while, Headmaster?" she demanded. "He needs time for the potions to take effect. Not to mention he should be able to have Remus here."

At that moment the green-tinged fire emitted the sound of a door closing. Poppy turned her attention back to the flames. "Remus? Remus Lupin, I need you in the Hogwarts infirmary."

There were quick footsteps, then Remus' head appeared. "Poppy? I'll be right there!"

She stood and stepped away from the fire. A few moments later Remus' form appeared, whirling to a stop, and he stepped out of the fireplace, looking around. "Is Severus hurt? Where is he?"

Severus had been quite strong about the whole thing, he thought, but suddenly now, when he saw Remus, he wanted to fall apart. "M'fine," he muttered, crossing his arms under his chin and peering out over them at Remus.

"Severus!" Remus was moving before he'd finished exclaiming his lover's name, and he reached the bedside a moment later. He knelt down to be at eye-level with Severus, leaning so close their foreheads nearly touched. "What happened?" he asked softly.

Severus blinked hard against the stinging in his eyes. "Cruciatus," he repeated.

Remus growled quietly and pressed a light kiss against Severus' lips, then pulled away, not wanting to hurt Severus further.

"I am certain Severus could use some tea and broth," Poppy informed Dumbledore, glaring at him. "And he will be needing more potions before he is capable of either reporting to you or going home."

"Yes, of course," Dumbledore said, his gaze never leaving the two young men in front of him. "I shall see to refreshment for him." He left the room.

Severus reached out a trembling hand to brush against Remus' hair. He was still in pain, but he was less concerned now with pain potions than he was with the desire to seek comfort.

"My poor Severus," Remus murmured, watching him. "What can I do?"

Severus wanted to be held, but he knew it would only hurt worse and he wouldn't suggest it in front of Poppy anyway. "Stay here."

"Of course," Remus said. "Of course. I won't go anywhere."

Poppy came to stand by the bed, resting one hand lightly on Remus' shoulder. "Another potion," she said, handing it down to Remus. "A muscle relaxant, for the spasms."

Remus held it to Severus' lips, his other hand stroking his lover's hair.

Severus knew how tense he still was, even without the spasming, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he drank the potion, comforted by the hand on his hair. He was so grateful that he'd managed to make it here.

Poppy nodded in satisfaction and took the bottle back from Remus, going to the cabinet to replace it.

"I love you," Remus breathed, softly enough that he didn't think Poppy would hear, though he only cared because he didn't want to embarrass Severus. "I'll tell Dumbledore he can wait until tomorrow for his report."

Severus nodded because he didn't really have much to report, anyway. He'd told the Dark Lord what had happened, made a bloody stupid remark, and paid for it.

Dumbledore returned shortly after that, bearing a tray that held dishes from the kitchens. He set the tray on a bedside table and glanced at Poppy. She simply shrugged, content to let Remus deal with it, as long as he showed no signs of backing down.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Remus said. "I would appreciate some privacy. Severus will convey his report tomorrow. He's in far too much discomfort tonight."

Dumbledore looked surprised. "Remus, I am sure Severus knows that time is often of the essence when making these reports."

"Not this one," Remus said stubbornly.

"Remus--"

"Dumbledore, I'm afraid Remus is quite right," Poppy interrupted. "Severus has already been through Hell tonight. You simply cannot importune him any longer."

Severus tensed, wondering if Dumbledore would back down, and afraid of having to give a report if he didn't. He watched Remus with quiet desperation, trembling again.

Remus growled softly at the expression on Severus' face, and he stroked his hand over Severus' hair and glared at Dumbledore.

"Very well, Poppy," the Headmaster said, not looking at Remus, though he had tensed slightly at the low but audible growl. "I shall, of course, bow to your experience."

Poppy snorted and shooed Dumbledore out of the room, then turned and gave them an ironic look. "I shall be in my office if you need anything. There's a trashy romance novel calling my name."

Remus' attention left Severus long enough to gawp at her for a moment, then he turned back to Severus.

"Pain potion's kicking in," Severus murmured, relaxing as he felt the potions moving through his system, bringing him relief. "Mmm, thank you."

"Oh, good," Remus said, leaning in to kiss him again gently.

Severus managed a smile for him, reaching out to take a hand in his own. "Thank Merlin you came."

"Of course I came. Can I help somehow?" Remus asked, curling his fingers gently around Severus'.

"Lie with me?" Severus asked, wanting to be able to snuggle up against his lover and forget about what had happened.

Remus nodded and climbed onto the bed with him, wrapping his arms around him. At least Poppy had chosen a bed that was far from the Infirmary door. He lifted his head, tucking Severus' head under his chin.

Severus relaxed and closed his eyes, feeling safe and secure. Remus would protect him.

"Severus," Remus murmured, "love you." He hummed softly. "I'll stay right here."

"Love you," Severus murmured. He was soon asleep.

Remus breathed more easily when he felt Severus relaxing against him. He kept his eyes open, unwilling to fall asleep in case Poppy needed the Infirmary. After a long while, she came out of her office and approached. She'd taken her shoes off, he noticed, which somehow made her seem less like the Hogwarts matron and more like a real person.

"He's asleep, good," she said softly. She frowned. "Whatever happened, I blame Dumbledore. You lads do so much."

"I blame him, too," Remus whispered. "Do you know what happened?"

She shook her head. "Just that he was Crucioed. I'll make certain you have tea and breakfast early in the morning."

Remus smiled faintly. "Thanks, Poppy."

"Of course, dear boy." She brushed a hand over his hair affectionately, then went back into her office, turning off the lights in the main ward.

Eventually Remus dropped into a light doze, though he woke several times to make certain Severus was all right.

Severus woke sometime in the night, with no idea for the hour but dying of thirst. He shifted carefully in Remus' arms until he was faced the other way, looking for a light on in Poppy's office, but there was none. After his eyes adjusted to the dark, he noticed the tray on a bedside table and found and drank the water and most of the broth, even though it had long since gone cold.

He settled back down in Remus' arms and felt his lover shift against him, glancing up to meet open eyes reflecting what little light came in through the windows across the room. "R'mus," he uttered faintly, closing his eyes again.

"How're you feeling?" Remus asked, stroking Severus' hair softly.

"Better," Severus uttered, snuggling close again. He was so glad Remus was here. "Usually it's not so bad." Usually he could manage to patch himself up out of a round of Crucio, but the Dark Lord had been very angry with him.

"I was so afraid when I saw Poppy in the fire," Remus murmured. He nuzzled Severus. "I'm glad you're all right."

"Yeah, m'fine, wasn't all that serious." He was feeling sleepy again.

"Nnh, love you," Remus said. He kissed Severus' temple. "Get some sleep, Severus."

"Yeah, sleep," Severus managed, and drifted back to sleep.

Remus smiled and curled against him.

The next time Severus woke, it was morning (judging by the brightness of the room), and he was alone in his cot. He blinked, wondering where Remus had gone, and realised that he could hear low-pitched arguing coming from across the room.

"He's still sleeping!" Remus was glaring at the Headmaster, who had protested being stopped by Poppy. "I don't want him disturbed! He'll wake on his own."

"Remus, my boy, his report could very well be vital--"

"If it had been, he would've said so. Why don't we let Poppy talk?"

"I do think it best if he wake on his own, Headmaster. He had a difficult night, and the muscle relaxant potion and pain potion are really to allow his body to heal itself. Remus is right."

"Very well, I shall send the House-elves with breakfast." Dumbledore sounded rather disgruntled as he walked away.

Severus then became aware of the pain in his head, and the fact that he was apparently incredibly cranky. "Remus. Come over here," he called.

Remus twitched when he heard his name, then hurried over to Severus' bed. "Hi," he murmured, leaning down to kiss him. "How do you feel?"

Severus made a little irritated growling noise and wound a hand into Remus' shirt. "I have a headache."

"Aww. I'll get Poppy." Remus kissed Severus again, but he didn't go anywhere, since Severus had hold of his shirt.

Severus glared at nothing and released Remus' shirt.

"Love you," Remus whispered, brushing his hand over Severus' hair. He looked over his shoulder and found that Poppy had followed him in.

"Severus, how are you feeling?" she asked, coming over to press her fingers against his forehead and take his pulse.

"Headache," Severus growled, irritated by being touched.

"I'll get you a pain potion," she said, matching actions to words. When she returned, she handed him a small vial. "Dumbledore will likely be back to talk with you soon," she said.

Severus gulped down the pain potion, scowling at Dumbledore's mention. "I don't want to talk to him."

Poppy frowned at him. "I don't think you have much choice, young man," she said. "You ought to be grateful your one kept Dumbledore from questioning you while you felt truly horrid."

"Never have a choice," Severus muttered sullenly, rolling onto his stomach and staring at the floor.

Remus held in a sigh, but he gestured for Poppy to go away. She rolled her eyes, but went. Remus climbed back in bed with Severus, pressing lightly against his back.

"Love you," he murmured, nuzzling the back of Severus' neck. "How are you besides the headache?"

Severus relaxed, feeling better for having Remus there. "Glad you're here. Don't want to be here. Let's just leave."

"Mmm, don't you need to talk to Dumbledore?" Remus kissed Severus' neck. "I don't even know what happened."

"Nothing happened, I mean, nothing about anything. Just reported to the Dark Lord and got Crucioed." Severus frowned, though he enjoyed the lips on his neck. He felt himself relaxing more.

Remus growled softly. "I hate him," he murmured, kissing Severus' neck again. "Want to protect you."

Severus whimpered, pleased with Remus' behaviour. "Love you," he uttered softly, feeling the urge to be claimed and wishing they were completely alone.

"My Severus," Remus breathed, sliding his arms around Severus and holding him close.

Severus let his eyes close, feeling secure in Remus' arms.

"Potion kicking in?" Remus asked softly, nuzzling Severus' ear.

"Oh yeah, I drank a potion, dinnt I?" Severus muttered, slipping an arm underneath Remus' and running a hand up his bicep.

"Mmhmm." Remus kissed him, amused. "Feeling better?"

"You make me feel better," Severus said. "Wish I was home in bed with you."

"Mm. Soon." Remus nuzzled him again. "Soon's you talk to Dumbledore, we can go home. Poppy said so."

Severus growled. "Where's the prat? Dun wanna talk to him."

"Shh," Remus said, amused. "I don't blame you, but he does need to know why you got Crucioed, I think."

"Dark Lord doesn't need a reason," Severus muttered.

"Just talk to him so we can go home and I can take you to bed," Remus suggested, kissing Severus' ear.

"Fine, fine," Severus muttered, though he really didn't think he had the energy to move, let alone go find Dumbledore and speak to him in complete sentences.

Remus smiled and kissed Severus once more, lingeringly, on the mouth, then pulled away. "I'll be back," he promised, and went to find Dumbledore.

By the time he returned, the House-elves had brought Severus breakfast. Dumbledore gave Severus a satisfied look, then sat in the chair by his bed. "How are you feeling, my boy?" he asked.

"Lazy," Severus replied tonelessly. He was picking off the tray the house-elves had left by the bed, still in exactly the same position Remus had left him in. He was just breaking off bite-sized chunks of food and feeding himself with his fingers.

A strange expression crossed Dumbledore's face, then he tried again. "Are you still in pain?"

"No," Severus said, contemplating a muffin.

"What happened last night, Severus?"

"Reported back to the Dark Lord about my interview with you," Severus sighed.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "He was that angry about not having you as the Defence Professor?"

"Yes." It was a lie, of course. Well, he did think that the Dark Lord would have Crucioed him just for that, anyway, but it wouldn't have been as harsh as it had been if that was all.

"Oh, my boy, I am so sorry." Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus' shoulder. "But I cannot place you in the position of suffering from the curse after only a year."

"How long do I have to teach?" Severus asked, dreading that answer.

"As long as Tom requires a spy," Dumbledore replied.

Severus made an unhappy noise. He might've earned good enough NEWT scores to be qualified to teach, but he was hardly the right man for such a job. He didn't know how to teach, didn't want to learn, couldn't imagine how to do a lesson plan or how he could stand up in front of NEWT level classes and see kids he'd gone to school with himself. And what about the curriculum? Merlin, he was going to fail miserably.

Remus didn't say anything, but he did reach out and grip Severus' hand in his. "Was that all you needed to know, Headmaster?" he asked, meeting Dumbledore's gaze. "Because I want to take him home so he can rest some more."

Dumbledore frowned slightly.

"Yes, he should certainly rest all day," Poppy agreed, coming in with a cup of tea and another potion. "And he doesn't need to be bothered any more about this business just now."

Severus shut his eyes and ignored the dampness at the corners. He desperately did not want to fall apart over something so stupid, and especially in front of Dumbledore.

Remus clenched his teeth to keep from growling at Dumbledore. The Headmaster stood and patted Severus' shoulder. "Thank you, my boy. I'll talk to you next week, then."

Poppy took one look at Remus' expression and left the tea and potion on the bedside table. As soon as the door closed behind the Headmaster, Remus growled and gathered Severus up in his arms. "Fucking bastard," he muttered, nuzzling Severus.

Severus pressed his face to Remus' neck, clinging to him.

"We'll figure something out," Remus promised, kissing Severus' hair. "We will. But for now let's go home."

"Yes, please," Severus managed, slightly muffled.

Remus nodded and pulled himself away. He gave Severus the potion and tea, waiting until he'd drunk those. "All right, Poppy's got the Floo open." He held out a hand in case Severus needed help out of bed.

Severus nodded and slid out of bed. He took Remus' hand because he wanted to, but he didn't need the help. He followed Remus to the fireplace, then went through the Floo after him.

As soon as they were home, Remus pulled Severus into his arms again and kissed him more thoroughly.

Severus curled his fingers against Remus' cheek and returned the kiss, relieved to be home.

"God, I love you," Remus whispered. "Don't ever get Crucioed again. I don't like it." He dragged Severus upstairs (as gently as possible) and into bed.

Severus snuggled against Remus once they were in bed and closed his eyes again.

Remus kissed Severus' cheek and curled against him, holding him close.

"Mm, love you, feel better being home," Severus murmured.

"Good," Remus breathed. He closed his eyes. "Let's sleep some more."

Severus smiled and relaxed, draping an arm over Remus.

Remus slipped contentedly into sleep. Severus followed.